Yellow Snow

SIN Productions

Yellow Snow belongs rightfully to SIN Productions © 2005. Plagiarism is illegal and is considered a crime. Ronin Warriors is © Sunrise, Inc. All rights reserved. Comments and criticism are welcome. Rated PG-13 for those of you with a sick sense of humor.

It's a bumpy ride for Sage. But being cramped in the jeep with a full bladder can only mean one thing. Yellow Snow. A much needed festive sacrifice to the Ronin muses.


When the red jeep pulled into the empty store parking lot it squealed brutally to a stop, leaving tire marks stretched all across the asphalt. The jeep jerked forward from the speed and jerked back when the brakes were slammed on, causing a whiplash ripple to erupt in the automobile.

Five pairs of eyes blinked in surprise.

"Haha." Cye laughed nervously, "Oops."

"Yeah, oops." Ryo replied dryly, next to Cye in the passenger's seat. His fingernails were embedded deeply into the soft material of the armrest. His chest was heaving deeply trying to catch his breath. He was eternally glad for the seat belt he had tightened and strapped across his body to keep him from crashing through the windshield.

Whose idea was it to let Cye drive any ways?

"Uh..." Rowen's words were uncertain. Just by the tone in his voice you could tell he was a bit shook up from Cye's driving skills.

Or lack of driving skills.

The four passenger Ronins were quiet as the realization hit that they had survived. It had seemed a far greater feat than destroying Talpa and his minions.

Why they had just drove ten, long, agonizing miles with Cye the catastrophe driver. They should get some kind of award. That was practically committing suicide.

"I think..." Rowen was brave enough to speak up again, "I think...I think I'm gonna puke." The back door suddenly flew open and the flash of blue rushed out in a flurry and barely made it to the side of the store to conveniently puke his brains out. The Tenku Trooper was miserably retching up his guts while Ryo, Kento, and Sage all felt drastically sorry for him.

And Cye had the nerve to lecture him, "That's what he gets. You shouldn't eat a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, add sugar to it, plus five pieces of toast with cherry jam, and a box of powdered donut holes in under five minutes and then go driving."

Kento made a disgusted face as he pointed in Rowen's general direction, "That stuff coming from Rowen's mouth ain't pretty colors."

Sage and Ryo didn't bother to look over.

"So does anybody want anything to eat or drink?" Cye hopped elatedly out of the jeep and peered inside, awaiting further instructions.

"NO." surprisingly all three warriors set in stone. It was a real shocker that Kento turned down an offer of food, but the strongest Ronin was staring sickly out the back window at Rowen.

Not surprisingly no one questioned why he turned Cye down.

Cye walked inside the store and curiously looked about. It was a small mountain convenient store, quaint, and well, rather small. He walked up and down the aisles in search of some last minute munchies for the road trip they had embarked on.

He grabbed a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos on his way to the refrigerated section. Opening the frosted-over doors he also grabbed two liters of Pepsi, continuing on his way.

His hands quickly became filled with all sorts of goodies and he was beginning to have trouble carrying them. He came up with a quick fixin' idea and set his already picked out groceries on the counter and went to pick out more.

The heavyset woman (who could grow a better mustache then Cye himself) had given him a weird look but Cye simply ignored it. No one interfered with his shopping.

After Cye had grabbed a can of Frito-Lay's Bean dip, a liter of Mountain Dew, a package of Ho-Ho's, a couple Slim Jim Beef Jerkys, four Kit-Kat's, a bag of BBQ Lays, ten packages of Chicken Raumen noodles, and a bag of trail mix.

Cye nodded over his selection of food with a quirky smile and looked up to see the employee staring at him.

It made him nervous.

"Will that be all, sonny?" her voice was deeper then he had heard any female's voice before.

Cye gulped uneasily, "Why...yes..." he fished around for his wallet and came up with a systematic ATM debit card. He hastily swiped it through the designated machine and waited for it to process.

As he waited, she stared.

Cye kept gaping at the machine hoping it would process faster. Every time he snuck a glance up at her she would be staring at him...and smiling at him, as if he was a rather large hunk of meat to be scarfed down.

One quick glance up and it looked as if she was drooling.

Cye began to pray to the Gods for the machine to hurry up.

