TITLE: Makeovers For Sale
SUMMARY: Sirius sells makeovers to people who need them (and some who don't...)
PAIRING: Sirius/Remus (slash, people)
DISCLAIMER: You know who owns them. You also can guess who wishes that she does.
FEEDBACK: Bottom of this page, or at firstname.lastname@example.org
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to Minstrel, for just...being a cool new person that I met on that wonderful SBRL Yahoo Group.
Muscular arms, long legs, and shiny black hair took up as much room as possible on the couch in front of the Gryffindor common room fire. The occupant of the couch was lying on his back, snoozing, a faint snore coming from his slightly open mouth.
Nearby, Peter Pettigrew prodded his queenside rook a little too hard in the back, and it turned and glared at him. Ignoring the Wizarding chess piece, Peter huffed loudly. Hazel eyes looked up at him questioningly from across the table.
"How does he do it?" Peter grumbled without being asked. He studied the chessboard. "You hear those girls over there? They just fawn all over him like he's some god. I mean, it's not like he actually DID anything to look like that, you know? Knight to E5."
James Potter shrugged, wincing a little as the enthusiastic knight bashed the head of one of his pawns in. "I know what you mean, mate. He could have any girl in this school." He threaded his fingers together, cracking them loudly, and then thumped his rowdy king. "Bishop to C2." His eyes followed the piece behind his glasses. "I see Evans watching him every now and then."
"You'd notice her doing anything. She probably hasn't looked at him any more than she's looked at you, and you're just being paranoid about it."
"Maybe you're right." James glanced over at the figure on the couch, a frown etched on his mouth. "Well, I guess if I fancied boys, I'd be attracted to him."
Peter chuckled. "Sure, I know what you're saying. He IS rather good-looking, for a bloke. All these girls, staring at him all the time, and he hardly ever even acknowledges them. If I looked like him, I'd have the run of the school."
"Hmm," James grunted absently, staring at the chessboard again. "Your turn." The conversation halted for a while as the two boys moved and lost a few more pieces between them. They were the most closely matched out of their friends, and so they enjoyed playing each other. Sirius, the boy on the couch, was phenomenally better than they were, and Remus, their other friend, was a particularly dreadful player.
"Is Remus still in the library?" James asked as Peter took his next turn.
"I think so. It's getting late, though, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I'm surprised Madame Pince hasn't kicked...ah, there he is."
Remus Lupin climbed in through the portrait hole, his shaggy, light brown hair disheveled and his thin face as pale as ever. He saw the two boys in front of the chess set and grinned, making his way over.
"Who's winning?" He set his bag down and pulled a chair over to stoop down over the table, his face just above the middle and his hair hanging all over the board.
James pushed the smirking boy out of the way and pushed his glasses up. "Peter is. I KNEW that winning streak I had going on last week was just a lark."
"A false sense of security, that is," Peter commented lightly. He looked up to see Remus staring over to where Sirius was sprawled out on the couch. Two girls were approaching the sleeping boy, and Remus was frowning. "You alright, Moony?"
"Mmm," Remus still watched the area near the fireplace, "I'm fine. Do you think we should get Sirius up to bed if he's tired? I mean, those girls look like they're about to maul him, don't they? And if he needs his sleep..."
"He's actually just passing time waiting for you," James told him. "He said he wanted to trade Astronomy notes." He took his turn, prodding an arguing pawn.
Remus shrugged and stood, making his way over to where the two girls, a pair of Fourth years, were talking quietly. They were both staring intently at Sirius. He got close enough to hear their conversation.
"-gets his hair so shiny. I wonder if he'd let us in on his secret?" The taller one said.
"And his skin is so smooth and perfect!" the other one gushed. "I wonder if he uses some special kind of soap for his skin..."
Remus, suddenly annoyed, reached the couch and shooed them away, earning glares from both of them. "You can gawk at him some other time," he said loudly to their retreating backs, feeling only a little bit guilty at being so rude. It served them right, he thought, for bothering his friend. He looked down to find Sirius awake, grinning up at him with a twinkle in his blue eyes.
"Fending off my admirers, Moony?" he said as he stretched his arms above his head, the jumper that he was wearing riding up a little on his stomach. Remus couldn't help but eye the exposed skin a little, admiring how tan it was even though it was February.
"I just thought you'd be a little bothered by those two twits." Remus knelt down on the floor at Sirius' feet, watching him. "Merlin, Sirius. Don't you even notice? The girls all fancy you, the boys are all jealous of you, and half of them don't even KNOW you. Doesn't that disturb you?"
