Chapter Three: The Notes (dun dun dun!) and Oppo!
Harry, Ron, and Hermione woke up bright and early the next day, still laughing. (they were laughing in their sleep. Amazingly Talented, they are. Oh great, now I'm speaking like Yoda from Star Wars… *light bulb turns on on top of head* Hold that thought!)
" I wonder what Umbitch- I mean Umbridge, did to the Toilet Paper." Hermione said as they passed the dungeons on the way to the Great Hall. Due to an earthquake last night, the castle was very different. Some of the floors moved up, others down. The dungeons were now the tenth floor, and the Great Hall was balanced precautious on top of one of the turrets. This made it very hard to eat, as there had to be equal weight on all sides of the building, or they would all fall to their deaths, and then JK Rowling would most likely be mobbed by angry fans.
Anyway, back to the dungeons…
Just as Hermione spoke, they walked by the Potions room. Inside, they found the poor Toilet Paper with brown ink on it, spelling out " I must not be so soft and cuddly like the laundry detergent bear."
" Poor Toilet Paper." Harry sympathized. " I recommend Murlap Essence." He told it, and it walked away to go find some.
" Wait a second…" Ron said. " The writing on the toilet paper wasn't red… it was brown…" The other three cringed, and said simultaneously,
When they got to the Great Hall, they took extra care to make sure all of their food's weight was balanced correctly on their plates. After a very frightful breakfast (mainly because Hagrid walked in, and nearly sent one end of the room tumbling to their deaths) they went down to Transfiguration.
McGonagall had them turning cereal into Milk and Cereal Bars ( I always wondered how they did that! Lol!). After that it was time for lunch, so they climbed back to the Great Hall.
During lunch, nothing exciting happened, other then when Hagrid belched, and the room teetered dangerously. Then, Ron, Hermione, and Harry, smiling, went to the Dungeons, to meet their favorite professor.
" Ready, Hermione? Do you have the note?" She smiled, and whispered a spell that made the note soar into Snape's room, and fall on his desk.
When Snape came, sneering, and told them all to find a seat, they could barley contain their laughs. Snape noted, thankfully, that Potter stopped that eye-lash thing.
" Today, we are going to brew the Oppo-personality potion. It causes the drinker to act as though they had exactually the opposite personality for a day. Now, the instructions are on the board. Get to work!" Snape then sat down at his desk, and began to do paperwork.
As the students began, an idea was brewing in Harry's head (get it? Brewing… in potions? Er… yeah.).
Snape was grading homework from his fifth years…what a bunch of idiots. Then, he found a small note that wasn't homework…
I am madly in love with you! Your eyes are misty like a smelly cauldron. Your hair is greaser than automobile lubricant. Will you meet me at midnight tonight on top of the Astronomy tower? I will be waiting!
Snape had an ugly look on his face, and it looked like the only reason he was going to show up was because a student would be out of bed, and he could give them detention.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione snickered when he went back to grading the homework.
The rest of the potions class passed without incident, but as the bell rang, Harry managed to slip some of his potion into a cup, and he tucked it into his bag for later.
As it approached midnight, Harry, Hermione, Ron, an Oppo potion in a butterbeer bottle, and a certain invisibility cloak left Gryffindor Tower, headed towards the astronomy tower to meet a certain potions professor.
When they reached the tower, they waited for a few minutes, but there were still no signs of Snape.
"Do you think he'll show?" Ron asked Harry as ten mintues passed.
"Oh, don't worry, he will." Harry said. And sure enough, the door slid open, and they found a disgruntled Snape sneaking in.
Snape hid in the shadows, seemingly watching for a student to come. When, after a few silent minutes, no one showed up, Snape was about to go back to the dungeons when Harry whispered,
"Oh, Severus! Se-ver-us!"
"Who's there?" Snape asked, clearly annoyed.
Harry put on his best sexy female voice (which, surprisingly, sounded genuine… hmm…) "It's me, sweetie. Your admirer. Wanna have a little fun?"
Snape simply sneered. "I have no interest in whoever you are. I was simply hoping to catch a student out of bed. Good night."
"Oh," Harry said, "I don't think you'll be leaving quite yet. Not till you've had a drink with me."
If possible, Snape sneered even more. "No thank you." He said coldly.
Harry sighed, exasperated, while Ron and Hermione tried to cover up their giggles.
"Fine. I've got no choice. If you don't have a drink with me, I'll be forced to tell Dumbledore what you're really doing when you say that you patrol the halls at night."
Snape visibly gulped. Harry was startled. He had not expected that one to work, and he had no idea what it was that Snape was actually doing.
"Fine. I'll have a drink with you. Just tell me who are you? And where are you?" Now it was time for Hermione's part in the prank. With a whisper, she said a spell which makes a figure of a woman appear. Then, with another spell, some of that jazzy music that you hear in the movie Chicago began to play out of nowhere.
The fake woman held the butterbeer bottle up to Snape. "Here, Snapey-poo. Drink up." She said, smiling at him.
He took a shot, still looking at her apprehensively. After a minute, when nothing seemed to have happened, he gave her a weak smile.
"Well, hunk, I've gotta go. I'll be back." She whispered seductively and then, with a wave of Hermione's wand, disappeared.
Snape stared after, puzzled by pretty much everything, and then went back to the dungeons with out a word. When the trio was sure he was gone, they took off the cloak.
"Harry, I don't get it. Why didn't that potion work?" Ron asked.
Harry sniggered. "It takes twelve hours to work."
Ron did some counting on his fingers. "That means…"
Hermione nodded, grinning widely. "Yes. That means that the Oppo-personality potion kicks in exactly in the middle of our potions lesson tomorrow morning."
Grinning evily, the trio went back to bed. None of them noticed a certain greasy haired man in black robes humming "Hukuna Matata…"
Thanks to all of your for your brilliant suggestions on pranks! They're all really great, and I'll try to use them, as many as I can! Thanks for waiting patiently for my updates!
(darn, now I've got the Hukuna Matata song stuck in my head! Ahh! Get it out, get it out!)