No One Will Ever Know

Chapter 1 - Hermione's Secret

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...JK Rowling does....oh well

Hermione Granger is feeling very depressed and there is only one person she feels can make her feel better - Ron Weasley, but he doesn't know how she feels about him.One night she gets the chance to be with him and possibly let him know how she feels but is her idea a good one?

Distant voices faded into nothing but muffled laughter, shouts and rude songs and then eventually silence as Hermione Granger made her way out into the Hogwarts Grounds. A chilly night air bit her fingers and ears as she stepped outside. She wished she had brought a warm coat or at least her robes as the frosty night surrounded her. A bright moon was visible in the cloudless sky and the only other light came from a few rooms belonging to students celebrating Gryffindor's victory in winning the Quidditch House Cup.
It was very late; around two in the morning, Hermione guessed and all the Gryffindors had been staying up celebrating. If they weren't playing pranks on teachers or other students, dancing in the common room, eating in the Great Hall, 'spending time' with their girl friends or boyfriends they were clonked out on some bed or sofa after getting too drunk.
'Hmph', Hermione snorted as she thought about what a sorry sight they would be in the morning with huge hangovers or waking up in God knows who's bed after a drunken one night stand. At least she wasn't doing anything outrageous. Yeah, she thought sarcastically, Good old Hermione. Never does anything unexpected or says anything unpredictable, well, maybe get bad results in her O. W. L. s but that's about it. You can always count on her to 'do the right thing'. She snorted again, letting her breath appear in front of her in the cold. She was so angry with herself tonight. Maybe it was the small glass of fire whiskey she had drunk taking its effect on her. She suddenly felt depressed and angry at herself for being so uptight. She had been feeling like this ever since her fifth year when she had received her O. W. L results and got disappointing results.
Now in her seventh and final year she had vowed things would be different. There would be a whole new Hermione; exciting and wild . . . . . but those kind of dreams are short lived when you're Hermione Granger. Just as she had predicted she began the year successfully but after a week she had got scared of being new and had given up. At least she looked different . . . kind of . . . her hair was longer and the sun had made it more golden. She took more care in straightening it and had more pride in her appearance. But pride comes before a fall . . . after receiving the place of Head Girl she had been harassed by Draco Malfoy (who was Head Boy) to go out with him. When she refused he took it badly - very badly. He retaliated with spiteful taunts, calling her a dirty little whore and spreading rumours about her doing things she'd never dreamed of doing - bad things involving boys. Malfoy still didn't give up asking her to go out with him; he even attacked her one night when she was walking to the Common Room. He had sneaked up behind her and grabbed her. She had had no time to use her wand he had held her down and had threatened her with the familiar 'if-you- don't-go-out-with-me-I'll-fuck-you-so-hard-you-won't-be-able-to-walk- again'. At the time she had been terrified but luckily a teacher was passing and Draco got scared and ran for it. Since then she was worried he'd try it again but to everyone else she was just normal Hermione. The rumours didn't last very long (after all she was just plain old boring Hermione Granger) and she decided no one would believe her about the attack either.
Hermione was too frightened and embarrassed to tell anyone about whet Draco threatened her with - even Ron and Harry, although they were the only ones to not believe the rumours. Since the attack (which took place at the start of the year) Hermione had sunk into a depression, losing weight and becoming more withdrawn. Even Ron and Harry had noticed the difference in her and they were worried about her. Her figure was now thin and frail. All the girls envied her now completely flat stomach and slender arms but underneath her thin figure was a frightened and saddened Hermione. Was she doomed to spending her days alone and in self pity like Rmus Lupin; with greying hair long before it was due and a body which was wasting away?
She made her way towards the lake and observed her reflection in the icy water. To any other seventeen year old girl she would look pretty normal and to any other seventeen year old boy she would look pretty. Her long hair flowed down her sides and shone in the moonlight. Her slim figure was brought out by the clothes she wore - a long denim skirt hugging her curves and a long-sleeved dark turquoise blouse. Hermione made a face at the girl in the water and the reflection made a face back. She hated the way she looked. She was only thin because she was constantly depressed and she only had nice long hair because she wanted to hide her thinning body.
A tear rolled down her cheek as she thought about everyone else-happy and celebrating, not caring. Ron and Harry were spending more time together, sometimes subconsciously leaving Hermione out of the conversations. But that was partly her own fault. She was so determined to remain quiet and reserved she even distanced herself from her friends.
Right now Harry and Ron were in the Common Room, getting drunk and dancing with some girls. Again the sadness came back to her. Hermione had a secret, something she dared never tell anyone and if she did she would never be able to hide the mortification. For the past two years her love for a certain person was developing. She blushed every time she thought about the person. She knew it was quite childish but she loved the feeling of spending time with him and getting those butterflies every time he made her laugh. She was in love with Ron. As soon as she had realised her feelings she had finished her relationship with her boyfriend Viktor and had taken more time to get to know Ron. He was completely oblivious of course; she couldn't bear the thought of Ron not returning her love. They could talk about almost anything and if Hermione had not become so depressed she would have joined in his jokes and he might have started to notice her more. But she quickly stopped thinking about Ron. It was too painful to think that she was distancing herself from the person she loved more than anyone else. Ron had matured so much in the past two years and he was devastated to find out he had not got Head Boy.
So was Hermione . . . . but suddenly something made her begin to smile- she had an idea and things didn't seem so bad.