A Party in the Gryffindor Common Room
Random Shack in Forest Somewhere
In a rather random forest, there was a shack.
Within this shack were two vampires.
One of them was intent upon causing immense trouble for anyone and everyone.
The other was somewhat opposed to this, but he had no real choice but to go along with his friend's crazy schemes.
"I ask you again, why is Harry holding a party and inviting his arch enemy…and not the Hufflepuffs?"
Sylvan rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "How many times am I going to have to tell you, Jimmy? Because it's fun."
"And why are we going?"
"I, not we. And to cause trouble, of course."
"Why not we?"
"You can't come," Sylvan informed his companion.
His vampiric Sire, James, glared at him. "And why not, may I ask?"
"Because having two James's would be far too complicated," the blond explained.
The other man continued to glare. "So? Why don't we just call James Potter, well, Potter?"
Sylvan rolled his eyes. "Oh honestly, Jimmy!" Then he grinned. "All right, you can come. But as far as anyone is concerned, your name is Jim. Happy?"
James, now Jim, sighed. "Not particularly, but I'll survive."
"Good!" Sylvan exclaimed cheerfully. "Now, Jimmy, let's go. I want to get there before Voldie and co do."
Sighing again, Jim followed his somewhat hyped on sugar friend out of their shack and in the general direction of Hogwarts, heading towards the Gryffindor Common Room and what could quite possibly turn out to be the party of the century.
Gryffindor Common Room
Meanwhile, those who had heard Seamus's question had been left pondering the answer, and several debates had arisen.
Harry was just smirking at them all.
Seamus glared at him. "Well, what's your opinion, then?"
"Well, they wouldn't be Life Eaters, would they? More likely Life Vomiters, or Life Abstainers, or something."
"The way your mind works worries me immensely."
Harry grinned brightly. "I do but try."
Now that had been resolved, or at least discussed, Harry was left feeling that his party was beginning to lag.
Of course, he then looked around.
The majority of the normally sensible Ravenclaws were now incredibly drunk, while the Gryffindors and Slytherins weren't far off.
Two girls, one Slytherin and one Ravenclaw, had found a bottle of vodka and were drinking shots of it in quick succession, while a third girl of indeterminable House watched them in amusement.
The small group currently awaiting the arrival of Voldemort and his small group of Death Eaters, however, were still sober and standing around the unconscious body of Colin Creevey.
Harry looked down at the younger boy. He then looked up hopefully at Hermione. "Can I kick him?"
"When I choose to be, yes."
Lily was frowning in confusion. "Why do you want to kick him?"
The Slytherins and Gryffindors exchanged glances, not one of them quite willing to discuss Colin with Harry's mother – Harry least of all.
The silence was getting uncomfortable. Lily begun glaring at them all, wanting one of them to answer her question.
"What's going on?" James asked as he, Lucius, Remus, Cedric and Sirius arrived. "Lils, you're glaring holes in your son."
"I most certainly am not, James Potter! I am merely waiting for an answer."
"An answer to what?" Remus asked curiously. He immediately regretted asking as Lily turned her glare onto him.
"You taught here, Remy darling. And Cedric, you were a student here. Surely one of you can tell me."
"Tell you what?" Cedric asked warily.
"Why the hell would Harry want to kick Colin here while he's unconscious?" she demanded.
Cedric and Remus eyed the unconscious form on the ground for several minutes.
Cedric looked up. "It's…hard to explain really," he said.
While Lily's attention was on Cedric, both Remus and Harry took the opportunity to introduce a foot each to Colin's head.
Unfortunately, Hermione caught them. "Harry! Remus! What have I told you about kicking Colin?"
Harry bowed his head sheepishly. "Not to kick him in the head, and…"
"Not to kick him while he's unconscious," Remus finished guiltily.
"Colin's just…creepy," Ginny began finally. "He's oddly obsessed with Harry, and he had small scale obsessions with Remus and Cedric as well."
"And he asks the weirdest things," Harry continued. "I mean, it was bad enough when he wanted a signed photo back in my second year, especially after Lockhart showed up. But really, only last week he asked me if he could take a photo of my toenail."
"He wanted to lick a twig from my broomstick," Cedric revealed with a shudder.
All eyes turned expectantly to Remus.
Remus just stared down at Colin. "Creep," he muttered, nudging the prone form with his toe. "Wanted me to pose naked."
"He asked you that when you were a teacher?" Hermione gasped.
"Oh yes," Remus said grimly. "And when Snape revealed that I was a werewolf, he came to my office and asked if I had any werewolf fur he could photograph."
Lily also stared down at Colin. "Weird," she murmured. "Let's all move away from him."
No one moved.
There was silence.
"We're right near the drinks table," Ron said in a small voice.
