Begging For Maternity part one

Pairing: Draco/Harry, Ron/Hermione hints

Contents:  humor, Mpreg!Draco, Harry/Hand, Endearing!Snape, sap, and just plain weirdness abound.  PWP (Plot, What Plot?).  Slight possible OOC-ness.

Rating: R

Notes:  This is the sequel to Begging For A Detention.  Might make more sense if you read that one first.

Warnings: Slash, and MPREG, which means that a guy gets pregnant.  This is mainly humorous, and a parody...etc.  Don't take everything too seriously, kay?

Disclaimer:  I do not own any of these characters- they all belong to J. K. Rowling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          His mother had told him many times, with a brilliant light in her eyes, how much she wished to be a grandmother some day, and to hear the pitter-patter of little Malfoy feet in the mansion again.  She told him that she missed the cooing and the silly games she used to play with him when he was a young tot.

          'This must be meta pause,' Draco thought.

          His mother wanted him to pursue a perfect life-mate and breed, and his father was itching for an heir.

          "She better be a pure-blood!" he told his son.

          But what if he couldn't find a suitable life-mate?  What if all the true purebloods left were cousins? What then?

          He'd probably have to mate with Pansy Parkinson, then.

          'Hell no!' Draco thought, 'I can't stand the wench!'  It was bad enough that he shared his toothbrush with her one time that he'd have to share his genes, too!

Not only that, but he already was in love with someone else… and he had been trying to woo that someone else for months now.  That certain someone won't be able to produce an heir for the Malfoys.  Not only because the person wasn't really a pureblood, but also because the certain person was a male.  And Draco actually preferred it that way.  For he was gay—and his love interest was Harry Potter.

          Oh, woe was he.

          Draco sat up in bed with a jolt.  An idea had hit him on what to do about his inability to produce an heir.  He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner!  He was one of the best in Potions, was he not?  And he was rather good in Charms, too.

          He shall be the first to make a potion that'll aid all gay wizards everywhere!

~**~

          Professor Severus Snape rubbed at his eyes and blurrily looked at his giant black and white cat clock (complete with moving tail and eyes) and noticed that it was twelve forty-three.

          Snape sighed. 'Bloody hell, it's past the cat's ass.'

          The dark and creepy professor was about to put his stuff away when there was a knock on the door. 'I don't need this…' Snape thought.

          "Enter." He said grumpily.

          "Sir!" Draco bounded into the room with a happy yet desperate gleam in his eyes, "Ooo, sir!  I need your help!"  He sat down in the chair in front of Snape's desk, wiggling his bottom in it excitedly.

          "Mr. Malfoy… it is too late—er—early in the morning to be this enthusiastic.  And just why aren't you in bed?  Don't you need your beauty sleep?"

          "Oh, sir, you flatter me!" Draco chuckled behind his hand, "But, really, will you help me?"

          Snape sighed.  "Again?"

          "Please, sir!" Draco pouted, and then fidgeted in his seat again. "I am in a dire crisis!  I don't think that I could do it alone!  I know that I'm pretty good in Potions, but you're a Master."

          Snape tried to hide the small blush that crept across his face.  "Go on." He said quietly.

          "Well, sir… my Mother wishes to be a grandmother soon, and my Father is antsy for an heir to the Malfoy throne."

          "Yes.  I have heard your father prattling on and on about you providing him with pureblooded grandchildren.  What is your point, Draco?"

          "Don't you remember my problem last time?  You helped me get a taste of my obsession by giving me and him detention."

          Snape shut his eyes in disgust. "Yes, Draco, I remember."

          Draco wiggled his bum in the chair again, and the bridge of his freckled nose tinted.

          "Professor, sir… I want to have his child."

          Severus' jaw dropped before he promptly fainted.

~*~

          It was rather unfortunate that Professor Snape had fallen asleep on him like that, but it was fortunate that he had found the key to the professor's potions cabinet (there was a curse on it, so he couldn't use a spell to open it).

