If Only

For a

Little While

Flash backs

Hiei stood in front of the cave wall, his jargon looking out through it to see if any one or thing was there. Nothing, he could go out without any one following him. He gave a sigh of relief as he stepped through the illusion. He had come back to the cave he had called home for most of his life to find that it was just as he left it, if just a little dusty. He had spent the last two weeks cleaning it and living off fish that had spawned in the small pool deeper in the cave. He had remembered putting a few fingerlings in it before he left for the ningin-ki. He had not expected for them to live let alone breed at least sixty more.

He heaved a sigh, he had spent the first two days waking up sick only to spend the first hour of the morning in his make-shift bathroom. That was followed by the rest of the day spent curled up in a nest of long grasses and leaves crying. He missed Kurama. It had felt like he had broken up with his fox to never see him again. Several tears made there trails down his cheeks to be caught in his palm. Damn hormones.

He soon found what he was looking for. Tall, soft, cotton grass, the perfect thing to remake his 'nest'. It would also last for a long time and be soft and warm for his baby to sleep on not to mention be born on. He took his sword and swung it a little awkwardly close to the ground, cutting plenty to take back and make a new bed. The koorime gathered up the cut stalks after sheathing his sword and went back to his cave to burn away the evidence of the older grass.

Once done with the last of the cleaning he had to do he sat down on his pallet and curled into a ball. His 'bed room' was small, by small was that it was barely six feet in diameter. His pallet covering the whole room while small torches gave soft flickering light and kept the room nicely warm and dry. It would have been perfect if he wasn't alone and three and a half months pregnant. He wrapped his arms around the slight bulge that had started to form last week.

He soon wouldn't be able to go hunting or defend himself. He was also going to be weaker and unable to defend himself as the baby fed off of his energy as it grew. Hiei knew that he should have Kurama with him to help but he just couldn't take that rejection. He began to cry, tear gems rolling into his impression in the grasses. He wanted his fox.

Yoko Kurma sped through the forest, the plant life parting way for their master. He had been searching for Hiei since he woke up two weeks ago to Hiei's note and gift. A slender delicate hand came up to hold the gem to his chest. He knew why Hiei had left. He had found out from Shizuru.

"Where is he!" Yoko Kurama snarled as he held Kuwabara up to his face by the boys blue collar.

"Ah! I. .I Don't know!" Kuwabara stammered. Yoko Kurama felt some one grab his arm.

"Calm down Kurama." Shizuru ordered gently, "Come and sit and I'll tell you everything"

Yoko Kurama did as asked, releasing the loud redhead with a thud. As he sat he shifted back to the vibrant redhead that they all knew. His green eyes locked on Shizuru with a sharp piercing green stare. He waited impatiently as Shizuru threw her brother out of the room and threatened to let the yoko have his cat if he listened at the door. She sat down next to him with no fear.

"Hiei is two and a half months pregnant." Blunt but effective.

Kurama sat there not even twitching. Shizuru thought him to have died right there, till his jaw dropped as he processed the information he was just given. Shizuru casually covered her ears and began to count down.

"3. .2. . 1. ."


Stage one shock completed, stage two denial commencing in. . Again she started to count under her breath.

"3. .2. . 1. ."

"How? When? No he wouldn't leave over something like that. No this is Hiei, he'd be scared out of his mind and leave to keep from. .getting. . hurt. . ." Kurama stopped, turned pale, and began to shake.

"Shit, I'm going to be a father. . . Shit Hiei's going to be a. . . . mother. . . SHIT I HAVE TO FIND HIM!" With that revelation completed, Shizuru opened the window just before a dashing Yoko Kurama could go through it.

Kurama slowed to a stop covering his eyes as he came into a clearing. It was a dead end. Cliff face encircled the entire area for at least a hundred feet. But that couldn't be right, Hiei's scent was the strongest here. He began to 'sniff' around, trying to find exactly where the sent was coming from. It seemed to becoming from the stone its self.

