I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. First it was writer's block, and then my beta DISAPPEARED FOR A FEW WEEKS…
I'm sorry. And for those who didn't know-I revised chapter 14, and YOU NEED to read that one first before this one. I hope that you can all forgive me. I'm so sorry!
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR
After we parted, my mind tried its best to grasp what I had just done. I hadn't expected to do it, not that I meant to; things just happened. Haldir was peering down at me apprehensively. I didn't know what to do. There was an awkward silence as nether of us spoke. When he began to speak, I shook my head, interrupting him.
"I-I must think, for a moment. I--", I didn't know what to say. I backed away silently disappearing into trees. He let me go, thankfully. I needed time to think. I had loved Legolas all my life, through laughter and sorrow. Feelings like that didn't go away, yet I had felt nothing when I watched him paddle down the river to his doom, or perhaps I was just to foolish to see the mistake I made.
I slipped quietly into the bedroom window from a nearby tree. I could sense someone pacing outside my door, and hoped to avoid confrontation with whoever it was. As silently as I could, I slipped into the room and into bed. After all, the elf would eventually have to retire. I rolled over, consumed in guilt and confusion. My mind and heart were racing, each hoping to come out the victor. Confusion was an emotion I was steadily getting used to. I felt utterly helpless; it was as if a series of events, a chain reaction, had been set in motion, and I was just a spectator of my own destiny. At last, after tossing and turning for hours, Sleep took me under her gentle wings.
"My Lady," said Haldir, bowing low to the Lady Galadriel. Haldir's expression was a mask of calm. He was trying to focus, but found his mind straying to earlier events.
"Haldir, it is of the utmost importance that you listen and understand fully." Haldir came to his senses.
"Yes, My Lady", he said, wondering why the Lady had requested to see him. Beside her stood Celeborn.
"We are here to discuss the Lady Alatariel." Haldir shifted, unaware he had done so. "There are things you must know about her. I have chosen you to guide her, Haldir, and I have complete faith in you.
"Long ago I foresaw in my mirror a girl who would play an important part in this war, yet I did not see which of the many parts she would have. I knew the instant that young Ala was born, that she was something special. Unfortunately, events have occurred that I had not foreseen. Her parents disappeared when she was young, and I have only recently discovered their fate. They have fallen into the shadow of the dark lord. But she is not to know of their fate. She is in dire need of a change, and it shall come upon her swiftly. She shall become the warrior she was born to be, but it will take more now. It is your duty, Haldir, to see to her training. As I have told you all this you must be wondering why I am repeating myself." Celeborn paused before continuing.
"Haldir," he said, his voice portraying an undertone of weariness, "the Lady as come to the conclusion that Alatariel has the gift of foresight. This is a terrible burden, but one which she was meant to bear. Yet, in this time of darkness, her spirit weakens. Her resolve might waver, should a time come when it is tested. Be mindful of her, for she is a powerful player in this war." The Lady Galadriel stood, as did the others.
"Tomorrow begins her true training. Prepare her well," said Galadriel.
I awoke to the soft shaking of an elf maid.
"My Lady," she was saying", My Lady 'tis time for breakfast. Lord Haldir requests your presence at breakfast -- immediately. He says you are to dress for training." I held in the grumblings of sleepiness and abandoned all hope of avoiding Haldir that day. I shook off the weariness, standing out of bed. The maid did her best to attend to me, but was not much help, for she was not familiar with the attire -- a tunic and britches, once again. I must admit that the attire was not uncomfortable; it was flexible and easy to move in. When finished, the maid plaited my hair.
"Haldir is waiting my Lady," She said in a polite voice. I thanked her, and made my way to breakfast.
Upon entering the hall, I expecting to see it full of talking elves, yet I was alone, save for the march warden whose back was to me.
I knew that Haldir was aware of her presence as I stood behind him, waiting for him to make the first move.
"Sit," he said, and I did so.
"Good morning, Haldir."
"It begins today," he said keeping his tone formal.
"What begins today?" I asked while nibbling on some food.
"The Lady has asked me to prepare you for battle, and I shall do as she asks." I frowned, not failing to notice the formality of his tone.
"Haldir, why are you being like this?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
"I wish not to discuss this now, Lady Alatariel." He stood, and I followed grudgingly; if I had not been taught patience, I may have let my temper get the best of me. I fumed silently as Haldir led me to the sparring grounds.
"We are to start the day here." Haldir began as if lecturing elflings on how to sit properly in chairs. "With the basics of the sword. Once you have mastered that we shall move onto daggers." I thought it would have been easier to start with daggers but apparently not.