          'He will be so proud of me for doing it by myself.' Draco thought.  Fortunately, he had an idea of what ingredients went into such a potion.  Unfortunately, he wasn't sure of the amount of certain ingredients went in and how long he needed to cook it.  This was where Professor Snape came in.

          As Draco was taking out one of the important ingredients, he'd come across something rather startling.  Just as Snape woke up, rubbing his forehead (where he'd hit it on his desk when he passed out), he noticed Draco had done two things- opened his Potions cabinet without his permission, and found his secret childhood toy.

          "Batty!" Snape cried uncharacteristically.

          Draco blinked in surprise, as he looked at Snape, then at the old, raggedy stuffed bat.  "Batty?"

          Severus came to his senses and quickly moved to snatch the stuffed animal out of Draco's hands.

          "Don't you dare touch Batty ever again!  Do you understand?" He said, cradling it to his chest.

          "Er—yes sir," Draco said, "But, sir…"

          "Do not ask questions!" Snape snapped.  He stuck Batty into his robe. "You will not speak of it to anyone!"

          Draco nodded, but then he got a very evil idea.

          "Sir… if you help me with my potion, I promise to never speak of Batty to anyone."

          Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously, "Are you threatening me?" he said disbelievingly.

          Draco raised his eyes to the ceiling, as well as his brow, pretending to mull it over.  "Er… perhaps…"

          "YOU WILL GET DETENTION FOR BLACKMAILING A TEACHER!"

          Draco whistled innocently, still looking upward, and rocking on his heels with his hands behind his back.

          "…WITH FILCH!" Snape bellowed, losing his temper.

          Draco brought his gaze back to Snape, brows still raised, and a smug smile on.

          "Sure, go ahead.  I'm sure Mr. Filch would love to hear about Batty.  It might brighten his day."

          Snape went white.  Then, after a few moments of consideration, he said, "What do you need help with?"

          Draco smiled, and asked Snape what he needed to know.

~**~

          The week had been a rightful bore to Harry Potter.  Nothing exciting had been happening to him since last Monday when Malfoy had flirted with him excessively.  The first time he and Malfoy kissed or done anything real sexual was when he got them both put into detention.  Malfoy had been trying and trying to get Harry to go farther than kissing and groping, but Harry wasn't going to allow it.

          'He's such a bloody horn-dog!' Harry mused.  One time Malfoy had gotten close to breaking the boarder line, but Harry had enough will power to grab Malfoy's hand before it got too far.

          But lately Malfoy's been very quiet and been staying a good distance away.  Harry never thought he'd be actually missing the prat's sexual advances.

          "Something's wrong…" Harry muttered.

          "You worry too much." Ron said.  They were sitting in the library after Hermione had persuaded them to study with her.  If dragging someone by the ear was a type of persuasion.

          "What's the matter, Harry?" Hermione said, looking concerned.  She'd been reading the new edition of Men Who Love Dragons Too Much.

          Harry turned his head this way and that, "Something is definitely wrong… it's been too quiet lately and I don't like it."

          "Do you think something big is gonna happen?" She asked.

          "Maybe," Harry said. "Possibly.  Could be… there's a chance…"

          "You need to calm down, Har!" Said Ron, "Just because it's been a peaceful week, doesn't mean anything bad is about to happen.  Just relax, ok?"

          Harry's eyes darted wildly.  "Y-yeah.  Relax.  Right."

          "Maybe if you try concentrating more on your homework you'll relax." Hermione suggested.

          "You think that will relax me?" Harry said cynically.

          "It might." She said. "You never know."

          "Maybe it might relax you, Herm." Ron said.

          Hermione stuck her tongue out stubbornly.  Ron raised his brow at this.

          "You planning to use that?"

          "RON!" Hermione went pink.  Ron and Harry laughed.

          'Maybe something won't happen.' Harry thought with a small smile.

~**~

          Draco, with Snape's help, finished off the last thing that was needed in the potion.  It took them a week, but they did it… the first protocol potion to make men pregnant!

