There's a little more physical action in this story than you normally get in the original show. It's necessary, though. It's set a few months from now, during S14 L&O, S5 AtS, and S8 BtVS.

---

Chaos & Disorder
Eric Jablow

Ripped from the headlines--of the National Enquirer and the Weekly World News--

"In the Criminal Justice System the people are represented by
two separate, yet equally important groups. The police who
investigate crime and the District Attorneys who prosecute
the offenders. These are their stories?"

---

"I'll sweep out the playground."

"Aw, the kids will like the leaves."

"That's what I'm afraid of, Connie. Put up some coffee, alright?"

"Of course, Eva."

Connie goes off into a side office, while Eva grabs a broom from a closet. Eva then walks through a corridor; childish drawings and posters covered the walls. She opens a outside door; there are metal dinosaurs on springs, a couple of swings, and a sliding pond. Red and brown leaves covers the ground, and she goes through.

"Connie! Consuela! Come quick!"

Consuela runs out and joins Eva, and they look at a dead body sprawled on the playground floor.

---

[The Jane Jacobs Montessori School, 1105 East 3rd Street.]

"Dead bodies at schools, I'm almost used to. At elementary schools, I'm not."

"When I grew up, all I had to worry about were the nuns and their rulers."

Detectives Lennie Briscoe and Ed Green are escorted through the school by a uniformed cop.

"So, whadda we have here?"

"Young male, mid-20's, found here by the school principal at 6:10. Must have been here for a few hours."

"Any witnesses?"

"Haven't found anyone."

"You won't in Alphabet City."

"Anyhow, Detective, it looks like the vic and the perp climbed over the fence, and the perp smashed his head into the wall. No ID; looks like the wallet was stolen. No sign of forced entry."

"I see. That spot there with the stain. Thanks. Is that the principal?"

The woman stepped forward. "I'm Eva Sansonov, director of this school."

"I'm Detective Briscoe,"

"And I'm Detective Green. What happened?"

"Connie--Consuela Diaz Gabriel--and I came in early to sweep up the yard after the weekend; I sent her to make coffee while I started."

"You don't have a janitor?"

"Look--can anyone here afford a janitor?"

"Sorry. Go on."

"I opened the door, went out to sweep up a bit, and I smelled something strange. I turned, and there he was."

"Did you touch anything, Ms. Sansonov?"

"No, of course not. I called Connie, and she called you."

"Do you recognize the victim?"

"No. I have no idea what he's doing here."

"Well, decomposing."

"You really have to stop saying things like that, partner."

"Look, it's callous of me, but how long will this take? I've got 30 kids in there."

"You didn't cancel school today?"

"And who would take care of the kids? Look, I have to prepare the classrooms and figure out what to do."

"We'll work as fast as we can. Go pull the shades down."

Eva Sansonov walked off.

Lonnie turns to the uniformed cop: "Make sure you get pictures of everything. Footprints. And, take pictures of the wall there."

Ed turns to Lennie. "You know, something's missing here."

"Yeah. Lots of wounds, but there's not enough blood."

"You think the body was brought here?"

"Would you carry a dead body over that fence?"

---

Detective Briscoe is in the Homicide Squad room at the station house when Lieutenant Van Buren walks in.

"So, what do you have so far?"

"A Hispanic male, early 20's, found dead at a preschool on East 3rd. He was in a fight; there were defensive wounds on his arms. The guess is that he was killed around 2am."

"Don't guess."

"Anyhow, no wallet or other ID; we're tracking down fingerprints now. Looks like the assailant bashed his head against the brick wall."

"Anything to do with the school?"

"We doubt that. No sign of forced entry; looks like they climbed over the fence. The school director and the other teachers didn't recognize the body."

"Could it have been a dump job?"

"I wouldn't want to carry a body over that fence."

Ed Green joins them; he reads from a folder.

"Enrique Amos, age 23. Two arrests in 1999 for turnstile-jumping, and one for vandalism in 2000, diverted to community service."

"An upstanding young citizen."

"Let me guess; subway graffiti?"

"Scratchiti. He did his 40 hours, and we've had no further contact."

"Does he have an address? And, was there a group he associated with in the bad old days?"

"He's in the phone book. I have some contacts here."

"See the medical examiner, then check out his home. Then, talk to his old friends. See if he's been involved again."

"Yes, Lieutenant."

---

[Office of the Medical Examiner, Lab 17, Dr. Carol Needleman]

"Hey, doc. What's up?"

"Detective Briscoe. If I knew you were coming, I would have baked something."

"You're a sweetheart. What about Enrique there?"

"Well, up until between 1:30am and 2:30am, he was a disgustingly healthy young male. No drug use I could see, no infectious diseases, zip. A few old abrasions and leg bruises; with that body type, I'd guess he rode a bike."

"Well, that would lead to the bruises--maniacs," said Detective Green.

"Was the head wound the cause of death?"

"That's the funny thing, Detective. It wasn't. Head wounds usually bleed like a stuck pig; all we got from here was a little oozing. The pictures show just a little spot on the brick wall and on the ground where he lay. No, he was already dead."

"We noticed that there wasn't much blood at the scene."

