Just some simplifying and editing~
Disclaimers: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or characters. Nor do I own any of the Kushiel Dart and FFVIII characters. Plot and Jay are mine. :p

"If I was right," Jayson grumbled sullenly, rubbing his skull where Sirius had elbowed him, "why did you go and hit me?"

"I didn't do it on purpose," Sirius said absently.

"A girlfriend, Sirius?" James reached over to feel Sirius forehead, genuinely concerned. "I think you're a little too tired right now, working on this potion and all. Maybe you should get some sleep."

Sirius waved at James' hand waspishly. "I've had just enough sleep, thank you very much Mother," he retorted irritably. "It was Jayson's idea anyway."

"Jay gets a lot of ideas, but you've never listened to them before. The fact that you listened this time is scary," James said dryly.

"That's because he's right for once."

Jayson opened his mouth to protest, but James started talking first. "What in the world would make Jay right?"

"Because. It's just like when I was dating—" Sirius gulped and changed subjects. "I just know, ok? How about we just watch him for awhile, and if nothing turns up we drop the whole idea. But if we do find something, you'll know I'm right and nobody's hurt. It's a win-win situation."

James looked at Sirius doubtfully, but finally nodded. "You'd probably do it anyway," he muttered under his breath.

"Now that that's settled, let's go find him," Sirius said happily.

"Oh! Oh! We get to be SPIES!"

Sirius gave Jayson another sound hit on the head.


"Selphie! Would you just listen to me?"

The short brunette stopped and spun around to face the taller boy, her face livid. "No! You… you… ARGH!" She threw her hands into the air and stomped her feet in frustration, then continued to stalk off, apparently at a loss for words.

The boy paused for a moment, not sure he should follow her, but after only a moment's consideration, he felt his confidence restore itself. Feeling revived, he pulled out his wand and muttered, "Orchideous." A pretty bouquet of deep red roses, sprout from the wand's tip. He took the bouquet into one hand and put his wand away again. "Ok, I can do this," he breathed out slowly.

"Irvine! Irvine Kinneas!"


Remus was on his way to the Gryffindor Tower to wait for an owl from Alcuin when he saw one of his Gryffindor friends rush past, wearing his trademark cream colored leather trench coat and closely following a Hufflepuff girl. Remus merely shook his head, thinking that his friend had simply gotten into another spat with one of his many girlfriends. Even though Remus liked Irvine, he was an incorrigible player and flirt who would hit on anything with two legs. In fact, that was how Remus had met Irvine, though now Remus was fairly certain that the auburn haired boy had only been teasing at the time.

Irvine was never unkind to his girlfriends, but he often never cared enough to give flowers or gifts in reconciliation. He would usually excuse himself with a sweet apology and a lopsided grin, and both parties would go their separate ways, more or less appeased. So when Irvine stopped, looking downcast and conjured the pretty bouquet of flowers, Remus' curiosity got the better of him. As he walked towards Irvine, Remus looked down at the note he had received that morning at breakfast from Alcuin, telling him to wait in his dorm room for an owl at about two o'clock. He figured there was still time before the owl would come.

"Irvine! Irvine Kinneas!" Remus called.

The russet haired boy turned around, looking slightly forlorn, but smiled warmly as Remus came closer. "How're you doing, Remus?" he greeted after glancing over his shoulder at where the Hufflepuff girl had disappeared around the corner.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, worried about his usually irritatingly cheerful friend who rivaled even Jayson when it came to optimism.

"Of course!" He grinned forcefully, but then his face fell and he rubbed his eyes with one hand unhappily. "You're not gonna leave me alone are you?"

Remus pretended to think for a moment. "No," he said flatly.

Irvine groaned exaggeratedly but told Remus anyway. In fact, he seemed a little relieved to be telling someone. "Well, it all started when I met Selphie Tilmitt from Hufflepuff during the Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor Quidditch match—we're both Chasers. I got to know her and I really started to like her, Remus. I mean really like her." He sighed. "So we started going out, but I asked her to keep it a secret. Because, well, you know, with my reputation, I didn't want any of my old girlfriends to start picking on her because I'm actually serious about her. And… I guess that I didn't explain that, and she got fed up with me, saying she felt like my 'backup girlfriend' and suggesting that maybe I was ashamed of having a Mudblood," Irvine flinched at the memory, "for a girlfriend.