          "Now, what else is needed?" Snape wondered aloud, thumbing through his ingredients list.  "We've got the Ovule of the Venus flytrap, the Milt Milk, the Essence of Estrone, and the Extract of Ashwinder yolk."

          "Am I missing something here, sir, or are those all ingredients for making the womb?"

          "Yes." Snape said, deep in thought. "Yes…"

          "Then, don't we need—er—I don't know… DNA samples or something?"

          "Er… well…" Snape said, "I suppose we do."

          "So, we need a bit of me…"

          "We would just need your blood, since you'll be the mother."

          Draco blushed. "Yes… so, what about Potter…?"

          Snape's eyes shut in horror and he bared his teeth.

          "We need… his sperm."

          Draco blinked.  "Oh."

          Snape blanched. "Oh, indeed."

          "So… how do we go about doing that?"

          "WE??" Snape growled, "What's all this we stuff?"

          "But- I thought you'd help me!"

          "I AM NOT HELPING YOU MILK POTTER!"

          Draco frowned.  "But, how am I going to get Potter to give me his sperm?  Am I supposed to just walk up to him and say: 'Hey, Potter.  How're you doing?  Oh, by the way, can you spare a cup of sperm?'  He's not going to just give me some, just like that.  I should know, I've tried."

          Snape gone white again.  "Look… are you a Slytherin, or not?  Use that ambition and resourcefulness you've got running through your veins and make Potter give up some!"

          Draco knitted his brows, thinking deeply.  He supposed he could try getting into Potter's trousers again.  He hadn't done that in a week or so.  It was worth a shot.

~**~

          The weekend was finally here, and Harry was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with his two best friends.  He was just starting to climb the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower when a pair of hands grabbed one of his arms and pulled him into an empty classroom.

          "WHAT THE--!!"

          He was then promptly shoved up against the wall roughly, and nimble fingers were deftly undoing the front of his jeans.  Harry screwed his eyes up in pain from the sudden blow to the head (A/N: No, not that head!), but the feel of hands going into his trousers made his eyes snap back open.  There, before him, was Draco Malfoy.  He was grinning smugly, like a cat stalking his prey, as he ogled Harry.

          "Good evening, Potter." Malfoy drawled. "Long time no feel."

          "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, YOU PERVERT!"

          "Now, Potter… don't tell me you haven't been missing me?"

          "I SAID GET OFF!"  Harry shouted, grasping Draco's wrist.

          "You're such a big baby, Potter!" Malfoy sneered.

          Harry yanked Draco's hand out of his trousers before he could really get a hold of Harry's manhood.

          "Do you really think you can get away with pushing me up against a wall and molesting me??  I will report you to Dumbledore, you know!"

          "Well, don't get your knickers in a twist, Potter!  I just thought you could use some sexual gratification."

          "If I did want some, I wouldn't want it from you!"

          "You enjoyed getting your monkey spanked by me last time, and you know it."

          "Now you're just dreaming, Malfoy!" Harry spat.

          "Am I?" Draco smirked, "Then why did you moan my name when you came?"

          Harry pushed Draco away, "Shut it, Malfoy!"

          Draco frowned. "You're such an ungrateful git, Potter!"

          "No, you're the git, Malfoy!" Harry shouted as he briskly walked out of the room.  Draco followed him.

          "You're the git, Potter!"

          "You are!"

          "You are!"

          "You are, you are, you are, you are!"

          "YOU ARE!!" Draco then added- "INFINITY!"

          "Silence!" shouted Professor McGonagall.  The two teenagers slammed their mouths shut and stared wide-eyed at the professor.  "I don't know what you two are arguing about, but it's almost curfew so you two best be off to your dorms."

          "Yes, Professor." Said Harry.  Draco nodded.

          "Off with you, now." She said.

          With one last lingering glare, Harry and Draco went their separate ways.