"Yes, he was a couple of quarts low."

"Reminds me of what my first ex tried to do to me."

"Well, we have defense wounds on both arms, but they didn't bleed much. I'd say that it was the wounds to the neck that did it. Come here."

Detective Green looks at the the victim's neck and whistles.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were in a bad Halloween film."

"Thinking 'Blacula'?"

"You've seen that?"

"On the late late late show."

"From the bruising and other damage here, I'd say that this was the fatal wound. Notice that the lines aren't clean, not like a barbecue fork."

"Could this be a sexual thing, Doctor?"

"Sex crimes often involve biting, but I just don't know. Finally, look at this." The doctor took a flashlight with a tinted cover and played it over the victim's left hand. Some invisible ink glowed. "Can you make it out?"

"Looks like a metal bar and the word 'Brass'."

"Probably a nightclub of some sort."

"Thanks, Doc."

---

[Apartment of Enrique Amos, 7821 Jones Street, Apt. 1302]

The apartment is moderate-sized, and somewhat dumpy. It's a typical rent-controlled apartment. Two uniformed policemen are looking at pictures on the walls; they do not look at the three people in the center of the room. A man sits on a couch, his head in his hands. He's tall and white, wearing a college student's typical jeans and a Cooper Union sweatshirt. A couple of Gristede's grocery bags sit by his side. Briscoe and Green stand above him, and Briscoe asks gently, "Mr. Beyer, how did you know Enrique?"

"I sort of inherited this apartment last year. I needed a roommate, so I took out an ad in the Voice. Enrique was looking for a place, and I liked him. We didn't bother each other much; he went to Stratton Commercial Art School in the evenings and paid for it on his bike. I went to CU during the day, and worked at Marlowe Books in the evenings. If our schedules overlapped more, we might have had problems, I don't know. But, we were cool. I can't believe he's dead. How did it happen?"

"It looks like he was mugged, but we can't be sure. We need to ask some questions," said Detective Briscoe.

"When did you see Enrique last, Richard?"

"Yesterday, around 9am. Gwen and I went to a friend's birthday party on Long Island."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Then we took the train back, and--you know." Green nodded, and Richard continued, "I went to class straight from her place, and I got back here around an hour ago. Thing is--" Richard looks puzzled, and Briscoe prompts him. "--his bike was still here. That's not like him; he doesn't take any days off. I know he went clubbing last night; I thought he might have gotten lucky, but it's still strange."

Briscoe then asked, "Richard--we know that Enrique had a record. Do you have any knowledge of him going back to graffiti writing?"

"You've got to be kidding. He gave that up 3 years ago. We joked about it. I wasn't a model kid myself either." Richard raised two fingers to his mouth and mimed puffing on a joint. "We both grew up. Now he never will."

---

[The Brass, 11313 Great Jones Street]

"The Lieutenant finally got a hold of Enrique's sister. What a job."

"Not one I'd have liked doing," replies Lennie Briscoe. "The Brass Club. Get your earplugs." The two of them walk up to and past the front of the line waiting to get in. It looks like a family-friendly place; there are 16-year-olds and 30-year-olds waiting.

"Hey! You can't just walk through here like that," said the bouncer.

Ed Green pulls out his badge and says, "Do you see this discount coupon?" The detectives go through the door and walk straight toward the bar. The place is pretty full; there is a dance floor, and a dining area. A bunch of Goths are at a pool table; an attendant points to the felt and says, "Yo! Watch the spikes." A band plays something arty.

The bartender sees them and turns away from a customer to greet them. They flash their ID cards, and the bartender signals to the cashier. "Officers. How can I help you?" Lennie is about to ask something when Ed points back toward the stage and says, "Hey--are they any good?" "Oh, they're just Avenue C Whiners." "Nice description," says Lennie. "No, no. That's their name."

"Oh. Were you working here last night?" asks Lennie.

"No. I just work Monday through Friday. The manager can help you." He waves toward a man in his 40s walking from the kitchen. The detectives turn toward him, and he introduces himself.

"Hello, detectives. Stark Newfeld. I'm the manager on duty tonight." "Lennie Briscoe." "Ed Green."

Lennie started off by asking, "Were you here at the Brass Club last night?"

"Yeah. And it's just the Brass. No 'Club'. We're the newest member of a chain. 'L'Invar' in Montreal, 'The Pewter' in New Orleans, and 'The Stainless' in Chicago. Oh, and there was 'The Bronze' in Sunnydale, California, but that was destroyed in May's earthquake."

"Oh. Did you use this stamp last night?" Ed shows him a photograph.

"Yes. We used that for the adult patrons. What happened?"

"Do you remember this man?" Ed hands him a second photograph.

"I'm not sure. Hey, Carlie!" He waves to a purple-haired waitress; she walks to the trio. "Did you serve this guy last night?"

"Yeah. He was at the pool tables for a while, then a girl greets him, and they get a table. Must have been chatting for a couple of hours. Good tipper."

"He was?"

"She was. Credit card. Don't remember when they left.

"Could you look it up? We really need to know."

Newfeld said, "That could take us a while. What's going on?"

