Everything Else Could Wait

He just stood there. He didn't speak.

He didn't reach out his hand to stop him.

He did nothing but stand there.

There had been no fighting, no yelling, no screaming insults. That wasn't his style.

Just a simple, "I love you but I can't do this anymore"

He couldn't give him anymore, he didn't have anything left to give.

So he stood there.

He stood there as everything he had ever wanted, or needed, in his life walked away.

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"I love you but I can't do this anymore" was all that he could say.

There had been no fighting, no yelling, no screaming insults. That wasn't his style.

There was just pain.

Pain so deep and sharp and so hurtful that he couldn't breathe.

He turned and walked away from everything he had ever wanted, or needed, in his life.

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I have given him everything that I am and still I lose him. Why?

Is my love not enough for him?

What more does he want?

What more can I, am I, willing to give?

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Why can't he say it?

How many times must I tell him I love him before he believes me enough to say it back to me?

I feel so dead inside now. So cold. So lonely.

I love him with all my being and I think that he loves me, but he never says it. If only he would tell me, I wouldn't feel I need to leave.

This is killing me.

I am not sure I can continue to walk away. Though I know I must.

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Please stop! Why doesn't he stop?

Doesn't he know how much this is killing me? Doesn't he care?

He said he loved me but he is the one walking away.

~~~Oh yes, but you never told him that you love him. You never have.~~~

But I do! Doesn't he know that?

~~~How can he if you have never told him?~~~

Oh God NO!

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One foot in front of the other

One foot in front of the other

keep your back straight

you can do this

you can

***************************************************************

"Wait!" Draco said softly.

Harry stopped and stood stiffly though he did not turn around. He wouldn't have the strength to leave if he saw him now.

"Harry I," Draco said as he walked to stand behind him. He could tell that Harry was shivering.

"I can't do this anymore Draco. It hurts to much," Harry said brokenly, trying to calm his shaking.

"Please Harry, please listen to me. If when I am done you still want to walk away I won't stop you." Draco said nothing for a few minutes letting Harry calm down enough to listen to him. Harry said nothing either but Draco saw his head nod once in agreement.

Draco started slowly obviously feeling his way around the words he was trying to say. He knew this would be his only opportunity to tell Harry how he felt. This was not something that Draco had a lot of experience in, talking about his feelings. But if he didn't talk then he would lose Harry forever and he couldn't do that without a fight.

"I know. I know how much it hurts. Everything is so still. So cold, almost dead. Like someone had punched you in the stomach and you can't breathe. Like there is no light left anywhere, just darkness all around. Like you try to breathe but there is no air. That's how much it hurts to have you walk away."

Draco was not even trying to hold back his tears. He didn't reach a hand up to wipe them off. He needed them to remind him of his pain and what he would lose if this didn't work.

"You know who, and what, I am. And you know what I have done. And you love me despite of it. I am scared that you won't love me when everyone else finds out. I am frightened of losing the man I love to the people he tries to protect. They will not accept me Harry. I know this but you don't want to see it. I couldn't stand the pain you would go through when they rejected me. I am frightened of losing everything that I have ever wanted, or needed, in my life. If I lost you Harry, I would die."

Harry turned quickly to face his lover. He flinched at the raw pain he saw on his face. He watched in wonderment at the tears rolling down his face. Draco never cried. Here he was crying for Harry.

"No Draco NO," Harry pleaded softly, reaching his thumb up to catch a tear and bringing it to his lips to taste its saltiness.

"Harry, I love you."

"I love you too Draco."

The two lovers came together in a kiss that seemed to stop time. A kiss that healed the hurts of moments before. It was soft but contained all the love that had been held back by the silver haired boy. It was filled with a passion that only a first kiss, when love has been declared, could have.

As they drew apart Draco sighed and with his forehead pressed against his lover's chin he took his hand in his. Searching his piercing green eyes with his silver blue ones he knew it was time to let his misgivings go.

"Shall we go meet your friends, my love?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The two lovers turned to walk into the Great Hall confidant in each other and in the love they had together. They would accept him or they would not, but he wouldn't lose his Golden Boy for them. He would fight to keep him.

Everything else could wait.