~***~

          Time and time again, Draco tried to get into Harry's pants, and time again Harry had eluded his efforts.  Harry kept on telling Draco that he'd turn him in for sexual assault, but he never did.  Harry never even turned him in the first time they touched, when he made Harry groan and come into his hand.  He never made any kind of threat before, and Draco was thoroughly confused.  Why did Potter want to say those things when he didn't even follow through with them?  Did Harry secretly want Draco to fondle him, or was it some sort of odd defense?

          Finally, Draco had given up.  He decided that it was time for a different approach.  He used his ambitious, devious mind to come up with a plan.  He, then, decided that if Potter didn't want to 'come' willingly (A/N: sorry for the bad pun!), he would make Potter have to… along with the rest of the seventh years!

          He didn't go to Snape again.  This time he went to Madam Pomfrey.

          "You want me to do what?" Madam Pomfrey gasped.

          "I want you to give all of the seventh years a health examination." Draco told her.

          "Do you have orders or permission from the headmaster?"

          Draco frowned. "Not from the headmaster, no.  But, if you ask Professor Snape about it, he will tell you that it's ok."

          "I am not going to give health examinations without a written order from your Head of House, and Professor Dumbledore."

          "Damn!" he swore under his breath. "Well, then I will go and get your written order." He turned on his heel and stormed out.

~*~

          Draco had no problems in getting the order form signed by Snape.  Now came the tricky part… getting Dumbledore to sign it.

          "Hmm…" said the headmaster upon looking at the written form, "Health examination, you say?  What has brought this on, Mr. Malfoy?"

          "Uh…" Draco thought fast, "I just thought it would be a good idea to have today's wizards and witches checked… to see if they're physically healthy enough for the real world."

          "I see." said Dumbledore, "and just why do you think your classmates need to be given check-ups the Muggle way?"

          Draco's eyes widened in horror.  He didn't think of that!

          "You weren't thinking of that little detail, were you, Mr. Malfoy?"

          Draco lowered his eyes.  Now what should he do?

          "Tell me of your purpose, and perhaps I will grant you this favor."

          Draco's head snapped up in shock.  Did he dare tell Dumbledore the truth?  Should he confide in the old coot?

          "I…" Draco began.

          "Are you doing this for yourself?  Is this act selfish?"

          "N-not completely, no."

          "Whom else are you doing this for?"

          Draco wouldn't meet his eyes.  "H-Harry Potter." He grumbled.

          Dumbledore leaned forward in his seat, "Come again?"

          Draco turned red from the unintentional innuendo. "Harry Potter." He said louder.

          Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Ah.  I see."

          There was an odd kind of silence, and then Dumbledore said- "Will Harry be happy with the results of your plan?"

          Draco knitted his brow in concentration.  "I hope so."

~**~

          He couldn't believe it.  Dumbledore signed the form!  The old codger really was more gullible than he thought!  With a spring in his step, Draco went to Madame Pomfrey and presented the written form to her.  She furrowed her brow in thought and then went to work on writing up the announcement to post on the bulletin board.

          "Health examinations?"  Ron said, exasperated.  "Why do we need to be examined?  I thought that whenever we go into the hospital wing for the flu or whatever, she checks us over with a spell."

          "Well, it says here that Dumbledore wants us all checked for more than just health reasons.  It says that boys will need a sperm count, and the girls need a pap smear." Hermione said.

          "A WHAT??" Ron gasped.

          "A pap smear is where they check a woman's ovaries for…"

          "Not that!" Ron groaned, "What's the deal with this sperm count?  Isn't there a spell to check things like that?"

          "Apparently not," Harry said, looking unamused by the announcement.

          "Well, I suppose we should get on with it, then." Hermione said, "Don't want to get into trouble for not following orders from the headmaster."

          Ron groaned.

          "What's wrong, Weasley?"  Draco said, appearing behind them.  "Afraid that you might have abnormal looking sperm?"

          The Gryffindor trio turned to meet the grinning Slytherin.  Ron turned dark red.

          "You're the one that'll have abnormal sperm!"

          "Don't count on it, Weasley.  Heh, get it?  Count?"