"We really need to know."

"Ed, do you think they're serving alcohol to minors here?"

"We're very careful. We never do--damn."

"It's for the public good."

"We'll go over the receipts."

---

[Apartment of Corazon Nieves, 43288 Astor Place]

"Corazon Nieves, age 22. One arrest for graffiti, 2000. Diverted to community service."

"The same time as our Enrique, I guess," says Ed Green.

"Got it in one."

"So, Enrique goes clubbing, an old friend shows up, they chat until 11:30, and head back to her place."

"I don't think so. Why would he leave in the middle of the night?"

"Well, what would they do? Go to another club?"

"Perhaps they bought some spray paint?"

"And she kills him?"

They walk up to the front of the apartment building, and follow a resident in. They walk up some stairs, and arrive at Apartment 2B. Ed knocks.

"Yes?"

"Corazon Nieves, can we come in?" Lennie holds his ID card up to the peephole.

"I guess." Corazon unlocks the door, and the detectives come in.

"Did you meet an Enrique Amos last night at the Brass?"

"Yes. Si. Is anything wrong?"

"Miss Nieves, I'm sorry, but--"

"¡No!"

---

It's a few minutes later. Corazon Nieves is sitting on he couch, clutching a tea cup to her chest. Tears fall down her face.

Ed Green says, "So, you got to the Brass at 9pm."

"It's the new club. I was curious."

"And you saw Enrique at the playing pool."

"We hadn't seen each other for 2 years. Not since we finished our community service. I was--embarassed. I guess he was too. But it was nice to see him again."

"So, you talked from 9:30 to 11:30."

"Si. We had a lot to catch up about. How did you know?"

"Credit cards are wonderful things, Ms. Nieves," says Lennie. "You paid."

"I make more than he does. Did." She stops for a moment. "I'm a receptionist at Brill, King, Goffin, and Spectar."

"Where did you go next?"

"He walked me back here, asked if he could come up, and I said no."

"No?"

"It's 2003. I should have let him up, though. He'd still be alive."

Lennie and Ed get up and walk to the door, and Lennie turns around. "Do you know where he went afterwards?"

"I think he was going for a slice of pizza."

---

"You believe her?"

"I don't see her as the killer. Now we have to check out the pizze rias. I hope he'd been heading straight home."

---

[The Homicide Room]

Lennie and Ed look bleary-eyed; both of them guzzle large cups of coffee. Lt. Van Buren comes into the room, and Lennie reports their lack of progress.

"We have Enrique spotted by himself at Joe's Original Famous Pizzeria on East 5th at 12:45am Monday morning. He leaves Corazon Nieves' building at midnight, gets to the pizza place at 12;15, scarfs up 3 slices, and leaves by himself."

"A growing boy."

"The cycling, I guess. We showed his photo to all the late-night stands along the way to his apartment, but no one recognized him. The crime scene is one block off his route back; we don't know how or why he got there."

"Find out. Get some uniformeds and canvass the route again. Somebody had to see him; this is the city that never sleeps."

Lennie mimes a yawn, and grabs some papers from his desk. Ed's phone rings, he picks it up, listens, and hangs up. "We've got another one, partner."

---

[A ball field, off the East River.]

A body is slumped against a tree; photographers are recording the area, and a few uniformed cops have set up a perimeter. Lennie and Ed talk to the sergeant in charge.

"When?"

"We got the call at 0718. A bird-watcher was walking down the jogging path; he stopped, cleaned his binoculars, and just looked in this direction." The sergeant points to a man sitting on a park bench 50 yards away. "He saw the vic, saw the blood-stained shirt, and called us on his cell phone."

"Thanks." They walk to the body, and Ed whistles. "I'm going to have to rent that movie, partner." The body looks like that of a homeless person, and the only wound is on the neck, though there's more blood this time.

---

[Office of the Medical Examiner, Lab 17, Dr. Carol Needleman]

"Lennie, Ed. I can get a fourth for bridge if you want."

"We're on the clock, Doc."

"I'm more of a poker guy," says Ed. "Any relation? Or do we have more than one killer?"

"Well, our John Doe here died around 1am--the blood loss did it. This time, there aren't any defense wounds; I'm guessing Doe was drunk and asleep when he was killed. Doe wasn't healthy; he had cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis. He must not have been clotting very well."

"So, when he was cut, blood sprayed around."

"And, look at this." Dr. Needleman flicks on a lighted display mounted on the wall. Two pictures are side by side; each shows wounds to a man's neck, and they are very similar.

"It looks like exactly the same pattern and technique. Find this guy; he's beginning to turn me off."

"Love bites, Doc?"

"Off you go."

---

[The Homicide Room]

"The John Doe's a Richard Raymond, age 60, 23 arrests for public drunkenness. I don't think Enrique and Richard have anything in common."

"No, Lennie. I think we are officially stuck."

"Well, don't be." Lt. Van Buren walks into the room holding the afternoon New York Post. The headline reads VAMPIRE KILLER STRIKES AGAIN.

"Rupert Murdoch strikes again."

"If I ever find the source, somebody will be walking a beat on the Fountain Avenue landfill. Now, you've gotten nowhere with Enrique, and Richard's a bust. So, go back to the school and see if there's a connection there."

