Um yeah! I'm back! I just can't believe it's been like… a year? Since I last updated? Away from the world of writers block at last. Well, while some of you had to go back to school this August I was busy enjoying myself in Orlando. When I was there I decided that I needed to start progress on this fic so when I came back on Tuesday I picked it up from there.

So….yay! tell me what you think about this chap by reviewing or emailing me! I'd love to hear what you all think! I'd also like to thank:

Kimmy1232, Crastal Diamond, Carpenter&KNIGHTMARE&MarilynMa, Shizuka Ishida, Sweetthang-37, Vixen and Maria for reviewing while I was away you lovely ppl. It's much appreciated!

And for Maria's question (if it was a question or if you were just hinting) you might know but unfortunately I don't so….let's improvise!

On with long awaited chapter 5

Chapter 5- There's no turning back


Van was still looking up at the sky even though Hitomi had already left. As he watched a shiny pink object fell from the sky and landed on the moist grass. There laid the small pendent, Hitomi's pendent.


What has come over me? Will this relationship last if we just… keep on hurting each other like this? Van was like a best friend, more than that.

Is he my best friend? He was my only reason staying. Because not only was he my best friend, he was my angel. The person that I can trust, could trust.

Should I go back? Back to Gaea.

Back to him. Back to Allen.


the man I hurt Van with.

The man I slept with.

Was it to get back at Van?

How can I stoop so low?

What has come over me?

Van's POV

It had been days since Hitomi had left. Why? Because of me.

Who else?

I just can't get over the things she said. The words that I never thought I would hear coming from her mouth. The hurt, the pain, and the hate blatantly seeping through each and every sentence she yelled at me.

I've blown it!

I know I have! And she isn't coming back! I know she isn't!

So why is it that I still wait for her…?

"Van!" Van woke up. Sitting up swiftly noticing the light to bright for even him to open his eyes.

"What!" he snapped. He wasn't in the mood this morning for anyone, even Merle.

Merle took a step back taking a good look at him. She stared at his face noticing how frustrated he looked and how tired he's been looking lately.

"Um…You were supposed to meet Millerna in a while." Van rolled his eyes. "You told me to wake you up." Van said annoyed.

Van stood up and was about to leave the room but stopped and looked at Merle. He tried to give her a reassuring smile when he saw the worried look on her face knowing that it probably looked more like a frown than a friendly smile. Mumbling something about women he left the bright room.

Merle sat there for a while.

'What can I do? The only person that can make him happy again is not Millerna. Look at him now! Does he look happy?

Never with her.


As much as she didn't like that idea she had to concede that she noticed when Hitomi was around Van was at his best.

As much as she hated to admit it she couldn't even bring a smile on his face anymore. Not even one hint of happiness.

She had let him down, for even trying to break the once inseparable pair apart in the first place. His ray of light.

Those years ago…

And to think that if she did become that obsessed in breaking them up; caught up in her whirl wind of uncontrollable jealousy she would have been abandoned by her only family.

Not even realising that her herself would've been depressed because she would've been pushed aside by his none stop mood swings and his hate towards her. How would he have relied on her then?

That was the only way then. To bring her back

Hitomi won't come back though.

Not for Van.

"How can someone bring out so much emotion out of me?" Van stood still forgetting that he was in the shower, hot water pouring heavily on his head as he looked down, staring into space.

"I've had enough! How pathetic are you!" Van jumped as he heard Merle screeching at him like there's no tomorrow.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Call yourself a man huh? Well at the moment I doubt you are coz your sure acting real feminine!" she paused trying to find any reaction to her words. Nothing. "Can you hear yourself? Hitomi is gone! End of!" Van stared at her for a while before stepping out of the shower. Merle turned around quickly before she said anything else. Her cheeks obviously showing her embarrassment.

'He sure is a man…'

"Do you love her." Her voice softened a bit trying to sound more concerned.

"You know I do. That's a bit obvious!"

"Then what are you going to do about it. Why are you still here?"