          Harry shook with unknown anger. "Why don't you go and—and…"

          "Yes, Potter?  What do you want me to do?"

          Harry's eyes flashed. "Go and practice giving sperm!"

          Draco blinked in amusement and shock.

          "Good one, Harry!" Ron said, slapping him on the back. "I've never heard of telling someone to go screw themselves in that way before!"

          Draco cracked a smile. "Yes, interesting way of putting it, Potter.  But I'm afraid that you will need the practice more than I."  He proceeded to mock Harry by moving his fist in an awkward motion in front of his groin.  "Must remember to aim it correctly and not shoot your wad into Madam Pomfrey's eye."

          Harry took out his wand and pointed it at Draco's chest. "Go to hell, Malfoy!"

          "I doubt you'd be saying that in a few months."

          "Wanna bet?"

          Draco's eyes gleamed challengingly. "Yes.  How much?"

          "Harry, don't…" Hermione began.

          "Tell Galleons." Harry said, ignoring Hermione's protests.

          "Only ten, Potter?  I think it should be twenty."

          Ron sputtered.  Harry looked slightly alarmed.

          "What's the matter?" Draco asked, "Don't have twenty Galleons to spare?"

          Harry chewed on his bottom lip for a bit before replying.

          "All right.  Twenty it is."

          "Deal!" Draco offered his hand to shake.

          "Harry, no!" Hermione gasped.

          Harry slowly took Malfoy's hand, and Draco tightened his grip some while shaking.  Harry gripped harder.

          "You'll be eating those words, Malfoy.  And coughing up twenty Galleons."

          "No, I think it is you who will be coughing up twenty Galleons—and eating crow to boot."

          Harry narrowed his gaze. "We'll see."

          "Yes.  We shall."

~**~

          First day of the check-ups, and the only one that seemed pleased by this was Draco.

          "I don't wanna check-up!" whined Pansy.

          "I hate being poked and touched down there." Said Millicent.

          "I don't doubt it." Draco murmured.

          "Draco, I don't want to!" Pansy pouted.

          "Nothing I can do about it," he smiled wickedly.

          The seventh years got called into the hospital wing by alphabetical order.  Every time someone had to leave for their check-up, the other Housemates would wave goodbye, some mockingly and some reassuringly.

          "It's good to be last." Blaise Zabini said with a wide grin.

          "Shut up." Said Crabbe, looking pale.

          Hannah Abbott was one of the first to go.  She looked as if she were about to faint on the way there.

          "Think of it as getting it all over with," Justin told her.

          When it was Lavender Brown's turn, she was shaking so badly she couldn't even stand up.  Her friend Parvati helped her up and to the infirmary.

          Soon, the M's came up, and Ernie Macmillan was next.  Unfortunately, he was a bit armed.

          "I'M NOT GOING!" Ernie screamed, pointing his wand at the head table where the teachers were sitting, "IT'S A CONSPIRACY!  DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOUR SPERM!!"  Then, he cupped his left hand over his crotch, hips thrusting in a rather rude gesture, "YOU WON'T TAKE US ALIVE!!"

          Suddenly there was a shout of "STUPEFY!" and Ernie fell to the floor, hand still over his groin.

          "Sorry, Mr. Macmillan," drawled Professor Snape, "But you have to get your sperm counted just like everyone else."  There was a touch of malice in his voice as he said this.

          The other Hufflepuffs frowned as they watched their Prefect get dragged off by his heels.  Many of the Slytherins, and even some of the Gryffindors were laughing at the scene.

          "It's not really as bad as people make it out to be." Said Neville.  Everyone looked at him in surprise.

          "So, how's it done?" Ron asked, "What do you do to get your sperm counted?"

          Neville went red.

          "Come on, tell us!" Ron pleaded.

          "I'll tell you." Seamus said with a grin.

          "Ok, how do they do it then?"

          Seamus had to lean over the table to whisper it into Ron's ear.

          When Seamus was finished with explaining things to Ron, Ron's eyes were wide, and his ears went pink.

