Introducing Tenko

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, any of these

characters. Any resemblance to other people, living or dead,

fictional or real, is purely coincidental.

Tenchi Muyo! is owned by Pioneer and AIC. Please don't sue me.

This is purely non-profit. I am not entirely sure who owns Ranma

1/2, but it is not me. I'm not making any money off of this, so

please don't sue me.

Please send comments and criticism to FallenDruid@otakumail.com

*=italics

=thoughts

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The bartender looked over his bar. It was early in the day, and

his place was almost deserted. He only had three customers right

now, and one was the habitual drunk that almost no bar was free of.

But the other two were just kids. At least they weren't trying to

drown their sorrows in alcohol. They'd both just ordered water. Room

temperature water. And then gone to seperate tables and sat down.

Now they were just nursing their waters and looking like life has

thrown them a few too many curve balls. They both had black hair,

but one was short and spiky, with a rattail, and the others was

longer. Both were muscular, and moved with trained grace, but one of

them...his name was...Ranma, wasn't it? Moved with sure confidence,

almost arrogance. The other guy seemed more unsure of himself.

Ranma looked over at the other guys in the bar. It was pretty

quiet. But, then again, it *was* early in the day. The bartender

was your standard stocky genial type, the drunk in the corner seemed

to be a fixture at the place, and the only one, other than him,

outside the profile was the guy sitting at another table drinking...

yep. Uniced water. The same thing he was drinking. Ranma looked

down, at the puddle of liquid on the table, and slowly drew circles

in it. The eyes that looked back at him from the reflection were

tired.

Tenchi looked around the bar. It was the first bar he'd been in.

From the way Ryoko talked about this place, he had expected it to be

booming at any hour. It wasn't. Besides him, there were only 3

others in the bar, and one of them was the bartender. The next one

was a drunk, and, from what Ryoko said, was here all the time. The

last guy was a teen, about his age, with his head down, drawing

symbols in the liquid on his table. Oddly enough, the teen was

apparently drinking the same thing he was. Uniced water. "Hi. I'm

Tenchi."

The other boy looked up, almost warily. "Er...hi. I'm Ranma."

The two boys study each other in silence for a while.

"So, uh...Tenchi...what are you doing here?"

Tenchi snorted. "What does it look like? I'm drowning my sorrows

in water. Same as you, it looks like."

"Oh...is it that obvious?"

"Yes."

Several more moments pass in an uncomfortable silence.

"So...what are *you* drowning?"

"3 fiancees. And a girlfriend."

Tenchi sits up straight, and almost spits out the water he'd been

drinking. "*3 fiancees*?!"

"Yep." Ranma says grimly. "3 fiancees."

"How...how did *that* happen?"

"My pops is an idiot. Come to think of it, why are *you* in here

looking so grim?"

"I'm trying to adjust to my new life."

"Go on...trust me. It *can't* be any worse than mine."

Tenchi looks at him for a moment, then shrugs. "In a nutshell,

I've got...let me see...Mihoshi, Washu, Ryoko, Aeka...4 girlfriends,

all of whom have their own...unique...problems. And I'm also trying

to drown the memory of the last few 'vacations' that I went on."

"Come on...4 girlfriends? I've got 3 fiancees. Say, where'd you

go on your trip, anyways? I've been on a few bombs of trips myself.

"I'd rather forget about it. But...it may help to talk about it.

I, and my family and girlfriends went to China and had some rather

unfortunate

things happen to us there."

"Huh. Right."

After several more hours, and the telling of some tall tales(read:

carefully edited true stories) the two boys walked out of the bar

laughing. "...and then...then she said that she was Ryoko's

*mother*! Can you believe it! I mean, she lo...was 12 years old!"

"Oh that's rich!" Ranma looked up at the sky, which was dark and

cloudy. "Oh, well, I've got to be going. My fiancees will worry

about me." He laughs hollowly.

"Looks like rain." Tenchi peers upward. "Fortunately, I brought

my umbrella."

"Damn. I forgot mine." Now why would he bring an umbrella...it

was sunny when I came in, and he came in about 10 minutes after me...

Just then, thunder cracks, and it begins to drizzle. Tenchi whips

his umbrella out, and opens it before more than a few drops hit him.

Ranma steps under Tenchi's umbrella as the drizzle increases to a

downpour.

