A/N: EDIT: for any chapter errors, in the mobile or desktop version of the site, go to the chapter URL, that is to say the web address, find the chapter number -it should be 1 here- and simply change it to the desired chapter number. That SHOULD make the next chapter appear.
The app is being ridiculous. This is the only reliable method I can get to work at the moment.
Hope that helps. I'm on the verge of retiring because of all these stupid glitches.
Now, then...
BEHOLD~!
Here we are, finally throwing my hat in the Hazbin ring at last!
Do let me know if you want weekly updates; looking forward to your feedback!
We'll be upgrading this to M shortly, but its at T for now so everyone can see it. This work is either going to be pure, unadulterated chaos, or its going to bomb out; there's no in between here. Long Covid may have me stricken with exhaustion as of late, but here I am. Also getting ready to update "Apples and Atoms" now that SHE finally appeared.
Its hard to stay awake sometimes, more and more, I find myself stricken with the need to rest multiple times a day...T_T
Of course, I try not to dwell on the latter overmuch; I'm still alive and still writing. In an ideal world, I'd like to keep doing so for as long as I can. But old age is catching up to me and these days, the world is filled with so much madness and death. Feels like everyone's lost their minds sometimes. Even before that, so many friends and fellow writers I once knew are gone, now. Will I still be here in twenty years? Ten? Five? Its a chilling thought. But for now, I'm still here, still writing.
So here we go. The fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others. As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're tributes to legends far greater than I. I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild, wacky world, one word at a time. Time and feedback will determine what remains a story and what doesn't. Simple as that.
In other words...the fate of this is up to YOU, the reader. Doooo let me know~!
You all know these (paraphrased) lyrics, courtesy of Insane by BlackGryph0n.
Bloody catchy song. As for the timeline...I'll let you guess.
"Hello, its nice to meet you~! Can you tell me where I am~? I don't know how I got here, but I think I'm starting to understand~!"
I don't belong among the angels~! And baby that's just fine with me~! The things I did down there were highschool~!
But now I'm going for my degree~!"
~?
Rise and Shine
Who turned on the lights?
Because it was bright in here.
Too damn bright for his liking by half!
Naruto creaked an eye open as his world lurched back with a start; he immediately wished it hadn't, because the very fiber of his being ached in the worst of ways, as though his every cell had been dipped in acid and summarily set on fire for good measure. The pain was everywhere, everyone, everything; a gaping void inside him ready to swallow everything whole, should he let it. Breathing became an effort and his back bowed in pain as he curled in on himself, clutching his head against the ringing in his ears.
Gritting his teeth against the existential agony currently consuming him, he flared his chakra and stamped it down into the dark corner of his mind. It fought him tooth and nail the entire way, but he managed to cage it nonetheless. From there, he finally managed to wrangle enough of his senses to take stock of his surroundings; he found himself sprawled out on his back in a strange room of some sort, an unadorned yet-still-brightly-resplendent ceiling greeted his gaze. Trying to move soon proved to be an exercise in futility; he barely had the strength to tun his head, much less breathe.
Where was he? The las thing he remembered was...was...was what, exactly?
Well that, was a problem. He was too darn tired to move, too; his strength was returning, albeit slowly.
Racking his brain, he struggled to recall something, anything really, that might bring some small semblance of sense to this situation.
Alright, calm down, Naruto. You're fine. Its just really bright here...wherever here is. Focus. The last thing I remember is...
Sasuke.
He'd fought him. Blown his arm off. And been run through for it.
A flickering memory tugged at him. Collapsing on the ground beside him, bleeding out, darkness creeping into his vision...numbness...
"Um, excuse me...?" a soft voice intruded upon his thoughts. "Are you alright...? You've been laying there awhile...is there anything I can do to help?"
Shock lent him strength he didn't know he had; he jolted upright and came face to face with a slim, freckle-faced young woman clad in a periwinkle white-yet-purple dress.
Wow, she looked like a princess in that getup...
