Meaningful Silences 20/?

Rated: T (May go up later depending on direction of fic.)

Pairing: K/S Nothing explicit.

A.N.: Takes place before and during 'The Search For Spock', May be somewhat inaccurate due to my foggy memories of the movie, but this was just banging around in my head. This is my first attempt at Star Trek fiction so and feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.

This chapter is going to skim a few missions, unfortunately it has been ages since I've seen the television episodes, so I don't remember the proper time line, nor specific details. Just go along and pretend it's creative license ;) Any corrections or suggestions for this part would be great.

Recap of a Life Well Lived (part 1)

Kirk was up early the next morning, due to an inability to quiet his restless thoughts long enough to sleep. This day promised to be interesting if nothing else. Kirk was curious to listen to Spock's own perspective on many of the incidents of their voyage, but at the same time was wary of digging too deep into the Vulcan's psyche. At the best of times Spock was very reticent of sharing his feelings with anyone, even his best-friend. Kirk couldn't get rid of the sense that Spock would be greatly pained at what they were about to do this day. Hell, Kirk was unsure if he wanted the Vulcan to have access to his personal thoughts either. Either way it was too late to change his mind, even if he could bear to disappoint Spock. After the way the Vulcan had lit up with curiosity, well-hidden of course, Kirk just didn't have the heart.

"You are awake 2.764 earth standard hours earlier than yesterday." Spock commented from the doorway. "You are well?"

"Of course." Kirk answered, although his lips quirked upward in surprise at the veiled concern. "It was stuffy in my bedroom, so I decided to get a glass of water."

"May I join you?"

"Be my guest."

"I do not understand the context of your statement, I believe I already am what you would term a guest." Spock's infamous eyebrow raised, this time in confusion.

"It means please join me." Kirk reiterated, all the while hiding his increasing frustration. He knew it was unfair to continuously compare the Spock he knew with this new 'version,' but he was helpless to do otherwise. "Would you like a cup of tea?"


"It'll be just a minute."

The next little while was quietly filled with the sounds of water being heated and tea preparation. Kirk hadn't made tea from scratch since his childhood years, and even then it was only done on special occasions, such as holidays. Making food himself, even if it was just a drink, was as domestic as he'd ever been. It seemed fitting then that he was taking care of Spock. In fact besides McCoy, Spock was the only other person he'd ever met, not family, who he could see himself doing this for. He guessed it was the small things after all.

"Here you are."

"Thank you." Spock answered him hesitantly, having never used that particular human turn of phrase that he could remember, since it was not a Vulcan trait. It seemed that Kirk wasn't the only one attempting to leave his comfort zone. For what ever reason, that simple phrase coming out of Spock's mouth warmed him through.

"It's fine." Kirk told him reassuringly, flashing the Kirk-grin at him. "Since we are both up why don't we get an early start at looking into our logs."

"Very well."

Spock stood and with his tea in one hand gestured for his captain to precede him up the stairs into the Vulcan's bedroom. From there they both got comfortable in front of the viewing terminal.

"Computer play log, Commander Spock Stardate 1.6745." Spock ordered in his usual smooth cadence.

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk embarked at 0634.35 hours. His first action as captain was to do an inspection of the bridge and her crew. He was... thorough and seems to have already begun building a rapport with Uhara in particular. This is unsurprising from what his files suggest. His leadership style is informal to the extreme when compared to Captain Pike. I shall adjust accordingly."

"You told Starfleet Command that I was a horn dog." Kirk commented in shock. So that was Spock's first assessment of him. He noticed the confusion on the Vulcan's face and rephrased. "A skirt-chaser, flirt, Lothario."

"Ah. So it would seem."

"Amazing. So let's find out what you said about me in your personal log, shall we?"

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk is very young. At 36.34448 years of age he is the youngest Starfleet captain ever. I do not see what distinguishes him from his contemporaries. He is charismatic, and seems relatively confident in his abilities, but if his interaction with myself is any indication he is unfamiliar with first contact procedures and protocol. This shows a decided lack of research and even respect for other species. I shall observe and make further inquiries regarding Kirk's history. He touched me a total of five times in the 22.765 minutes while he was on the bridge. I shall have to send him the standard first contact briefing regarding Vulcans, since he seems to be unaware that we are touch-telepaths. His familiarity with my person is... disconcerting. I will meditate about this matter further."

The only sound as the log stopped was the heavy breathing of Kirk. He was unaware of the Vulcan's regard as he attempted to get his breathing in order, but it felt like he had been punched in the gut by the revelatory nature of Spock's personal log.

"You didn't like me."

"I do not believe I said-"

"You thought I was a young, brash, disrespectful asshole." Kirk's troubled tone interrupted him mid sentence.

"I have never used any of that terminology to describe you, Jim."

"How would you know? You don't even remember me." Kirk reminded him.

Spock never spoke his next thought aloud because it was then that he noticed for the first time Jim's depressed continence. For what ever reason the Vulcan's first rather negative impression of him deeply hurt his friend.

"Having met you for essentially the first time a little over twenty-three days ago, I would not classify you as any of the things that you just said. Now whether your personality has changed in the years I've known you, or I made a faulty judgment originally with too little data to support it, I can promise you that you are not brash nor disrespectful."

Jim was quiet for longer than was his norm, and just when Spock thought his words did not have the desired effect, Jim grinned rather self consciously.

"I see that you didn't disagree that I was young and an asshole though."