"I asked her to come with me to Hogsmeade today so I could explain things to her. And I was! I was going to tell her how I felt, and then we could have talked about how to make our relationship work without all of the secrecy. So we snuck out of Hogwarts and slipped into the Three Broomsticks. We sat down, but when I started to explain to her I... I froze up... I guess I'm just not great under pressure... So when I sat there without saying anything, she just looked at me sadly and left… Eventually, I got my wits back and followed her, and what you just saw was what happened after that." Irvine shook his head dejectedly, pulled his long hair out of its loose ponytail and retied it, combing out the tangles from when he had run his fingers through the bronze strands absently beforehand. Remus pat his shoulder sympathetically, feeling it was better not to say anything for the moment.

Without warning, Irvine's head shot up. "I know what to do!" He blushed furiously at the thought. "I need to prepare, so I won't need these anymore." He blushed even harder and handed Remus the flowers, slightly breathless. "You can have them, I have to go now. Selphie likes daises anyway…"


James, Sirius, and Jayson set off to find Remus. For once Peter wasn't tagging along since they had previously omitted him from their study session in order to look for information about the Animagus potion. It was ok if Jay knew, since he wouldn't tell a professor, but no one could be completely sure about the fidgety Peter.

It didn't take them long to find Remus as he was fairly close to the Gryffindor common room. The three hid behind a pillar and watched Remus as he looked at a piece of paper and walked towards a tall boy.

"Who's the red-head?" Sirius scowled, seeing that the boy's hair was styled in a similar fashion to his.

"I don't know him, but I've seen him with Remus a couple times," James replied. "Do you know him, Jay?"

Jayson frowned slightly as he thought. "Oh! I remember now. That's Irvine Kinneas, a fourth year, I believe. He's as big a flirt as you, Sirius, if not bigger."

"What's Remus doing meeting him here?"

"Maybe he asked Remus to meet him here?" James suggested. "That would explain the piece of paper that Remus was holding."

"Oh look!" Sirius hissed. Irvine had given Remus a bouquet of dark roses, a fervent blush showing through his tanned skin before rushing off.

"Oohh… PROOF of a CONFESSION!" Jayson whispered dramatically.

Sirius and James, too shocked to shut Jayson up, watched as Remus put the flowers up to his nose and sniffed them experimentally. A small smile played across the brunette's face as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room, not noticing the three that heard him chuckle to himself and murmur, "Daises…"

"Daises? What daises?" Jayson asked when Remus disappeared behind the portrait hole.

Sirius growled. "What makes you think that I know?"

"I know! He's HALLUCINATING! They say love is blind you know."

Sirius hit Jay for the third time that day.


When Remus got back to the dorm room, he deposited the roses on his bed, hiding them behind the hangings and sat down to wait for the message from Alcuin. Remus had asked Alcuin and Phèdre for a favor because he needed help locating some magicked items he had heard of that might be able to help him to subdue his lupine half. Remus wasn't sure whether or not it would work, but it was an idea. The two told him that they themselves had no clue where to find anything potent enough, but they could arrange a meeting with a friend that might, and their friend would contact Remus as soon as possible.

Remus didn't have to wait long, because after a couple minutes a sleek black falcon flew through the dorm window with a loud cry. It circled the room once, dropped a small capsule into Remus' lap and stopped to perch on a bedrail. He opened up the container and pulled out two rolled pieces of paper. One was blank and the other had a message scrawled in smooth, clear handwriting.

Meet me this weekend in The Hog's Head bar during your trip to Hogsmeade. You'll be able to recognize me; I'll be using Phèdre's sangoire cloak. S2


Remus smiled at the small heart at the end of the letter. It was highly likely that Hyacinthe had to wheedle Phèdre into lending her extraordinary cloak. He quickly wrote a reply and sent the falcon back to its master.