Despite her regal attire, she looked about as startled to see him as he was her. Her skin shone like silver snow, thoroughly complementing her long thigh-length hair and rather messy bangs. Her eyes were a lovely light blue, framed by dark lashes, but perhaps most noticeable of all were the six white wings sprouting from her back three to each shoulder. Lastly, he noticed the telltale halo hovering just over her head. His mind fizzled out specatcularly.
"Hi! I'm Emily!" a bright smile tugged at her lips as she chirruped happily. "Though, you can call me Emm. Emmy. E, even!" she flailed her hands when he didn't answer. "Whatever you want! I go by whatever."
...Naruto." he found himself giving his name, unbidden.
"Naruto, then! It's so nice to meet you!" She took hold of his hands and babbled right on over him. "I can't remember the last time a soul appeared before one of us directly like this. You must've been exceptionally good while you were alive. Or powerful. Hmm." Her head tilted a touch to the left as she placed a finger to her chin. "Maybe both?"
When he was alive?! He barely heard her over the ringing in his ears.
"Hmm?" Emily pressed her head to his chest, listening despite his panic. "You have a strange heartbeat; that's new. I've never met an angel quite like you...
Angel?!
Stop. Think. Focus. He had to regain control of this conversation.
"Hello," he managed, marshaling his thoughts, "Its nice to meet you. Can you tell me where I am? I don't know how I got here...
...but a small part of him was starting to understand.
The girl's cherubic smile faded in the face of his query, but only for a moment.
"I'm sorry!" releasing his hands, she stepped back and clasped both palms over her stomach. "I'm sure this comes as quite the shock. Usually you would've appeared before the pearly gates, buuuut...
His thoughts began to unravel as she trailed off into a nervous giggle. "Pearly gates?"
"Yup!" her head bobbed. "Here, I'll show you. Come with me."
Emily offered him her hand like the pure soul she was, and numbed, he took it and allowed her to lead him out the room, out the door, then outside. If he'd thought the world bright before, it was downright blazing now, so much that he had to look away at first. But once his vision cleared...
"Welcome to Heaven!"Emily swept out a hand before her. "You're new, so I'll spare you the song this time.
Naruto blinked. He blinked hard.
Sunny skies?
Check.
Pearly gates?
Check.
Wings on his back?
Che-nowaitjustaminute!
He whirled and craned his neck over his shoulder, realizing what had been itching him for the better part of five minutes now, the part he was too distracted to notice, until she pointed it out. There was a weight there now; one that hadn't existed prior. He couldn't see them, not completely, not properly, but now he was very much aware of them. They were...well, quite large actually. His shoulder muscles twitched in stress and unbidden, so too did his new appendages
And was it just his imagination, or did he have more than two wings...?
"Oh, my sweet father! Would you look at those!" Emily squealed in sudden delight, confirming his concern. "This is even better than I thought! You didn't just ascend here after dying; you were reborn! You're...well, new!" something about the way she said the word caused his right ear to twitch, but try as he might, he couldn't muster an angry response when faced with that innocent smile. "You're incredible!"
Something sour stirred within him as he let go of her hand and turned away. "Not feeling incredible...
"You should," she rounded on him and took him by the sleeve, tugging him back to her as she began to babble again, "I've never seen someone reborn as a Seraphim out of the blue this! We haven't had one in years! No wait, you have more wings than me, so what does that make you? Hold on a second, let me count...
Quick as a sunbeam she darted behind him and began poking and prodding, counting and cooing. Numb, he let her.
"One...two..
This wasn't happening.
...Three...four...
It couldn't be happening.
...Five...six...
He couldn't be dead.
...Seven...eight...
He just couldn't be!
...Nine, aaaand ten!" she finished with a happy chirrup. "That's amazing! Even Sera doesn't have that many! She'll be delighted to meet you!"
Naruto scarcely heard her as his heart hammered in his chest. He had ten wings. The exact same number of the Ten Tails. And he couldn't hear Kurama. Couldn't feel him. In his partner's place he felt a mighty presence that both was and was not him, powerful, yet foreign all the same. Even a blond man could've made the connection.
