DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki
Hope you like my first fanfic, please review :0)


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A Bad Hair Day

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"Hakkai! Will Sanzo be long? I'm hungry" moaned Goku.

Hakkai smiled. "Sanzo will be back as soon as the meeting with the Aspects is over."

"Ha! The monk can stay there as long as he wants to as far as I'm concerned!" snorted Goyjo. "Game of cards anyone?"

-v-v-v-

"Ok," said Sanzo scowling, "What's up now?"

The three Aspects glared back at him.

"You should have more respect for the voices of Kanzeon Bosatsu!" said one of them.

"That's right," added the second, "after all, we have given you your gold card you know!"

They do have a point there, thought Sanzo.

"Coming down to business...we have to discuss something about your behavior," murmured the third.

Why do I feel a headache coming on? If these idiots think I'm going to stop smoking or drinking!

"It's your hair Genjo Sanzo!" moaned the three Aspects, "How many respectable Sanzos do you know who go around with hair?"

Sanzo stared at them open mouthed. They had to be joking.

"We allowed Komyou Sanzo to have his little…eccentricities because he never left his temple! You instead, keep on gallivanting round the country!"

And whose fault is that I'd like to know?

"You don't seem to realise the devastating effect you might have on our monasteries!" screamed one of the Aspects.

Sanzo blinked. "What effect?"

The three Aspects stared at him. How could a man of such a high rank and intelligence fail to understand their plight? On the other hand, he was after all, Komyou Sanzo's disciple.

"Don't you understand?" squealed another. "What if other monks followed your example, and demanded that the rule be changed? It would be completely disastrous!"

Probably make monks more attractive… What difference did it make?

"SHAMPOO!" they wailed together. "The incredible EXPENSE!"

"Can you imagine," sniffed one of them, "how much it would cost to spend all that money for shampoo and conditioner for all those monks?"

"That's not all!" said the other, tears filling her eyes, "then they'd want gel, mousse and oil! As likely as not, some would demand highlights, perms or straightening!"

The three of they glared at Sanzo. "YOU MUST CUT YOUR HAIR BEFORE YOU SET A BAD EXAMPLE!"

Meanwhile Sanzo was staring at the floor, his golden bangs covering his face and his shoulders shaking. Someone who didn't know him, might even say that he was…laughing?

"Well?" demanded one of the three Aspects, "What is your answer?"

"Forget it." Sanzo looked back defiantly at them. "I am not cutting my hair."

"Do you realise what you have just done!" the Three Aspects moaned, "You will have to be removed from your position and someone else will take your place!"

"No problem'" said Sanzo removing his habit. "When can I quit?"

v-v-v-v

"Hey Sanzo!" yelled Goku when he saw him approach. "I'm hungry! I want..." Suddenly Goku faltered. "Sanzo? Is that you?"

Gojyo and Hakkai looked up from their game of cards to see… Sanzo wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt? And who was that round little monk bobbing beside him?

" Sanzo," said Hakkai nervously, "I don't want to interfere or anything but… I mean… Is everything fine?"

The monk, a fifty something guy, round in the middle and completely bald on top decided to put his oar in. "He is not going to accompany you any longer. He had been removed from his current position due to having disobeyed a direct order from the three aspects to cut his hair. I," Here the monk looked at them with obvious pride, "have been chosen to lead you through this long and arduous journey, my children."

"Well, I'll just leave you to it then." Sanzo walked off jauntily leaving the trio looking at the new monk flabbergasted. Luckily, the Three Aspects forgot to take back his gold card, and Sanzo planned to take full advantage of that fact.

"Well my sons," beams the monk, "let us proceed along our journey."

Three days later the three Aspects got a surprise visit.

"I quit." The poor monk was shaking, almost crying. "I can't bear it. I'm already taking pills to try to survive. They drink, they swear, they fight, they kill, they play cards, the read haired freak runs after women, the golden-eyed brat is always eating, and the monocle guy is always smiling that same sodding smile. I can't sleep, I can't eat, even when I'm taking Prozac I see demons everywhere trying to take that bloody sutra… Iquitican'tbearitanylongerthey'redrivingmecrazy." He exited crying and screaming, beating his head with his fists.

The three Aspects look at each other. "Seems we have to get Genjo Sanzo back on the job" sighed one of them.

"Oh well…" said the other wearily, "we can always tell the monks that he wears his hair long to cover his scars or something of the sort. Hopefully, he'll be dead soon."

-v-v-v-

"I'm glad you're back, Sanzo," said Hakkai, smiling, "I'm afraid your... replacement wasn't well adapted to our style of life."

"He tried to make me stop eating meat!" Goku looked scandalised at the very thought.

Goyjo snorted. "Gave me a lecture on the impropriety of my behaviour towards women and the disgraceful manner in which we behaved." Goyjo shuddered. "He tried making me quit cigarettes too! Huh… and him a drug junkie swallowing pills everytime he thought our back was turned.

"Ch." was all Sanzo had to say. Three days in a hotel all alone had done a lot to make him feel better, but it was getting on his nerves to have to one to fight with. 5 star hotels don't provide youkai unfortunately. Hell, he was almost (only almost though) glad to be back (though he'd rather have died than admit it)!

"Sanzo! I'm hungry!"

"Urusei!" and out came the harisen…yes, well… he was glad to be back.