"I ..."

"You got the pendent right?" Merle cut him off. Van nodded.

'How did she know?'

"Then what are you going to do about it? Drown yourself in your self pity? Think about it, if you go now then there's a huge chance that she'll for give you and take you back." Van kept silent indicating for her to go on. "If you don't then she might find another loser to waste her time on." Van smiled a bit, even if it was the harsh reality Merle was happy to cheer him up. "And anyways she's partly to blame, running away from her problems."

"But I…"

"And before you say anything it doesn't mean that if you do something then she has to do it back. It takes two. Well, four in your case." She giggled. "No-ones right, your both to blame."

Merle gave him a smile that a mother would've given her son, proud of uplifting his mood. There was a brief silence between the two as Van began to realise his mistakes and stupidity of not running after her as soon as he saw the pink necklace falling down.

Merle walked towards Van wrapping her soft arms around him concealing in the warmth of his chest ignoring the moistness. Van looked down at this strange girl grabbing his towel before wrapping his arms around her small body. "You know I care about you. Just make yourself happy then I'll be happy."

"You really do surprise me sometimes." He mumbled burying his face in her hair before kissing it gently. Van held her away from him and glanced at her face before letting her go.

"Thanks Merle. What would I do without you?" He smiled warmly.

"Keep asking yourself that." She giggled for a split second. "Now go before you waste anymore time."

Merle nudged him gently. Taking the suggestion tenderly Van walked into his room and within 10 minutes he was fully dressed holding Hitomi's pendent.

Following Van to the garden she stood back as he lifted the pendent up towards the sky.

"I'll miss you." Van heard and turned around.

"I know. I'll miss you too." He smiled her voice barely audible as the magnificent white stream of light fell upon him, surrounding him and lifting him up towards his destination.

The Mystic Moon.

Hitomi turned towards the window gazing out of it, rain pouring since last night as she absently began fiddling with her soft fingers.

"2.00 and it's still raining." She mumbled to herself.

Off guard her head snapped towards her bedroom window as it slowly began to open. Alarmed she stood at the opposite end of her bed too scared of her thoughts of the possibilities of what this person could do to her. The tall dark build let itself freely in and moved itself directly in front of her and out of nowhere arms wrapped around her small waist. Hitomi instinctively closed her eyes seeming it was the only reaction she could do at that moment.

"W-what do you want." She forced herself to whisper. Expecting no answer she opened her eyes to find the figure leaning down to her right ear, parts of his features viewed just for a few moments before he leaned altogether, his hot breath hitting her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"It's me." Hitomi's hand reached for her lamp and not to her surprise she knew who it was.

"I don't believe this! After all I said and you still don't get it!" she yelled.

"It's called love Hitomi, try it." Van shoved down his hood and took off his soaking blue jacket tossing it on the floor.

Hitomi stared at it for a while trying to finding words to say. A sudden lump set itself in her throat making it hard to talk.

"How did you get here?" she gently said.

"With this." Van let go of her waist and rummaged through his pocket taking out her pendent and holding it out in front of her. As soon as he did so she snatched it off him disgusted that she allowed herself to misplace it in the first place.

"I think that belongs to me." She said frostily.

"Why would you want it back? It's not as if your coming back now are you?"

"That's right." She said taking a step back from him. Van moved closer.

"But if you keep it then how am I supposed to go back?" Van smirked. She growled getting annoyed with him all of a sudden.

"Take it then! Just leave! And burn the damn thing! I don't want you here! And get it through your thick head that I DON'T WANT CHEATERS IN MY LIFE! You've got your hoe now see to her!" glaring directly at Van hatefully she turned away from his deep stare, a hint of hurt displaying for just a second in his eyes and directed her glare to the floor.

"Hitomi..." Van drew her closer to him holding her in his arms. She inhaled his scent deeply not getting enough of him and almost giving in to the familiar sensation that once burned inside of her. "That night, I don't know why I said I loved her… I don't think I ever did and I know I was such a bitch in saying it.

