His 2IC and Her CO

by Blue Topaz


Disclaimers: Stargate SG-1 is not mine.

AN: This is the first instalment of the series 'His and Hers'. The basic premise is that Sam and Jack are force to write a journal together. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Rosemary for beta-reading this and being such a friend.


Monday, 7 July 2003

10.01: Jack O'Neill

Hammond has finally gone nuts. Bonzo. Out of his mind. Crazy.

I wonder if the Doc could find a cure for it. Because I need it. Fast.

I'm a Colonel for crying out loud. My job is to save the planet, be the hero, rescue the damsel in distress, and not be some sort of lab rat for a psychiatrist to play with. Find some other man to do it. Why did Hammond choose me? Pick Ferretti, pick Coburn, pick anyone else but ME!

Hammond won't read this, right?

10.04: Sam Carter

Sir, General Hammond took your name out of the hat. It's not insanity; it's your bad luck.

And yes, Colonel, the General won't read this. It's the patient-doctor confidentiality privilege.

10.05: Jack O'Neill

How come it's MY bad luck and not yours? And watch your answer, Major, I'm still the one who writes your annual review.

10.05: Sam Carter

Because, oh almighty Colonel, it was the CO's names that they put inside the hat, not their 2ICs. Besides, how hard could this be? We have complete control over what we write.

10.06: Jack O'Neill

'Oh almighty Colonel'? You do realise that sucking up won't get you anywhere, right? On second thought, go see Fraiser, have your head checked. You don't sound like the Carter I know.

Fine, fine. I'll do this, just don't expect me to write something deep and meaningful, deal?

10.07: Sam Carter

I was being sarcastic, Sir.

And don't worry Sir; I know how deep and meaningful you can be.

10.07: Jack O'Neill

Was that an insult, Carter?

10.08: Sam Carter

No, Sir. I was just practising.

10.09: Jack O'Neill

Practising for what?

10.09: Sam Carter

I plead the fifth on this one.

10.10: Jack O'Neill

Carter! I'm ordering you.

10.10: Sam Carter

I have no obligation to follow your order Sir. Not in this journal. Haven't you read the guidelines? If you haven't, please turn to page 12, article 3.6.2.


12.34: Sam Carter

Judging by your reply (or the lack thereof), the guidelines were in the blue book that the General gave us this morning. The one that you slipped inside the folder with my report of P54 TXY's mineral survey.

12.34: Jack O'Neill

Hey! I know that!

12.35: Sam Carter

I'm sure you do, Sir.

12.36: Jack O'Neill

Who needs the stupid manual anyway? Look at the time; wanna join me for lunch, Carter? I heard the chef has a new recipe for chicken pasta.

12.37: Sam Carter

I'll see you in the mess hall in 15 minutes. Save me a seat. And blue Jell-O.


13.00: The Psychiatrist

What was your first impression of each other? And how did that impression change throughout the years as you two got to know each other better?


13.39: Jack O'Neill

'The Psychiatrist'? Honestly. Could you come out with something better than that? I know that you wanted to stay anonymous, for your own good; I mean I could think of several scenarios of what I would do to you once I get my hands on you. But come on! 'The Psychiatrist'? Can't you come out with something better than that? Like 'The Shrink' or 'The Head Examiner' or 'The Mind Reader' or 'The Guy Who Had Nothing Better To Do Than Ordering People To Talk About Something That Completely Useless'?

Carter? Could you think of something else? I've run out of ideas here.

13.40: Sam Carter

Shouldn't we be concentrating on what 'The Psychiatrist' told us to do, Sir? Instead of renaming him/HER?

13.40: Jack O'Neill


Fine, give me an hour or so, I'll think of something nice to say about you.

13.41: Sam Carter

Gee, Sir. You have to think about something nice about me? For AN hour? I'm touched. Really.

13.41: Jack O'Neill

You're enjoying this, aren't you? You're enjoying my misery, aren't you?

13.42: Sam Carter

For the sake of my career and our friendship, this is me pleading the fifth again.

An hour it is then, I'll post mine in about 4 hours, I have an experiment to run.

13.42: Jack O'Neill

Tell me. Why haven't I re-assigned you to another team? It could've saved me a lot of grey hair.

13.42: Sam Carter

But then you wouldn't have this much fun.

13.43: Jack O'Neill

Don't you mean, YOU wouldn't have this much fun?

13.43: Sam Carter

That too.

Sir, I really need to get the experiment going. I'll talk to you later.

13.43: Jack O'Neill

Carter is evil.

That pretty much sums up everything. My work in here is done.

13.44: Sam Carter

I took that as a compliment. I look forward to reading about the nice things you wrote about me that you had promised earlier. Don't forget that you still have to put the First Impression.

13.50: Jack O'Neill

First Impression: Carter is Evil

Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, until The Last Impression: Carter is still evil

Conclusion: She is as evil now as she was when I first saw her.


18.02: Sam Carter

Is that how you want to play the game, Sir? OK then.