The rest of the day, I spent on the sparring grounds with Haldir, teaching me the basics of sword fighting, and even sparring a bit. Finally, we took a break.
"So, how am I fairing?" I was quite aware of the fact that I had made many mistakes that he hadn't corrected.
"Fine," he replied distantly.
"Fine? FINE? Is that all you have to say to me?" He turned his face masked of all emotions.
"Fine." My temper flared.
"You are the most insufferable elf I have ever met. Well, Haldir, when I'm dying in battle and you ask me if how I feel, I'm going to reply 'fine'. I can't learn if you won't teach me!" My shouting had attracted the stares of a few elves around us. I was tired and achy, and stormed away leaving Haldir to answer to the stares.
In my room, I found a hot bath already prepared for me. Sinking thankfully into the warm waters, I wished then, more than ever, that I had never left Rivendell. Oh! That Haldir! I can understand if he's feeling a bit awkward, but if it's interfering with my training then it could mean my life in battle. I got out of the bath, finding I was unable to lie still in it. I dressed in a soft green gown made of velvety material. Brushing my hair, I stopped suddenly and went to my trunk, pulling out something I hadn't thought of in a long time. Sitting down on the bed, I carefully opening the lid of a dark box that had leaves carved onto it. I looked inside, finding to my surprise, an unopened letter. The parchment was heavy, and the seal on the back was green leaf. With shaking hands, I opened the letter, the last letter, and onto my lap, slid an emerald green necklace. Closing my eyes, I braced myself for the letter and its contents.
By the time you find this, I will have undoubtedly have left with the Fellowship. And I believe that our parting will be a sorrowful one, even if we mend our problems. But there are things I want you to know, and please, truly believe me when I say I love you. I love you now, I loved you when we met, and I shall love you forever. I will always love you, Ala. In your hands, you will have my heart, for all eternity. Yet here, I give your necklace back. Though you will always have my heart, perhaps I no longer have yours, so I give this back for you to give to whom you will, and may you find happiness in whatever and whoever you choose, melamin. I will always love you, and I wish you only the very best.
I sat in disbelief. Tears streamed down my face. I felt horrible. My heart hadn't been shattered; he had held it safely all this time. What had I done? Suddenly I felt a great weariness overtake me, and I let it. Then the vision came.
Once again, it was upon the wall, in the dark night. The scene was the same as the other one. One by one, I watched my kin fall, tier blood joined with that of both men and orcs. Again, I turned and to my horror, watched Haldir fall. I screamed, trying to run to him. I heard an arrow fly from somewhere distance, but only when Legolas jumped to shield me, did I see that the arrow was aimed at me. As he fell, my eyes were wide with fear and horror; the arrow had struck him in small of his back, piercing both flesh and bone to reappear on the other side. His breathing was ragged and I was in complete disarray. Haldir -- dead, Legolas – dead. Who else was to die that night? Was I meant to suffer the same fate? In my moment of despair, an orc picked up my dagger, my father's dagger, and stabbed my back. I gasped in surprise; indeed, I had nearly forgotten the battle. Blood spilled, seeping my clothes. The orc, not satisfied that I was not yet dead, spun me around and delved the blade into my stomach. Closing my eyes, all I could think was I let them die. Legolas died saving me, and Haldir died, as I could not save him. Why was I not strong enough? Aragorn was holding me, his mouth moving, but I could hear no sound. Not his voice, not the clanging of axes around me, or the screams and moans of the dying. What is he saying? I can't hear him and his face is beginning to fade. My entire body aches. Legolas. Legolas where are you?
I awoke to Haldir standing at the edge of the bed, a worried look on his face.
Even so, he was still formal when he said, "The Lady wishes to see you." I stood, following Haldir, my necklace clutched in my right hand. He led me down a small set of stairs to a small clearing, not where I had expected. I had anticipated a meeting like before, but seeing what stood in the center of the clearing and I knew this was unlike any meeting before. I waited nervously. She is going to ask me to look, I know she is. Quietly she came, as a shadow in the night, her power emanating from within. Looking up, I was suddenly afraid. Silent as a watcher, she poured water into the basin.
"Will you look?" she asked, as I remembered my vision.
"Will I see death?" I asked, for I did not want to see any more of it. She nodded. Who will I see die, I wondered. Will it be Haldir, or Legolas? Or will it be myself? The real question was: who did I want it to be -- Legolas or Haldir?
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