"Here, look." Emily conjured a mirror -where had she gotten that?- between her palms and held it out for him. "See for yourself."
He accepted the looking glass with trembling fingers and nearly spat a curse at what he found there. It was his face alright, but he was...changed. He still retained his whiskers and piercing blue eyes, but his once blond hair had gone quite white and and the dusky pallor of his skin was eerily akin to hers. Which meant...!
He started hyperventilating, breath coming in short gasps. "No, no, no...
The world -heaven!- slipped through his fingers.
His vision swam and he fainted.
(.0.0.0.)
Dark eyes opened.
His skull absolutely ached.
"...where in the hell am I...?"
A smiling shadow fell over his form.
"An apt choice of words, my good fellow...
(.0.0.0.)
Reality reasserted itself in a rush.
Naruto heard voices as he came to; fragments of conversation in the dark. Some didn't sound best pleased.
He heard a strange slurping sound. "I'm just saying, what kinda angel faints? Fucking pussy."
Someone coughed. "I concur, sir. No angel worth their salt would collapse like that.
"So what're we waiting for? Let's kick him out and-
"And what? Give him to Lucifer? I think not.
"I ain't saying that-
"Cease. That's quite enough, Adam."
"Fiiiiiine, I'm sorry. Happy, now? Not like he can even hear me.
...I can, actually."
Through blurry vision he beheld an eclectic band of -what he could only assume were angels- crowded around him.
"Well, well! Look who's awake! Rise and shine, sleepyhead!"
First and foremost, he glimpsed a rather eccentric looking individual clad in absurdly long white robes, the latter festooned with strange blue marks, an odd "A" on his chest, and outrageous golden sleeves. His wings were a noticeable shade of gold and...was that a horned mask he was wearing? He hoped so, because if it wasn't, that was the strangest angel he'd seen. And he'd seen a few strange things!
The grin he wore -more a sneer, really- didn't exactly endear him to his cause, either...
By contrast the young woman standing beside the colorful one looked even less kind. Not only did she favor colors of grey and silver, but her wings were an odd white-black near the edges, further contrasting her already somewhat pallid complexion, piercing golden eyes and pale hair. A black halo sat atop her head with a spoke run through it, tilting a little now as she inclined her head to regard him. He didn't like the look in her eyes. It wasn't cold, he could deal with cold; no, her gaze was zealous, fanatical, callous...
"Look at him quivering, sir." her lips pursed in a scowl as she planted a fist on her hip. "He's clearly an aberration. Perhaps it would be best if we purged him."
Aaaaand just like that, he had an instant dislike for this woman.
Wait. She'd said something about purging just now. Purging someone. Purging him?!
Another rush of emotion coursed through him, not panic, but anger, searing white hot in his veins.
He flung himself off the bed and his new wings responded accordingly to his fury. They unfurled behind him in response to his sudden stress, all ten of them at once. The sudden release of blinding brilliance buffeted both the broad and the bastard backward, hurling them against a wall with an audible crunch. He barely noticed.
"Huh." Here at last, he finally caught a proper glimpse of his new appendages in all their gilded glory. "So that's what they look like...
Not only were a bright-feathered gold, replete with shining sunlight, but they were large. They felt strong, powerful, ready to be used. There was more to it than that. He knew how to use them, as thought he knowledge had been there all along. He flexed the muscles in his back and they answered the call, creating a might downdraft to rustle his hair. It felt good. It felt natural. It felt right. A small tentative smile bloomed across his whiskered face.
Maybe this wasn't so bad after all...
Alas, the masked man recovered and got up in his face. "What's wrong with you?!
Right, callous bastard and his bitch trying to get him killed. Should probably deal with that. He didn't want to die twice.
"Me?!" He all but spat the word, leering back at him. "Your friend over there was talking about killing me just now! Did you expect me to take that lying down?!"
A flicker of uncertainty crossed the man's mask before he rallied. "Would you believe me if I said it was just a joke...?"
His temper sparked into an inferno. "If you call that a joke, then you've got a twisted sense of humor!"
"Say that again, punk! I dare you!"