Lily rolled her eyes and levitated Colin across the room, where several drunken Slytherins began using him for target practice with their bottle tops.
"That looks fun," Sirius commented. "Should do that to Wormy later."
"Speaking of, why are you five back?" Draco asked them. "I thought the torture would go on for days."
"Oh, it will," James said airily. "We just came down for a break. Figured it'd be nice to just hang out for a while…"
"You wanted some alcohol," Ginny surmised.
"Well, yes," Lucius admitted. "Torturing rats can be thirsty work."
"I'm sure," Hermione said dryly.
Hogwarts Entrance Gate
"I've just had a thought," Jim said suddenly.
Sylvan turned away from Hogwarts' gates to look at him. "Alert the press."
"Shut up, brat."
"Well, what's this groundbreaking news, then?"
Jim rolled his eyes. "You're not actually invited to this party, are you?"
"Details, details," Sylvan dismissed with a wave of his hand. "Harry knows that I'm likely to show up."
"And just how does he know that, Sylvan?" Jim asked silkily.
Sylvan suddenly looked nervous. "Jimmy, you can't go getting mad at me."
"Give me one good reason and an explanation not to."
"Well, the thing is, Harry is kind of in on the whole resurrecting people to cause trouble plan," Sylvan said hurriedly. "And you can't be mad at me because I'm taking you to a party where you can scare a bunch of teenagers and I let you make off with an outfit entirely from my wardrobe and I didn't even complain and…" he had to stop to gasp for breath, and Jim took the opportunity to place a hand over his mouth to keep him from continuing.
"Okay. I'm not mad. I'm a little annoyed you didn't let me in on it to begin with and let me help, but I'm not mad. So let's go to this party."
"Mrph mrr mrph," Sylvan agreed.
"Oops," Jim said sheepishly, removing his hand.
"All right then," Sylvan repeated.
Sometime between Jim stopping Sylvan and them continuing on their merry way, Voldemort and the Death Eaters passed them.
Dan Parkinson and Brian Avery were leading, with Voldemort on their heels. Behind him, Mel Nott and Joe Zabini were using all their self-control not to turn around and throttle the bickering Bellatrix Lestrange and Evan Rosier.
They passed the Great Hall without incident, despite Dumbledore and the majority of the other teachers currently inside eating dinner.
With help from Evan, who had been a Gryffindor, they found the Common Room quite easily and knocked.
Several seconds later, they knocked again.
Finally, after seven more knocks, the portrait opened and Harry grinned at them brightly. "Glad you lot could make it. Sorry for the delay, not only did I have to be able to hear the knock, but then I had to get across the Common Room."
This comment was entirely undecipherable until the seven of them entered the room, where they immediately understood why Harry had had so much trouble.
Between the drinks table where the group Harry had been with were standing and the entrance were most of the Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Slytherin students fifth year and up. And most of them were quite drunk.
On their way across the room, many random snatches of conversation were heard.
The most interesting of these, between a Slytherin and her friend of indeterminable House, went something like this:
"Now we've got the jelly under control, what shall we do?"
"I think we need to know when antelope season is."
"I looked it up; in the US it's in the beginning of October."
"Does that count here?"
"It can do."
"Cool. So, what shall we kill these purple antelopes with?"
"Rubber baseball bats?"
"Perhaps. I rather fancy using something pointy, myself. But that's just me."
Avery exchanged a glance with Evan. It would probably be wise to avoid those two girls in future – and the Ravenclaw standing near them chatting up an attractive Gryffindor Seventh year.
The Hufflepuff Table was full, and the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Slytherins in their first to fourth years were also present, as were most of the teachers.
And while certain Headmasters were still happily oblivious, the Heads of all four Houses, as well as Poppy Pomfrey and Amanda Hooch, were aware that something was going on.
Minerva sighed. "I don't like this. We're missing the older students of most of the Houses, plus one new professor and his wife."
"It's a recipe for trouble all right," Severus agreed grimly. "Now, I dare you all to think back to your Hogwarts days. What activity did you indulge in at least once before you graduated that you excluded the Hufflepuffs from? No offence, Anthea."
"None taken," the head of Hufflepuff said with a roll of her eyes.
"Parties," Poppy realised immediately. "The Hufflepuffs are never invited to parties."
"It's because of the whole pin the tail on the Hippogriff thing, isn't it?" Anthea sighed.
"Well, that and the fact that Hufflepuffs can't hold their alcohol," Filius said.
"So someone in one of the other Houses has invited everyone else to a party," Minerva stated. "I'd just like to state my belief that it was Harry Potter who did it – mainly because it's likely that his parents are in attendance."
"What are we going to do about it?" Amanda inquired.
"Nothing," Severus told her immediately, gaining surprised stares from his colleagues. "Well, we could always crash the party. Knowing Potter – all three of them – as well as the other students, they're bound to have some interesting ideas of entertainment."
