Jewel: Hahahahahaha!!! Me? Own Yugioh?? Yeah RIGHT!!! goes!

Lashana the Drunken Pixie (After this known as Lashana, too long to type.): In other words Takaehiko9683 has been on her case for a week to write something, so she decided that she'd better before Takaehiko9683 found leftover fireworks or something.

Jewel: Exactly. So anyways, for this ficcy, we (namely me, Lashana, and the mortal members of the Yugioh gang) decided we REALLY needed to teach the Yami's to operate something more technologically advanced than an electric toothbrush.

Bakura: But those things are SCARY!!!

Jewel: Do ya see what I mean? Good. So we also decided the most entertaining way to accomplish this was to lock them all in a room and let them 'experiment' with the different devices.

Malik: Do we get to play with the fireworks?

Jewel: No. Oh, BTW, we also brought back Priest Seto because he's just too cool to leave out. And I thought it'd be funny to bring him let the confusion begin!!

Yami Bakura - Bakura

Yami Malik - Malik

Yami Yugi - Yami

Priest Seto - Seth

Seto - Seto

Bakura - Ryou

Malik - Marik

Yugi - Yugi

Have we all got that? Good! Let the story begin!!

Chappie 1. The Chainsaw. *Jewel, Crissy, Daine and Nat are sitting rather comfortably on pouf chairs as the scenery around them constantly changes from palaces to forests to beaches to clouds to dungeons to the set of The View (do not own) to many, many other gorgeous places.*

Daine: Well that's getting rather boring.

Jewel: Rrrghh..fine. We'll bring the Yugioh cast in and finally modernize the Yami's like we promised to. *Snaps fingers*

*Yugi, Marik, Ryou, Seto, Yami, Malik, Bakura and Seth all fall from a hole in the clouds, landing in a worshipping position before the girls' feet.*

Crissy: Well that worked out well.

Jewel: OK, you guys KNOW why you're here, right?

Yami: Actually, no. Why are we here?

Seth: Why is the pharaoh not dead?

Yami: *Looks around* YOU BLOODY TRAITOR!!! *Yami and Seth attack each other*

Nat: Why is he developing a British accent?

Seto: Why are there two of me?

Daine: Why are we asking so many questions?

Crissy: *Begins playing with a fireball in her hands* Ooohh..pretty fire!

*Everyone looks at her oddly*

Crissy: What? You said to stop asking questions!

Jewel: *Stops staring at the 'Pretty Fire'* ANYWAY! You are here to learn how to be more..technologically advanced *Mumbles* and to give us a certain amount of entertainment...

Seth: Ok, so could someone please explain why I can understand this language I should not know the name of but do, why I'm not back near my pyramid, and who the heck all of you are?

Nat: No.

Yugi: HI! I'm from the future!

Seth: *Backs away slowly* You look just like him! *Points at Yami*

Yugi: *Points at Seto* You look just like HIM!

Seto: Yeah.about that..

Bakura: *Says something rather rapidly in Egyptian no one but he and Seth can catch*

Seth: Oh! I got it now!

Ryou: Good. *Turns to face Authoresses* So you decided to keep your promise?

Nat: For our amusement only!

Crissy: Yep! Four completely modernized ancient Egyptian people comin' right up!

Daine and Jewel: *"Escort" hikaris out of room with blowtorches*

Daine: OK, guys, so what do we got?

Jewel: Fireworks, candles, some blowtorches for Daine, some of Pegasus's "Fruit Juice" for everyone, a Katana and some pointy Kendo Sticks for Crissy, Authoress powers for me.and Nat's scary enough, she can just fend for herself.

Nat: *Pouts*

Bakura, Malik, Yami and Seth: *Look on in horror*

Daine: gonna be fun.

Crissy: First item!! *Evilly* The CHAINSAW!!!! *Commercial-ey* Makes lovely garden statues when used correctly! *Big fake smile*

Jewel: Well that's..odd..OK! *Snaps fingers and everyone is suddenly holding a chainsaw*

Daine: Is give them chainsaws already?

Nat: Of course it's not wise! When have we ever done anything that's wise?

Daine: There was that one time..nope, nevermind. I see your point.