Naruto stepped forward.
"Calm yourself, Seraphim, and be welcome." a dusky hand settled on his shoulder before his rage could lunge forward and slug the bastard. "You're in no danger here."
He whirled and found someone who looked an awful lot like an older version of Emily looming over him; silent, slender, and stern. As though sensing that very thought, the smaller seraphim in question poked out behind her and granted him a jaunty wave. Unbidden, he found himself returning it.
His anger returned as he glared at her...sister? Mother? He couldn't tell. "Aren't I?" he stared heatedly at her. "Sure feels like it."
"For that, you have my most heartfelt apologies." She smiled at him and touched a hand to her collarbone; the gesture almost felt sincere. Almost. Then her gaze cut across the room, regarding the still-recovering female angel who had so senselessly insult him before and her words caused him to reconsider. "He is one of us, Lute. You will not speak ill of him."
The now-named-woman clicked her tongue and looked away, a hot flush creeping up her face. "Yes, ma'am...
"And you, Adam." the -seraphim?- fixed him with her steely stare next. "I expect better of you."
The colorful angel wilted. "Yeah, yeah, sure." he didn't sound sincere. "I'll do better...
Alright, breathe. Calm down. He held onto his anger a moment more and let it go. His wings tucked themselves down against his back and he felt them recede, ready to be called upon at a moment's notice should he so desire. Emily flitted over to his side with that irresistibly innocent smile smile of her and he felt his spirits lighten, just a little.
"See?" she nudged him. "What did I tell you? Isn't Sera just awesome?"
She was certainly something.
"Now, then," she turned a motherly smile on them both. "Why don't you both apologize and let bygones be bygones?"
Now it was Naruto's turn to bridle. Apologize?! What did have to apologize for?!
Emily sided with him, bless her. "Sera, he didn't do anything wrong-
"Reborn though he may be, he did attack Adam...
In fear for his life!
Adam saw the moment and seized on it, rolling his shoulder. "Yeah, man, you gave me a bruise."
Bullshit! This guy was lying out his ass, that no-good-cheeky-sonuva...
.
..
...breathe. Don't give in. Be the better man.
The righteous fury in him wanted to shout and swear and sunder but he could feel Emily staring at him. Emily, who had been so kind, so hospitable, so nice from the moment he first set foot into Heaven...
...fine. I'm sorry if you are." Reluctantly, he turned back to face the aggravating, arrogant angel. "And you are who, exactly...?"
"Adam. Father of humanity, rockstar, and all around badass." the lunatic flicked a finger gun his way. "Pleasure's mine."
Naruto eyed the hand, baffled by his brutish behavior. "I've never heard of you."
The masked man absolutely twitched. "Really? I'm a pretty big deal...
"Nope." he forced a smile he didn't feel. "So you're an angel?
"The very best!"
His brow furrowed. That didn't make any sense. Weren't angels supposed to be good? Emily undoubtedly was, and Sera seemed the same, but Lute and especially this guy...there was something wrong with them. He could still sense emotions, negative or otherwise, and what he sensed right now smelled like a rotten pile of sludge curdled with expire milk and spiced with balsamic.
.
..
...why does your soul stink?"
Sera slapped a palm to her forehead. "Oh, dear."
Adam's smug smile died an ugly death, drenched itself in gasoline, and set itself on fire. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me." Something was awake deep inside of him now, and it would be held back no longer. "You reek. How are you up here?"
A host of complicated emotions flashed across the angel's mask, there and gone in an instant, until only anger remained. "You wanna go, newbie?"
"Sorry, I'm not into jerks." The words escaped him before he could think to hold them back. "But I'll kick your ass to kingdom come and back again if that's what you want."
Lute bulled forward with fury. "How dare you-
"Quiet, you." He chopped her over the head, casually causing her to bite her tongue. "I'm in no mood for another fangirl; I got enough of those dealing with Sasuke.
Adam puffed up. "You dissin' my posse?
"Well, they clearly lack taste...