---

[The Jane Jacobs Montessori School.]

"I don't see why you need to speak with all the teachers here."

"Ms. Sansonov, we're trying to see if there is any connection between Enrique Amos' murder and this school."

"We're running on fumes here, ma'am," says Ed.

"All right. Try not to disturb the children."

---

"Zip. Nada. Nothing here."

"No clue, partner. We just have one name left; Helene Garda," says Ed. They are in a school hallway; an 8-year-old girl holds a hall pass and walks by them. She stops, and says, "Miss Garda?"

"You know her?"

The girl looks sad. "She was my teacher last year. She died in August."

"Do you know how she died?"

"They told us that she was murdered."

--- [The Homicide Room]

It's dark outside. The detectives are at their desks looking at large folders.

"Helene Garda, age 28, died August 17, in her apartment. Multiple stab wounds. Still unsolved."

"Right. I was on vacation then. You?" said Ed.

"Off fishing. I guess they didn't find anything. Something's just a little strange. I hope there's a connection, but I have no idea what. Chinese?" The phone rings, and Lennie picks it up. "The Birchmere Hotel? First and East 6th? We'll be there in 10 minutes."

---

[The Birchmere Hotel, 666 First Avenue]

Lennie and Ed stand outside a hotel room. Paramedics are patching up a man on a gurney next to the bed, photographers are filming the scene, and a lab technician is trying to lift prints off the door knob. The medics wheel the man on the gurney out, and Lennie stops them.

"What happened,"

"Phillip. F.X. O'Brian."

"What happened, Phil."

"I'm dancing with this--ouch!--girl at this club on Great Jones Street, we're getting along well, and I invite her here. She comes up with me, and we're having fun, and then she bites me. Hard! I try to push her away, and then I hear her scream. She jumps off me, and runs out of the room."

"You just pushed her?"

"Yeah." He mimes trying to push her head off his neck. A ring glints on his finger. He then falls back onto the gurney, shuddering.

The medics begin to wheel him away, when he says, "You know, I thought I saw a wisp of smoke from her jaw where I touched her. Right here. My ring touched her."

"Your ring?" Ed looks at his ring finger. "Fordham School ring, class of 1995. A good Jesuit school."

"I'm not the best of Catholics." His head slumps to the gurney, and they speed him off.

"Give, partner."

"You know, I could almost believe this is a 'Dracula' movie. That ring had a cross on it."

"Ed, should you be coming to my AA meetings?"

--- [Outside the Brass]

It's the next day; Ed, Lennie, and Serena Southerlyn are standing outside the club. Serena says, "I checked with the Corporation Counsel's office. The Brass opened Labor Day weekend. The Liquor people have run spot checks--they've never had any problems with underage drinking. These are the first crimes associated with the club."

"But?" Lennie pointed at the club. "What do you know?"

"The other clubs in this chain seem to have a lot of suspect activity. 'The Stainless' was bad enough, but 'The Bronze', even gone they have a ridiculous record with the FBI."

"Well, we could threaten this club with an underage drinking investigation."

"Jennifer Levin. We'll use that." The three walk into the Brass. Again, the bartender waves, and Stark Newfeld greets them.

"How can I--" Lennie interrupts him and shows him a photograph. "Did you see this man here yesterday?"

Stark looks at the picture. "We get lots of patrons. We can't remember each one. Why?"

"A girl he picked up here last night tried to kill him. Add Enrique Amos, and we really don't like what's going on here. So, if you don't cooperate with us, we're just going to make sure that the City knows you're not cooperating. Oh, and the Liquor Authority will be back."

"Okay. I'll get the waitresses."

Serena points to a video camera on the wall. "What's that?"

"Oh, we take pictures of the dance floor and show them on the monitors there."

"We want the tapes," says Ed.

"It's all computerized. Oh. all right."

---

[The Forensic Lab]

"I found some scraps of last night's pictures on the disk. Want to look?" Julian Beck almost bounces with joy. Lennie, Ed, Lt. Van Buren, and Serena sit in chairs facing a large screen. Lt. Van Buren waves, and the tech presses a key.

We see the dance floor at the Brass; we recognize no one on the screen. Julian hits a button, and the scene fast forwards.

"Stop!" Ed points at the upper right of the screen. He says, "There's our boy." Phillip O'Brian is dancing with a woman. Julian presses a key, the scene fast-forwards for a bit, and it slows down again. Phillip and the woman leave the dance floor separately.

"Okay. There are a couple of scenes like this. Philip dances with a girl, and the dance ends, and they go their separate ways. But then there's this, around ten. He hits a key, and we see Phillip dancing with a new woman. The scene speeds up for a moment and slows again. We see them dancing to a new tune, a slow beat. The scene speeds up again, and we see them leave the dance floor together.

"Wait a moment. Back up a bit," says Lennie. "That's--"

Julian does something, and the scene backs up.

"That's--" "Yeah." A still picture overlays the scene. "This looks like the late Helene Garda. And then we got a a couple of fingerprints from the bathroom doorknob. Helene Garda."