BEEP, BEEP!

Cye nearly sighed with massive relief as the machine indicated that it was finished processing his transaction. Cye hurriedly pressed the 'yes', noting the amount was correct, grabbed his munchies and was on his way.

Carrying his six bags of goodies out the convenient store he noticed that Rowen was back in the car. Still looking slightly green, but the puking had ceased. Cye motioned for the trunk to be popped and he heaved the six bags into the back of the jeep.

"So mates..." he was so grateful he was out of view from that lady, "Are we off?" he held up the keys to the jeep, ready to be on the way.

He hadn't noticed Kento right behind him, who grabbed the keys out of his hand, "I'll drive."

--

Sage stared contently out the jeep window as the pure white scenery whizzed by. He couldn't believe he had gotten talked into coming on this ridiculous camping trip. Ryo and his brilliant ideas of "group bonding" activities. Sage would much rather be at Mia's house...it was close to a forest, he didn't understand Ryo's logic. Mia lived no where near city limits and her closest neighbors were ten miles away. They didn't have to drive all the way out to boonieville to get away from it all, when they already lived away from it all.

And the forest behind Mia's house wasn't full of snow. Sage hated the cold weather and this outdoor adventure would mean plenty of snow. And the forest behind Mia's house was in walking distance of a bathroom.

Sage sighed.

Bathroom. There was a wondrous, civilized word he had wanted to hear for the last sixty-eight minutes. But alas, the only words uttered lately were from Rowen, who was sitting to his left (and thankfully much better now then when they had stopped at the store a couple hours earlier. Sage didn't really want to sit next to someone who was puking sick).

Rowen had been staring out the window, much like Sage had, and had muttered several times to Sage how thankful he had been when Kento had offered to drive.

Offered? It was more like commanded.

Not like he minded. He really didn't feel like being jerked around in the backseat. Every turn while Cye was in the driver's seat meant either slamming into Kento or Rowen.

He didn't understand how he had ended up sitting bitch. He could just hear his friend's thoughts before they had gotten into the jeep for this fiasco.

I don't want to sit bitch, let's make Sage. He's always so quiet...and rarely complains about anything.

Just because he was polite!

But he wouldn't get his revenge right now, he had to pee.

The jeep drove over a rock of some sort and he heard Kento from the front say, "Sorry guys."

Bumps didn't help Sage's situation one bit.

He casually and slyly crossed his legs to perhaps drown out the "urge."

Miles and miles flew by and Sage continued to say nothing. But he couldn't...he was Sage Date, he did not have impulses to pee on a road trip. He was the one who went before they got in the car, and he was the one who would wait until they made it to their reputed camp.

So defiantly Sage held it...

Every second that clicked by on the radio clock, Sage found himself cursing on the inside and sweating that he was not going to "make it." But on the outside, he was still the calm, suave, respectable Sage Date.

Then Cye took a water bottle out from only God knows where, and started chugging the Aquafina.

Glug...glug...glug...

Sage's eyes crossed and he knew he couldn't hold it any more.

He was about to say something to Kento about his so-called "situation" when Rowen suddenly, and simply, screamed out, "Bear! Guys! I saw a bear!"

"Where!?!" Kento called back and the jeep started to swerve a bit as the driver looked in search of Rowen's bear.

Sage bit his lip in desperation.

"Dude, Rowen, that's just a clump of dead bushes." Ryo pointed out from the passenger's side.

Sure enough, upon closer inspection Rowen's bear was a patch of thorn bushes partially covered with snow.

Sage rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Putz."

"OOOOH so it is." Rowen observantly commented, "Huh. It looked like a bear."

"Sure it did." Sage said under his breath.

Rowen turned to Sage, oblivious, "What was that Sage?"

"Nothing." Sage smiled back. Again he was just about to relay to Kento about his "predicament" when Ryo unexpectedly pushed in a tape into the cassette player.

Two seconds later they were rewarded with loud, deafening music that seemed to drown-out the world around them, not to mention Sage's plea.

"IT'S JUST THE BEAST UNDER YOUR BED! IN YOUR CLOSET! IN YOUR HEAD!" Ryo half-shouted, half sung along.

