SW: KotOR (Game)
WARNING: This will spoil LARGE parts of the game, please do not read if you do not with to have the major plot points given away. Furthermore, this references only one path the player may take to the ending. (Female, Scoundrel, Light Side character)
Standard Disclaimer: Universe and characters are property of George Lucas and Lucas Arts Game Company. The work below is one of fanfiction, written by Allronix. No profit or insult is intended by this piece.
Summary: In light of a shocking revelation, the fate of a galaxy is forever changed, and so are the perceptions of those who may change it.
Hard to believe...So damn hard to believe!
Sure, we heard the stories. Revan the Jedi, whose tactics were frighteningly clever, if a bit on the cold-blooded side. When it comes to war, though, every bet's off. Officers can talk what they want about honor and rules of war, but when you're out there, there are no damn rules. Take it from the guy who's been on the front lines since before he even needed to shave.
I've got a few medals from the Mandalorian War. Those guys were brutal, fighting like they were crazy, but with a swiftness and surety that announced they weren't. Back then, the names Revan and Malak were used as a battle cry for the Republic - the names of the guys who would go head to head with the Mandalorians, making those pirates quake in their boots. Malak was the right hand man, and Revan was leading the charge with everything the Force could summon.
But that battle in the Outer Rim - Great Stars! I didn't get to see it from where I was stationed, but I heard all about it...knew a lot of guys that didn't come back from it, either. Mandalor himself was killed, his followers scattered to a handful, fighting until almost the last man.
It didn't take long for the name of the Revan to turn into a curse. Folks thought the Sith ideas were destroyed with Exar Kun and the rest of them. There were a lot of arcane issues involved in that war that the Jedi will bend your ear about, philosophies and theories about the Dark Side...Well, they can keep those. They don't mean a lot to me, really. All we knew was that Revan and Malak were back, and they sure weren't heroes. Something happened to twist and corrupt them, turn them into something that made us nostalgic for the Mandalorian raids. Planets were turned to ash, fleets were decimated or turned from the Republic to follow them, and their resources seemed limitless.
Once again, we heard stories of Revan, said to be a powerful man larger than life, a legendary warrior who could kill with a thought and who had the charisma to inspire and terrify the vast Sith armies.
All so damn hard to believe, then...How could it be true? How in the vastness of the universe, the way of the Force, could this be true?
Saul, once my commander, now my slain foe. As he dies, he laughs at me.
"She is Revan," he says with his dying breath, flicking a finger to gesture to the woman behind me. "And you never knew..."
It feels like I've been shot, even if the pain's all in my mind. My brain races. It can't be true! There's....there's no damn way! Looking over my shoulder, I look her in the eye, the woman I knew as Seeira Jast, and I relive the past couple months in the space of a breath.
Bastila brought her aboard the Endar Spire, and I remember shrugging it off. The lady did have an entourage - a handful of Jedi, a couple Republic guards. Seeira stood out. She was a civilian, with a cover story that she used to be a smuggler the Republic recruited to help them navigate Sith blockades. She just didn't seem to fit, somehow, but Jedi are a breed unto themselves, so I paid it no attention. I just remember seeing her right at Bastila's side, and never away from her sight.
When all hell broke loose, we were the last to get away from the Spire. When we crashed on Taris, I was all right, but she was badly injured. I remember picking her up and carrying her into the abandoned apartment. She seemed so fragile that I'd thought I'd break her. Seeira's a small woman, barely comes up to my shoulder, and she's got the bone structure of a bird.
This is so different than the stories I've heard. Wasn't Revan supposed to be a giant of a man, tall and strong? The most frightening warrior the Republic's seen to date? How can it be true?
But I know Saul too well. That son of a rancor doesn't bother to lie when he can kill with truth. I've seen Seeira fight. Little damn wonder she was able to learn it all so quickly…she was just remembering how. She's guarded my back and bailed me out everywhere from the Spire to the undercity of Taris, and all the way up there to the bridge of the Leviathan. She's been at my back and I've been at hers. I've seen her take a shot that would have killed me. I always admired how someone her size could be so impressive in a brawl. She's even made that Mandalorian merc we picked up show respect.
So, I know now...I know how she could have fought them as Revan.
I also saw Reven's legendary charisma. She's got a voice like an angel, and the persuasion of a born con artist. That was why I bought her story about being a smuggler at first. In that line of work, you have to be able to talk your way out of trouble, or talk your way into it. She's not like some commander that shows you the rank pips and demands respect. She never had to. Dark Side of the Force, would you check out the crew that's aboard the Hawk? Two burnt-out Jedi, a killer android with some serious screws loose, a Mandilorian, a Wookie chieftain, a Twi'lek street girl, Bastila, and me. Most anyone else trying to lead that, and we'd be killing each other before we left space dock.
That charisma certainly got to me, maybe more than anyone else. Maybe that's why I feel so betrayed. If you let yourself be persuaded, you let yourself trust, and you can get yourself tricked.
Looking in Seeira's eyes, I look for answers, but she can't give me any. Deep down, I know...Deep down, she knows. I'm hoping it's not an act, the look of shock and the cry of betrayal that catches in her throat as she turns from me to Bastila.
Bastila reluctantly confirms the horrible truth. "You're mind was gone, but your body still held a spark of life. Through the Force, I was able to keep you alive…to rebuild your mind…"
I barely hear it. This is worse that the torture cells…at least there, Seeira was still Seeira.
When we were hiding out on Taris, I kept a vigil as Revan...Seeira...rode out some nasty dreams. Not dreams, I suppose...memories would be more like it. I know what it's like to have the hells of your past greet you when your eyes are closed. What was Seeira remembering...or should I call her Revan? Does she remember destroying all those lives? All the blood she waded in? She said she didn't remember much before the attack on the Endar Spire, and I remembered chalking that up to the injuries she took when we crashed. I remember watching her so many times on the Ebon Hawk, staring out into the darkness of space, trying to find something...anything.
Moments like those, I still watched her. Maybe she knew I was there, maybe not. It sticks as the definitive image of her in my mind. She looked so sad, so strong and vulnerable at the same time.
So achingly beautiful.
It took all I could summon not to walk into the room and pull her from the chair, press her to me and feel what it would be like to kiss her. In more than a few dreams, I've heard that soft, angelic voice call out my name over and over as I would take her to my bunk and we'd create some new memories to fill the voids.
Damn it! SHE'S responsible for those voids! How could she? How could I?
I'm still kneeling on the Leviathan's bridge, surrounded by the stink of death and the smell of ozone left behind in the wake of the lightsabres.
Saul lets out a last shudder and dies. Lucky bastard. Right now, I want to join him.