Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.
Author's Note: Many thanks to Lady Thundera for her tips about writing G/CC fics. Without them, I might have chickened out of writing this. Read her fics, if you haven't already, they're excellent! I really hope this isn't too fluffy or OC. Everyone who doesn't think Chi-Chi a bitch knows that she really does care about her family --- especially Goku --- she just worries a lot. Think about it: would you let your four/five year-old son risk his life to safe the world? Would you be frustrated if your husband wasn't around much, even if he was saving the world? And while we all know that while Goku is a sweet guy, he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Everybody has lost patience with him a lot in the show. All right, on with the story.
So Much to Tell You
"You are not going to die," Chi-Chi said firmly, wiping Goku's forehead with a wet cloth.
Those words had become her mantra ever since Yamcha had brought him back home, unconscious, from the battle with the Androids. Even when he had told her about Trunks's warning about the future, she still kept saying it. She had to; it was her only reassurance that she wasn't going to lose him again.
And he was getting better; she could feel it. His fever was breaking and he hadn't had a single seizure since earlier that morning. Still, he wasn't out of the woods yet. She'd breathe freely when Goku was awake.
It was now late at night. Goku's friends had moved him to Master Roshi's house so that he'd be safe from the Androids. She was staying awake to make sure Goku was sleeping all right; Gohan had wanted to stay up too, but she had sent him to bed. If he didn't get enough sleep, his studies would take a definite downturn…
And everyone needed him to help fight (although she hated to admit it), with the Androids and this new monster at loose.
"You won't die," she said firmly. "Not like this. I don't understand how you could in Trunks's time…"
It didn't make any sense. Her husband was the strongest man in the universe; he had defeated many enemies, escaped an exploding planet, and even returned from the dead. How could a heart virus be the thing to end it all?
It isn't going to happen, she thought. My Goku's tougher than some stupid virus. He's getting better; he's going to make it.
"I met Trunks today," she said to him, as though they were having an everyday conversation. "He seems like a nice boy. It's hard to believe that he's Bulma and Vegeta's son. "I mean, they're last two people I'd expect to have a son together." She smiled, imagining what Goku's reaction must have been when he found out three years earlier…
"Anyway, he told me a little bit about the future --- his future," she corrected herself. "He told me some things that I --- the future me, actually --- told him."
Chi-Chi hesitated. "Well, he said I had a lot of regrets. One of them was that I had lot of things that I didn't get the chance to tell you."
She hesitated, listening to the sound of the waves outside. The wind breathed slightly through the open window. Had she not been so concerned about Goku at the moment, she would have noticed that it was a beautiful night.
She took a deep breath. "And I think I should tell you those things before anyone else happens…
"First of all, I know I haven't I haven't been pleasant to be around lately. And I wasn't supportive of you and Gohan fighting either… but that's because I --- I'm scared," she summarized lamely. "Scared of losing you and Gohan. Do you think I don't worry every time the two of you go off to fight? You got yourself killed once, and Piccolo kidnapped Gohan to train him…"
She trailed off, remembering that difficult year. Not a moment had passed without her wondering if she'd ever see her family again. The house had been depressingly quiet without the boys to liven things up. She would given anything to hear Gohan ask if he could take a break from studying, or Goku ask for something to eat…
"Then you came back. I know I was angry with you for letting Gohan fight, but the truth was that I was so happy to have you two back that I wasn't about to let either of you out of my sight again."
She sighed, frowning. "And what happened after that? You left again, to go to Namek. It was almost like that year the two of you were gone had never ended. I was pretty fed up at this point. I know you went there to help Gohan and bring back the others. But I started to wonder if you even cared how lonely I was without you…
"That's why I was about ready to take go to Namek to bring you guys back home. I just couldn't stand being alone anymore. Only Gohan returned before I could go, and I was glad, although you didn't come back for another two years.
"When you finally came back, there was another fight at hand. You went off to train more, taking Gohan with you. You were hardly around the house; that's the reason why I was so frustrated with you all of the time…" her voice broke, affected by her own words.
"Why do you always have to leave?" she asked sadly, even though she knew he couldn't respond. "Couldn't you just stay home like you used to? Because every time you leave, it makes me so…" She struggled to find the right words to explain.
"It's like you take a piece of me with you. There's a hole inside of me, and it stays there until I see you again. I know the world needs you… but I need you too." She took his hand and held it. "I don't know what I'd do without you…"
And it was true. Despite how much he drove her crazy by asking her for food, whisking Gohan away to train, she couldn't imagine her life without him. There was no one as sweet and gentle as Goku. No matter how many times he left to fight, there was no one else in this world for her, and there never would be.
She knew that Goku didn't mean to hurt her by leaving; he was too naïve to fully understand it. But every time it happened, she still worried. She still felt angry. And she still felt that hole inside of her.
Yet he always came back, and that knowledge kept her going.
"It's almost the same thing when Gohan leaves. He's my little boy; I just want what's best for him. I want him to be safe, so that I don't have to worry about him as much as I worry about you. I know that he's strong --- both of you are. But I still worry. I always will… because I love you so much. And I miss you…"
Chi-Chi paused to wipe her streaming eyes. She didn't expect so much to come pouring out. Until now, she had been keeping these thoughts bottled up for a very long time. Bits and pieces of it had sometimes been let when she was angry with Goku, but she had never explained her entire feelings.
"This is so much easier to say when you're unconscious," she muttered, managing a small, nervous laugh. She stroked his spiky black hair with her free hand.
"Everyone misses you," she went on. "And that's why you aren't going to die --- not now...."
For a while, she sat there, staring at his sleeping form. I wonder if he could hear anything that I said, she wondered. Well, in any case, I'm glad I told him.
Suddenly, she felt a slight pressure on her hand. She looked down to see Goku's hand gently squeezing her own. Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Goku?" she whispered hoarsely. "Is --- Is that you? Can you hear me?"
There was no response, he continued to sleep. But it was clear that although he couldn't speak, he had heard her, and he had understood.
Smiling, she bent down and kissed his forehead tenderly. Everything is going to be all right, she thought in relief. He isn't going to die.
"Get well soon, Goku," she said softly. "I have so much to tell you… and I'd like to say it when you're awake…"