First Impression: The Colonel is incorrigible

Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, until The Last Impression: He is still incorrigible.

Conclusion: He is as incorrigible now as he was when I first saw him.

18.05: Jack O'Neill

Why, Carter. I never thought that you paid attention.

18.08: Sam Carter

Of course I do. But Sir, we are supposed to take this assignment seriously. Anyway, I thought hard about it and this is what I came out with.

My first Impression of Colonel O'Neill was that he was a man who sees things as it is. In black and white. Good is good and evil is evil, and that there's nothing in between. He hates not being in control, and he hates it even more when people tell him what to do. But he likes challenges and is very loyal to his friends. He also has a very strange sense of humour.

But then as I got to know him better, I realised that he does recognise that grey area. In fact he was the 'in-between' kind of man. He can be the hero and yet he can easily be the villain too. It depends on the situation. He makes decisions based on his principles and he makes choices w others don't even have the courage to consider. He has the ability to bring out the best in the people under his command. He doesn't mind being the bad guy as long as his team is safe.

He's a very private sort of person. There are things that he doesn't want to share with the rest of the world and carries the burden alone. Trust is the most important thing to him. He loves clich├ęs so badly; he pretends that he hates them.

And his sense of humour is not so strange after all.

18.12: Jack O'Neill

Don't give away all my secrets, Carter.

Oh well, I did promise to say something nice about you. So, here it is.

My first impression on Carter was that she was a smart-ass. Well, she's smart and she knows it all too well. So, she uses it to her advantage. She's strong and very confident. Long story short, she's a brat.

But there are things in the last 7 years that changed her. Cassie and Jolinar are two of the few major ones. She's still smart (thanks God for that), still confident, still strong and still uses it to her advantage (because that's what a smart girl does). However, she has opened herself up a little, loosened up a bit, and learned how to disobey a direct order (I was so damn proud of her; we did save the planet because of it). She has learned to question my decisions (not always a bad thing), make fun of me in her annoyingly polite way (so that I couldn't bring her up on insubordination charges) and the most important thing is that she stayed true to herself. If someone (including me) does something that upsets her, she'll let them know. If someone does something right, she'll give them the credit that they deserved.

She's a friend. A damn good one as well.

And it's a bonus that her sense of humour is as twisted as mine.

There, serious enough for you?

18.13: Sam Carter

It is. Thank you, Sir.

For the record, I was never a brat.

And my sense of humour is not twisted. It was just slightly adjusted to match yours.

18.13: Jack O'Neill

Deny it all you like. It was still my impression of you. Mine alone.

Say, what do you call this tiny and fancy notebook.

18.14: Sam Carter

It's called Palm, Sir. Ours were installed with some new software, they are connected to one another. That's how the journal works, like some sort of chat room, but only certain people can access them. There's an organizer in it as well. Want me to teach you how to use it?

18.14: Jack O'Neill

Nah, I don't need organizers, thanks anyway. But you could help me with something else.

18.14: Sam Carter

What is it?

18.15: Jack O'Neill

Ferretti came to my office around 1500 hours. He told me something interesting. Something to do with a certain blonde Major and this 'waste of time' joined journal. Something you want to say to me, oh certain blonde Major?

18.15: Sam Carter


So you heard? Oh well, I guess you'll find out about it sooner or later.

I was hoping for the 'later' though.

18.15: Jack O'Neill

Care to elaborate on your actions, Carter? Because no one in their right mind would do what you did. Seriously. Are you on some sort of medication?

18.16: Sam Carter

Can I pass the offer?

And no, I'm not on medication.

18.16: Jack O'Neill

No, you cannot pass the offer.

If you're not on some sort of medication, then you should be.


18.17: Sam Carter

To make you uncomfortable?

And I wasn't thinking.

Gotta go, Sir. I have a meeting in a few minutes.

18.17: Jack O'Neill

Why you little ...

What's going on here? Tell me! You're hiding something from me.

18.18: Sam Carter

I really have a meeting to go to, Sir.

And so do you.

18.18: Jack O'Neill

What are you talking about, Carter? I don't have a meeting.

18.19: Sam Carter

Yes, you do. At 18.30, with the accounting department, about the equipment that I requested for our next mission. It's a bit expensive, so you need to talk to them about it as the SG-1 leader.

18.19: Jack O'Neill

How come I never heard about this meeting?

18.20: Sam Carter

I sent you a memo about it two days ago.

18.20: Jack O'Neill

Carter, you know me with memos. We never got along.

18.21: Sam Carter

I know.

Gotta go. Good luck with the meeting, Sir. The accounting department will send someone to your office about this. They also know that you're a hopeless case with memos.


18.21: Jack O'Neill

That's why those accountants kept popping out of thin air?

And what do you mean 'you know'? And I'm not hopeless with memos. We just don't get along.

Don't you dare leave me like this!

18.24: Jack O'Neill


18.27: Jack O'Neill


You there?

18.29: Jack O'Neill

I stand by my first assessment.

Carter is Evil.


19.20: Jack O'Neill

The accountant is finally gone.