The speakers seemed to vibrate as if in an earthquake, while the rear window was rattling so bad Sage was almost certain it would shatter.

And it continued...

"EXIT LIGHT!" suddenly the half-screaming, half tone deaf sound came from next to him. Sage looked bewildered as he turned to see Rowen head banging and singing (if you could call it that) along with the music, "ENTER NIGHT! TAKE MY HAND..."

Sage ingenuously took his hands and covered his ears.

Suddenly Ryo looked back at Rowen, and Rowen leaned forward holding up his right hand in a fist, sticking his index and pinky finger out. And then the two shrieked together, "OFF TO NEVER NEVER LAND!"

Sage softly started to hit the back of his head against the car seat. Finally, having enough (no one could take that abuse anymore) Sage scooted forward enough so he could poke Kento.

When Kento felt his shoulder being tapped, he turned around to look at the culprit and didn't realize that the steering wheel went with him.

The jeep went flying to the right of the road and Sage and Rowen went flying towards Cye, landing right on top the poor Brit. The auburn hair boy's face was smashed against the window, and as an innocent passerby car drove by they had a lovely sight of Cye's smooshed nose and a bunch of flailing limbs all tangled in a pile.

Needless to say the man and his wife, plus three kids, a dog, a cat, a hamster, and a car full of luggage were all laughing hysterically at the sight.

Also needless to say they just happened to have a video camera and they just happened to video tape it...

"OFF OF ME!" Cye immediately demanded, pushing Rowen off first. And then Sage.

"Well, testy..." Rowen smirked, then got a glimpse of the car next to them. "HEY! That kid stuck his tongue out at me!"

Cye looked out the window, "Oh mate, looks like he did..." he shrugged, and turned back to his attention to his Home Cooking magazine he was reading before Rowen and Sage had landed on top of him.

"Hey Kento-" Sage started again, but was interrupted.

"Hey!" Rowen sounded upset, "He did it again!"

Without warning Rowen was climbing over Sage's lap and plopped down on Cye's.

"Rowen what are you-OOF!" Cye complained, but Rowen paid no heed.

Promptly the archer stuck his tongue back out at the kid in the car.

All the while the family was still getting this on camera...

"Battle of the wits, huh Ro?" Ryo teased from the front and Rowen slapped him on the back of the head.

"Ow..." Ryo complained, rubbing his head. He kept quiet after that.

"Rowen stop, that's not mature!" Cye protested when Rowen proceeded to stick out his tongue again and make a horrible face at the little kid.

"I'm not gonna stop till the brat does..." Rowen growled, making another lovely face at the kid.

Sage watched Rowen with disgust. But a little bump in the road reminded him of what his task at hand was. He tapped Kento's shoulder again.

"WHAT?" Kento demanded, and like before, when he turned around the jeep when swerving to the right of the road, nearly hitting the car in the lane next to them.

The car that was still filming them.

The aftermath wasn't pretty. Thankfully this time Sage had been spared, but Rowen had ended up plastered to Cye's window.

Tongue and all.

"Oh see, look what you've gone and done?" Cye scolded, repelled that Rowen (in his fall towards the window) had rumpled his magazine.

"Cyyyyyyyyyyyfffeeee-" came a request from the window.

"No. I don't find this funny, not one bit at-" Cye stopped when he finally noticed Rowen's tongue stuck to the window. The blue haired boy was trying desperately to pull his organ of speech from the cold piece of glass, only to no avail.

"That's it! That's it!" Kento proclaimed from the driver's seat, "Since Rowen can't get a control on his maturity level, I'm pulling over!"

"PLEASE!" Sage gasped. Becoming a little too emotional, "I HAVE TO PEE!"

The jeep reached dead silence as Sage declared his dilemma. The music stopped, Cye ceased complaining about his magazine, Rowen's tongue popped off the window, and you could hear a pin drop...

Literally.

Everyone's gaze went directly to the violet eyes that belonged to the Ronin Warrior of Halo. To say they were shocked was an understatement. They were completely (and utterly) stunned stupid.

Kento immediately pulled over, swerving right in front of the car with the camera, and came to a tottery stop at the side of the icy road. Upon stopping, all eyes went back to Sage.

