Disclaimer: I don't own Angel or any of the characters, people, or products involved. Otherwise, I'd be rich and Doyle's character would have been kept. :) I make no profit from this story either.
Author's Notes: This was collecting dust, literally. I found the disk it was on at the back of my file cabinet when I was cleaning. This story dates back to November 2000, I haven't changed a word and don't plan to do any work on it in the future.
by Barbara C.
Doyle held the book up as he read from its pages. "It says here that it's essence is supposed to drive women wild." He smirked and clucked as he looked towards Cordelia. The object of Doyle's attention and affection didn't notice.
"Well that narrows it down to male demons." Angel summed up.
"Why?" Cordelia piped up.
"Because, it says..."
"I know I heard the description too; but why does it have to be a guy demon? Do you realize that all the demons we've come up against are guy demons? Where are the girl demons? I mean, what happened to women's lib and equality, and all that? If there are any out there, they should take their case to the ACLU...or something because this matter is most definitely serious."
The two men stared at her in awe.
Cordelia held the door open.
"But," Doyle protested.
"Its just a department store. Nothing is going to bite you, I promise." When he still didn't budge, Cordelia let the door swing close and got behind Doyle. "Go," she said giving him a push.
When they finally made it inside the lingerie department surrounded them. Doyle's doubts about going into a woman's department store were soon forgotten as he picked a lacy bit off of a rack and admired it, or more specifically the woman he was holding it up in front of.
"So, immature," Cordelia grumbled snatching the garment from her companion's fingers and reaching past him to hang it back on the rack. "Now remember, we're here demon hunting."
"I know, I know, an essence that drives women wild," he smirked.
"Right." Then she spotted the perfume counter. "Well, there's only one essence that I know of that drives anyone wild and its over there."
Doyle looked to where the girl pointed. "Oh, no! You can't be serious? The perfume counter? Lingerie is bad enough, but I am not about to go there." He pointed.
"Don't worry," Cordelia patted him on the chest. "I'll just mosey on over there and take a look myself. You can watch me, so, if I get into any trouble you can rescue me. Deal?"
Cordelia wandered over to the perfume counter while Doyle fiddled with more of the merchandise imagining Cordelia in them.
"Is there anything I can help you with sir?"
Startled Doyle let go of the bra in his grasp. "Uh, oh, uh..." Damn, the woman looked eager to help him make a purchase. "No, uh. I was just... That is... My, uh, uh, girlfriend... Yeah, my girlfriend... She, uh, she..." he stiffly motioned over his shoulder toward the perfume counter where Cordelia stood chatting with the sales clerk. "I, uh...better go see if she needs me. Yeah. Right. Um, thanks for offering anyway. For the help I mean. Not that I needed it though..." He dropped the explanations and hot-footed it over to Cordelia's side.
"...taking names and addresses of those interested."
"And if I sign up?"
"There's a mailing list that sends out brochures, free samples-"
Cordelia cut her off. "Do you have a pen?"
The woman smiled and handed her one. Once Cordelia had written the required information the woman lifted an old fashioned perfume bottle and gave it a squeeze. The fragrance wafted over Cordelia. She turned to Doyle who had just appeared at her side. "I'm done here. Lets go to the food court and get something to drink. I'm hot."
"But you just said in the car that you weren't..."
"Bye," Cordelia told the sales clerk as she strong-armed Doyle into moving towards the food court.
As soon as they left the department store. Cordelia announced that she needed to visit the restroom. "All right, I'll just wait out here... Cordelia?" She had taken his hand and was leading him towards the ladies room. "Cordelia?"
"Its one p.m. on a school day, no one's going to be in there, we can talk about that 'essence that drives women wild'," the last part came out a husky whisper.
"Um, Cordelia?" Doyle was a little more than nervous now. Sure she was a looker, but... His thought cut short when he saw a wide-eyed young mother hurry her children out of the ladies room and look back over her shoulder as if the place were possessed. This couldn't be good.
He wasn't about to leave Cordelia the way she was, besides the grip she had on his hand wasn't one that he could easily break; so all just followed like a good puppy and decided to see what happened.
The scene in the ladies restroom was amazing for lack of better words. Doyle stood in open mouthed wonder at the orgy going on. As soon as the door closed behind him, his astonishment went even further as Cordelia threw herself at him and began trying to unbutton his shirt and swallow his tongue at the same time.
"Oh!" Damn his mother for being human and for giving him a soul! "Cordelia," he groaned. "Cordelia?" he managed to wrangle her searching hands. "What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing, lover. Nothing a little bite, r-r-a-r-r," she purred, "wouldn't take care of." She began nuzzling his neck and nibbling at his ear.
But heavens that felt good. "Cordelia, love, why don't we move this to the car, or better yet, your place?"
"I like it right here. I want it right here."
"Oh, Lord, deliver me..." Doyle couldn't believe the action he was about to take, he would most probably want to kill himself later for doing it but... "Cordelia," he wrangled her hands once again. "This is going to hurt me more than it is you." And he clipped her in the jaw.
They were back at Angel's. Cordelia was still out and Doyle was reciting the adventure.
"And then she attacked me!"
"Whoa, Doyle. Slow down."
"Hot, hungry and all mine. That beauty," he whined. "That body," he growled. "I just couldn't do it! Bad morals! Bad morals! My last option was to clip her jaw but..."
"The only way I could get us out of there was to drape her around me and make it look all lovey dovey and what not. Angel," he directed at his friend, "there is most assuredly something rotten in Denmark."
"No," Angel consoled his friend. "Just that mall."
If you can't tell I was a Doyle/Cordie fan. After they axed his character the show grew boring and I stopped watching. It's changed a lot now, but it doesn't have the same vibe that drew me to it. Anyway, I hope those who remember season one enjoyed this piece.