"You're telling me that Phillip was dancing with a dead girl?" Lt. Van Buren seems incredulous. "All right. Find out everything you can about that case. Check for evidence problems. Check everything. This is ridiculous. Where are you going?"

"Pray for me," says Serena. "I'm calling my crazy cousin."

---

Serena steps into the corridor and pulls out her cell phone. She hits a preset combination, it beeps, and someone picks up.

"Cousin Kate, it's Serena."

"Why the hell are you calling me, you shyster?"

"Now, Kate--"

"I heard what you said about me at Theresa's wedding. 'Nuts!' 'Loco!' 'Wacko!' 'A few fries short of a Happy Meal.' Why are you deigning to call me?"

"Look, Kate. We've got a weird case here. I thought you might be able to help."

"I'm no longer on the force, Serena."

"I know, Kate. But you can tell us what it means."

"Kate Scully, that's me. Come off it."

"Look--weve got two murders and an attempted. All three cases involve someone cutting or biting the vic in the neck."

"Hmm."

"And in the attempted, we have pics of the vic dancing with a girl, we have the girl's prints, and the girl's listed as dead--murdered."

"It's a vampire."

"A vampire? Vampires don't exist."

"It's a vampire. Okay--don't believe me. Watch people die!"

"Vampires can't exist. They're impossible."

"The world isn't what you think it is, cousin. The killer's a vamp."

"Right." Serena hangs up. Lennie and Ed come out into the corridor. "We've got another one."

"Where?"

"Rooftop on Bleecker Street. Couple of kids went to make out and saw a body. What did your cousin say?"

"She tried getting me to believe it was a vampire."

"Vampires exist. I was married to two of them."

"Very funny."

--- [54298 Bleecker Street]

On the roof of a tenement house, we see a typical crime scene. The body of a man lies on the rooftop, uniformed policemen and technicians are working in the area, and Ed is talking to a pair of teenagers. Lennie and Serena approach the body; a tech notices them and says, "Looks like the only wound is this one. I'm guessing he died around 1am." He points at the neck; it has the same marks we saw on the other two murder victims.

"Three out of four. Good batting average."

"A vampire bat, Lennie?"

"You don't actually believe that crap, do you?" said the tech.

"Vampires? Let's leave Anne Rice in the book stores."

The tech leans over the head and takes another photograph.

"That's strange. His teeth are discolored," says the tech.

"It looks like dried blood," says Lennie. "We haven't seen that before."

"Should I?"

"Yeah. Zip him up."

They walk back to Ed and the two teenagers. Ed says, "They came up here after school, and saw our vic. I don't think they can help us much."

--- [The Homicide Room]

"Helene Garda lived on 9552 Jones Street, Apartment 17-C. Her body was found in the basement storage room; multiple stab wounds, but no sign of sexual assault. No progress on the case at all." Ed put his paper down.

"That's a block away from the school," said Lt. Van Buren.

"The fingerprints came both from the body and from the teaching security check," said Lennie.

"Either somebody's been making a bad mistake, or somebody has been screwing up the security records, or something really is wrong here. Is the apartment still vacant? Get a search warrant if you have to."

"I checked with the super. Her sister, Alice Garda, took over the lease."

"Lennie, it says here that Helene only had brothers."

"Get a warrant. Search the place."

---

Serena's phone rang. "Serena, it's Kate. I just checked the Post's web site. You still--"

"Kate, I don't have time now. We had another one. Just like all the others, except--"

"Yes?"

"There was dried blood in the vic's mouth. What's going on here?"

"Get some troops to the ME's office now! Because, by sundown, the vic's going to wake up. And guns won't work. Stakes, sunlight, decapitation. And tasers can stun them."

"You're joking."

"Humor me. Get over there now!"

---
[Office of the Medical Examiner, Lab 17, Dr. Carol Needleman]

"Why, Lennie, ADA Southerlyn, officers. What brings you here?"

"Oh, just humoring my wacko cousin, I suppose. How's our friend here?"

"Still dead. We were delayed getting to him; had a murder-suicide from Washington Heights to take care of."

"Have we identified our boy yet?"

"Yeah. Fingerprints say it's Brendan Wallace, teacher at the school where the first vic died."

"Great. This doesn't make any sense at all."

The doctor picks up a scalpel and starts toward the body. Suddenly, Brendan's head pops up, its eyes blink, and it transforms. Its left claw swipes at Dr. Needleman and shreds her lab coat. One of the uniformed cops dives onto Brendan, and Brendan uses its right claw to knock him into the wall. The other uniformed cop draws his service weapon and points it at Brendan. Brendan howls, as other cops show up at the doorway. It starts to sit up on the autopsy table. The cop fires at Brendan and hits him three times in the chest. Brendan simply looks down and laughs. The cop drops his weapon, and dives at Brendan; Lennie follows the cop into the melee. Then, Serena jabs at Brendan with a hand-held stunner. Its claws start to go limp, and then Dr. Needleman slams a surgical saw onto its throat. Brendan screams, and Dr. Needleman leans heavily onto the saw. The saw severs Brendan's neck, and suddenly the body dusts.

