I do not own CCS or it's characters.
There are often times in life where you hear similar words spoken of someone stopping you in your tracks. They are told almost as if they are fairy tales, trapping you in a state of mind where such a thing cannot actually be possible. You've heard of these experiences, these seemingly contrived stories of someone abruptly stealing from you every part of your being, every aspect of self. It happens in a wave, and everything you thought you knew before feels as if it's vanished in a flash, wiped clean in a matter of seconds, and you find yourself having to start anew. It's a feeling that can't exactly be described; it shocks you at first, grasps your heart greedily and strikes your soul, saving you or utterly destroying you. That person reaches you without warning. It just takes one instant, and you know.
I always believed these feelings were idealistic and nonexistent - exaggerated feelings of hopeless romantics if you will. So when I opened the door to her, for the first time I felt every fiber of my being vanish– out of my reach, completely impervious, and the only thing I felt I had any understanding of, any comprehension of in that moment, was that I had met someone who undoubtedly shared the same soul. After that moment I knew I had been sadly mistaken for the past 25 years of my life.
You could say my reality is a sad story; perhaps viewing it as such would make it easier to bear. A physical reality and mental illusion all one in the same, all my own, that can delude me into thinking I could finally be happy. It's a dangerous thing - this world I eagerly want to explore. It quite possibly will destroy me, leaving nothing left, nothing at all - not even bits and pieces for the vermin that scatter through the streets of my being.
I waited behind the door until the footsteps had faded. My breathing was low and steady. I was nervous. I grasped the edge of my shirt with one hand and closed my eyes, breathing in deeply and slowly exhaling. I needed to calm down, I told myself. The footsteps were gone. I was safe.
I opened the door quietly and looked out into the barely lit hallway. No one in sight. I checked my watch, 3 am. God, was it that late? I left my apartment at 2. I must have hid behind that door for 40 minutes. I scanned my surroundings. It was an eerie sight, one that for a moment, realizing the reality of what I was doing, frightened me. I gathered my courage and slipped out from behind the door into the hall. I counted my steps and held my breath as I made my way to the room I was looking for… The room which made my pulse quicken and my heart pound in my chest with the thought of who was in it. It was a type of longing and fear I never experienced prior. I eased myself carefully down the hallway, unfamiliar feelings I can barely describe erupting inside me with every fleeting thought - all focused on one thing.
The fear of getting caught made me tense, so I quickly turned my thoughts back to walking and checking rooms. I turned the corner and read the silver numbers, one by one, making my way to 129. 129. I'm partial to the number 9. 123, 124, 125 - the higher the numbers the more nervous I became. My guilt pushed past me, I could sense my regrets and doubts subconsciously waiting to arise and I could feel them even before I put my keycard through the lock and slowly turned the handle.
My entire life I was living a facade. A lie. A perfect life, a perfect family, a perfect income and seemingly perfect relationships. I never really knew what living, and breathing, and existing felt like until she came into my life – abruptly, vigorously, unsolicited.
So when I saw her there as I opened the door, sitting on the bed naked with her back facing me, her long, dark hair flowing down the small of her back, I knew the person I was before was gone forever. He had died long before, perhaps years ago, and I was just now realizing it. She turned to look at me, her wide, brown eyes surprised and innocent. She was wrapped loosely in a white sheet, her back revealed and breasts barely covered. Her eyes gave off the impression she expected this, more or less, because there was no fear or sudden shock in them; just a hint of surprise. The moment we met we both knew this would happen, eventually. Upon seeing her, I rushed to her, falling into an embrace on her bed. I sunk my head onto her shoulder and held her tightly.
"I missed you," I breathed, pulling her closer.
"Li.." she spoke quickly, gasping, her face was hot with embarrassment, "What are you-"
I couldn't take it anymore. I started kissing her in a fury, my hands running down her back and to her breasts, cupping them briefly and then massaging them. Her skin was incredibly soft. I kissed down her neck, brushing my lips past her collarbone and kissing her down to her breasts.
"I told you.." I moaned slightly as she reached down and touched me, rubbing the fabric of my pants against me, "to call me Syaoran"
I reached over to her desk and, fumbling a bit, turned off the light.
Was a bit bored, and figured I'd pick up with this story a bit – 3 years later! Amazing. I wanted to write some candy for it. Not sure if I'll continue it, but it was sure fun writing this chapter and definitely a blast to the past, if you will.
(Hint – There are so many comments because 7 years ago I had a story here which I deleted. It wasn't that good, I around 13 or 14 writing it, so you can imagine… I write for fun now but I'm convinced my style is a bit pretentious and annoying (even though I feel like I'm a terrible writer in general, to be honest) and therefore I don't publish a lot of what I write. Out of fun and boredom I'm constantly picking up on old stories or redoing chapters, so you might see something from me with this story, but consider it a three chapter short for now until I come up with a better plot for these characters – Thank you for reading!)