Sage squirmed under the stares and swallowed nervously, "Er." He muttered unintelligently and decided it was not a time for words, but a time to pee. "Yeah." He concluded before taking the opportunity to push his way through Rowen's vacant seat and out the back door of the jeep.

Slamming the door shut Sage hurriedly retreated to the side of the road. Muttering dull-witted comments to himself, he looked around for an appropriate place to let loose. In search of the perfect spot to pee he noticed that all around him were endless miles and miles of snow, just a continuous blanket of snow.

Sage closed his eyes in a makeshift meditation in an attempt to calm himself from his current predicament. A couple of deep breaths later he was reluctantly proceeding.

Turning around skeptically eyeing his companions he found that they were all staring, gaping at him, their faces pressed to the windows of the jeep like if they were watching a once in a life time event happening that would never happen again.

This was not a peep show, Sage scowled.

What!?! Did they think Sage Date was too dignified, too holy to go number 1???

It was then and there he thankfully sent a prayer to the heavens he didn't have to go number 2.

Trudging through the icy terrain Sage mumbled to himself, "I can not believe this is happening to me."

Where were the trees if this was the great outdoors? Where were the friggin' giant boulders of Ryo's wild, uncivilized, boonie-ville? And where the hell were the god damned port-a-potties?!?

But on second thought Sage thought it better to "rough it" then brave an Andy Gump.

Realization that his only cover from that of inquisitorial eyes would be a ratty, old bush. Much like the one earlier Rowen had claimed been a "bear". He snorted, disgusted at the day's turn of events as he shuffled very indiscreetly behind the shrub. He prayed that no cars would drive by and one swift glance behind him he was clear. Besides the only car they had encountered the last fifty miles was the one Rowen had made faces at.

Turning his back to the street, he carefully unzipped his pant and let 'er loose.

AAAAAaaaAAaaaaaaaAaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

At Sage's present moment he couldn't be more grateful then he was right now. With a little astute shake and a zip, his bladder was empty and oh-so-much-better. Feeling relieved and ten times better, he was ready once again to face Ryo's camping trip from hell.

Almost feeling blithe, Sage turned around...

And faced his impeding doom.

HONK! HONK!

Even the spying and, or snickering Ronins in the jeep jumped at the sudden loud honking. But their startled faces were nothing compared to that of the completely aghast blonde behind the façade of a thicket.

A large yellow bus drove by honking loudly, obviously offended by Sage's actions. Several fingers were pointed out of the windows in his direction along with several high pitched screams.

The bus had large word written across it: Oosaka Catholic High School, in bold, unmistakable letters that made Sage's eyes bulge. Oosaka was the all girls school that neighbored his own school.

He managed to turn tomato red from extreme embarrassment. Then slowly, and almost painfully, turned his head to see what had been discovered and pointed beside him...

And to his ultimate dismay a small trail of yellow snow was leading to a miniature blob of matching snow in plain as day view to those riding in the high leveled bus.

The usually calm, passive, strong, collected Sage paled and went limp, fainting gracefully to the ground, almost as if he was in slow motion...

Then the polished and prim Warrior of Halo landed smack dab in the middle of the yellow snow, out like a light.

--

The next thing Sage remembered was being smacked repeatedly on the face. "SAGE! SAGE!" it was Rowen's voice calling him back to the cruel world of reality.

Blurred violet eyes hazily blinked open.

"Sage man, you okay?" that was obviously Ryo.

Four pairs of worried eyes surrounded him on all sides.

Sage wanted nothing more than to be unconscious again as the realization of what had happened before he passed out began to sink in.

Oh God... His humiliation was like a dark cloud hanging over his head.

"Sage?" Cye inquired, the Brit hovering over him in a protective way only Cye could pull off. He carried a plastic med kit from only God knows where.

Sage grunted an affirmative and waved Cye's Barney Band-Aids away.

Kento offered a hand to help him up but being back into normal Sage awareness he declined, pushing himself out of the snow. Brushing stray branches and leaves from his attire, he headed silently back to the jeep.

Leaving four very startled Ronin Warriors behind him.

Thankfully nobody said a word about the smell of urine coming from the backseat the last two hours to the camp or they would've felt the wrath of Sage's evil eye.

And trust me, you didn't want that.


End.