Don't read any further if you haven't read Order of the Phoenix

Disclaimer: It's sad, but it's true; I do not own Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape *sobs* Isn't it awful? I only own the things you don't recognise…



I.

How to describe his current mood? He was depressed, sad, cold, hungry and, he would almost forget it, in Azkaban, the only place in the wizarding world that you didn't even wish to your worst enemy, even not to Harry 'Bloody' Potter.

He had learned a great deal here already, although he had only been sitting here in his cell for 'only' 3 weeks… although it easily could have been 3 years. Most important thing was this; not everything could be solved with money. Very soon he had found out that Dementors do not care about money, that really had destroyed some 'innocence' in his heart.

There was another thing nagging in the back of his mind. Shouldn't he have been freed by now? The Dementors had joined the side of his Lord and his Lord had always called him one of his most loyal followers, but where was he now? He strangely had the feeling that the other people who had been captured with him were already back in the ranks, except of him. Why? Why not Lucius Malfoy, most loyal servant of the Dark Lord?

He curled himself up in one of the corners in his cell and felt miserable. Of course, he was meant to feel that way by now, so he supposed the Dementors were doing one hell of a job. His hair had lost his beautiful blond colour and was now a dirty greyish mess. His clothes weren't that intimidating either. He was just thankful for his cloak so at least he could feel some sort of warmth, although unfortunately it didn't reach his heart.

He missed Narcissa. A simple statement maybe, but it was more honest than he had been in a long time. Popular belief said that Lucius and Narcissa had only married because of money and power and that was true… for a while at least. But slowly his feelings towards his arrogant wife had changed. He actually started to 'love' her, as far as a Malfoy can speak of 'loving' someone. He was painfully aware that Narcissa didn't return that feeling, but he didn't care that much. And now he missed her. He missed her cold answers towards him and her ignoring of his presence. He missed her cold body next to him under the silk sheets in the large bedroom in Malfoy Manor. He even missed her complaining when she didn't get what she wanted…

He missed Draco as well… that was actually the most surprising thing. He didn't love his son. He knew he had one and he occasionally informed about what was going on at school and of course what was going on with that Potter-prat. He remembered that a couple of years ago he had bought him into the Quidditch team of Slytherin. He also remembered that he used to buy things for his 'son' just to keep him busy so that he at least wasn't bothering him. Did he actually miss him??

A shiver went through his body and terrified he looked up. Where the Dementors coming again to visit him? He felt how panic started to rise in his heart. Not again! He wasn't sure if he could stand it again… this dreadful feeling of their presence; this feeling of no happiness at all! He always hangs on his memories although they slowly started to disappear. Every happy thought he had… there weren't many left to hang on to. He wasn't really looking forward to the day the last one would disappear as well. What would happen? Would he then finally fall into the crack of insanity??

Nervously and close to panic he looked at the door. He twitched and chewed his lip. To his annoyance both his hands started to shake while blood started to flow from the thorn lip. If anyone would peek inside his cell at this very moment they would have never believed that they were looking at the proud and arrogant Lucius Malfoy. Not much was left from his old self and he wasn't sure if it ever could be totally restored.

He had thought more than he had in years in this cell. Thought about his loyalties and about that old fool of a Dumbledore. Maybe Dumbledore wasn't such a fool at all? Maybe Severus had been wise to leave the Dark Lord although he wasn't sure about his life on this moment, but had the other Slytherin ever been sure? They had been friends at school, although not many people were aware of this friendship. He had been the popular boy, while Severus had been the outcast. But although that was the case they had strangely been attracted to each other, although they keep their friendship hidden. Lucius, because it wouldn't do well about his image and Severus, because he was afraid to loose that only friend he had. In the end it looked that Severus had been a lot smarter.

To his own relief he felt how the presence of the Dementors started to move away again and he closed his eyes, leaning with his head against the cold wall. He needed to escape. If the Dark Lord wasn't going to get him out he needed to do it by himself. Severus might have been smarter, he wasn't stupid either. He needed to get out before he finally would reach the final destination of this prison: dead.

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