Yoko Kurama decided to run his hand over the stone to see if there might be a trick or something he wasn't grasping. When he put his palm against the stone, it passed right through. He gave a satisfied smirk. An illusion to keep people from going inside. Too bad for his lover that he wasn't that gullible. He walked though the illusion and into the cave.

Kurama found it to be pleasantly warm and dry not to mention well lit with the small flames that burned along the wall. Hiei's scent was plain as day now. Kurama followed it, winding down the tunnels till he came to a round room. The floor of said room was covered in the soft cotton grass that he saw growing not far from here. But what he was more interested in was the being that was curled up in the center of the room.

Kurama nearly broke out in tears of joy at seeing his kooromi safe. He shifted back to his human form and with the grace and stealth that a cat yearned to have, he moved to spoon tightly behind his quick silver. He was nearly asleep when his love turned and snuggled to his chest. He stayed still as he listened to Hiei take several sniffs before trying to bolt up, only to be stopped by the strong, gentle, loving arms of his fox.

Hiei's head slowly came up to look Kurama in the face. Kurama was not prepared for the frightened shaking sight before him as tears began to fall from those scared orbs of molting blood. He was at a lost for what to do so he did the only thing he knew, he did what felt right. Kurama pulled Hiei close and pressed Hiei's head to his chest.

"Shhh, it's alright my Koi. I'm not going anywhere. Shhhh." Kurma tried to sooth.

"You weren't s-s-suppose to f-f-find out this w-way." Hiei sobbed. "She told you didn't she?"

"Yes" Kurama brought a gentle hand to Hiei's chin and tilted his head up to look at him.

"Hiei, why didn't you tell me?" Kurama asked softly.

Hiei didn't answer. He couldn't, there was no way he could ever find the words to tell his lover, his mate, what it felt like to be that afraid. And no excuse as to why he would not tell the man he loved that he was going to be a father. The only action Hiei was capable of doing at that point in time was to try and calm his tears, but that was even beyond his ability at this point as he choked on repressed sobs.

Kurama's hand left his chin and curled around his waist whilst his other came to gently cup the back of his mates head. With a swift movement, Kurama turned them over so Hiei laid curled on top of his chest. He allowed Hiei to getaway with out answering but he did not let his kooromi get away with not listening.

"Hiei, I don't know how you felt, and I don't know if you will ever be able to find the proper words to tell me, but always know that I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine." Kurama paused to lay a soft, tender kiss on top his mates head. "I would never hurt you, ever. Yes I would have been surprised when you told me about the baby, but I would never reject you. This baby, our babe, is a part of you and I, but most importantly a part of you. A part of you that I get to love just as much as I love you now."

At this point Hiei's tears had become even heavier. How could he have ever doubted Kurama. How could he have doubted Kurama's love for him. Hiei could not bring himself to look up into those emerald eyes, to see the love, passion, devotion, and tenderness that he knew was burning in those pools of liquid emeralds. He continued to listen intently as his mate spoke soothingly.

"Hiei, it seems that the only way for me to make this apparent to you, is to ask you a very important question. One that would require you to look up at me so I can see for myself what your answer will be."

Hiei heard the request and looked up into the eyes that burned just as he knew they would.

"Hiei, I want you to come back with me. Come back to the ninjen-kai, where you will be safe with me and people who love and care for you. Will you come back?"

Hiei blinked, he knew that Kurama knew that just coming here to retrieve him would bring him back. So that couldn't be the important question. . .

"I know what you are thinking, and no, that wasn't my question, my question is this my Koi. . ." Kurama paused bring his hand from behind Hiei's head to cup a smooth round cheek. "Hiei will you marry me?"

He he, Trio here, after so long of not updating, I bet ya all are going to kill me for this one! Well no worry's now! I have MY OWN computer and I'm no longer having to share it with a bunch of others! So my updates should start to come sooner now. Sorry its so short though, couldn't help it! Ok I could but I just didn't want to!