Author's Notes: All right, the diary thing's been done a million times, I know. But after reading Order of the Phoenix, I really, really wanted to know what was going on in Hermione's head, and of course, what was going on whenever Harry wasn't around. Thus, I started fooling around with the idea for this fic…

Seeing as it's essentially Hermione's diary, the chapters are actually going to be in the form of diary entries, meaning that some chapters will be extremely short, while others will be extremely long. I'll try to compensate for the short chapters by posting them two at a time, or updating really quickly between short entries. I think I'm also going to split up the fic into three different "books" – Book One being the summer, Book Two being September to New Year's, and Book Three being New Year's and on. Yeah. I put a lot of thought into this.

Just in case you were wondering, the idea for the title came from the book/movie "The Princess Diaries" by Meg Cabot. This isn't going to be in the same format as that book or anything, but the idea for this fic did come from that book, and sometimes I use the same quirky, humorous tone.

Spoilers: This thing is based upon Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, so if you haven't read it…what the hell are you waiting for?! Go! Buy it, read it, then fantasize about what the movie's gonna be like! Yay!

Since this is based on Order of the Phoenix, but it's from Hermione's point of view, you're going to see a lot of the same scenes Harry does in OotP…just from Hermione's perspective. But you'll also see stuff that Hermione does and Harry doesn't (eg. the beginning of the summer at Grimmauld place; what she and Ron do when they're off alone, wink wink, nudge nudge…j/k). I'm also putting in scenes where Harry was present, they were unimportant to him, so we wouldn't have gotten to see these scenes in OotP. That's going to be the fun of this…making up stuff that Harry didn't see or didn't care to mention. Mwahaha.

Also, as I said before, most of this is going to be funny and quirky, but since it is based on OotP, as the year progresses and random bad stuff happens, it'll get dark at times too. Just warning you.

Another warning: Had to mention the inevitable…it's not going to be the main focus, but there will be a little bit of R/H in here. A little more than the book had, since it's from Hermione's perspective. That's also where the fun's at. Heh heh heh…

Is anyone still reading these notes? No? Good! Without further ado, I present to you…

The Sorceress Diaries

Journal of Hermione Granger, aged fourteen and ten months

Monday, 3 July

8:47 a.m.

I, Hermione Granger, vowed long ago never to start a diary. Diaries are a waste of time. Diaries are for writing about crushes and dances and the like. Diary entries begin with, "Dear Diary", as if the book is a real person - which is silly, because I've only known of one diary that was actually somewhat of a real person, and it ended up being an instrument of evil which forced Ginny to open the Chamber of Secrets and release a deadly snake bent on murdering Muggle-borns.

For these reasons, and many more, I decided I would never, ever start a diary.

Therefore, I have started a journal.

I have several good reasons (and, admittedly, some not-so-good reasons) for starting a journal, as outlined below:

1) I am going completely mad, and it's only the third day of holidays. The Daily Prophet has absolutely no news whatsoever concerning that small incident which happened last month involving the most feared Dark wizard of our time. Argh! Fudge heard what Harry said happened with You-Know-Who, but due to the fact that he's a complete imbecile, he not only sucked the soul out of the only person who could have proved Harry's story, but he also completely dismissed what Harry had to say as a product of Harry's "troubled mind and over-active imagination". Moreover, I think the Ministry is leaning heavily on the Daily Prophet not to report anything suspicious, and also to discredit Harry in every way possible. There's nothing directly about Harry, of course…just little puns and comments about him…like he's some big joke or something!

In short, You-Know-Who is back, he could be plotting to kill one of my best friends and/or create chaos and turmoil in the wizarding world, and our so-called government is completely ignoring all of this, therefore there is no news, therefore I have no idea what's going on! I've only heard from poor Harry once so far, and he sounded almost as frustrated as I feel. I wrote to Ron as soon as I got home from King's Cross, but I haven't received anything back from him yet, which is surprising, because he's usually the first person I get mail from on summer holidays. I'm sure he's just busy…Ginny hasn't written me either, after all…

2) Largely due to reason #1, I need somewhere to vent my frustration and put down my thoughts. Right now they're all swirling around in my head and I have no one to talk to about any of this and I can't stand it! I wish I had a Pensieve, but they're very rare, and according to Magic Devices and Their Prices, are also very expensive. Emma Crick's mother says a diary (journal) would be ideal for me, because I am anti-social and have difficulty communicating my thoughts and feelings in verbal form; therefore writing my feelings down is the only way I can achieve emotional satisfaction. Hoo-ray.

