Author's Note: Once again I make my triumphant return! Oh no dear readers, fret not, we're not done with Max yet! And to those who prod my lazy arse to continue, thank you. And I love the reviews, so feel free to comment, and if you have a creative flame, it's more than welcome. I believe I've only had one semi-flame, and it wasn't even original. Come on now people!

Chapter 7

Max was once again situated comfortably at the helm. Her raven hair billowed in the wind, not enough so that it got into a tangled mess, but enough to look sexy and wild. Yet even though she was supposed to be concentrated on the direction of the massive ship, her gaze kept straying to the two men on deck. Captain Jack Sparrow and the luckless blacksmith Will Turner were standing in some sort of stupor. Truthfully, they couldn't move because the author had not yet decided what to do with them. Apparently the art of 'plot-twists' had failed her once again.

Yet suddenly, a twisted idea began to grow.

The sky immediately darkened overhead and the whitecaps in the water increased. Dark and foreboding was the immediate atmosphere, but for once Max found herself affected by it. This was not subtle foreshadowing of a dramatic scene involving her, she had no immediate plans to upset the delicate balance she had just restored to her men.

But author had plans of her own.

"Man overboard!" came the cry from one of the generic crewmen.

Max scowled and looked into the frothy water. No....she wouldn't dare....
Will and Jack immediately ran to the side of the ship and prepared to hoist somebody onto deck. To Max, this seemed all too familiar to the way her adventure had started.

A young woman was pulled onto the wooden planks of the Black Pearl.

Max immediately released the great wheel of the ship. There were much more important things now to look to than the safety of the ship.

Her turquoise eyes blazed with every step she took, her fury mounting within her. For she could make out that it was indeed a young woman that had been pulled on deck, but one with indistinct features and coloring to her. She almost looked like a blank paper doll, just waiting for somebody to pick up and play with.

Max paused, uncertain of this new creature.

The two men, however, were instantly cooing and comforting the thing pulled on board. Muffled cries of 'are you okay?' and 'don't worry, you're safe now' came to Max's ears over the din of the increasing winds.

The paper-doll like creature formed words of its own. "Where am I?"

The voice was as indistinct as the rest of her and was seemingly a mix of several voices all jumbled into one.

"Was your ship attacked by pirates?" Will asked in earnest. Or as earnest as he could possibly be with the lack of character depth to him.

"Yes," declared the doll in a sorrow-filled voice, or voices, and then apparently appeared to pass out.

"I will take her down into my quarters so she can rest," Will said immediately, gathering the creature in her arms.

"Savvy," Captain Jack Sparrow protested. His savvy obviously meant that he was annoyed because Will had gotten to take care of the last damsel in distress.

"No, you can have Max," Will said as he struggled to stand and pass Jack by.

"Savvy!" Jack yelled.

Max's sequin-like eyes narrowed at the overheard conversation. This was not supposed to happen, not in her story!

And then she heard it.

It was a muted voice, and only occasionally audible due to the way it was twisted by the wind, but she heard it nonetheless.

'You are lost at sea and rescued by the Black Pearl. Once taken on board Will and Jack fight over which one is to take care of you.'

Max let out a small curse. The author had turned on her!

The story had changed its direction from a standard Mary-Sue to the increasingly popular and even more annoying 'You' stories.

Max threw back her head and screamed her rage at the sky. How could the author do this to her? Surely whoring for reviews had sunken to an all- new level.

Will walked right past her with the 'thing' in his arms and didn't even look her way.

"Will!" Max called after him. But he kept going.

Max turned and saw Jack still standing stupidly on the deck. The author was still incapable of concerning herself with more than one character at a time, leaving large amounts of dead space.

"Jack," she called stepping towards him, "Jack dear, it's me."

Jack turned his eyes towards her, but that was all he was able to do at the moment. However Max could see the inner struggle going on within him, but she was hesitant to do too much to upset him in case he somehow gained his true character back like the disaster in the last chapter.