Dr. Needleman goes to the disabled cop; he gets up clutching his chest. "What just happened?"

---

Ed, Lennie, and a SWAT team march up the stairs to the Garda apartment. The team carries a battering ram. "I hope she doesn't try the fire escape."

"Clancy's squad will take care of it," says the SWAT team lead.

They get to the door. Lennie bangs on the door twice. "Helene Garda, police! Open up!" He turns to the SWAT team and says "Go!"

The team rams the door; it splinters. They do it again, and the door crashes open. Helene Garda stands in front of her couch, already transformed. She turns toward the windows and runs toward the fire escape; there is a SWAT team member already there brandishing a cross.

She turns back toward the policemen already in her apartment and charges. A SWAT team member fires a rubber bullet at her and hits her in the chest; she stumbles. The rest of the team charges back; they're wearing body armor and shields. She fights wildly, knocking policemen into the walls, but she cannot reach anything vital. Eventually, the team's sheer mass overbears her, and then three team members hit her with electric stunners. She goes limp, her body reverts to a human semblance, and they secure her with enough chains that she has no leverage to escape.

Lennie reads her rights to her.

-------

[The Interrogation Room]

Lennie and Ed stand on one side of a table; Helene is secured to a chair on the other side.

"Okay, Helene. So far we have you down for the attempted murder of Phillip O'Brian, and we have evidence that points you to three murders. If you have anything to tell us, you'd better tell us now," says Lennie.

"I don't have anything to say. What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"Three murders--I think the state can get a jury to vote for capital punishment."

"Helene, why did you do it?" says Ed.

"I'm not Helene. Helene died in August."

"You have her fingerprints, her body, and her apartment. Now, even if you're not Helene Garda, we're going to call you that anyway. Now, tell us what you are and why you did it."

"You're a cop? Get me a lawyer."

"You're a vampire? An undead being? Not human? The Constitution doesn't exactly apply to you." Ed removes a chain from around his neck; it has a crucifix on it. He dangles the chain in front of Helene, and she rears back. "As far as I can tell, you have all the rights of a mad dog." He blows upon the chain, and it rocks toward Helene's nose.

Suddenly, Lt. Van Buren's voice comes in over the intercom: "Detective Green, can you step outside for a moment?"

He steps through the door. Lt Van Buren, ADA Southerlyn, and Jack McCoy stand there. Van Buren says, "We aren't in the business of torturing anyone."

"Jack, does the Constitution apply to Helene here? And, what are we doing here anyway? We could just kill it. Kate certainly wants me to."

"Serena, if we just kill this thing, then we have no one to convict as being Enrique Amos' killer. Or Richard Raymond. Or the last one, Brendan Wallace. We owe it to them to convict their killer, not sweep her under the rug."

"Ed, get her a lawyer."

--- [New York County Criminal Court, Part 666. Arraignment Judge Deborah Bourke presiding.]

The bailiff reads aloud: "Docket number 666-172923-3. The People versus Jane Doe, aka Helene Garda. Three counts of second-degree murder, and one of attempted murder."

"Does the defendant have counsel?"

"Samuel Norton, Public Defender's office, Your Honor."

"ADA Serena Southerlyn for the State, Your Honor."

"Before I ask for a plea, I would like to know why the window shades have been drawn, why the defendant has been been given that appellation, and why the defendant is in enough chains to tie up the USS Intrepid?"

Serena says, "Your Honor, the shades are drawn for the defendant's safety. The appellation is part of the pleading."

Samuel Norton replies, "The defense has no objections to the shades being drawn. We object to the chains however."

"Your honor, the defendant is extraordinarily dangerous. Last night, she severely injured seven SWAT team memebers."

"Putting her publicly in chains is extremely prejudicial."

"Relax, Counselor. We are not in front of a jury yet. We will allow the State its discretion for now, but we shall not forget this. How does the defense plead?"

Slowly, Helene stands up and says, "Not Guilty, Your Honor."

"Bail motions?"

"The state requests remand, Your Honor. The defendant is accused of three capital crimes. She is using the alias of a dead woman. She is a danger to the public, and a fright risk."

"Your Honor, the defendant is not a danger to the public. Look at her; she's barely 100 pounds. And, she is Helene Garda."

"The papers you have filed, ADA Southerlyn, are somewhat outré. In fact, they remind me of a twisted version of the fictional 'In re Kris Kringle.'"

"The state shall prove each of its allegations, Your Honor.

"This Court orders remand." Judge Bourke wards off Counsellor Norton with her upraised hand. "She's probably safer in jail than not. Set a short date."
---

[The District Attorney's office.]

"Serena, the first thing we need to do is to win the case. we don't have that much in the way of evidence."

"We have the fingerprints from O'Brian's hotel room. We have the identical bite marks."

"Fingerprints of a dead person. You're going to have problems explaining that to a jury. In any case, we're going to have to identify the defendant with the late Helene Garda. I'm guessing that blood samples won't help."

"I think she hasn't produced any of her own blood since she died. A DNA sample should work."

"You're going to have problems finding a jury. And, it would help if you could get a bite impression, but I can't think of any way to get one."