Tenchi glances down at his bare wrist, pretending to examine a

watch. "Well, it looks like I don't have to be anywhere anytime

soon. Would you like to shelter under my umbrella on your way home?"

"Hey, I'd appreciate it...but won't your family worry?"

"Nah. They can look after themselves for a while. Besides, all the

interstellar threats are lying low for now. Hahhahha-" Tenchi

scratches the back of his head and sweatdrops.

Ranma eyed Tenchi curiously. He couldn't quite tell whether or not

Tenchi was joking. He thought Tenchi was...but he couldn't be sure.

And so what if he wasn't? His life had been anything *but* normal.

And, from the stories Tenchi was telling, his hadn't been either.

"Thanks again. It's just down this street."

Unnoticed by the boys, fate was taking a hand in the form of a

little old lady who chose that moment to throw her cold wash-water

out the door. The water splashed over both boys. At that moment,

neither was looking at the other. They tensed, ready for the scream

of outrage, of fear. It wasn't forthcoming.

Ranma turned, almost warily, expecting to hear a shout of outrage,

a shove out into the rain. He (She) didn't have very many friends

that weren't trying to marry or kill her, and Tenchi seemed like a

nice guy. Plus, he had enough girl troubles that he probably

wouldn't hit on her. She finished her turn, and saw something she

hadn't expected. A girl. Holding the umbrella that Tenchi had had a

moment ago. She was slightly shorter than Tenchi, with a medium

length of blue hair, and iridescent amethyst eyes. There was

something of a family resemblance between the two. She filled out

Tenchi's loose overshirt much better than he did, but the sleeves

were far too big for her.

Tenchi stopped, and looked over his shoulder at Ranma, wondering

what he would do. He seemed like a nice guy, a little bit rough-n-

ready, but much calmer than Ryoko. It would be nice to have a normal

friend, one that knew about at least some of the wierdness in his

life. The part that really freaked Tenchi out about this whole curse

thing was that his girl 'form' looked almost exactly like his

daughter. As his field of view shifted to where Ranma should have

been, he saw something completely different. A girl. Standing right

where Ranma had been. She was shorter than Ranma, with red hair, and

a sizable...bust...thank god I don't get nosebleeds anymore...

"Err..Hey!" They say simultaneously.

They point at each other, and say, in harmony, "Jusenkyu?"

A short while later, the two boys(girls?) walked up to the front

entrance of the Tendo Dojo. When they walked in the door, they were

greeted with a stunned silence. It was broken by Genma Saotome.

"Boy! How could you do this to me, your own father? Are you trying

to ruin us?"

"What are you talking about, pops?"

"Bringing some girl off the street here! Have you forgotten your

fiancee?!" Genma points to Akane, who is alternating between looking

thrilled that she won't have to marry Ranma, and staring with the

promise of large quantities of pain in her eyes at both Ranma and

Tenchi.

"Girl? Oh. Hi-...her. Well, she's...ah....not. A girl, that is."

Tenchi, looking extremely uncomfortable, says "Look...uhh...could

we get this all straightened out *after* we get some hot water?"

Kasumi left, quietly, to the kitchen to get hot water. This left

Tenchi in the uncomfortable position of being in a strange

house,with strange people, most of whom where staring at him with

large quantities of malice and, in one case, avarice, in their eyes.

"So. Who are you?" Nabiki inquired, curious now. She'd caught

what Ranma had almost said.

"Uh...I'm uhh...Tenchi."

"Right." Nabiki replied, somewhat unbelieving. She could smell

something...he's hiding something. The question is, what is it,

and can I make money off of it?

"Oh, come on guys! It's not like he's my girlfriend or anything."

Ranma said, exasperated.

"That's just...disturbing..." Tenchi murmured.

Several more moments pass in an extremely uncomfortable silence.

Fortunately, Kasumi soon returns from the kitchen with a pot of hot

water. She hands it to Ranma, who gives it to Tenchi. "You can have

the honors, Tenchi."

"Thanks." He takes the pot of hot water, tests it with a finger,

and pours it over his head. He gasps, and changes. A holster, that

had been hidden on his right forearm beneath his sleeve, loosened and

fell, unable to stay on through the multiple changes. The sword hilt

that had been in it fell out and rolled on the floor. Tenchi stoops

to pick it up, but Nabiki is faster, and grabs it just before Tenchi

reaches it.