          "YOU'RE KIDDING!"

          "Nope.  And that is the more pleasant bit of the check-up."

          "Oh… dear… god…" Ron started to turn different colors of the spectrum.  Hermione placed a hand onto his forehead, no doubt checking if he were all right, and Harry sat there staring oddly at his best friend.

          Malfoy had been called up after a minute or so.  Many thought he was going to put up a fight like Ernie did, but he just stood up with his head held high and marched out of the Great Hall toward the hospital wing.

          When Draco came back, he had a very big, satisfactory grin on his face.

          "Pervy git." Ron said, glaring.

          Time ticked by, and soon the P's came up.  Pansy was one of the first to go for her examination, along with the Patil twins, and Perks.  It whittled down the line and finally it was Harry's turn.  He strode into the infirmary looking as bold as he could.  Pomfrey checked him over, even to see if he had a hernia, and then presented him with a small cup.

          "Mr. Potter, I need your sample now…"

          "Oh!" Harry said with pink cheeks as he took the cup. "Er—ok."

          He went into a private room that had a magazine rack, a soft chair, and a full-length mirror.  Harry sat down awkwardly in the chair and eyed the magazine rack.  It was filled with Playwizard and The Pyramid (it's like Penthouse for wizards).  There didn't seem to be any magazines with naked men in them.  Not that he wanted to look at any of those kind!

          Harry decided to use his imagination.  Shyly he undid his pants and reached in with his right hand as he held onto the cup tightly in his left.  He had no idea what he had to be shy about- there was no one there!  Harry shut his eyes and relaxed his body.  He let his mind wander, thinking of what he found sexy at the moment, or something that turned him on.  Strangely enough, he started to daydream about flying his broom and playing an international game for London.  Everyone else was playing like a sloth compared to his abilities.  His body held onto the broom tightly, fists beginning to sweat, chest heaving… he could see the golden Snitch only a couple feet ahead of him.  The other team's Seeker had no chance in the world—Harry would win; he will nab that Snitch from the air like it was a slow flying beetle.

          The wind whipped around him as he inched closer.  He rubbed his body against his broom in excitement, and as he did so, his real body was getting hard, and his hand began to slowly move.

          Within a few seconds, Harry had caught the little elusive ball easily between his forefinger and thumb.  The crowd was going nuts… London had won the championship!  And it was all because of him—Harry and his excellent Seeker skills.  The crowd was cheering his name, holding up banners that had his name on them, and waving the British flag.  Harry had never felt more ecstatic or more hungry… his eyes seeked out for someone… the other team's Seeker he was playing against.

          Surprisingly, Harry's imagination provided him with the rival team as Ireland, and dressed all in green came the new Ireland Seeker… Draco Malfoy.

          Both real Harry and his imaginary self was shocked.  Imaginary Malfoy flew to him, sneer and look of pure unhappiness etched on his face.  Harry was feeling so good he couldn't even get himself to jeer Malfoy properly, so instead he held a hand out for Malfoy to shake.

          "Good game, Malfoy…" he had said to Draco.  His body was still filled with electric energy from flying and winning; his groin felt as if it were about to pop right out.

          Malfoy gazed at Harry's face for a while, and then looked down at his hand.  With a look that could be passed off as anger, Malfoy grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it, just as he did when he made the bet with Harry.  Harry gave Malfoy's hand a hard squeeze as well, and then they were suddenly flying toward the ground, still holding onto each other's hand… things got rough, they argued and had a small fistfight, but then Harry pinned Malfoy to the ground.  "I will always top you, Malfoy… admit defeat… admit that I'm the better wizard."

          Draco, red faced and breathing hard like Harry, opened his mouth and squeaked out an affirmative.  Harry lowered himself to Draco's face and began to kiss him silly.  He felt Malfoy groan in his mouth, and then run his fingers through his hair.  Harry rubbed against Malfoy's thigh, and Malfoy jolted his hips upward.  They thrashed against each other and…

          Harry gasped, mouth open in pure bliss as he did his duty in the cup.  When he finally came down from cloud nine, he had just realized that he had fantasized about Draco Malfoy!