"That's it!" out came Adam's wings, his face twisting in fury as he jabbed a finger up under his chin. "I don't give a rat's ass who you are or how many wings you have; I'm top dog around here and you better cut that shit out real QUICK because-
By the sage did this guy ever shut up?
The itchy feeling returned tenfold, honesty incarnate, all filters removed, an open wound aching to lash out; it might've been the loss of Kurama, the realization that he was dead, or any other number of factors that drove him to do what he did next; either way, the result was the same.
"All I hear is a yappy little chihuahua barking for attention."
Lute's jaw clicked open.
Emily gasped.
Sera balked.
Adam...
He sensed danger and twisted his head aside just as the First Man thrust a hand forward; not a moment later, a searing beam of light perforated the space his skull had occupied a second before. It drilled into the wall and left a smoking crater behind.
Naruto flicked a glance toward it and shrugged. "You missed."
"I ain't gonna miss again, you snarky little silver-tongue piece of SHI-
"Enough!" Sera pushed her way between them, wings flared. "Boy's please, there's no need for this. We're all angels here." she cast a meaningful glance his way, a plea for contrition. "I'm sure our new friend didn't mean what he said."
Naruto pursed his lips. "No, I definitely did. How in the hell is that an angel?! He's the literal opposite of one!"
Adam sprang to his feet, teeth bared. "Ohhh that does it, whiskers! It is on like Donkey Kong!"
Naruto blinked. "...donkey who now?
"Dude! I'm ancient and even I know that reference. You been living under a rock or something?
Another dig at him being dead. He had spirit if nothing else; he would've liked this guy if he wasn't such an asshole-no. In that moment he knew they would never get along, not until the death of the universe. There was too much bad blood between them now, too much for even him to consider giving him a second chance. Short of a miracle? It just wasn't hapenning.
"Funny you should mention rocks," he cracked his knuckles, "Because I'm about to put you under one.
Adam's forehead slammed against his with vigor. "Not if I get you first.
Emily tried to interposed herself between them, bless her. "Wait-
"Quiet, pipsqueak," Adam brushed her aside. "So how we doing this?
Naruto set his jaw and planted his feet. "Loser has to do anything the winner says."
Adam's grin told him he'd blundered. "Works for me. If I win, you're cleaning the toilets for the next three months-
Was that it?" Doesn't sound so bad...
-with your tongue!"
His right eye twitched. "You're just a special class of ass, aren't ya? And if I win?"
Adam sputtered. "You won't, pal."
He pressed him. "But if I do?"
"Dude, you're a newborn angel. Doesn't matter how may wings ya go, you're probably weak as shit."
Was he? He didn't feel weak right now. If anything he felt powerful; stronger than he'd ever been. Then why are you so afraid to fight me?"
"I ain't!"
Sera heaved a sigh that shook her slim shoulders. "Humor him, Adam. The sooner we get this nonsense over with, the better."
Yeah, sure, whatever. Fine!" the so-called angel rounded on him, teeth bared. If I lose then...what, you want me to peg you or something?"
Naruto absolutely gagged as his face blazed red. For a moment he could've sworn every other anger in the room did the same. "Not a chance!" he slammed his arms together in the distinctive shape of an X at him. "Not in a million years!"
"What, then?" Adam clicked his tongue and smirked. "Too afraid to think of something?"
He wracked his brain for ideas. One came to him. "When you lose...
-if I lose and that's a big if!"
...you have to be nice."
Adam gagged. "And?"
"That, and you give me charge of these subordinates of yours. he jerked a thumb back at Lute, who squawked indignantly. "They're clearly in need of a proper leader. Not some overgrown brat like you."
Adam looked like he'd asked him to cut off his arm. "Hand over my exorcists to you? Not a chance! Pick something else!"
He quirked a brow at him. "Chicken?"
"Hey! Don't you DARE!" when Naruto flapped his arms and made poultry noises. Why you little...! You're going down!"
A shit-eating grin split his face. Something burned bright in him. It almost felt like pride mingled with wrath. "We'll see about that...
Sera thrust herself between them with the look of a woman who wanted to strangle them both. "Do the two of you agree to these terms?"