Sirius sat up and shrugged, rustling his shoulder-length hair with one hand while he patted the seat next to him with the other, scooting over to make room. Remus rose and flung himself down on the cushion, noting how warm it was.
"I don't worry about that sort of thing," Sirius said, waving his hand. "You know, most of those people that you're talking about could be just as attractive if they only did a few things to their appearance." He let his eyes wander over the room. "Take Sheila McMichaels for example. She's got a thin face and long straight hair. When you have a thin face, you should have shorter hair to balance out the effect. She'd look MUCH better with a sort of bob, don't you think?" Not waiting for Remus' answer, he turned and caught the other boy with his mouth slightly open. Grinning, he leaned over and closed the square jaw with his hand. "Oh, don't look so shocked. I know a thing or two about giving beauty advice."
Remus rubbed his hand on his face where Sirius had touched him. "Your humbleness is astounding, sometimes. But yeah, maybe you could give makeovers for all the ugly girls," he commented sarcastically. "Ten or eleven sickles for just a facial makeover, and a galleon for a whole body change. You'd have everyone queued out the portrait hole."
Sirius' eyes took on a hazy cast. A small smile played on his lips, and he looked around the common room again. "You know, you may have something there. I mean, you heard those girls, wondering how to get my skin and hair to look like it does. I could give Sheila that bob, and Amanda over there could use some makeup tips, and-"
"I was kidding, Sirius," Remus told him, astonished. But Sirius just shook his head, looking excited.
"No, you've got a great idea! My parents may be wealthy, but it's not exactly like they're shoving galleons into my pockets, you know?" Sirius stood up, ignoring Remus' sounds of protests. "I'll see you later, Remus. I've got some...I've got to..." He rushed off up the boys' stairs with a wave, leaving a perplexed Remus sitting on the warm couch.
Makeovers for sale! Want to be the talk of the school? Want to earn multitudes of affections from the opposite sex? Want to attract that special bloke that you've been eyeing for ages? Want to win your professors over? Want to hear a whistle come out of your reflection's mouth in front of the mirror every morning, while your dorm mates look on in jealousy? Even Snape could look better with some tips from The Master. Only ten sickles for a facial, and only one galleon for a complete body makeover! Contact Sirius Black for more information.
As Remus had feared, the project went off without a hitch as soon as the signs were up. His prediction about a crowd of people queuing up out of the portrait hole appeared to be correct; witches were whispering excitedly and nervously, the front end of the queue winding over to where Sirius sat in the corner with one girl, carefully applying a bluish line of some substance around her eyes with a small brush and a steady hand, the tip of his tongue at the corner of his mouth. A previously empty jar sat on the table with all of Sirius' supplies, and Remus could see the shine of coins from across the room.
And on that other side of the room, almost every single Gryffindor boy sat on chairs and couches and on the floor, every so often glancing angrily at where the girls were headed. Peter and James were sitting on the floor in front of one of the armchairs by the fire, playing Exploding Snap, while Remus watched the game from his perch on the armchair. He had the best view of Sirius from where he was, and he used that to his advantage, stealing glances when he could.
"Hey, Remus!" Sirius yelled across the room at him at one point, and Remus sighed as he rolled his eyes for James' and Peter's expense and strolled over to where the other boy was standing in front of the girl with the blue stuff around her eyes. Sirius had his hand under her chin, and he tilted her face gently towards Remus. "What do you think?"
Remus nodded, grudgingly admitting to himself that the blue stuff brought out the blue of her eyes enormously. It also made her seem about three years older than she actually was, and he told her this, making her blush and smile at him and bat her eyelashes at Sirius, who kissed her on her cheek and sent her off after she dropped some coins into the jar, motioning the next girl to sit in the empty chair.
"I need an assistant," Sirius told him as he looked critically at the new girl, tilting his head and closing one eye. The girl, who was actually James' current crush, just glared back at him.
"I didn't even want to do this, but my friend Gloria blackmailed me with something," Lily Evans said then, scowling. "I have better things to do than have you try to make me look better, Black. Not that I CARE about looking better."
Sirius ignored her, and looked at Remus. "So how about it? Can you help me out?"
"Me?" Remus looked over the supplies on the table, not recognizing half of it. "I don't know anything about giving makeovers."