"Interesting...a hilt. Beautifully designed. Two gems. Obviously

quite expensive. Yet you carry it around like a weapon, and one you

expect to use, though it has not a blade, and should be in a museum

somewhere. Curious." Nabiki said, bouncing the hilt on her palm.

"Where's the third gem?"

Tenchi, surprised by the non-sequiter, responded in inimitable

Tenchi fashion. "Huh?"

"The third gem. I've heard of this hilt. The sword was used by

the legendary samurai Yosho to seal a demon into eternal

imprisonment." At this point, Tenchi almost laughed. "It had three

gems on it, three gems magical gems that fueled it, and gave it the

power to imprison the demon at the Masaki shrine. Where is the other

gem?" Nabiki asked, really curious now. Ranma stared at Tenchi.

"What makes you think that is the real one? It's just a cheap

copy." Tenchi said, his right hand slowly clenching, and then

releasing, as if holding on to something, or reaching for something.

He tried hard not to look longingly at the hilt.

Nabiki could tell...Tenchi was hiding something. Something big.

"It's the real deal, isn't it? You want this back so bad, you can

taste it. Why? It's not just because it is valuable, is it?" she

asked, noticing Tenchi's hand, clenching and releasing. "You've used

this before. As a weapon."

"I would suggest that you put that hilt down, before something that

I would regret happens." Tenchi said, calmly. Akane fell into a

combat stance.

"Are you threatening me?" Nabiki asked, wonderingly. She glanced

around the room, taking in all the people now arrayed against

Tenchi. Ranma grabbed the pot of hot water from Tenchi, and doused

himself with it.

"No. I'm not threatening you. I'm merely stating a fact. If you

don't put that hilt down, something will happen that both you and I

will regret."

"Would everyone please relax! Nabiki, give him back the hilt.

Tenchi, would you please explain how you got the hilt, so that my

family doesn't kill you?" Ranma said, worried now.

Nabiki glanced at the hilt in her hand. It had started to hum, and

was now emitting a faint crackling noise. "No, I don't think I'll

give back the hilt just yet. Not until he explains one or two things."

Tenchi looked at the hilt, a faint smile creasing his lips. "The

story of how I got it, is not entirely mine to tell, so I won't. I

think, Nabiki, if that is your name, you will find that you want to

give the hilt back to me very shortly. I would say that you've got

about five seconds to give it back."

"Oh, please. If you think that some seven hundred year old

supposedly magic sword hilt can do anything, you're seriously

disturbed." Everyone in the room, except for Tenchi, who was already

looking at her, stared at her. "Okay, maybe I shou-" The hilt

crackled, and chained lightning lanced along it, bolting into Nabiki,

and the sudden discharge threw her across the room.

"Hmm. Seven seconds. I was off a little bit." Tenchi said as he

stooped to pick up the now quiescent hilt. He slid it back into its

holster, and fastened the holster to his arm again. "I warned you."

He said to Nabiki, who was rising from her new postion halfway across

the room. She coughs, and glared daggers at Tenchi. "If looks could

kill, I'd be long dead and buried before you got your chance at me."

"*Brrringggg, brrringgg*" Tenchi reaches into his jacket, and

withdraws a small phone. It's ringing. He answers it. "Tenchi

here...(pause)...No, no problem...(pause) ...I'm fine, really...

(pause)...Nahh, I just dropped it, sombody picked it up and

wouldn't give it back...(pause)...Yeah, I've got it back...(pause)

...I'm over at...(glances around the room) a friends house...

(pause)...It's all right, he's cursed too...(pause)...I'm sure it's

just a coincidence...(pause)...No! No need to do that...

(pause) ...Really, I'm fine...(pause)...Thank you for calling.

Give my love to the girls. (pause)...It'll be alright. You worry too

much. See ya later." Tenchi hangs up. "It's fortunate for you that I

managed to talk her into calling, first. The last time she thought I

was in trouble, she did something...a mite hasty, you could say."

Nabiki, standing now, asked, "Who was that? And what did she want?"

Tenchi replied, saying, "That? That was a friend of mine. She

wanted to know if I was in any trouble."