"I was right! I told you!" Sirius exclaimed triumphantly.

James muttered darkly.

"So what do we do now?" Jayson asked curiously.

"Let's see if anything happens with that guy."

"What guy? The guy who's like an older you? Irvine?"

Sirius snarled.


Remus tapped his foot impatiently. If Irvine didn't show up soon, Remus would miss his train to Hogsmeade. It was only yesterday that Irvine had told Remus what his plan was, but he was incredibly nervous about putting it into action. So Remus had offered to help, and now he was standing in an empty classroom waiting for Irvine.

"Hey, Remus!" Irvine strode into the classroom, closing the door behind him. "So how're you going to help me?"

"You're going to practice on me."

"What?!" Irvine yelped. "That… that'd be weird, Remus! You're a guy!"

"That's going to be the least of your worries if you don't get used to just saying it, Irvine. Just pretend that I'm Selphie. Go on."

Irvine continued to hesitate.

"I don't have a lot of time. Do you want my help or not?" Remus asked impatiently. "No one's going to see anything," he said encouragingly.

"Fine, fine," Irvine mumbled, looking thoroughly embarrassed. He took Remus' hand in both of his and gazed into Remus' eyes, still looking highly unsettled, "Remus… er… Selphie… I love you, and I don't want to lose you."


"Ok! The 'Follow Irvine' plan is in action!" Jayson said excitedly.

"Right, whatever, just follow him. And don't make any noise!" Sirius ordered.

The normal three followed Irvine, having ditched Peter again, to what appeared to be an empty classroom. They approached the door Irvine had closed, and Sirius scrambled to the lie down on the floor.

"Jay, you look through the keyhole while I listen through the crack at the bottom." Sirius strained his hearing.


"Irvine's holding Remus' hand and he's blushing real hard too! Oooh! They're standing close. THIIIIS CLOSE!" Jay demonstrated with his thumb and pointer finger, making them a centimeter apart in distance.

"Shut up, Jay! Tell me later! I can't hear!"

"…I love you, and I don't want to lose you."

Sirius cursed and rolled over into Jayson's legs, making the blonde tumble over. Then it was James' turn to curse. "We have to get out of here," he hissed. "They might've heard us!" James, Jayson, and Sirius scrambled to their feet and ran back to Gryffindor Tower.


"That was great! Really convincing, just imagine how it'll be with Selphie!" Remus exclaimed. Then he paused. "Did you hear something?"

"Nope, didn't hear a thing," Irvine replied, looking excited. He had let go of Remus' hand as soon as he was finished and was currently rubbing his own together anxiously. "You think she'll forgive me then?"

"Of course! Now I've got to go. I'm meeting someone in Hogsmeade and the train leaves soon."


Jayson, Sirius, and James arrived in their dorm room panting and heaving.

"What—do you—think—Remus told him?" Sirius gasped.

"Don't know," James replied, a little less winded due to his vigorous Quidditch practices.

"This does mean that Irvine knows Remus's a girl, right?" Jayson inquired, even less winded because he was…well…Jayson.

"Of course, or else Remus would've denied Irvine straight off the bat when he gave him the flowers," Sirius reasoned.

James nodded. "Right, I don't think that Remus is the type of person to lead someone on."

"I wonder if he kept those flowers in here…" Sirius looked at Remus' things curiously.

"Maybe," Jayson jumped over to Remus' small bedside desk and tried to open the drawer, which shocked him promptly. Jayson frowned and pointed his finger at the ceiling absently. Little distortions of space swirled along Jayson's finger, making an oddly disorientating sight. Once a considerable amount of the distortions had gathered around Jayson's finger he pointed it at the drawer and forced the power into the spell locking the small bedside desk, imploding the spell. With a faint hiss, the drawer popped open, revealing a small scrap of paper.

Meet me this weekend in The Hog's Head bar during your trip to Hogsmeade. You'll be able to recognize me; I'll be using Phèdre's sangoire cloak. S2


The three looked at each other and dashed out the door, hoping that they hadn't missed the train and allowing Jay a few split seconds to replace the spell on the bedside desk.