"So who's for crashing after dinner?" Minerva inquired.
Everyone but Anthea raised his or her hand. "I'll pass. I am a Hufflepuff, after all."
"And we all know how well you hold your alcohol," Poppy added with a smirk.
Gryffindor Common Room
Once he had led Voldemort and his companions across the room, Harry left them and headed back to the entrance, where he seemed to be waiting for someone.
Lucius raised an eyebrow at his Lord in surprise. "I wasn't expecting you here, My Lord."
"And I wasn't expecting to see you, Lucius," replied an equally surprised Dark Lord. "May I ask why you are here as opposed to your Manor, where you should be torturing Wormtail?"
"To be quite honest, My Lord, were I not here, Wormtail wouldn't have been tortured nearly as much as he has been so far. James, Remus, Sirius and Cedric have been assisting me."
Voldemort smirked at the three men in question. "Hope you've been having fun. And don't worry, you can keep him for as long as he stays alive."
"Cool," Sirius commented.
"Voldie, I have something I wish to talk to you about," Lily said in a poisonously sweet voice. "Would you mind coming up to the Torture Room with me?"
A very nervous Voldemort held back a terrified squeak. "Not at all," he managed. "Lead the way."
"So, Bella," Sirius began conversationally. "You've escaped from Azkaban, I see."
"Yes," she replied. "Wasn't hard. The same vampire who resurrected Evan, Lily, James and Cedric helped me do it. Nice guy, if a little insane."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. "You spent fourteen or so years in Azkaban and you think he's a little insane?"
"I never said I wasn't. And I daresay you are as well, my dear cousin. Just a tad."
He stuck his tongue out at her. She replied in kind.
Five minutes later, Lily, James, Remus, the students and the Death Eaters were placing bets on who would win first the staring contest, and the all out wrestling match that Remus assured them was certain to follow it.
Harry was waiting.
He knew Sylvan would show up eventually, probably with James – or Jim, he supposed – in tow.
Yep, any minute now.
Vampires, of course, were known to be 'fashionably late'. Well, that had been Sylvan's excuse for tardiness for the past two hundred years, according to Jim, and it was doubtful he'd come up with another.
But even for Sylvan, this was getting beyond just tardy.
Someone knocked on the portrait.
Rolling his eyes, Harry opened it, expecting the two vampires.
Instead, he found Minerva, Severus, Poppy, Amanda and Filius.
"Professors, Madam Pomfrey, Madam Hooch…can I help you with something?"
Minerva raised an eyebrow. "We're crashing your party, Potter."
Harry grinned. "Oh, in that case, come on in. The drinks are up the back, you'll see the group of students and adults back there watching Siri and Bellatrix fighting. Have fun."
Somewhat confused, they stepped inside and headed for the drinks.
Severus stopped dead halfway there, nudging Minerva and Filius. "Who let those three have alcohol?"
"Which three?" Filius asked.
"Jennifer Aldrich, Jordyn Astra and Tora Bennett."
Minerva and Filius carefully manoeuvred themselves behind Severus.
"I'm not taking sole responsibility!" Severus protested. "Aldrich is definitely one of yours, Filius."
"Yes, but Astra and Bennett are Slytherins, Severus. You have the majority of responsibility."
"And I have none at all," Minerva said cheerfully.
"As Deputy Headmistress, you actually have some responsibility for all three of them, Minerva," Severus pointed out.
All three professors pondered the three girls in question, who seemed to be plotting someone's death.
They then gave in, joined the group at the drinks table, and secured a bottle of firewhisky.
Harry watched the distress of his professors in amusement. Admittedly, he wasn't sure that letting Jenny, Jordyn and Tora have alcohol was a good idea either, but it was still entertaining to see the teachers squirm.
Finally, there was another knock at the portrait. He pushed it open and glared at the sheepish blond vampire outside it. "You're later than late, Sylvan."
"It's not my fault," Sylvan complained. "Jimmy made me loiter."
"I bloody well did not," the black haired man complained. "You were the one who took ages to get dressed."
"Yes, because you're wearing my favourite shirt."
Jim looked down in mock surprise at the sapphire silk shirt he was wearing. "Well so I am. Get over it."
Sylvan stepped past Harry into the Common Room, tugging irritably on the sleeves of his dark red shirt. "All right, where're the drinks?"
Silently, Harry pointed. Sylvan gave him a vague salute and headed straight for the rum.
"Is everyone here, then?" Jim asked.
Harry nodded, beginning to smirk.
"Then should we get this party really started?"
"Good plan. I've always wanted to get my teachers drunk and pry out their most embarrassing secrets."
"Can I help?" Jim inquired hopefully.
"Then shall we?"
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