"You don't have to," Sirius said, studying Lily's face again. "Just hand me the stuff that I need."
Letting out a long sigh, Remus agreed, and settled down in a chair that he dragged over.
"Right, then," Sirius said happily. "Evans, you really don't need my help, you know. You've got a natural tendency to look absolutely smashing, and I better not make you too much prettier, because you've already got the attention of one of the best blokes I know. Don't want to give him too much competition." Lily flushed, but didn't lose her scowl. It was common knowledge that James Potter liked Lily Evans, but it was also common knowledge that she hated his guts. "So the only thing for you, I think, would be to add a little curl to your hair. Give it a little bounce and texture, you know?" He held out his hand to the side. "Hand me the texturing cream, please, assistant."
Remus, feeling stupid, stared at the various bottles of creamy substances. "Er..." He picked out a jar that held a pretty pink cream and handed it over. "Here."
Sirius dipped his fingers in it without looking and brought his coated hand up to Lily's hair, who was looking at it with apprehension. He stopped, though, and crinkled his nose as he brought the hand to his nose and smelled it.
"This is foot softening cream, Remus," he said, grabbing at a rag and wiping his hand with it. "You're a terrible assistant!"
Remus chuckled, standing up. As much as he wanted to hang around Sirius, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stand watching as the other boy touched all of those girls' faces while they gazed upon him with doting eyes. "Look, I think I have some homework to do. I'll learn about beauty products some other time, eh?"
And with that, and with a hurt look from Sirius, Remus stalked off.
Sirius watched his friend go, sighing. He had just been playing around; he missed spending time with his friends, and he was getting tired of the constant tittering and giggling of girls since his business had started the previous evening. Sure, it was worth it; the girls that he had helped the first night had turned heads when they walked into the Great Hall for meals, and his money jar was filling rapidly with silver and gold coins. But he missed male companionship already. How could he still keep his business alive and spend time with his friends, also?
The idea hit him when he went to bed later, lying in the warmth with the curtains of his four-poster pulled shut. Listening to the soft breathing from his dorm mates, he stared up into the darkness, excitement exploding into his stomach at the thought he just came up with. "Remus, you awake?" he whispered cautiously. He pushed his curtains aside and looked over to the other boy's bed. "Remus?"
"What is it?" came the reply, a hoarse voice laced with annoyance. Sirius sat up and padded over to the other bed, sticking his head into the slight gap in the curtains and letting his eyes adjust. He could make out his friend's head on the pillow, his hair messy and his thin lips set in a frown.
"I have an idea," Sirius told him. He climbed into the bed, sitting in the space where he pushed Remus' covered legs aside. "I should do makeovers for boys, too."
Remus opened one eye. "There's not one bloke that I can think of that would willingly be subjected to that kind of womanly torture."
"Sure there is," Sirius smiled. "You." He rushed on when Remus started to protest. "I could do it for free, you know, just to test it out and see if I could produce some adequate results, and if you turn heads, then other blokes will notice and come to me, too. Every boy wants to be a girl-magnet, right?" He noticed the hurt look on Remus' face. "Oh, it's not like you NEED a makeover, Remus. I'll have a hard enough time trying to figure out how you could look better than you already do, you know?" Remus' face softened, and he actually looked a little embarrassed. "So you'll let me do it? You'll be my guinea pig?"
Remus sighed. "If I say yes, will you let me sleep and never, ever ask me to do anything for you again?"
Sirius grinned. "Yes on the first thing, and no promises on the second. Come on, Remus, please?" He put his hand on the sheet-covered stomach, feeling the firm muscle beneath the thin cloth. He knew that Remus slept shirtless. "Pretty please?"
"Fine," Remus closed his eyes. "I'll do it. Now get off my bed."
Patting the firm stomach one more time, Sirius slid off the bed, closing the curtains with one last look at Remus, who looked peaceful and somehow happy, despite the fact that he was going to subject himself to Sirius' administrations the very next morning.
A rogue strand of light brown hair fell into Remus' eyes, and he reached up to brush it out of the way. A hand on his wrist stopped him.
"Leave it. It looks good," a hot voice whispered into his ear. Remus, feeling self-conscious and silly, felt his nervousness dissolve slightly at the proud look on Sirius' face.
