Recruitment

by Adrian Tullberg.

***

They were the elite of the superhuman community. The greatest of those possessing raw power, sheer skill and had the determination and abilty to not only survive, but win against impossible, and improbable odds.

They were the JLA.

And they were interviewing applicants.

Once a month, some resumes were pulled out of the mailbag, and the hapless beings were dragged up here for an interview, usually the awe struck wanna-bes would be too insensible to actually say or do anything beyond drooling and would leave with a 'don't call us ...' message.

However, this one was different.

Recommended by the British Government (they'd been trying to improve their international profile for ages) he eschewed the traditional spandex for a long tweed coat, dark trousers, leather cowboy boots, and a twenty-odd foot woollen scarf loosely wound several times around his neck.

Then you reached the face, which convinced Batman to call Juan from Arkham to bring one of his better quality straitjackets. A head of dense curly hair which one could easily hide a Magnum handgun. A wide smile that could easily dominate his face if it weren't for the wide, near-bug-eyed staring blue eyes.

Superman looked at the very glowing but low on details resume in front of him. "We didn't catch your name, Dr ..."

"It's just 'Doctor' I'm afraid." A deep, smooth, rolling voice that wasn't sorry in the least. "My name has too many constonants that won't be invented for the next few centuries, and we don't want to destroy the fabric of the time/space continuum just for a few forms, hmm?"

"Okay ..." Superman gave The Flash a worried glance, and moved on. "... Doctor ... your ... application ... stated mechanical and technological competence over any device ... could you give us an example?"

"Oh, I daresay there isn't a VCR on the planet I couldn't program in twenty seconds flat."

Superman remembered the shrieking and moaning and crying and sheer bitching that occured whenever Lois found out he didn't tape the Gilmore Girls, and made a note. "There's something we're not clear about ... respiratory bypass system?"

"Well ... apart from letting me win with alarming regularity in pub games, it allows me to hold my breath for a very long time."

Wonder Woman immediately made a large tick against his name, and elbowed Green Lantern next to her to do the same.

"Yes ... that will be all for now ... can you come back for a follow up tomorrow?"

The applicant made another smile. "Why of course! Thank you very much for your time ..."

As Superman showed the man out, Batman looked at the forms in front of him, and made one of his sterner glowers. "Does it worry anyone that he's currently the front runner?"

"Who's next?"

"Two guys named Jay and Silent Bob ..."

***

Please send any and all feedback to adriantull@urban.net.au