Oh, Baby!
Part One of Two
Author: ::Sigh:: ChibiCori, me. The Chibiest of all ChibiCori's. Not really, but Chibi
and Cori go so well together.
E-mail: kamikaze_bunny_eater@yahoo.com, you can ask or say anything you want, as long as
you e-mail!
Rating: PG to a light PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't care what ya'll say, Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and
always will! Now go sit down.

It's me again, I'm back and better then ever. This is a fun little two-part story
about the trials of Darien when our favorite little meatball head has an ::ahem::
little crisis. It's a kawaii little story and I hope ya'll enjoy it. And how many
more times can I say little? Make sure to write and tell me you love me!

Oh, Baby!
Part 1

Darien opened the door to his apartment only to be shoved by a fuming, raven-haired priestess.

"Why did you just take off this morning?!" Rei seethed as she pushed him down the
short entryway of his apartment.

"Wha-?" Darien mumbled in confusion, as he dodged Rei's next assault.

"Don't play dumb with me, Chiba!" Rei cried, planting infuriated hands on her hips,
"This morning, monster attack? You took off as soon as Sailor Moon wasted him."

"Oh, I had an early class this morning." Darien answered, touching a hand to his
abused chest.


Darien blinked as Rei began to bear down at him, ready to tear out his jugular. Darien
dove behind his couch as a measure of self-preservation as Lita, luckily for him, caught
Rei by the arm firmly.

"Relax Rei,it wasn't his fault. Everything was under control when he left." Ami soothed.

"Yeah, Rei. Serena should have been paying attention that's all." Lita added.

Darien's head immediately popped up from behind the couch, his face in sheer panic,
"Whoa, what happened? Is Serena okay? Is she hurt?"

Ami quickly stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Darien's shoulder, "No,
it's nothing serious. Serena is fine, just not entirely her whole self."

"That's an understatement." Rei grumbled, but shut her mouth when Ami shot her a disapproving glance.

"What happened?" Darien asked, getting anxious to find out what was the matter.

That's when there was a loud screech from the doorway. Darien looked over to see Mina
still lingering there, partially hidden in shadow.

"Ow! She pulled my hair! Rotten brat!" Mina cried.

Ami sighed and looked apprehensively at Darien before saying, "Brace yourself, this
is big."

Lita giggled, but Rei elbowed her in the stomach as Ami called out to Mina, "Okay, bring
her in."

Mina slowly walked in, but Darien payed little attention to her. His eyes searched out
the other blonde he kept expecting to walk through the door at any moment. When she
didn't come, his insides rolled sourly and he almost dashed to the doorway to see if
Serena was just hanging back. But a light, happy gurgle stopped him in his tracks.
He looked down at Mina, who held a baby in her arms.

"Mina, why do you have a baby?" he asked, puzzled at the odd sight.

Mina rolled her eyes and spat out, "Guess."

"Darien, take a really good look at her." Ami gently instructed.

Darien looked at the two of them incredulously, then looked down at the baby. What he
saw made him do a double-take and bend down to peer directly into wide, blue eyes.
Blond curls graced the top of her head and she smiled at him, causing a very
familiar sensation to run through him.

"Serena?" he whispered in shock and the baby giggled and stuck her little, pink tongue
out at him.

"It's Serena." Ami stated as Darien straightened out and raked a hand through his dark

"What happened?" Darien found himself asking for the third time.

"We were attacked by another demon. She grabbed Serena and turned her into a baby."

Darien shook his head in shock, "Wait, I thought that Sailor Moon had taken care of
the demon?"

Rei, finally calm, pulled from Lita's hold and answered, "She did. The first one.
Turns out there was a second behind the bushes. Lucky for us, she was weakened by
changing Sailor Moon, so we were able to defeat her alone."

Darien released a long breath then flopped down on his couch and put his face into
his hands, "So, Serena is going to be like this for how long?"

Ami quickly relieved any fear of permanence by answering, "I scanned her with my
computer and the effects should last only a few days, probably just the weekend in
fact. Which brings us to why we're here."

When the girls paused for a moment instead of getting straight to the point,
Darien instantly felt doom looming over him, "Which is?"

Ami hesitated only another second, "Well, she definitely can't go home the way she is, so
we thought maybe you could-"

"Oh no, you're not suggesting that I take care of Serena!" Darien sputtered in protest.

