The Answer

Yet Another Lame Lain Spoof

by DDFA

Scene: Lain, sitting in her room in front of her Copeland, staring at

the swirly things on the screen. She is about to contemplate

having an emotional response when the machine pings into life.

Navi: You have new mail.

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....

Navi: I can sit here all day, if you like, but the mail isn't going

away, and Crayon Shin-chan is on in twenty minutes, so would

you like to hurry it up?

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....Must.... concentrate.... on.... task....

Navi: You've been having your little episodes again, haven't you?

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: I only have 13 of them.

Navi: Cheap. Would you like to open your mail?

Lain: Just the mailbox.

The Navi opens the mailbox, and the following appears....

INBOX (FOLDER A)

You have 32 messages in the last 32 seconds....

* From (Subject)

* imant przyslupski (zqtBBig.speaaks fforr iitsselfe)

* Want it thicker and (wider)

* Anezka P (Sexy amateurage Babes - Hot XGXZ)

* t Dr. Halloran Ee E (x cFWD: University Diploma's no tests need!)

* Cellular_Offers (F R E E cell phone + F R E E shipping + $50....)

* Love (Get a Date tonite free access)

* Incredable info (Build wealth)

* Anker o (Hot amateur Babes EUNH)

* Samantha ($1 For 1 Month of P0RN)

* Travel Alert Club (Air travel the no cost way jd)

* Angelina R (Free Hot Pics Of amateur Girls ...)

* Remedy to a better (body for everyone)

* It's me (It's A Grand-Slam)

* Daily Mortgage Newsl... (Home loans & refinancing at very low rates)

* [email protected] (don't do it and stick t¨o the s_truggle)

* Shelby (this cant be real)

* insshopperpvtl@bestw... (Remember loved ones b)

* Cutey (See Female G Spots, ejaculations free trials)

* Antionette o (Free Pics Of amateur Strippers ...)

* cxdsvdfgfdjvjdlkgjdl... (RE:results are noticed from only the first...)

* Auto Warranty (Pay only a $50 deductable... 3 yrs 36K...)

* [email protected]... (Xyqdon't do it and stick to the struggle)

* meriah (Top..Hollywood Stars..Naked..)

* excuria Inkjet (& Laser Toner Cartridges ~ Save up to 89%)

* fhgjkeiusljdsljkgklj... (RE:results are noticed from only the first...)

* free pron0 (Stop paying for p0rn! get it fr33 now!)

* deana (Big..Tits on..Hot Blonde..)

* [email protected] (xxx multi-plex 4free)

* Love (Get a HOT Date tonite find her today)

* jennifer (Dumb..blondes in..Heat.)

* Ethelyn Hinsley (Fw: spiritual evolution)

* sang arguello (Hey There, You'll like this!)

GO TO FOLDERS: B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P (more)....

YOU HAVE 22,560 MESSAGES IN TOTAL

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: ....

Navi: ....

Lain: Alright, now Knights are taking the piss....

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the world, Boogiepop was trying to work out if

she'd just had dinner, was about to have dinner or whether she was

ever going to have dinner. She'd also decided to throw out her sepia

coloured dress, as the colour tone was really starting to shit her....

THE END! (But not of the SPAM) ^_^;;

--------------------------------------------------------------------

DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)

[email protected]

"Because ALL fanfics suck, especially mine!"

CUT N' PASTED - Thursday, 7th August 2003