Crissy: Don't we need trees or something?

Jewel: Oh yeah..*snaps fingers..again.and again..and again.*

Crissy: It's not working?

Jewel: Yes it is!! Stupid *mumbled garble* WORK!!

Yami, Bakura, Seth, and Malik: Let us try!

Jewel: What the foo?

Yami: Oh come on! You think we can't work magic?

Jewel: Good point..

Bakura: Allow me. *Snaps fingers*

Trees: *Appear*

Crissy: Show off!

Nat: O.K..we really have to fix that..they can't have better powers than us..

Jewel: Good point..*Snaps fingers*

Seth: Yeah, that worked.

Daine: Actually, it did.

Nat: Exactly. You have no more magic.

Crissy: And your millennium items are gone too!

Malik: What did you replace them with??

Authoresses: FOAM!!!

Jewel: Go with the Foam Lovers Of America!

Bakura: *Backs away slowly*


Authoresses: Because it AMUSES us! DUH!

Nat: And we can't have you killing anyone TOO easily.

Daine: Or going after us.

Crissy: So.does anyone actually know how to turn this on?

Jewel: Umm..just kinda fiddle around with it...

Nat and Daine: *Chainsaws already running* You don't know how to turn it on?

Jewel and Crissy: *Suddenly get it* YES!!

Nat: Ok, the general idea is to take this thing and cut down trees..

Crissy: Or trim bushes...

Daine: Or find out if it'll cut thru Yami's hair..

Malik, Bakura, and Seth: ^___________^


Malik, Bakura, and Seth: *Nod simultaneously, then start up chainsaws*

Nat: This is where the hero has to learn it's not that great to be the only Yami that's on the side of "good."


Daine: Crissy, really now! They're not gonna mortally wound him..yet..

Jewel: Yeah.he'll be fine..possibly bald, but fine..

Yami: *Looks on in horror*

Bakura, Seth, and Malik: *Laugh evilly*

Crissy: *Frantically tries to save Yami*

Other Authoresses: *Sip some of Pegasus's "Fruit Juice"*

Bakura: *Finally getting around Crissy's Katana* YES!!!! *Swings chainsaw at Yami's hair*

Chainsaw: *Breaks*

Yami's Hair: *Stays intact*

Malik: Pharaoh, what do you put IN that stuff!!??

Yami: Do you really want me to answer that question?


Crissy: You mean your hair can't break??

Yami: Not a chance!

Crissy: Oh..I'll just let them chase you then..

Yami: NOOO!!! I mean, of course it can break!!!

Seth and Malik: *Have taken the discussion for the opportunity to sneak around behind Yami and Crissy*

Seth and Malik: *Swing chainsaws simultaneously*

Chainsaws: *Break instantly*

Seth: WHAT?

Malik: THE?

Seth: FOO?

Jewel: You realize that we never actually accomplished what we were supposed to with these, right?

Nat: That's OK.

Daine: Yeah! It provided entertainment! And we WERE supposed to do that!

Crissy: No! We were NOT supposed to attack Yami's hair!

Malik: We weren't?

Bakura: Why not? Seth: I honestly don't know..

Crissy: BECAUSE HE'S THE PHARAOH!!! *Attacks with Katana and Kendo sticks*

Nat: As much fun as that looks..

Daine: Don't even think it.

Jewel: You honestly should not go near Crissy when she's got a Kendo stick.

Daine: *Nodding* It's dangerous.

Crissy: *Somehow has managed in those four lines to knock out Seth, Bakura, and Malik*

Jewel: CRISSY!!! Now we have to wait to get them the next item!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daine: Why do I get the feeling that every chapter is gonna end with them being knocked out?

Jewel: Not EVERYONE got knocked out..

Nat: *Nods, then calmly knocks out Yami*

Crissy: NAT!!!

Nat: What? He MIGHT have just had a little too much fruit juice..right?

Crissy: WRONG!


So just hit the little button..

You know it's there..


Now type something in..

Something that doesn't involve flames..

Or..since we now control more than enough of the millennium items...

We will hunt you down..

And -

Crissy: JEWEL!! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT!!! *Resumes fighting*

Jewel: Sorry bad..