Invisible

AN:

I don't own Harry Potter,

My friends and I had a challenge going on between us, we each picked a song and did a different angst fic... and we raced one another to see who got done first... HEY! at least we didn't write one of the weird things we do at midnight when we are all online!

START TIME: 12:50am

No one ever notices me. I'm pratically invisible. I admit it, I'm no great scholar like Hermione Granger, nor am I as brave as Harry Potter. Heck, I'm pratically a squib, and I know half the school thinks I don't belong here. I have no best friends, and most of the time my only companion is my toad. And even HE tries to run away from me. But I am here. And I do have a temper. If you know which buttons to push.

Hello I'm here to invite you

To things you cannot feel

and if you push me too far

You might believe I'm real

I see almost everything in this school, but I'm not sure how Dumbledore does when he's so visible to everyone. I saw how Draco Malfoy cursed Pansy Parkison for flinching when he reached toward her. I don't know exactly what it was called, but it was a horrible curse. She squirmed horribly and cried. I think my gram told me about that curse. How technically it was legal, but should be classified an unforgivable. It acts just like a demontor does, taking away all of your happy memories, leaving only the bad. And it lasted for a long while. A half an hour.

I also saw how Roger Davies acted around his girlfriend. He held her to him possessivly even though she squirmed in his grip. And he doesn't let anyone talk. No one. He cursed Terry Boot when he tried to ask her for help with his homework.

But no one ever sees me. I stay in the shadows and watch everyone else live. I can do whatever I want and my gram doesn't see. I save momentos from my parents. My mother has a habit of giving me bubblegum wrappers. I have a whole cupboard of them. My dad is worse off than my mum. He only stares at the ceiling, or wall, or whatever he is facing.

Teeth scrape beneath the sweater

To when you hate and steal

Or do you think it better

To obsess and not reveal

I can see everyone's secret, and I can see how it shapes them. No one knows my secret. And although some may think they do they don't. They think my secret is of my parents. Well, that is a secret, but its not the one that effects me everyday. If anyone would bother to even see my secret they could. But I would lie. They wouldn't find out. Everyone is happier when they are naive. This too I've learned by being invisible.

I know your secret

It scrapes you way down

Everything was clean

Now everything's brown

Lavender Brown is a belimic. I tried to confront her, but she said she just wasn't feeling well. I realized I was defeated and sank into my own secret to release some of the pain I almost always feel.

Seamus is gay. He doesn't want to tell his parents. He's currently going steady with Justin Finch-Fletchy. No one knows this besides them. And me of course. The invisible one. I talked to Seamus about it. He denied it. He said that he had his eyes on Lavender and that was why he was with no one at the moment. Evidently he didn't realize that I could see them constantly brushing up against each other and blushing.

I again retreated into my secret to help me understand that I was invisible. I couldn't change anything. So I watched as I came closer to true invisiblity.

Don't try to hide it

Know you cannot feel

What you are is something

that I won't reveal

You are probably wondering what my secret is. My secret is a desire everyone has once in a while. Though no one would act upon it. Its 'vulger' and 'repulsive' to many. To me, its a beautiful release, when I can finally see that I am indeed coming closer to invisibilty.

Hello I'm here to invite you

To things you cannot feel

and if you fall apart

You'll pretend I'm not real

Harry tries to pretend he's not famous. But everyone knows he is. He knows he is and he's just fooling himself into thinking he's normal. He gets normal grades, has normal friends, and does normal things. All of these are a mask. I don't know exactly what his secrets are. There are too many of them, one upon the other to define one. Something about an order whispered here, Snuffles there, and Padfoot there. He disappears every year near the end of school and comes back battered and bruised. He always dreads leaving the school though, no matter what happens at the end of the year. His secrets are too much for even Dumbledore to decipher them all.

Then again, a person like me, who is invisible but pretends to be visible most of the time wouldn't know. The only time I am me, invisible, is when I take steps towards invisiblity.

You can't erase what you are

So don't even try

and how can I be truthful

When everything I am is a lie

How do I strive for invisibility you ask? Why that's simple. I make myself disapear. After all. If you are no there, you cannot be seen. But when its through, I'm brown, not invisible. At least until I wash the brown off. Then I'm back to being Neville Longbottom, the ignored boy with brown lines on him.

I know your secret

It scrapes you way down

Everything came clean

Now everything's brown

Maybe one day I'll show someone, maybe one day they will join me. After all, becoming invisible is like a high no one else but me knows. Watching your blood flow out of you as you dig the knife in deeper to your skin. But for now, I'll wear my robes dried blood alone. Hopefully no one finds out before I show them myself.

Don't try to hide it

When you dig to feel

When it falls apart

I hope I won't reveal

But I know I'm invisible, even if I'm visible. The blood tells me so. The blood tells me that everyone feels like this once in a while... The blood tells me the truth.... The blood tells me what is real and what is not.

Hello, remember

Hello, remember

Hello, remember

Hello

I'm real real real

You think I'm not real

STOP TIME: 1:35am

AN:

REVIEW! FLAME! CRITIZE I DON'T CARE!

PS Here are the addies for Zenya's, BadBoyLover's, and Virtie's angst fics which were written at the same time as mine.

BBL's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452139

Zenya's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452621

Virtie's: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1452167