          "Damn him and his mind games!" Harry huffed.  Malfoy had been the only one to touch him that way… to kiss him so hotly… to make him come with barely any effort.

          He finally emerged out of the room to hand the cup to Madam Pomfrey, his face bright red and his breathing labored.  She took it without a word, but she had a bit of a twinkle in her eye.  Harry walked out quickly, feeling as if the nurse had just caught him in the act.

~**~

          Everyone was finally done with his or her examinations.  Ron had been embarrassed about doing it at first, but when he returned, he had quietly told Harry and Hermione that he got carried away and had handed Madame Pomfrey three cups full.  Oddly enough as that was, Pomfrey only handed Ron one cup before he started.  Hermione guessed that Ron had used a multiplying charm on the cup to make two more.  She was not as impressed as Ron had hoped, making her think that he could come twice as much, or get it up more times than the normal guy.

          The tests came back positive, and everyone had decided to celebrate the success by having a party in their own common rooms.  Draco, however, snuck out to the hospital wing to visit the nurse.  After he had explained many times that Dumbledore and Snape had agreed upon it, she finally gave in and handed him a long test tube with the label 'Harry Potter' on it.

          "You better be on the up and up about this, Mr. Malfoy, or I'll speak with the headmaster."

          "Me and Professor Dumbledore already had words, remember?  That was why he Okayed the little health examination in the first place."

          She huffed and turned away.  Draco smiled in triumphant as he held the vial in his hand.  He finally had the last ingredient.

          He practically ran to his room, almost knocking over a third year.  He took the potion out of the cupboard, which was next to his desk, and immediately pulled the cork off of the vial and poured it all in.  The liquid in the tube was luckily still white, and Malfoy prayed that none of the little sperm had died when he released the cork.  He did his best to make sure most of it was in the potion before he started to stir it.  He mixed it counterclockwise nine times, and then, before the potion expired, he downed it all in one gulp.

          It tasted like over ripe vanilla concentrate.  Draco sat into his chair and stared at the top of his desk.  He felt normal for about a minute before he felt a harsh cramp in his bowls and then he fell forward and hit his head on the desk.  He passed out.

~**~

          When Draco finally came to, he was lying in the infirmary and staring up at the faces of Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini.  Pansy had tears in her eyes, and Blaise looked relieved to see him awake.

          "Oh, Draco!  I was so worried!" Pansy wept.

          "We feared the worst when we found you passed out on your desk and shaking.  What happened?" Blaise said.

          Draco tried to sit up, but he still felt woozy.  He panted as he held onto his stomach, looking back and forth at Pansy and Blaise.

          "Er… it's nothing." He said weakly, "I'll be fine."

          "I hope no one gave you a Weasley Wizard Wheeze.  Those can knock you out if you don't have the remedy."

          "No one gave me a Weasley!" Draco huffed. "I just… got sick, that's all."

          "Just got sick?" Blaise blinked in confusion, "But we just had our check-ups and Pomfrey cleared everyone.  How could you suddenly get ill without her knowing?"

          Draco went pink in the cheeks.  "Er… that's Muggle technology for ya." He grumbled. "But, really… don't worry about me.  I'll be just fine…" he went to stand, feeling slightly sick, when the nurse came bustling in.  When she saw Draco trying to get out of bed, she threw a major fit and ordered him to stay put.  Draco pouted as he lay back down.  She then made Pansy and Blaise leave so that Draco could rest.

          "I gave you a wizard check-up while you were out of it." She said, straightening his blankets.

          "Oh?  What's the verdict?" he asked, silently praying that the potion worked.

          Pomfrey looked like she was having a hard time believing it herself when she announced, "You're pregnant."

          She hadn't expected to see that big grin form on Draco's face.  "It worked." He whispered to himself.  "I can't believe it…"

~TBC~

I tried to make this a one-parter, but I have too much going on here, so… I shall split the story in half.