I'm so sorry for everything I have put you through. I love you and I don't know how I'll love anyone else, ever." A small smile began to form on the corners of her lips. She loved the way he did that loving boyfriend thing.

"Van I can't live…."

"Let me finish." He mumbled holding her tighter trailing his fingers up and down her bare back. Feeling this she closed her eyes and warmed to his embrace. "I need you in my life Hitomi. If I don't have you then what have I got? But you have to realise that it takes two to make a relationship work and also takes two to cheat. Well, four in our case." He smirked. Hitomi looked up at him.

"Was that supposed to be a joke!" she growled unsure of what to think.

"What ever you want it to be. I'm willing to forgive if you are." He chuckled trying to lift up the mood a notch. Without succeeding he saw how her face changed from soft to almost completely fuming.

"Everything's a joke to you isn't it! Get out you son of a…"

"Hey leave my mother out of this." He smiled letting go of her and slumped himself on her double bed.


"Talk about mood swings." Hitomi was surprised at his actions let alone the things that came out of his mouth. Slowly she began to calm down, tears threatening to fall from her hazel brown orbs.

"Are you trying to get me angry?" she paused seeing no sign of response. "Why won't you just leave?" she said calmly.

"Don't you get it… no." Van stared determined to win his fight for her. Hitomi was inwardly furious but somewhat loving him even more than she thought she could. All she said to him and he won't give up, won't stop loving her. And all the things he said that he hasn't said to her before. All the things that most men wouldn't say out loud he had said to her, meaning more to her than he could possibly imagine.

'I can't let him in my life again, not now. We need more time'

Van gazed at her from head to toe. "You look so…" Hitomi placed a finger on his lip stopping him from talking. She made no move to say anything just stared at her handsome admirer. She smiled and lowered her head nearer to his face.

"You think you're so smart don't you." Her smile growing. His facial expression suddenly dropped to a suspicious look. 'What's she up to?' Still smiling Hitomi slowly walked towards her door and opened it wide.

"Dad! There's a strange boy in my room!" Both teens could hear the far away racket coming from her living room. Loud roaring and stomping of footsteps coming up the stairs were heard. Hitomi swerve to look at Van but to her shock he still sat there standing his ground. Not realising that sitting on Hitomi's bed would make matters worst.

"Cheap shot." He mumbled. his eyes were fixed towards the door. He tried to swallow the lump that was travelling up to his throat but to no avail it did not subside. Hitomi noticed the look of fright on his face

"You really don't know my dad."

A tall man in the doorway stood looking at Hitomi and then towards the unwelcome guest. His bald shining head and piercing sapphire eyes, enough to pierce into someone's soul stared annoyed as his face began to swiftly change colour. The abnormally scary man stepped in the room and that was it. Van jumped from the bed and literally out the window to the cold pouring rain.

"I'll be back!" He yelled angrily.

"No you won't!" Hitomi's dad shouted out at Van, looking as if he was about to leap out the window and strangle the life out of the smaller boy.

"O.k!" Van wisely decided and paced himself down the street and to who knows where.

"Dad leave it. He's frightened enough."

"Is that the boy you talked to your mum about?" He said his tensed muscles reducing. His focus was still directed outside the window avoiding eye contact.

" How did you…"

"He won't be coming back. I promise you that." He kissed her forehead and left with a proud look on his face. As soon as he did Hitomi's smile faded all too quickly. It's strange how you first wanted something to happen and in the last minute you regret it ever starting up the next. She looked down at the jacket before her and sighed.

"How did it turn out this way…?" Hitomi half-heartedly picked up the jacket and put it in her top draw. She smiled remembering his little jokes and bravery a few minutes ago.

"Why us." She mumbled as tears flowed freely in a path down her soft skin.


A/N Well that's it! If it was kinda short I'll try and make it longer next time. Tell me what you think by reviewing or emailing me. I've uploaded it again coz it was confusing for ppl.

RaY'$ AnGel