Disclaimers: Not mine
(Chapter 11 - Undoing Sacrifices)
"I'm all ears." Catherine said shortly, throwing her purse onto the couch and sitting down with her arms crossed.
"I was a freshman in college. My best friend was Wendy Rex. We had known each other since high school and..." He shook his head, looking out the window as he recalled what seemed like a past life, "She was my best friend. I know it sounds convoluted and not like me but I was completely in love with her. I never had the courage to tell her though. I didn't want to risk losing her as my friend so I kept everything bottled up."
"Sounds familiar." Catherine muttered and held up her hands, "Sorry, continue."
"That is until we both got into the same college and I never thought it possible but we grew even closer. Then eventually for some crazy reason, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to tell her how I felt. I actually thought she would..." He looked down and shook his head again, "Anyway, long story short, I told her and she never spoke to me again."
"I'm past that. That wasn't my point. My point is...I don't want that to happen to us. So it's best that we keep our distance."
"You think I'd leave you?"
He shrugged, looking away.
"Grissom, I'm not her."
There was a long pause before she spoke again, "Grissom, you're in love with me?"
"Of course I love you."
"That's not what I asked."
He looked at her but then got up and walked over to his half-packed boxes, "It doesn't matter. I told you what you needed to know and...it's all I have to say."
"Grissom, I'm not Wendy. I'm not going to leave you for how you feel but I am going to leave if you can't tell me how you feel." When he said nothing, she continued, "Is it really that much easier for you to hurt me than to risk having me hurt you?"
"So you'd rather lose me now than take the chance of never losing me?"
Grissom looked at her and shook his head, "I don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't have done any of this. I couldn't have pushed you to take Ecklie's job, I wouldn't have quit, I wouldn't have pushed you away! It's because I don't know how to deal with my feelings for you that I have to do this."
"Grissom, just tell me how you feel."
"You know how I feel."
"No, I know you don't wanna lose me but I don't know exactly what it is that you feel."
Sitting down onto one of the packed boxes, he buried his face into his hands and sighed, "I felt like kicking myself when you decided to take Ecklie's job. I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life when I saw how happy you were in your new job. I felt like killing Smithson when I saw him with you." He looked up at her, "Does that tell you how I feel?"
"No, that tells me how you felt."
"Dammit, Catherine, you know I'm in love with you!"
"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She smirked and walked over to him, kissing the top of his head.
"So what now?"
"You think it's possible to undo sacrifices?"
"That would be like taking back gifts. Not good. What's done is done."
"So does this mean you're coming back?"
"So you can be my boss again? No way!" When Grissom gave her a confused look, she laughed, making herself comfortable on his lap, "Relationships between bosses and subordinates are a big no-no. It'd be much easier if I stayed as day-shift supervisor."
"But it means I'm forgiven?"
"By me, yes. By the Sheriff? Not so much. He's going to flip when he comes in for work tomorrow to find you still there."
Grissom chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist, "And he thought he was done with me..."
"You know, for a while there, I thought you were done with me."
He smiled and kissed her, "Never."