Yep, I decided to do a CCA Special

Timeline: Not quite sure, but after the Ashura cards arc. Contains spoilers for possibly every arc I've written. Actually, not really, so… we'll set this as a random occurrence before or during Johto.

Notes: indicates telepathy, ** indicates thoughts, and italics indicates pokemon speech.

Title: Card Captor Ashura: Nova

            It was a beautiful sunny day. Three trainers were sitting by the ocean, enjoying the view. Charlotte was sleeping with sunglasses on. Lance was playing Go Fish with her Charmander. And Ash was enjoying his double-chocolate rocky road ice cream cone, glad that Pika-chan hadn't stolen it.

            That was because Vulpix-chan and Pika-chan had managed to charm the ice cream man into giving them free ice cream, and were sitting on the warm sand, cones in their paws, licking them and looking deliriously happy.

            Luna yawned. She and Angel were perusing a fascinating book on ice magic together.

            Dragonair-chan and Sabrina were sleeping.

            Ash yawned as a particularly balmy sea breeze blew by. "What a relaxing day… hardly get a break these days." He said.

            "Tell me about it." Lance said. "But you work harder than both of us."

            "I guess…"

            All was going well… until a portal opened into the sky and down fell a girl.

            Charlotte woke up with a start. "Oh no!"

            "What's wrong?"

            "It's a Mary Sue!" Lance cried in shock. "Run, Ash, run!"

            Ash blinked, then choked as Lance stuffed him face first into the sand.

            An ethereally beautiful girl in a tight-fitting black leather bodysuit, with a gold-worked poke belt appeared. She had eyes that were the color of emerald, or were they amethyst? In either case, they kept changing color, as did her long, gorgeous, beautiful, tangle-free, wavy hair. At one moment it was a rich, luxurious red mane, and the next, it was as delicate as spun silk, with the tint of sunset. In a trice, it had shifted to jetty raven's wing, and then into a mane of pale, gossamer lavender curls.

            "Hello." She said sweetly, and her voice could only be compared to birdsong. Or melted honey, warm and cozy.

            Charlotte reminded herself not to throttle the girl unless she proved dangerous, which she would undoubtedly become.

* If she does anything to Ash I will personally make sure she is incapable of any movement forever. * Was what Lance was thinking to herself, as her blue eyes narrowed to slits. * He's mine. *

            Ash felt himself drawn by some invisible bond towards the heavenly creature that had appeared. He dug himself out of the sand and slowly walked towards her.

            "Ash! No! You baka!" Charlotte shouted. "Don't look in her eyes!

            Lance took more direct action. She grabbed Ash and kissed him.

            Ash's eyes went back to normal. Crystal? He blushed pinkly.

            Shh. Do not even glance at it, for it is a demon of greater evil than missingno. Lance said. For it steals the senses of all it comes across, and then drinks their souls.

            Ash paled. What about you?

            I have a soul of ice. Charlotte has a soul of fire. Lance explained. But yours is still mortal, because you have not reached Threshold potential yet. So you may still be in danger.
            What can I do?

            Hold on. Lance said. * Mary-Sues have never been able to handle kids, so… *

            She whipped out her staff and the Return card. "Return!"

            Ash suddenly found himself as a three-year old. Crys?!

            Mary Sue frowned, her plan thwarted. "How dare you two insignificant mortals stand against me?!"

            "That's for us to know and you to figure out." Lance said. "And right now, I think we've overstayed our welcome."

            Charlotte nodded. Their eyes glowed and they teleported away, taking Ash with them. Mary Sue cursed but then remembered her superb tracking skills, so she began following their path. As she had super speed and was able to fly it only took seconds for her to locate them.

            "Crap." Charlotte muttered.

            "This is so not good." Lance said. * Now we need a super powerful villain for her to fight to get her out of our hair. Wait… *

            "Do you think you could do me a favor?"

            "What is it?" Charlotte asked, glad that Mary Sue was too 'polite' to eavesdrop.

            *whisper, whisper*

            "Well, I'm kind of desperate here." Charlotte said. "Why not."

            The two touched hands as they whispered. "By the power of the sun and moon we command you. With the moon you were forged, with the moon you will fall. Unbind!"

            And the Onyx seal cracked as Bob the Dragon-Mage freed himself and laughed valiantly.

            Unfortunately, his freedom was short-lived because the first thing he saw was Mary Sue.

            "I am Mary Sue! You killed my father! You killed my mother! You killed my stepmother! You killed my caretaker! You killed my half-sister! You killed my pet goldfish! You will pay! I am Mary Sue, god's gift to mankind, and I will destroy you! You killed my family!"

            Bob blinked.

            "DIE!" She said, running at him. Then she realized something.

            "Ehehehe, I didn't transform. Sailor Mary Sue Perfection Power Make Up!"

            Bob continued to blink.

            Can I eat her? His dragon asked.

            Mary sue was now dressed in a gorgeous white sailor fuku, covered with pearls, diamonds, and pink ribbons. In her hand she held possibly every conceivable weapon known to mankind.


            "I almost feel sorry for Bob." Charlotte said.

            "Me too, but hey, at least it'll get rid of him permanently." Lance said.

            "Until Mary Sue comes back."

            "I'm hoping she'll have to die a tragic death to defeat him."