"And why not!?" Rei asked, her temper rising again.

"Because I-" Darien began to explain, but was promptly interrupted.

"You're not busy." Lita said, guessing the direction of his excuse.

"How would you-"

"Because Serena told us all about her plans to monopolize your weekend." Lita explained.

"Well, why can't any of you-"

Darien was again shot down by the rapid fire of their words;

"Computer camp."

"Volleyball practices."

"Back-to-back cooking workshops."

"Holiday at the temple."

'Okay, let's try another angle.' "I don't have any experience-"

"And you did such a nice job with little Jordan that one time." Ami cooed,
immediately squashing that argument.

Mina was the one who decimated any fight left in him when she lifted baby Serena to
Darien's face, "Besides, who can resist this adowable wittle face?"

And as if to throw in her hat, Serena reached up with chubby little digits to explore
his face in infant curiosity. Sparkling blue eyes looked into his with impish innocence
and pink cheeks plumped up as she turned up the corners of her mouth in an adorable,
little smile.

Darien melted in a big puddle of goo, "No one."

Suddenly, there was a pile of baby clothes, diapers and formula at his feet, a
giggling blond baby promptly thrown into his arms. Ami's voice trailed through the
doorway and down the hall, "Thank you Darien. Everything you need is in the bags. We
told her parents she was staying with Rei to help at the temple. Emergency numbers are
in the diaper bag!"

And then there was one, well, technically, one and a half. Or maybe a fourth. Darien
could almost see a cloud of dust settling after their run to the door. He blinked
in amazement, then looked down at Serena, who was grabbing fistfuls of shirt and trying
to stand in his arms.

"They sure were in a hurry. They seemed, almost, scared." Darien observed.

He was answered with a merry gurgle bubbling up from Serena. Darien took in the
mischievous glint of Serena's eyes. 'Uh-oh.'

"Serena." Darien stated warily as he lifted her up so she was face to baby-face with
him, "You are going to behave, aren't you?"

All he got was another giggle.

Darien flopped down on his couch, planting Serena firmly on his lap, "Why do I feel like
I'm going to regret this?"

^_~ ^_~ ^_~ ^_~ ^_~

Darien was carefully measuring out baby formula later that day when Serena's wails
filled his apartment. Darien's heart leapt into his throat and he jumped over the
counter and into the living room, where Serena sat, eyes teary and face red. He
immediately took in the bump on her head and judging from her position by the coffee
table, he assumed she had been crawling and bumped her head on it. He smiled and
gently picked Serena up, patting her back lightly and whispering soft "shh"s into her

"It's okay. It's just a little bump." He told her, but saw she was in no placated. He
bent a gentle kiss to the bump and then stated, "There, I kissed it all better."

To his amazement, Serena stopped crying and looked at him through dewy eyelashes in
awe. She then further mystified him when she smiled bashfully and rolled her head onto
his shoulder, resting it there happily. Her fingers curled over the collar of his shirt
and tugged at it lightly as the other fisted up on his shoulder next to her nose.

Darien smiled and sighed, accepting he was stuck like that for a while. She would
only start crying again if he put her down. Darien went back to fixing up bottles
and putting away baby things with Serena sucking her thumb on his shoulder. He finally
put her down when time came to put up the playpen the girls had brought him.

"Where did the girls find all this stuff in such short notice? Aren't they all
only children?" Darien grumbled as he pulled out the various plastic and teddy bear
covered accessories.

Serena just laughed as she occupied herself with an old rattle he had given her. It
had immediately ended up in her mouth.

The door bell rang while Darien was still trying to put up the playpen. Casting a
final curse at it, Darien went to answer it, making sure Serena was out of harms way
first. He had only been watching her for a couple hours and he was already exhausted.

He didn't know whether to sigh in relief or gasp in horror when he opened the door. It
was Rini, caring all sorts of baby entertainment with her. So now he had a baby Serena
to look after and his just barely out of diapers herself daughter from the future too.
He suddenly felt very old.

"Hey Darien! I came to help with Serena!" Rini announced, pushing past him, her
eyes seeking something.

"That's very nice of you Rini, but I think I can handle this myself." Darien explained.