Smiling back, Remus felt himself being pushed to the front of their group as they walked. It was the morning that Sirius had woken him up early to do his 'makeover', and Remus wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his bed and hide. The tight blue jeans that Sirius had come up with hugged his legs and his arse as he walked, and the black t-shirt was snug enough to show off his slightly thin but well-developed chest and shoulders. His hair, which was the biggest change, was cut from his usual chin length to about halfway down his nose, and it had a messy, straggled part instead of the neat one down the middle like he was used to. Now, it was too short to pull back, but too long to stay out of his eyes.
And when Sirius had come at him with a soft brown eyeliner pencil, he had protested to the best of his ability. "Boys don't wear makeup!" he had said vehemently as he pushed Sirius away from him, struggling to stand up.
"Some do," Sirius argued. "Look at David Bowie!"
"David who?" Remus had kicked out and accidentally hit Sirius in the shoulder. "Oops, sorry. But get off! I'm not wearing any bloody makeup!"
Sirius had pouted, argued, and pleaded until Remus had finally given in. "It'll bring out your eyes," he had said to a panting and frustrated Remus.
Resigned, Remus had just grunted in exasperation and sat, perched on the edge of a chair in their room, his eyes closed as he felt Sirius lean in close. It had been unnerving for him, having Sirius' face so close to his own, and yet unable to build up the courage to grab it and pull it close enough for a kiss.
"Just hold still," Sirius had grabbed at his jaw and rested the heel of his hand on Remus' cheek. Remus could feel the blunt edge of the pencil on the inside corner of his eyelid. He made himself stay as still as possible, matching his breathing with the other boy's, inhaling as the other boy exhaled. Sharing a breath with Sirius, Remus had ignored the tight feeling in his stomach at having to face other blokes later on. This closeness was way worth it, in his opinion.
And when Remus had looked into the mirror, the effect had been startling. His eyes seemed to be intense and more masculine than he thought possible, staring at his reflection. The image had actually howled at him, making him smile. Sirius had come behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder and looking at the both of them in the mirror, Sirius only slightly taller.
'Perfect,' Remus had thought as he stared at their reflection. 'We look so perfect together.'
When they had made their way down to the common room, James and Peter had been waiting for them, talking quietly near the portrait hole. James noticed them first, smiling, and then his mouth had dropped open at his first glance of Remus. Peter looked up, also, and his reaction had been similar to James'.
"Those jeans are entirely too tight," James complained as he raised his eyebrows, scowling at Sirius. "I can't believe you're making him wear those abominable things."
"And is that makeup?" Peter added. He furrowed his brow. "I'd say you look girly, but...you know, you really don't." He grinned, then. "Good luck, mate, though it doesn't look like you'll need it."
James had growled slightly at Remus. "As long as Evans doesn't notice you, then I'll be fine with this makeover stuff, even if every other girl in the school fawns all over you."
So with a hesitant feeling in his gut, Remus strolled into the Great Hall, watching heads glance and then stare at him as he made his way across the room to find some seats at the Gryffindor table, his three best friends flanking him. Swinging his legs over the bench next to some Third Year girl with reddish hair, he reached for the plate of kippers.
"Hi," the girl said to him, staring, her blue eyes wide. She was not wearing any makeup, and her hair was tied in a loose ponytail. Although cute, she had obviously not been one of Sirius' clients. He grinned at her, grabbing for a handful of bacon, looking up to see another girl sitting across from the first, also smiling shyly at him.
He wanted to talk to his friends, who had seated themselves around him. He especially wanted to keep up a conversation with Sirius, but the dark-haired boy had seated himself diagonally across from him, apparently tearing into his sausages as if they were going to be ripped away from him at any second. So Remus, with a sigh, turned to the two girls and introduced himself, and felt himself relax as he noticed several other girls down the table glancing at him.
It seemed as if the makeover had not been such a bad idea, after all.
Sirius' day passed slowly. The only thing he could feel as time passed was a horrible ache in his chest as he watched Remus. At first, it had started out innocently enough. Girls had started to approach his friend, introducing themselves if they had never spoken to him before, and engaging him in conversation if they had. Even though the makeover had obviously been successful, Sirius was moody and irritable by the end of the day, promising himself that he would never, ever attempt to make Remus Lupin the object of everyone's desire again. The only problem was, he couldn't figure out WHY he thought that.
It wasn't as if Remus looked THAT different. Sure, a slight change in clothes, which were only uncovered and shown at breakfast, before they went to the first class dressed in black robes like everyone else. Students were permitted to wear whatever they chose during meals, which is why Sirius had carefully picked out an outfit. The tighter clothes had made Remus seem a little less bony in the chest and legs, and a little broader in the shoulders. And the girls had noticed. Sirius watched with a lump in his throat as different girls throughout the day touched Remus' arms, chest, and thigh.