            "I see."

            "Well, it is a common enough plot. Then we can pretend to mourn her death."

            "Good plan, Ice guardian."

            "Why thank you."

            Back with Bob…

            "Mary Sue perfection blade!" She shouted as she sliced off his head, without getting a speck of blood on her beautiful body. A multicolored, radiant glow surrounded her.

            Bob's body glowed and repaired itself. "Is that all you have?" He taunted.


            "My turn." Bob said. "Daemon Card, Unbind!"

            "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mary Sue screamed as her transformation reversed. "How is this possible!? I'm god's gift to mankind! You're supposed to fall in love with me and kill yourself or repent of your evil!"

            "Sorry." Bob said. "I love you, but I don't want you to kill me. Don't worry, when you're dead, I'll build a beautiful monument to you and remember you forever."

            Mary Sue continued to sob artfully.

            "Little twit." Lance commented.

            "I know." Charlotte said. "If Bob doesn't finish her off, we will."

            Bob attempted to stab Mary Sue through the heart, but just then she stared at him with the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. They were the color of sapphires, cerulean waters, the sea, and the sky all in one.

            Bob dropped his sword.

            "I can't kill you! What is wrong with me?"

            Mary Sue pursued her lips and smiled cutely.

            "ARGH!" Bob began banging his head into the floor. "Sweetness overdose! I must resist!"

            Mary Sue quickly picked up her magic necklace and threw the pendant at Bob. It exploded.

            Bob was thrown backwards, but did not die.

            "Eh?" Mary Sue asked. She shrugged and used her beautiful, delicate silver magic ring, silver with lovely flowers covering the surface, and set with a golden stone that held the fate of the entire universe within it. "PERFECTION WAVE!"


            Nothing happened.

            Lance and Charlotte grinned at each other.

            "Mary Sues usually don't get robbed, I bet she wasn't expecting that."

            "Yep." Charlotte said as she finished melting the original ring down to a mass of melted silver with her Eternal Flame attack.

            Mary Sue burst into tears. "It's not fair!"

            "Life's not fair." Bob said. "Now quit trying to kill me. I don't even know you! Daemon card, just eat her!"

            The card nodded and swallowed Mary Sue. However, barely had it stuffed her down its cavernous maw before it expelled her again.

            Disgusting! The monster roared.

            Bob grew angry. "Fine then." He pulled out his staff and clonked her over the head with it, trying to knock her out.

            Unfortunately, under all those cinnabar tresses was a skull harder than titanium. His staff cracked in half.

            Bob angrily kicked her in the knee, feeling annoyed.

            This got Mary Sue's attention. She immediately morphed into the best martial artist in the world. Within seconds, Bob was clutching his lower regions in pain. She countered every move he threw at her, and he found himself too slow to block hers.

* This is impossible! * Bob thought. * What manner of evil is she?! *

"I am Mary Sue!" Mary Sue yelled. "The most perfect female ever to grace the earth!"

Bob grunted as he felt one of his ribs crack. "You?! Hahahahah!"

"What?" Mary Sue asked. "You don't believe me?" As she used her super powers to read his mind, she noticed something.

His mind was completely blank. There was nothing whatsoever of interest in it.


"Don't you get it?" Bob asked. "I'm a generic villain created by a vengeful authoress! I have no mind of my own! All I can do is destroy you!" And with that, he set Mary Sue on fire.

Her beautiful hair, however, did not catch.

"Hah! I am the child of the legendary pokemon! You can't hurt me!" Mary Sue yelled triumphantly.

"Maybe so." Bob said. "I guess I need backup."

"Backup?! Evil villains aren't supposed to have backup!"

"As I said, the authoress writing this does not like fanfic clichés. So I do have backup." Bob said. With that cue, Lance, Charlotte, and Ashline walked in.

"Hey! Where'd Ash go? He was supposed to fall in love with me and give me all his magic!" Mary Sue said.

Ashline smiled, her white eyes staring into Mary Sue's. "Well, fortunately, someone had a flash of foresight and created me a female form in the Star's Ascent arc."

"Oh no!"

"Oh yes!" Lance said, pulling out her dragon daggers. "And all female characters that aren't adoring Mary Sue are out for her blood!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mary Sue screamed. "This isn't fair!"

            "Shut up." Charlotte said. "Before the authoress gets mad and Self Inserts."

            Mary Sue gasped. Mary Sues and Self Inserts were mortal enemies when not together as eternal friends. "She can't!"

            "She probably won't, because we'll finish you off.' Ashline said.

            "Bright flame to call the phoenix…"

            "Holy water to cleanse the presence…"

            "Heaven's Fury to destroy this abomination and purify this earth!"

            Mary Sue laughed. "I was raised by the legendary birds! You can't-!" She stopped short as the attacks vaporized her. "How?!"

            "It's simple." Ashline said. "You see, each of us three shows part of the authoress's personality. That's what writing fanfic is about. And therefore we each have some of the power."

            Mary Sue wailed in disbelief as she was destroyed.

            Bob vanished because he was no longer needed.

            The three guardians high-fived

            And thus ends this bizarre special episode.

So… what do you think? *Grins* Comments, criticism? Please send me some! ^_^

I really do hate Mary-Sue… tell me what you think. Please?