Rini rolled her eyes and put the box she was carrying down, planting determined hands on
her hips, "We're talking about Serena here. And I don't care whether she is a baby or
not, she'll still be too much for one person to handle."

Darien tried to smother a chuckle then nodded his consent. It was obvious she was there
to help. Of course, that didn't mean that chaos would not soon follow her help, but
he couldn't deny a helping hand.

Serena suddenly let loose a lusty wail from his bedroom and Darien found himself
again, dashing to the rescue. He would always rescue her, whether there was danger or

When Darien found her, he picked her up and noticed a new bruise had joined the first on
her head, "She must have bumped her head on the bed frame. You wouldn't happen to
know anything about baby-proofing this place, would you?"

His question had been directed to Rini, who had followed him to the bedroom. Rini shook
her head and then narrowed her eyes as Darien planted a kiss on Serena's new boo-
boo. Serena instantly quieted and squirmed to be let down. Darien whisteled
thankfully that she didn't make herself comfortable like last time. He took her into
the living room and put her on the blanket he had laid out for her. Serena began to immediately scoot around on the pink surface. Darien noted that it had to be an old
blanket of Serena's, it was pink and had little bunnies on it looking up at the man-in-the-moon.

"Could you watch her while I finish with the playpen." Darien asked.

Rini nodded reluctantly, then shrugged and added happily, "Sure, I can read to her from
my new book."

"If you can get her to stay still long enough, go for it." Darien replied as he went back
to his room to curse at the playpen until it had erected itself magically.

Rini dragged her box over to the blanket that Serena had begun to knaw on. She
rummaged through it until she found the book and pulled it out. When she finally looked
up at Serena, she found the blond baby had disappeared. Rini momentarily panicked, then
she heard coos from behind the couch. Rini peeked over the back and zeroed in on
baby Serena scooting towards the room Darien had gone into.

"Aha! I knew you were still after him!" Rini cried, then jumped over the back of the
couch to catch up Serena and take her back to the blanket.

Serena didn't like this at all. Her face screwed up and fat tears began to roll down
her cheeks, but Rini wasn't swayed.

"Listen Serena, you need to just accept the fact you are a baby right now and can't
have Darien. He's mine for the whole weekend." Rini pointed out matter-of-factly.

Serena paused for a moment and looked at Rini with what she could have sworn was a
glimmer of devilment in her eyes, before Serena took a deep breath and released an
eardrum shattering cry.

Darien was in the living room in the blink of an eye, looking down at Serena and Rini
in panic, "What happened?"

"Nothing, she just started crying." Rini shrugged, "Babies do that you know."

"But not for no reason. Maybe she's hungry."

Rini was up in an instant, "I'll take care of it, you go back to work."

"Are you sure?" Darien asked uncertainly, but began to move back towards the door.

"Yep. I can take care of Serena, I promise."

"Okay, I'll be just in here if you need me." Darien consented as he disappeared back
into the room.

Rini's smile disappeared as she took a bottle out of the fridge and put it in the
microwave to heat up, "I know what you are up to Serena, and it isn't going to work."
The microwave beeped and Rini took the bottle out and splashed a few drops on her wrist
to make sure it wasn't too hot, "And I'm not going to let you take up all Darien's
time. That's the only reason I came over, to make sure you don't bother Darien too

But it seemed she had been lecturing no one as she returned to the living room to find
it empty.

"Serena?" she called out, quietly so Darien wouldn't know she lost the baby.

But it was too late, "Rini!"

Rini peeked her head in the room and replied meekly, "Yes, Darien?"

"Missing something?" Darien asked as he pointed behind him.

Rini looked over his shoulder to find Serena sitting next to him, chewing on her

"Serena! That's my book!" Rini scolded, running into the room and tearing the book
away from Serena's slobbery hold. Serena, of course, began to cry.

"Rini, you made her cry!"

Rini held the offended book to her chest and protested, "Well, she was using my new book
as a chew toy!"

"She's just a baby, Rini." Darien pointed out as he took Serena into his arms in an
attempt to soothe.

"That's what she want's you to think." Rini grumbled, then said louder for Darien to
hear, "Sorry about losing her, I'll take her back to living room now."

"She can stay. I think she likes it here." Darien smiled as Serena babbled some nonsense baby words and played with the netting of the pen.

