Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Fangirls
Disclaimer: I have recently purchased the rights to Pirates of the Caribbean. What do you think?
Epilogue: The Wedding of the Century
William Turner shifted nervously as he stood before the altar; in the next few minutes, the wedding ceremony would begin and his life as a bachelor would end. Next to Will stood the pirate captain and best man, Jack Sparrow. Both men were wearing stuffy, tailored suits, courtesy of Mr. Swann. Will had to admit that Jack cleaned up rather well, though the pirate hadn't been persuaded to remove the large quantities of black makeup smeared about his eyes. But over all, both looked their best, and many a young girl in chapel was having very unholy thoughts.
As the last guests took their seats, the organist began to play the wedding march. Will's stomach dropped and he began to break out in a cold sweat. The back doors of the chapel opened and in walked an angel, dressed in an elegant white satin gown.
Elizabeth smiled sweetly as her father led her down the aisle towards Will. The lovers' eyes met and the world melted away. Will was aware of nothing but his beautiful bride walking to his side.
Mr. Swann reluctantly released Elizabeth's arm as she took her place beside Will. The priest waited until the father of the bride had taken his seat before beginning the ritual. However, neither William nor Elizabeth heard a single word the man said. They were locked in each other's gaze.
The vows were said and the rings exchanged. The priest smiled fondly at the couple and then addressed the crowded chapel. "If anyone has a reason why these two should not be bound in holy matrimony…"
No sooner had he spoken those words did the doors of the chapel fly open and a very angry Queen X march in. The young girl was bedraggled and looked as if she had swum all the way to Port Royal. She took a deep breath before belting out "I object!"
"Dammit," hissed Elizabeth, as she turned from Will to face the angry fangirl who was marching up the aisle towards her. Jack moved around the couple to intercept X, but the bride held out her hand to stop him. "I'll handle this."
Elizabeth hiked up the skirt of her wedding gown, revealing the small pistol that she had tucked into her garter. She drew the weapon and aimed at Queen X. With one gunshot, it was over.
The bride turned back to her shell-shocked husband. She smiled shyly and handed the pistol off to Jack. "Just in case," she muttered in explanation.
"Ahem," stated the priest as the wedding guests settled down. "As I was saying…If anyone has a reason why these two should not be bound in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."
The chapel was deathly silent. No one even dared to move. Elizabeth grinned victoriously. William was all hers!
"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," announced the priest, smiling fondly down at the pair.
Will lifted the veil from Elizabeth's face and then pulled her to him. They're lips met and the couple kissed passionately. The crowd, of which about forty-nine percent were pirates, erupted into tremendous applause, shouts, and gunfire.
Hand-in-hand, Will and Elizabeth walked down the aisle, stepping over the body of Queen X as they went. Jack followed after, dabbing at the bleeding mascara that dripped down his cheeks. The wedding party surged out of the chapel and into the streets of Port Royal.
A carriage was waiting for the newly weds. As they climbed inside, Elizabeth turned to the crowd and tossed her bouquet. It fell straight into Jack's arms.
"Blimey," muttered the pirate captain, as he stared down at the cluster of cream-colored roses. He looked up and watched as the carriage drove away, taking William and Elizabeth off to their first night as husband and wife. Jack Sparrow waved farewell, then turned to his crew, who were waiting expectantly behind him. "Come on, men! We have a town to plunder!"
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