Max stepped closer to him and gave him a small smile. However as soon as she did her head spun and she doubled over slightly. She was short of breath and had to wait until everything stilled again.

No, it couldn't be.

She was losing her uber-cool and super-magikal Sue powers. The 'You' creature was sucking up all of author's attention and limited creativity! If Max didn't act soon, she would fade away and become like the crewmen, if she stayed alive at all. Now that would be a true tragedy. *cough*sarcasm*cough*

Max called on the last of her uber-Sue powers and gave Jack another smile. It seemed to work, his dark eyes cleared and he looked at her.

"Jack my dear," she said in a low voice standing very close to him, "you have to rid your ship of this new abomination. Your faithful crew and the very ship that you worked so hard to get back are in danger. She is one of Barbossa's crew in disguise! She will kill us all!"

Jack frowned at the thought and his hand went for his sword.

Max silently urged him on, not wanting to risk anything by saying anymore. Finally she leaned even closer to his ear and whispered, "Go, kill her now before you die!"

With a valiant "Savvy!" Jack charged below deck his sword held high.

Max collapsed to the floor of the deck, her eyes dulling to a normal brown. Looking over her shoulder, she could also see her long, thick, and onyx hair also turning a normal shade of brown while simultaneously shortening and developing split ends.

Oh God no, she was turning normal!

"Hurry," Max muttered through clenched teeth which might have been turning slightly yellow, she wasn't sure.

Meanwhile, Jack burst into Will's chambers. The paper-doll figure was leaned out on the bed, Will leaning over it and holding its hand. He looked up when Jack entered and stood slowly when he saw the wild look in Jack's eye.

The paper-doll thing seemed to wake up then, author sensing an impending battle that was no doubt over the hand of 'You'.

"Savvy!" Jack shouted urgently.

"No," poor Will said his own hand going for his sword. "I will not let you have her."

Jack shook his head, that was not what he meant. But since he obviously had no way to explain himself in cool pirate slang, he was only able to rush Will. And both of them, apparently oblivious to the fact that they had just dueled little more than let's say, three hours ago, fought with full strength.

"She is mine!" Will shouted.

'You are frightened as the two swarthy pirate men fight over You, their bodies glistening with sweat and their muscles bulging. Although terrified, You can't help but feel a sense of thrill at the animalistic display before You.'

The two men stopped fighting.

"What was that voice?" Will asked.

Jack gestured pointedly at the thing on the bed. It was because of her.

"But that almost seems like a fell voice on the air," Will mumbled. And then he frowned. Why did he keep saying these things that seemed like they belonged somewhere else? It was almost as if somebody kept confusing him with somebody else.

Jack took advantage of the momentarily confused Will and pushed past him grabbing onto the creature. This was not what author had in mind.

He flung the creature over his shoulder and started to upper-deck. Will followed, eager to know why he had these odd feelings all the time.

The creature began to kick and scream as Jack walked over to the side of the ship. This was definitely not what the author had in mind. It tried to stare into Jack's eyes and seduce him with Sue powers, but since the ubiquitous 'You' Sue could not be distinctly defined she lacked dazzling color to her eyes, which was of course the power-center for all Sue powers. Because why else would so much time be spent on describing eyes if they did not hold some special purpose?

Immune to the colorless eyes, Jack deftly pitched the creature overboard. Her scream ripped through the air, but oddly enough nobody came to her immediate aid. Even Will felt some sort of huge oppressive weight lift from his shoulder's as it happened.

The two men stood silently side by side, watching the creature flail about in water before eventually sinking. Because of course, since she is a 'You' Sue, some of the people reading can't swim.

"She was evil," Will finally said quietly. Jack nodded.

"Damn right she was," said a voice behind them.

Will and Jack turned to see Max standing behind them, her luminous eyes and fluorescent-like hair restored to their usual order. For as soon as the 'You' Sue was destroyed, she had regained her powers due to the lack of female competition.

And let's face it, an ordinary Sue is better than a 'You' Sue.