And the hair...the hair was different. Instead of being pulled back or tucked behind Remus' ears, it hung fetchingly across his forehead, the shorter length making his thin face seem a little more filled out. Sirius glared as he saw more than one girl reach up to run her fingers through the light-brown strands, brushing them out of the startled brown eyes.
Girls had seemed to love the eyeliner, and Sirius heard more than one girl comment on how Remus had 'nice eyes.' Huffing every time that the comment had been made, he studiously tried to ignore the sight of Remus smiling down at some girl who had just complimented him.
But the worst thing was that really, Remus looked pretty much the same to Sirius as he always did. A little pale, a little thin, with large brown eyes and thin lips that had a tendency to curve upwards at the corners, even when he wasn't particularly happy about something. He had a nose that turned up a little, and his face in general seemed open and friendly nearly all the time. Sirius had always thought that Remus had just as much chance of attracting attention as himself. It had always confused him when girls would fawn over him, and not look twice at his equally handsome friend.
James had been a bit put off. Lily Evans had stared admiringly at Remus like all the other girls, and once, when the four boys had rounded a corner and passed Lily and her gaggle of friends, James and Sirius had both turned to see Lily checking out Remus' arse, even though he was wearing his robes. Livid with rage, James had stomped ahead, clutching his bag tightly.
Remus, of course, just seemed flattered and surprised at all the attention. He was as polite as he usually was, looking unsure at times of what to say when some girls, like Seventh Year Melinda Godwin, asked him whether or not he'd like to accompany them to Hogsmeade the following weekend. Every time, he would just flush and say that he already had planned to be with his friends, and almost every time, the girls would have the gall to glare at James, Peter, and even Sirius, who had just the previous evening given them a makeover. His nervousness, it seemed, just endeared him even more to the doting girls.
And the approaching girls seemed never-ending. Sirius sighed, and huffed, thinking that he was jealous that his friend was attracted all of these girls. But as his irritation grew throughout the day, the real realization of his feelings snapped open inside of him, and spilled into his body and mind in a rush.
He was jealous of the girls. Touching Remus, flirting with him, taking his attention away from his friends. Away from Sirius...
And Sirius decided right then and there that no matter what, Remus' look HAD to be changed.
No more makeovers. You're all pretty enough! Be happy with yourselves as you are, Gryffindors, and buck up if you aren't. After all, none of you are unfortunate enough to look like Snape, are you? ~Sirius Black
"I don't think that went very well, today," Sirius said as the four boys finally shut the door to their room that evening, the sign secured firmly in front of the previous one. The other three boys turned to look at him questioningly.
"What didn't?" Peter asked from where he was putting his pyjamas on by his bed.
"The makeover," came the reply as the handsome dark-haired boy sat on the edge of his own bed, pulling off his shoes. He looked up just as James snorted. "What?"
"It was a hit. Girls were fainting away at the mere sight of him." He even grimaced a little. "Evans noticed him. I'd kick his arse for it, but it's really your fault, Padfoot old friend, so you might want to watch yourself tonight." Then his frown turned into a smirk. "And personally, I think someone's a little jealous of someone else's popularity." He gestured over to where Remus was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, his brow furrowed, his arms crossed over his chest.
Sirius 'hmphed' and pulled his shirt off. "I am NOT jealous of Remus." He turned to look at the boy in the doorway. "I just don't think I made that much of a difference, that's all. I could improve on it tomorrow morning."
Remus shook his head, trying to keep his gaze from drifting over Sirius' chest. "Don't worry about it. I'm going back to my old look tomorrow. You can have the admirers back." He didn't allow himself to analyze the look that Sirius gave him, and instead, he turned to go into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
He walked over to the sinks, turning one of the steel handles and splashing water on his face, rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to get the blasted eyeliner off. As he looked up into the mirror just as he heard the click of the door opening behind him, he found that he had just succeeded in smearing the brown even more. Sirius was staring at him, an odd look on his face.
"Are you mad?" the reflection of the dark-haired boy murmured, and Remus turned around, pushing the hair out of his face. "All those girls...I don't care about them. You, though, seemed to enjoy their attention very much today." He cocked his head, and Remus supposed that he looked rather canine, a warm feeling spreading through him at the thought. "I thought it was weird, how all of those girls could pay so much attention to you today. You looked no better today than you usually do, Moony."