Remus walked into the Hog's Head bar and was leered at by more than a few questionable characters. He looked around for a moment before noticing the figure wrapped in a cloak a red so saturated that it bordered on black.

Remus strode over to the person's table and sat down. "Hyacinthe?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, that would be me." Hyacinthe took off the cloak and grinned, a flash of white against swarthy skin. He stood up and gave Remus a kiss in greeting, brushing his lips against Remus' briefly. It seemed to be a custom from wherever Alcuin and Phèdre came from, and Remus was somewhat used to the greeting by now.

"It's good to finally meet you. Alcuin and Phèdre speak highly of you." Hyacinthe commented, taking his seat again.

Remus blushed. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Hyacinthe grinned again.

"Phèdre and Alcuin said you might be able to help me?" Remus prompted as he made a quick study of the older boy. Hyacinthe had the same cast of beauty that Phèdre and Alcuin had, but more subtle and to a lesser degree. With dark hair and near-black irises though, he was no horror either. Remus had to wondered if the three were all at least part elf or veela.

Black-blue ringlets fell about Hyacinthe's face as he chuckled. "So to the point!" He reached into a bag behind him and pulled out two pairs of cuffs and a silver dog collar. "I picked cuffs, because they might help you keep from thrashing around, and the collar because it just kind of felt suitable. These are made of solid reinforced silver and are worked with enough narcotic spells to knock out a full grown dragon. Well, that is, if you could get past those scales…"

"That's great! So do you think these will work?"

"They might, but it's hard to say. The lupine capability to adapt and protect is quite strong."

Remus gulped, suddenly feeling oddly embarrassed. "How do I pay you for these?"

Hyacinthe laughed. "Phèdre, Alcuin, and Dumbledore are paying for a lot of it, but nobody's going to think twice about letting you pay for anything." He carefully placed the handcuffs and collar back into his bag and handed it to Remus. "There you go. If you ever need my help again, just ask Phèdre, or if you're in Hogsmeade, go to Night's Doorstep. You should be able to find the area easily enough if you ask around. If you can't find me there, ask for the Prince of Travelers and they should bring you right to me." Hyacinthe flashed Remus another grin and began to walk out of Hog's Head.

"Oh! Can you give the cloak back to Phèdre as well?" He came over and carefully placed the cloak in a different pocket of the bag. "You'll probably see her sooner then me."


"Did Remus just walk into Hog's Head?" James asked.

"Ouch! You're stepping on my foot!" Sirius complained.

"Well I'm sorry that my Invisibility Cloak is limited in terms of space. I don't see why your complaining, Sirius. Jay's not even under here; he's got his own version of a Disillusionment Charm."

"Let's just get in there," Sirius grumbled.

Upon entering Hog's Head, they saw Remus talking to an attractive young man who got up and kissed Remus before sitting back down.

"What! What was that?!" Sirius sputtered.

"I thought Remus was going out with Irvine!" Jayson complained.

Hyacinthe placed the cuffs and the collar on the table.

"What in the world…" They watched as the two talked intimately for a few moments until the young man carefully placed the cuffs and collar into a bag and handed them to Remus. He got up, and before leaving, turned around to say something else to Remus, then meticulously placed a dark swath of cloth into the bag as well.

Once out in the open, James and Sirius removed the Invisibility Cloak, and Jayson shed his bit of magic.

"Bondage... That's just kinky." Sirius felt like he had just been ambushed.

"AH!" Jayson yelled, pointing a finger at Sirius. "What are you thinking about, Sirius?! Take your head out of the gutter right now!"

"Well what else could it be?" Sirius snapped, his head near exploding with the sheer implications. "So far after watching Remus, we've found out that he... she's a two-timer and psycho dominatrix!"

"I still don't think that sounds like Remus at all. Besides, they might not have been for the guy..." James ventured.

Sirius glared. "That's hardly the point! I think it's time that we sort this out."

Jayson squeaked.

"It's settled then. Tomorrow we confront Remus."