Inspired by Fresh-AngelBabe's MagicMail
To: Hoggy-Warty Hogwarts (Group)
From: this out and send it on.
Name: Lucius Malfoy, you unworthy prick.
Age: 40 years young.
House: Slytherin, what else?
Been Kissed: Naturally- have you not seen the pimp cane?
Been on stage: No, but I often…perform…for the ladies. And Snapey- I didn't just say that.
Gotten in a car accident: A powerful wizard such as myself has no need for such a feeble muggle invention.
Cold or hot: Hot, like me. I keep Azkaban quite warm.
Blue or Red: Blue. Red is an atrocious, blood-traitor colour.
Rain or snow: I am too good for such a petty question.
Wool or cotton? Silk.
Chocolate milk or plain milk: Vodka.
Spring or fall: Spring, for picnics with Sna- I didn't just say that.
Do you like someone: No. I like no one. Attractions have nothing to do with like.
Do They Know: Narcissa and I occasionally have fun with Sn- I didn't just say that.
Who's the funniest:
Who's the craziest:
Who do you e-mail the most:
Who's the loudest:
Who's the most silent: I am above answering all these italicized questions.
Who's the shyest:
Whose parents do you know the best:
Had a serious talk: NO. covers left forearm protectively.
Gotten along with your parents: But of course, I am their firstborn son.
Fought with a friend: No.
Give hugs: What?
Give back rubs: Again, did you not see the pimp cane?
Take walks in the rain: Uhm, umbrella much?
Which one of your friends...
Knows you the best: My lord and mas- I didn't just say that.
Have you known the longest: Snape was my firs- oh, bollocks.
Have you known the shortest: Narcissa.
Most likely to end up in jail: Well, as I'm currently in Azkaban….
Been to a concert: Of course, I have a private box in the LightningDome.
Favorite Artist: Jessica Simpson…indeed, those boots WERE made for walking…
Favorite Song: Justin Timberlake, Rock Your Body, because I'd like to rock HIS- oh, dungeons and dragons!
For Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised- Favorite Movie: Very good, Draco, no thine enemy- Showgirls.
Loved someone so much it made you cry: No response.
Cheated on a test: No.
Done something illegal: HOW DARE YOU!
Ever stalked someone: What?
Are You Single: Really, do I need to beat you with the pimp cane? Oo, naughty…
Have u ever had a boy/girl friend: See above question.
Have you ever pranked someone before: No.
Do you swear too much: Swearing is a vile habit.
Where are you at: My private suite at Azkaban. I had it decked out in leopard print.
Are you sitting by anyone: Just my vodka bottles. Smirnoff, if you must know.
What color pants are you wearing: Brown-Gray Azkaban sheikh.
What song are you listening to right now: The dementors dislike music.
What is the last thing that you said: "Oh, gruel again. Yum."
What's on your mousepad: Snape and Narcissa snickers
What was the last thing you ate: Gruel. Seasoned with vodka.
If you were a crayon: A sexy, scintillating silver.
Name a Person of the Opposite sex: Narcissa.
Favorite Color: Silver, like my hair.
How's the weather right now: Stormy, I'm in friggin Azkaban!
What's under your bed: Wouldn't you like to know.
Do you keep your room clean: I have no need to, as I am so clean naturally.
What do you feel like doing right now: Sna- ahem.
Who is most likely to fill this out: That idiot potter boy, not realizing he's already done it.
Who is least likely to fill this out: The Dark Lord, he is above such petty things.
What do you want to do before you get back to school: I graduated years ago, fool!
(A/N: And next time….VOLDIE-POO!)