"I DID. You did a great job. I looked different," Remus argued. "But...it just wasn't ME. I only agreed to it in the first place because-" He stopped himself, swallowing. Sirius stepped closer, and Remus felt his forehead begin to sweat.
"Because why?" Sirius was inching closer, and it was becoming hard for Remus to focus.
"Because," Remus answered, "I can't say no to you."
And Sirius smiled then, a bright smile that lightened up the room. Remus felt elated at the force of that smile hitting him, almost knocking him breathless.
"Remus..." Sirius licked his lips and stepped ever closer, his eyes boring into Remus'. "I realized something today."
"Hmm?" Remus couldn't think properly, because Sirius was only about a foot away from him, staring hotly at him, and it was all Remus could do to not move from the unnerving closeness.
"I realized that I wasn't jealous of you, attracting all of those girls."
Remus stared. "Oh?"
Sirius nodded slightly, his mouth twitching. "No, I was jealous of them."
"And why would you be-"
Remus was cut off by soft lips pressing against his own. His eyes closed of their own accord, and his arms seemed to possess minds of their own, for they clamped around Sirius' neck and drew the taller boy closer.
When Remus felt Sirius pulling back, panic rose into his chest. Did Sirius regret what he had just said? Was he having second thoughts?
"Remus," Sirius began, but Remus stopped him with a finger on his lips.
"Please don't say that you made a mistake," he said with a shaky voice. "Please don't say that you were just joking."
Sirius just stared at him, his blue eyes trailing over the pale forehead, the slightly upturned nose, and the teeth that were barely visible, biting into the thin lower lip. His gaze finally settled back up to look into the brown eyes.
"I was just going to say that I must have been blind not to notice how relieved I've always been, with girls not fawning all over you before today."
A smile stretched Remus' lips, and he felt happy and comforted in Sirius' words. "I've never minded the inattention."
"Hmm," Sirius brushed his hair back a moment before he brought his mouth back down onto Remus'.
Neither one of them heard the small click of the door, and a loud gasp and a clearing of a throat broke them apart. James and Peter both stood in the doorway, a look of shock upon the latter's face, and a smirk upon the former's.
"It's about bloody time, Sirius," said James. "Remus has been crazy about you for ages."
A jolt of surprise surged through Remus. "How did you know?"
James snorted. "Oh, come on. As many times as you huffed and glared at girls who flirted with Sirius? It was rather obvious."
"And why didn't you point out this 'obviousness' to me, then?" Sirius asked.
James shrugged. "I knew you'd get it through your thick head, eventually."
Peter seemed to slip out of his momentary coma. "I never suspected. Er...congratulations? Many happy returns?"
James clapped him on the back, laughing. "They're not getting hitched, Peter. Now come on, let's leave them some privacy."
"But I really needed to take a piss-" Peter protested, but James shoved him lightly out of the door, winking at an embarrassed Remus and an amused Sirius before closing the door behind him. Remus turned to the other boy to find that beaming smile, again.
"So you always huffed and glared, eh?" Sirius asked. Remus rolled his eyes.
"Now that you know how I've been feeling all of these years," he answered, "are you still wanting to give me a makeover, tomorrow?"
Sirius shook his head. "I don't want to, but I'll do it if you ask really nicely." He kissed Remus lightly. "But no more freebies! It's one galleon, remember?"
"How about we just snog here for a bit and call it even?"
The next day, girls did not approach Remus. They did not check him out, they did not look at him with admiring eyes, and even Lily Evans noticed how well James' Quidditch muscles were developing, though she would die before she ever admitted it out loud.
To Sirius, Remus looked as good as ever. The hair was parted down the middle, a faded gray jumper and beige trousers was peeking out from his open black robes, and no trace of eyeliner was in sight.
When girls started to fawn all over Sirius, he just grinned as he felt a slight possessiveness in the hold on his arm. During breakfast, he decided that it might be a good idea to make it VERY clear who he wanted fawning all over him. Perhaps with a kiss...
And after breakfast, girls did not approach Sirius. They did not check him out, they did not look at him with admiring eyes, and James was happily watching Lily shooting not-so-discreet looks in his direction.
Sirius' business went bust, but he wasn't upset. If his note didn't get the idea across that he was done with makeovers, then the fact that his latest subject was not attracting 'multitudes of affections from the opposite sex' did.