"I bet." Rini mumbled again then offered, "Okay, I'll go get her stuff so she won't
bother you. Be right back."

But keeping baby Serena out of Darien's hair seemed to be an impossible task. She
kept crawling away to join Darien. Rini soon tired of dragging Serena back to the
blanket and sat on Darien's bed, grumpily reading her soggy book as Serena sat in
Darien's lap, clapping merrily.

Darien, meanwhile, was not having as much fun, "How does this dumb thing go together?"

"Why don't you read the directions?" Rini asked from her perch on the bed.

"Because they won't help. And they're all in Japanese." Darien told her, tossing the
parts down, startling Serena.

Rini sighed, then jumped down from the bed, "Move aside. Geesh, boys."

Darien hesitantly stood up, picking up Serena with him, as Rini looked over the
instructions and then began to adeptly put together the playpen. Instead of watching a
10 year-old embarrass him, Darien left the room. He sat down on the couch and sighed
with contentment as his spine slumped into the cushions. Serena propped her hands on
his shoulders and wobbly, stood, surprising him.

"Hey, you can stand!" Darien exclaimed, "What else can you do?"

Kneeling in front of the sofa, Darien took Serena's tiny hands in his, he walked her to
the end of the couch. She took each step slowly and her legs were unsteady, a sign that
she wouldn't be able to walk alone yet. When they got to the end of the couch,
Darien grabbed her up and lifted her above his head.

"Look at you! You walked! Well, kinda, but you still made steps!" Darien cried
out joyfully.

Rini entered the room then, dusting her hands and announced proudly, "All done!"

"Hey Rini, Serena can stand up! Did you know that?" Darien asked enthusiastically.

Rini's eyes narrowed and she shook her head menacingly, "No, I didn't Darien."

"Oh, well. It isn't that big of a deal." Darien gulped nervously. He knew far to
well where this was heading, "So, how did you get that thing together?"

"There was a picture on the back of the instructions that told you where everything
goes." Rini smiled, crossing her arms at Darien smugly.

"Oh." Darien answered shortly, turning red.

"So, what have you two been up to?" Rini asked sweetly, a little too sweetly. Darien
arched a brow at her and then smiled, 'Some things will never change?'

"Just practicing at being a daddy." He mused.

Rini blushed and then cooed, "Oh, you don't have to. You are a great daddy!"

"And what about Serena?"

"She's just a baby." Rini pointed out, slyly dodging the question.

Darien sighed and put Serena down, allowing her to crawl as she pleased. He watched as
she scooted across his floor, staring curiously at the things around her. It was funny,
but Serena seemed to hold on to all that childlike awe into her adolescent years. Darien
hoped she kept them into her golden years too. She still smiled easily, and she had the
same pretty eyes that looked on everything with wonder and joy. And when Serena's wails
broke his train of thought, Darien wryly took note that she still cried the same.

Darien quickly bent to pick her up and noticed that a third little bump had joined the
previous two, "That's it. I'm going to cover this entire room in rubber!" he then bent
a kiss to her bump and Serena sighed and snuggled close to him.

"She did that on purpose!" Rini suddenly cried.

Darien looked at the little, pink-haired girl who sat next to him, who was glaring at
Serena in disbelief, "No she didn't, Rini, babies bump their heads all the time."

"Not this time, she did it on purpose! So you would kiss her!" Rini fumed,
pointing accusingly at Serena.

Darien lowered his brows and spoke to Rini with a firm tone, "Rini, don't you think it is
a little silly for you to be continuing this feud with Serena at this moment? She's just
a baby, she doesn't know what she is doing. And furthermore, I am tired of being you
and Serena's tug-of-war rope-Uh oh."

Rini, who had been looking up at him with shame-reddend face started as he stopped his
rant, "What?"

Darien grimaced as he held Serena at arms length, "I think someone needs a change."

Rini took an experimental sniff and immediately pulled back in disgust, "Whatever
formula the girls gave you for her, don't use it anymore."

"Here, you change her." Darien said, holding Serena and her poopy diaper towards

"Uh uh, no way! You do it!" Rini cried, waving her hands in front of her to war off
the offending infant.

"I can't."

"Why not?!"

Darien blushed a bright red, then answered, "Because she's my girlfriend, I cannot
just change my girlfriends diaper."