"Yup!/Sure!"
...very well. This way."
With a long suffering sigh, she led them outside to a secluded cloudbank away from the promenade and prying eyes. At a glance, it didn't seem like anything to write home about; just a cushion of surprisingly solid clouds nestled beneath the warm rays of the sun. Upon closer inspection he realized there was a weight to this place, a gravity that he couldn't quite define.
Adam paraded about, grinning like he owned the damn place, naturally. "Nice! Good choice, Sera. I missed my old stomping grounds."
An ember of anger sparked in him. Had this happened before? Had other souls challenge Adam before? Had-
"Victory goes to whomever forces the other to yield." Sera's voice cut through his thoughts like a burning sword; she looked between them, eyes blazing. "Emily and I will be watching the both of you. Any attempt to do so kill will result in immediate disqualification. Are we clear?"
Naruto nodded. "Crystal."
Adam waved her on. "You want a weapon, weakling?"
Bastard! "Nah, I've got my own." Hopefully. He wasn't sure if he could conjure his staff here. "
Adam conjured a strange golden weapon that seemed to be a cross between a guitar and a battleaxe. "One way to find out!"
Emily touched his hand, stalling him. "Naruto, please." she gazed up at him with her bright, soulful eyes. "You don't have to this right now; its only your first day of Heaven. I don't want to see you get hurt."
He bridled at the insinuation. Danger? She thought he was in danger?! Nonsense! He was the danger!
But that darn pout of hers -so innocently pure- weakened his resolve once more. Maybe he'd overstepped. He wasn't feeling entirely himself at the moment; it was more than righteous fury spurring him on, but the loss of Kurama and his own death were gnawing at him, leaving him feeling hollow inside. Maybe a bit of rest would do him some good; they could always settle this in the morning if he still felt the same.
He took a breath, shook his head, and made to walk away. "...maybe you've got a point."
Emily chirruped, simultaneously surprised and delighted. "I do?"
"You do. We don't have to do this right now, Adam." he looked to the scowling Angel. "Let's wait until morning."
Sera seemed oddly pleased with the choice; because she actually smiled and granted him a nod. "That sounds acceptable. There's no need to fight at this very moment. Perhaps we should let cooler heads prevail."
Lute scoffed.
Naruto turned his back on her and paid her all the attention she was due; which was to say none...
.
..
... right up until Adam got the last word in with a sneer. "Backin' down now, are we? Looks like you're the one whose all bark and no bite. I'd bet my halo you died a coward's death...didn't you?"
'He did not just say that.'
The entirety of Heaven momentarily dimmed as Naruto froze in midstep.
Sera, Emily, and even Lute looked up, eyes wide, terribly startled by the display.
He didn't see their reactions; his attention was decidedly elsewhere. A muscle jumped in his jaw, pounding alongside a throbbing vein in his temple as his wings howled back into existence behind his back. All the anger he'd struggled to contain came roaring back in a red tide that swallowed all thought, all sense, all sanity. He couldn't see his own eyes-it just wasn't possible-but here in this moment, they blazed a bright holy gold as he craned his neck back to regard the arrogant angel with a scowl. Four words parted his lips. "What did you say?
Adam scoffed and made a show of inspecting his weapon. "Ha? You dumb and dead? I said you're a little chickenshit."
Sera hissed. "Adam! For once in your life, be quiet!"
"What? Its not an insult if its true-
His head snapped to the side as clenched knuckles barreled into his face at lightspeed . It was a very good punch Naruto felt; powerful, poised, and perfect. His chakra-filled fist smashed into that bastards helmet with a dull crunch, and sent the arrogant angel tumbling down to the clouds. The moment Adam fell, he lunged at him, tackled him, and pinned him there.
So began the barrage.
One punch, two punch, three punch, four punches followed, rapid strikes hammering into the older angel's gut. He rather liked the sounds he made; so he kept swinging, beating him down bit by brutal bit. Someone was shouting behind him, but he never knew who, couldn't hear anything over the roaring in his ears. He linked both hands over his head and brought them crashing down on Adam's instead.