"Without angering her into transforming, and then getting the impression. If she's smart, she won't do it. We'll get people killed that way."

"So, why don't we just kill her? She's not human--would the animal control statutes apply?"

"I do not want to even think of that. We are not going to short-circuit this trial. We owe it to the people we represent to convict this thing of what she has done. We also owe it to our ultimate clients to find out exactly what this thing is. I never thought I'd ever be prosecuting a mythical character."

Arthur Branch enters the room. "Why not, Jack? Certainly, mythical characters have appeared in legal cases before. Don't you remember Mayo v. Satan?"

Serena says, "Arthur, that case was rejected, partially because the plantiff was unable to serve the defendant." She laughs.

"And there are other, unofficial cases. Judge Bourke already mentioned 'In re Kris Kringle'. And then, there's 'Scratch v. Stone'."

"Would you care to enlighten us, Arthur?"

"Certainly, Jack. That is the case in 'The Devil and Daniel Webster', by Stephen Vincent Benét. They don't teach much literature these days in law school."

"I was more interested then in cases like 'Brett v. The American Baseball League'. So, what do you think of this case?"

"Well, Jack, when I was a teenager, I went to see all the low-budget monster movies. The AIP films and the Roger Corman films. And, in law school, we would sometimes relax by arguing the legal ramifications of flying saucers or pod people."

"And did you come up with any conclusions?"

"No, Serena. We once had a moot court, but we all consumed too much alcohol that day. I wasn't always the stuffy Neanderthal you see today."

"So, Arthur, did you come to any conclusions?"

"This country was founded upon the self-evident truth that all men are created equal. We didn't act like that for many years, but now we do. And, nothing in the Constitution makes any reference to the species of man. It refers to persons, but that does not imply that the person is a member of Homo sapiens. After all, corporations can be convicted of felonies."

"And if the alien race is utterly inimical to mankind?"

"As Justice Jackson once wrote, 'The Constitution is not a suicide pact.'"

--- [Conference Room]

Serena and Jack sit on one side of a table, and Samuel Norton and Helene Garda sit opposite them. Helene is handcuffed to her chair, and although untransformed, she looks hateful.

Samuel says, "Let's make a deal."

"If you plead guilty and allocute to all the charges, we'll recommend fifteen-to-life on each murder charge. Served consecutively."

"What, Jack? Not going for the death penalty? Or life without parole, at least? I was thinking involuntary manslaughter, two-to-six."

"You must be joking."

"Irrestible impulse."

"Any more talk like that, and we'll all go for a walk in the sun," said Serena.

"What, no death penalty?" said Helene.

Serena replied, "There's a technical problem with that--your client's already dead. And the only form of capital punishment in this State is lethal injection. What good will that do?"

"If we wanted to kill your client, we'd have done it already. I figure at least 45 years of imprisonment, chained like that at all times, is a start at sufficient punishment."

Helene growls. "I'm hungry."

"Oh. You haven't been getting three square meals a day? Serena, please make sure she gets three kosher meals a day. All the meat properly soaked and salted to drain the blood off--that's better for her anyway."

Helene transforms, and tries to break her bonds. Serena and Jack brandish crosses toward her. Samuel looks at Helene, and then does the same. Helene reverts to human.

"Helene, according to the Judicial Canons, I must defend you to the best of my ability. I am not required to be suicidal. Jack, you've made your point. What do you really want?"

"Helene pleads guilty. She allocutes. She tells us all about her condition. She tells us who made her. She tells us about other vampires in the City. She finds a way to render her safe. She does all that, and she gets to serve twenty-to-life. We'll find a facility for her."

"No. No way."

"Think about it, Helene," says Serena.

"You have 24 hours to decide."

Jack and Serena walk out.

---
"Do you think she'll go for it, Jack?"

"I don't know. How does a vampire think? I'd rather avoid a jury trial."

"Thinking this was a bad idea, Jack?" The phone rings, Serena picks it up, listens for a moment, and hangs the phone up. "Guess what?"

"Norton filed a notice of an affirmative defense. Not Guilty due to mental defect."

"What chutzpah. I'll call Dr. Olivet."

---

"I don't believe I've ever seen a purer example of a psychopathic personality."

"I would expect that from a vampire."

"Jack, Serena, to this--thing--Helene Garda is a mask she wears. A shell around her greater self. Human beings exist only to provide her and others like her sustenance. Otherwise, the only relationship she recognizes is that of power. She acquiesces in our control because she knows she doesn't have the power to break it, but if she gets a chance she will have her revenge."

"Does she have a mental defect?"

"Certainly, Jack. Does it meet the statutory definition? I don't think so. Yes, she requires blood for her nourishment. But, there are other ways for her to obtain it. She knows that there are other ways for her to obtain blood, but she doesn't care. She enjoys taking it by force. She says she hasn't killed anyone else, but that is only because she was new and unsure of herself. She knows what she does violates the law and all morality; she just doesn't care."

"We've seen that before. Leopold and Loeb."

"Yes. Well, they managed to get a lesser sentence. I really don't want that for Helene."

"So, if Helene is just a mask for this thing, what is this thing anyway?"