"Darien, don't be dumb. She's a baby, she doesn't care if you see her naked!"
Rini exclaimed.

"This from a girl who just claimed a baby purposely rammed her head into a coffee table
to get a kiss. Did she do this on purpose too?" Darien asked dryly.

"I wouldn't put it past her." Rini answered just as dryly then flashed a naked wrist
in front of her eyes, "Oh, look at the time. Better get going or Irene-mama will
get worried about me!"


But in a flash of pink, Rini had grabbed her stuff and was out the door. Darien stared
at Serena, who was looking mighty uncomfortable at the moment and sighed in defeat.
But when Rini's head popped through the doorway, hope quickly lit in his heart. Then
was immediately snuffed out when Rini called in, "Bye Darien, hope Serena gets better
soon. I like it better when she isn't smaller then me."

Then the door shut and there was one and a fourth again. Darien looked at Serena
in desperation. Then he watched as her face screwed up, her skin brightened to a tomato
red and tears began to curl up in unhappy blue eyes. Her mouth opened and an
accompanying wail erupted from her.


Darien cringed as he wondered at how something so small could make so much noise.
He grabbed up a blanket and laid it over the counter of his breakfast bar, then grabbed
up the diaper bag. Laying Serena down on the blanket, he unsnapped the fastenings of
her jumper and then hesitated at the diaper.

"She is just a baby, she is just a baby, she is just a baby." Darien chanted as lifted
the tape of the diaper.

And though the chant gave him a false bravado to attempt, Darien quickly turned his
head when it came to taking it off. The smell became worse and Darien quickly rolled
up the stinky diaper and threw it in the trash.

'Okay, what now? You have to be able to see to put the diaper on.' Darien closed his
eyes tight as he turned back to Serena, who was softly cooing on the counter. 'She is
just a baby, she is just a baby.' Darien pulled a fresh diaper from the bag, along with
the baby wipes and rash cream. 'She'sjustbaby,she'sjustababy,she'sjustababy.'

"Okay Serena, there is nothing personal about this. I'm just going to change your
diaper and then we'll both be a lot happier." Darien explained to his infantized
girlfriend on the counter. Serena merely giggled and grabbed her foot, pulling it to
her mouth. Darien instantly felt at ease with the movement. 'She's just a baby.'

The diaper was quickly put on with all the trimmings that went with it. Darien
wearily looked at the clock which read 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock and he was ready to crash.
He sighed as he picked up Serena and took her to his room. Rini had done a great job
with the play pen. Turning on the light, he noticed she had left the book Serena had
been chewing on in the pen, accompanied by a note. Darien picked up both as he put Serena down in the play pen. He opened the note and read softly to himself;

Since Serena seemed to like the book so much, here's a bedtime story for her. You
were always the best at bedtime stories, Mommy always said so.


Darien smiled softly and sat down next to the play pen, where Serena sat, looking up at
him in interest. He reached in and laid her down, putting the old,
pink, bunnies-looking-at-the-man-in-the-moon blanket over her. Looking at the glossy
cover, Darien read the title out loud to his little bunny child.

"East o'the Sun, West o'the Moon. Once upon a time, there was a lonely white bear
who wondered the countryside. One day he fell in love with a beautiful peasant

Darien continued to read about the white bear and peasant girl's journey, until finally
they were reunited and the white bear was free of his curse and became a prince again.
When he finished, he looked down at Serena, who now slept peacefully in her makeshift
crib. Darien lowered a gentle hand to move a blond curl from her forehead and rested
his chin on the play pen, a soft smile crossing his face as he thought silently
about something, then whispered the after thought aloud, "And you only get prettier as
you grow."

Standing, Darien put the book on his endtable and quietly changed into some
pajamas. Getting into his bed, Darien sighed and placed his forearm over his eyes,
his body sighed with him at the chance to relax into the mattress. Rolling over, he
gave Serena one quick look before he fell into an exhausted sleep.

Jess-chan! You rule! And to my editor, Call-chan! Thanks, I can get used to this.
Heh heh. And don't forget to write me! Kamikaze_bunny_eater@yahoo.com

Muchos Smoochos

PS; The book, "East o'the Sun, West o'the Moon" is real. I suggest the adaptation
by P.J. Lynch. The pictures are really great in that one. Go check it out!