In hindsight, it was too much to hope that would knock him out. Should've know better. Arrogant blowhard though he was, he was sturdy as they came.
With a snarl, Adam flared his wings and bucked, hurling him away, shattering the red haze in his mind. "You think you're hot shit, don't you?!"
"Not really." he shrugged a shoulder. "Just better than you."
It was the wrong thing to say.
Adam lunged at him, swinging for the fences. He gave ground with a frown and let the ax sweep over him, past him, aside from him. Even then his steps felt stilted. Awkward. He wasn't used to the weight of these wings on his back; they threw off his balance, his coordination. He dodged Adam easily enough, but he couldn't get a bead on him. His angelic body was stronger, but he couldn't move the way he wanted. Stranger still, he had a helluva time trying to summon his staff to his hand-
And then he missteped.
Adam took full advantage to slash at his face. "Game over, rookie!"
His entire body tensed...and all ten of his wings swung as one to block the blow, stopping it cold.
Naruto blinked.
Adam balked. "What the shit?!"
Emily tilted her head just so. "He can do that?"
"I can do that?!" Naruto echoed her sentiment in full-throated disbelief.
Adam hauled back and swung, only to find himself forestalled once more by the heavenly raiment. Here at last, he glimpsed a flicker of fear in the man's cracked mask.
Relief was sweet, it was heady, and it lent him a strength he never knew he had.
"I can use these as weapons?" A grin split his face. "Well, alright, then."
Adam swore. "Crap-
A golden wing smacked the First Man upside the head, even as a second swept his legs, opening him up to a third to strike him in the gut, folding him clean in half across the feathered appendage.
'That's right. These are extensions of my body; they respond to my muscles, to my will. Which means I can probably...
He deflected Adam with one wing, battered him back with another and poured chakra through three more to slash like a blade. The result spoke for itself; he struck true, tearing into his foes chest, slashing through his so-called defenses as though they weren't even there. Golden blood flew through the air to splash across his cheek.
'Huh. So that's what our blood looks like now. Can't say I approve...I prefer mine to run red...
Adam dropped to a knee and clutched at his wound, snarling into the clouds.
Naruto looked to Sera. "We good? I think he's done-
"Never!" The first man righted himself with a snarl. "I didn't hear no bell, bastard!"
...well, alright." he shrugged a shoulder. "If you say so."
He didn't give him a chance to catch his breath and lunged in, wings propelling him forward at speed. Unprepared for the sudden burst, Adam couldn't quite escape in time. He caught him by the face, fingers biting down into the his helm, only for his foe to flare his wings and fly free.
Not so his mask.
Unable to escape with its master, it was left behind, dangling from his hand.
"Huh." he gave it a shake and squinted at the angel's face. "So that's what you look like without this. Too edgy." He flung it down at his feet. "Pick it up."
Much to his surprise, Adam didn't; which gave him a prime view of the rage twisting his face.
"You think you're better than me?!" he slashed his ax forward in an arc of holy light, trying to cut him in half. "That you're tough shit, huh?
"Not really, no." he batted the blast aside into the sky and righted himself, wings flaring behind him. "But you...you're all brute force. You're lacking so many things, ya know?"
He darted in and gave himself over to his new body, moving on instinct.
A blistering roundhouse.
"You lack discipline."
Palm thrust.
"Control!"
Gut punch!
"And worst!"
Discombobulate!
He slammed both hands down on Adam's ears, leaving him reeling.
...you're SLOPPY." he finished with a scowl as the angel slumped down before him, wasted and gasping for air. "Anyone can see it. When was the last time you actually trained?"
"That's enough." Sera raised a hand. "Adam yields-
"NO!" much to his annoyance, said angel punched the clouds and wobbled his way upright, swaying drunkenly on his feet. "I ain't...done! Not yet!"
A small flick of sympathy kicked at Naruto's heart. "Yes, you are."
Adam lunged at him like a feral dog, teeth bared.
(.0.0.0.)
This wasn't happening.
He was Adam! The original man!