Off-topic, but necessary to discuss: Emma Crick's mother is a psychiatrist. She is a divorcée, because she cannot say that she is divorced, like normal people. I despise both Emma Crick, who has hated and tortured me since kindergarten, and her mother. Unfortunately, they happen to live next door to us, and I have to put up with the two of them every single summer. Mum is much too kind and/or naïve for her own good, and always politely invites Mrs. Crick in for a cup of tea when she "unexpectedly" shows up on our doorstep, which occurs every day promptly at three o'clock. Then Mrs. Crick comes in and analyzes my entire family, as well as all the neighbours, while Mum tries to be a polite listener. Mrs. Crick believes she's got me all psychiatrically figured out, even though she thinks I go to a private school in Norwich and doesn't realize that I could turn her into a toad if I really wanted to.

So after an hour or two of gossiping and spewing psychiatric rubbish, Mrs. Crick leaves, having poisoned my mother's mind with her psychoanalytic suggestions. Don't get me wrong – Mum is smart, and even she is getting a bit tired of Mrs. Crick's frequent visits. But I think that deep down, she's starting to believe the rubbish Mrs. Crick feeds her.

However, Dad says Mrs. Crick is a twit, and I am inclined to agree.

Even though I despise Mrs. Crick, after formulating this list in my head, I decided that the pros of starting a journal outweigh the cons (the only con being the horrible knowledge that I actually followed that cow's advice).

Back on-topic…

3) I always write down a list of weekly goals every Monday. It keeps me focused and organized. This journal is an ideal place to write down my list of weekly goals, instead of on spare pieces of parchment that I always seem to leave lying around, making it very easy for either Ron, Parvarti, or Lavender to find, and then they would laugh at me. Harry would not laugh at me about weekly goals. At least not to my face.

4) A very small part of me is frightened. Frightened for Harry…for obvious reasons. Frightened for Ron, because Professor Dumbledore is going to be relying on his parents and his older brothers to do some possibly dangerous tasks now. And yes, I'll admit, I'm somewhat frightened for myself and my family. Because everyone knows that last time, You-Know-Who killed hundreds of Muggles. Muggle-borns, specifically. And if it's true that Malfoy's father is a Death Eater…I mean, I heard what Malfoy said on the train: "They'll be first to go, now the Dark Lord's back! Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first!"

I haven't told Mum and Dad anything about You-Know-Who. I don't think it's wise. Plus, how are people who don't even understand what Arithmancy is going to understand the implications of You-Know-Who's return?

Then again, Ron doesn't understand what Arithmancy is either, so there you are.

5) I already miss Ron and Harry. That's not really a reason for starting a journal, but I do all the same.

In summary: I am bored, frustrated, anxious, scared, and lonely. I can't talk to my parents about anything magical, I have no friends here, and I can't have a proper talk with anyone by owl; letters just aren't the same as having an actual conversation with someone. (Eg. Viktor, whose writing is, unfortunately, nearly illegible, and his written English isn't nearly as good as his spoken English. It's just not the same as having a real conversation with him.)

Mum was all for Mrs. Crick's advice for me to start a diary (journal). I suspect that this is because she hopes to find it and discover that, secretly, I really am interested in boys and makeup and fashion. I love Mum dearly, and I know she loves me too, but I think that she sometimes secretly wishes for a daughter who was a bit more…girly.

Anyway, there is absolutely no way that she'll be able to read this journal. I bought this book in Diagon Alley last year with no specific purpose in mind, except that I thought it was very interesting. Now I'm glad that I did buy it, as it's quite convenient for a journal. You see, as soon as I turn the page, my writing disappears, and it will only re-appear when the page is once again touched by me, and only me. So if Mum thinks she's going to come up to my bedroom and sneak a peak at my journal, I'm afraid she's going to be quite disappointed when she finds a completely blank book. Mrs. Crick will love that, if Mum tells her.

I sincerely hope that Mrs. Crick never meets Harry, because she would probably go berserk thinking up all sorts of nasty psychoanalytic terms to describe him. Love-starved childhood, several brushes with death, current anger and frustration at the world…he's like Mrs. Crick's dream patient come true.

Hm. I think Harry should start a journal, because I feel much, much better already.

Weekly Goals

1) Begin rigorous revising schedule (in somewhat of an attempt to beat boredom). Go over all old notes in preparation for September. Begin with Transfiguration notes this week.

2) Try to convince Dad that a trip to London would be fun and beneficial to the family, since we are not going on holidays this summer. In London, somehow cleverly slip away from parents and into Diagon Alley to get some decent reading from Flourish and Blotts. Have read every single book in the house at least three times already, including that romance novel Aunt Lottie bought me for Christmas two years ago.

3) Write to Ron again, demand as to why he hasn't written me back yet! Write to Ron again, sound cool, casual, and aloof, do not mention the fact that he hasn't written me back yet. Do not write to Ron again; instead, wait patiently for him to write, which he will, and then take sweet time to write back to him.

4) Write back to Viktor. Include helpful grammar tips?

5) Look up psychoanalytic in the dictionary to find out if it's actually a word.