I want to erase my journal entry (especially the one with my second assessment on Carter). How do you do that?


19.37: Sam Carter

Sir, I told you I was having a meeting.

And there's no way to erase the entry.

Actually, there is (see how honest I am with you?). But I'm the only one who knows how to.

19.39: Jack O'Neill

Do you know how boring the accountant was? I was practically asleep while trying to listen to what he had to say.

19.40: Sam Carter

Did we get the new equipment?

19.40: Jack O'Neill

I was almost bored to death and all you want to know is whether or not we got the new equipment?

19.41: Sam Carter

It's my nature. Can't help it. Besides, you've survived worse.

19.41: Jack O'Neill

I guess you're right. Hey, wanna come for dinner?

19.42: Sam Carter

I'll see you in the mess hall in 5 minutes.


20.55: Jack O'Neill

I just heard Ferretti walk passed my office. That reminded me of something. I'm asking you again.


You haven't answered it, and it better be a good one, Carter. Because you dragged me into this mess.


21.30: Jack O'Neill

Carter ... don't ignore me.


22.19: Jack O'Neill

You're up to no good. I just knew it.

I'll hunt you down, Carter.


23.51: Sam Carter


I have a confession to make.

You're aware that the background of this project is to test the compatibility between the CO and their 2IC, aren't you? So what happened to the SG-9 won't happen to any other team (to be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing that happening again, but that's not my call). And I do offer myself (and consequentially you) to become the 'guinea pigs' for this experiment to General Hammond.

Don't get mad yet. I'll explain everything.

You see. I think highly of 'us'. I figured if they said that we're not compatible with each other, then this project is completely useless. After all, we spent almost 7 years working together and still haven't had the urge to shoot one another, yet. Don't worry about the secrecy, this will go to an independent psychiatrist for analyzing after I've edited the names and locations (in case we slipped and mentioned something about the Stargate or our missions off-world). And the ones who will read the journal will be just you, me and the independent psychiatrist (he/she wouldn't even know our names). Promise.

You know why we have to do this, right? Most of us have the tendency to hate shrinks (with good reasons, of course), but we do need to have our heads examined sometimes. Writing journals like this is easier than talking to them face to face. And it was kinda therapeutic as well. We'll have one question that will be issued at precisely 13.00 every day to keep it in focus.

And it will be fun to see you (and me of course) trying to answer the questions.

I know you're in your house right now, Sir. So I figure if you want to kill me after reading this, at least I have one more night to live. Please let me know how many nights I have left.



PS: I lied about the name out the hat thing. Sorry. But you would have had my head on a platter if I had told you the truth earlier.

23.55: Jack O'Neill

This is your lucky day, Carter.

I'm not home yet. Daniel borrowed my car to run some errands.

So ... you decided to have fun at my expense huh? And lied to me as well?

And actually admitting it?

Brave, Carter. Very brave. But foolish.

Run, Carter, run. If you still want to have nights to spend, I suggest you run.

23.56: Sam Carter

Aye, aye, Colonel. I'm running with fear right now.

PS: I'm on the phone with Daniel right now. He's in Janet's office.

23.56: Jack O'Neill

Darn it.

And tone the sarcasm down a bit Carter.

Tell Daniel 'thank you' for being such a friend.

23.56: Sam Carter

Come on, Sir. This wasn't too bad, was it?

I mean, we could talk to each other like this, no one will know.

And why can't I be sarcastic? I can't do it outside this journal.

23.57: Jack O'Neill

The shrink will know.

Darn it woman. Don't play the guilt trip on me.

Okay then, you can stay as sarcastic as you like.

23.57: Sam Carter

Well, yeah. But the shrink wouldn't know who we are.

And thank you for granting my wish.

23.57: Jack O'Neill


What makes you think that I'll play along with this journal? There's nothing in it for me.

23.57: Sam Carter

Cheat code for any 10 computer games. Your pick.

23.58: Jack O'Neill

Interesting. And how come you never offered me this before?

23.58: Sam Carter

Well, I have to have something to get out of this kind of situation.

23.58: Jack O'Neill

I'm wasting my time. Of course you have to have something like this.

23.59: Sam Carter

You're the one who taught me.

So, how many nights do I have left?

23.59: Jack O'Neill

You're safe. For now.

Alright, I'm going to bed.

Night Carter, and drive safely.

On second thought, don't drive. Stay in the SGC, but don't pull the all-nighter. Sleep like normal people do. Say that to Daniel as well.

23.59: Sam Carter

Yes Dad.

23.59: Jack O'Neill

That's 'Colonel' to you, not 'Dad'.

Don't forget to watch your back tomorrow. You might be safe, but you're not that safe.

23.59: Sam Carter

Thanks for the warning. And thanks for agreeing to this.

See you tomorrow.

And good night to you too.


That's it for now. What do you think so far? The next one will be 'His Archaeologist, Her CMO, and Their Jaffa'. There will be more S/J goodness in the next one. Feedback and review are greatly appreciated.