"Serena, I asked her what she was. She was comtemptuous about it, but she explained that a vampire makes another by draining a victim nearly to death and then giving the victim some of her blood. Then, a demon possesses the victim's body and ousts its human soul. The body dies, and is reborn."

"Well, we don't do theology here. I really don't want to explain this to a jury. Do you believe her?"

"Considering that she's moving around without a heartbeat, blood circulation, or breath, I don't disbelieve her."

"Let's find out if these demons can't learn to coexist with us."

---

"Kate, are all vampires clinically insane?"

"They all deserve to die. Oh, some can pass for human, but they're not human. You didn't believe me when I told you vamps killed Dad."

"Now I do. This one's trying to cop an insanity plea."

"Just kill it."

"No. We need to know if all vampires are bound by their demons to be evil."

"Of course, cousin. Except for--damn! I'm putting you on hold, Serena." Kate drops off the line. Serena paces the carpet. "Serena, I've set up a conference call. This is Angel. You can't trust him completely, but he can tell you what you need to know."

---

[The Conference Room.]

Serena, Jack, Helene, and Samuel are at the conference table again. Serena says, "Helene, have you ever heard of a vampire named Angel?"

"No. Should I?"

"No reason you should have. Just an ordinary vampire, a brutal SOB if ever there were one. But, some gypsies that he mortally offended cursed him with his human soul back."

"Poor bastard."

"The thing is that he's been trying to live a moral life since, trying to pay for his crimes."

"Idiot."

Jack interrupts. "He's willing to be deposed on the State's behalf. Now, since you'll never get 'demons' or 'souls' into evidence in court, now you'll never be able to prove that your vampirism makes you unable to conform to the requirements of the law."

"So, you'll be found guilty. Twenty-five to life, times three. Cooperate with us, and we'll reinstate the old deal. After all, you have a lot to teach us."

Samuel looks at Helene. "They've won, Helene. They have the power. You don't. Your choice."

Helene transforms, and screams an impotent scream.

---

[New York County Criminal Court, Part 1729. Trial Judge Walter Bourne presiding.]

It's the end of Helene's allocution.

"Do you swear that each statement you have made here is true, that you murdered Enrique Amos, Richard Raymond, and Brendan Wallace, and that you attempted to murder Phillip O'Brian?"

"Yes, Your honor."

"Then, your plea of Guilty is accepted. This Court approves of the sentencing reccomendation the State has submitted. You are sentenced to a term of at least twenty years in a correctional facility chosen by the State. This court is adjourned."

The Judge rises, and corrections officers begin to lead the heavily chained Helene Garda away. Suddenly, a teen-aged girl rises from the public gallery, takes the sharpened pencil she had been writing with, and throws it at Helene. It hits Helene in the back, slips between her ribs, and enters her heart. Helene dusts.

---

[The District Attorney's office]

"Sara Hsu, a student at Hunter High school. She said that she was the new Slayer for New York."

"Slayer, Jack?"

"The new 'Vampire Slayer' for New York. That she'd been 'activated' at the end of May. And, that it was her job to patrol the City and destroy Helene and everything like her."

Arthur comes into the room. "Well, this was a successful day all around. You got your conviction, we learned a lot about the Underworld, and we don't have to worry about Helene escaping."

"You think she would have tried?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"But, did we achieve justice for Enrique, Richard, and Brendan?"

"That's too philosophical for me. Let's just say that we tampered with the Common Law, that humans fight vampires and demons and give them no quarter, and that the Common Law won. And if we now find ourselves in the midst of a secret war, we should be used to that. We're New Yorkers. What did you do with Sara Hsu?"

"Sent her back to high school. After all, did she really commit a crime?"

"Let's get out of here. I can really use a Bloody Mary or three."

---

The characters of Law and Order are the property of Dick Wolf and NBC. The characters of Angel are the properties of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No infringement is intended.

The street addresses are all fake. Either the numbers are large enough that the addresses would be off in the East River, or the street just doesn't exist. Jones Street and Great Jones Street are short.

Judge Deborah Bourke is played by Donna Hanover. Julian Beck is played by John E. Cariani.

"Mayo v. Satan", more formally referred to as "UNITED STATES ex rel. Gerald MAYO v. SATAN AND HIS STAFF", is a real case. I read about it on the weblog, The Volokh Conspiracy. The case "In re Kris Kringle" was dramatized in a movie that should be back on television in late November. Edmund Gwenn performs wonderfully as the respondant, and Maureen O'Hara and the young Natalie Wood are quite touching. See http://us.imdb.com/Title?0039628 for details. The Benét story is available online at http://www.law.utexas.edu/lpop/etext/devil/devil.htm.

"Brett v. The American Baseball League" is discussed in a number of law journals, including:

Christopher H. Clancy & Jonathan A. Weiss, A Pine Tar Gloss on Quasi-Legal Images, 5 Cardozo L. Rev. 411 (1984)

Jared Tobin Finkelstein, Comment, In re Brett: The Sticky Problem of Statutory Construction, 52 Fordham L. Rev. 430 (1983)

----

Respectfully, Eric Jablow Copyright 2003, All Rights Reserved.