Winning was what he did! Every day! He didn't lose!
But he was losing. Here and now, he found himself being beaten, battered, butchered within an inch of his life.
Naruto caught his weapon in his left hand and crushed it in his fist. Not so the punch that followed. He took that one like champ; he'd give him that; his eyes widened in momentary surprise as his head snapped to the side...right until he turned his face in against the fist, uncaring of the clenched knuckles currently denting his cheek. His smile returned tenfold.
Something curdled deep within Adam's soul.
He'd never felt the like before.
Was this...fear?
"All the work for a drop of blood." Naruto wiped a thin bead of golden ichor from his lips with one hand, and gripped his wrist with the other, anchoring him in place. "My turn now."
It was at this moment.
That he knew.
'I fucked up.'
"ORAH!"
Clenched knuckles barreled into his jaw with a triumphant shout. Not just fists this time around, but those damn wings as well. Sera's new seraphim was using them like extra limbs now, beating the tar out of him. There was no getting past them; he made the mistake of trying and soon learned his lesson; they were hard as steel and swift as lightning.
How could someone move that fast with ten wings?! It didn't make any sense! He tried to fight back, only to find himself battered left and right, up down and center. It never stopped. It just kept coming. Ordinarily he would've made a joke about that, but he couldn't see straight -couldn't think!- for all the pain and ohgodithurtmakeitstop!
An awful thought occurred to him, just then, as he hurtled through the air. I'm not the bad guy here, am I?
Every fiber of his being bridled at the very idea of it all; the stinking gall.
No way! I'm Adam! The first man! There's no way-
And then. Quite suddenly.
He had his answer.
(.0.0.0.)
The final blow came not with a whisper, but a bang.
Naruto blocked another savage attack from Adam, met him halfway rasengan in hand, and smashed his signature technique down into the angel's chest.
The result was a bit...well-overkill, if he was being honest. He'd taken his chakra into account-really-he had, but in his haste to finish the fight, he'd forgotten about his newfound angelic power and the blessings that came with it; what followed was a snarling helix of light that tore into the first man's torso, eviscerated his body in a way he hadn't at all intended, and left him reeling back. As such...
.
..
...You...rat...bastard...!"
Adam gurgled once, staggered forward, tried to grab him, and failed. His eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed like a house of cards at his feet. Golden blood oozed from his wounds to pool upon the clouds, staining them an ugly shade of yellow. Third time was the charm as they say; his adversary did not rise again. Come to think of it, he didn't seem to be moving at all...
Naruto winced a little, despite himself. "Ooops?"
A moment of silence followed. And then:
Lute screamed.
A/N: Did he just...?
We'll pick up here next chapter and you'll have your answer!
Hope you enjoyed this! Would you like weekly updates? Four slots remain!
Might make an alternate version for this with Naruto down in the hells. I'm torn between "Smile Like You Mean it" or "All Eyes on Me". I've not written anything on that front, we'll see.
As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this...well, we'll not continue it. Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule, I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!
Reviews are my lifeblood. Without them, I cannot write.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Revieeeeew, Would You Kindly?
They keeps an old man alive.
And enjoy the previews.
As ever:
SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!
PLOT DETAILS AHOY!
YE BE WARNED!
Get ready to smile~!
Obvious references are obvious~!
(POTENTIAL!) Previews! What can I say? We've been busy.
Emily chirruped happily as the light show faded "Pretty...
Naruto lowered his hands, face burning bright red.
...how long have you been standing there?"
"Extermination day...?" His hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I'm sorry, you wanna run that by me again?"
"I want to be better." He gripped his throat, dangling him over the edge. "Don't make me let you down."
"You're insane."
"Ah, but what is madness if not the path to brilliance?"
"You'll learn, or you will be made to learn. Simple as that."
Alastor tittered merrily. "Well, well. This promises to be...entertaining."
Emily used smile!
Its super effective!
Critical hit! Naruto fainted!
EDIT: Thanks for reading! Looking forward to your feedback! Hope you have a great day filled with lots of laughter and luck~!