Just then, from outside, a voice called out. "Ranma Saotome, you

coward! Fight me like a man! Don't run away and hide from me!"

Ranma groaned, and buried his face in his hands. "Oh, jeez...not

again..."

"Hmmm...Sounds familiar," said Tenchi. "Ryoga? Ryoga, is that

you?" he yelled out.

"Tenchi? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were

still on vacation in China?" Ryoga said, coming inside the dojo.

Akane was looking back and forth between the two of them. "What?

You two know each other? How?"

"Well," Tenchi replied, "every time Ryoga gets lost up in Okayama,

he always seems to make his way to my house."

"Yeah." Ryoga said. "Hey, Tenchi..."

"Yeah, Ryoga?"

"Umm...Aeka, Ryoko, Washu, and..erm...Mihoshi(this last whispered

in a voice full of dread) aren't along, by any chance, are they?"

"No, Ryoga, I left them at home. Why?"

Nabiki's mind was whirling, collating information. Okay, she

hadn't been able to get a good look at the phone, but there had

seemed to be a logo of a crab on it, and she didn't know of any

companies that used a crab logo, much less one that did and made

phones. The demon of Rashoman...hadn't it been called Ryoko? And

that was the demon imprisoned at the Masaki shrine...in

Okayama..okay, it was a stretch, but...

"Well," Ryoga glances at Akane, "They're still a little unhappy

with me over that one...incident."

"You can speak plainly here, Ryoga. We're all one big happy cursed

family now." Tenchi said, smiling.

Akane, startled, looked directly at Ryoga. "Huh? Ryoga's not

cursed."

"Sure he is. Don't tell me he's managed to hide it this long."

Tenchi said, somewhat startled. Ranma, at this point, is trying

hard to refrain from rolling on the floor and laughing.

"Masaki..." Ryoga growls.

Thats it! Thought Nabiki. It's much less of a stretch now.

"You released the demon, didn't you?"

Tenchi sweatdrops. "Demon? What demon?"

"The demon of the Masaki Shrine! The one your ancestor imprisoned

almost a millenia ago!" Nabiki said, pursueing the kill relentlessly.

Tenchi laughs. "Demon? There's no demon imprisoned at the Masaki

Shrine. There never was. That's just an old fairy tale. The Demon

of Rashoman, right? Well, there's no such beast."

Ryoga interjects, saying, "That's not what Ryoko says. Or Aeka,

either."

"Shut up, *P-chan*, or the next time you come over, I'll turn off

the hot water heater." Tenchi almost snarls, too quietly for the

others to hear...or is it?

Ryoga stiffens. "N..Never mind. F..forget I said anything."

From outside, a female voice can be heard. "Tenchiiii! Oh,

Tenchi, where are you? Olley, olley, oxen, free!!"

"Over here, Ryoko!" Tenchi said. "You better make yourself scarce,

Ryoga. If she's still...unhappy...with you, I wouldn't bet a half-

yen on your survival if she finds you."

Ryoga nods, rapidly, and then quickly disappears somewhere in the

dojo, just before Ryoko materializes behind Tenchi. "I found you!"

she says,

before glomping him.

Nabiki took in Ryoko's general appearance, that being: cat-like

eyes, fangs, pointy ears, a tail, and her method of arrival, and

come to a quick, and, unfortunately, almost correct conclusion.

"Demon!" she shouted.

Ryoko was afronted at this. She hadn't even blown anything up *all

day*, and here was this person shouting demon at her. "I'll have

you know, miss, that I am not a demon. I am Ryoko, the most feared

spa-" Tenchi elbows her in the stomach. Ryoko, unprepared for this,

has the breath knocked out of her.

Nabiki, ever quick on the trail of potential cash, "Spa? Spa what?

Space? Spec ops? What?"

"It's not important what she is, except for the fact that she's not

a demon. She's as human as I am." replied Tenchi, calmly, pretending

not to hear the sputtering noises behind him as Ryoko tried to regain

her breath and tell Nabiki exactly what she was.

"Uh-huh." Nabiki said, doubtfully. "And how human are you?"

"About three quarters." Replies Tenchi blithely.

"Uh-huh. And what's the other quarter?"

"Alien, of course. What else would it be?"

Still not entirely convinced, Nabiki sits down. A small cloud of

ashes puffs up when she sits.