Originally, a fic called Three of Swords was the sequel, but I decided I didn't like it and deleted it. Instead, you get this ^^. Auron POV, during Mt. Gagazet, and a little bit before. And the TidusYuna kiss scene didn't happen ^^;;.

Is it just me, or does Son of Jecht sound like..an insult?*pays dearly with severe beatings*

Shounen ai - AuronxTidus, SeymourxTidus

As White As Snow

by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)

I was never someone to express my feelings openly. Probably never will be. However, since the incident in Bevelle I've been wanting to talk to him. Did I have questions? Maybe. I could figure out what happened the minute he returned from Seymour. He looked like a wreck, having taken short, shaky breaths. I thought he would choke. His clothes weren't even buttoned right, but that may be a minor detail from all my years of living with him.

There was something I wanted to say when Tidus gave me that strained smile. I could tell that the oceanic sparkle that used to fixate me was now burnt out. He couldn't smile anymore. Not convincingly. At least, to me. The others still don't know, and it's better they didn't. He would surely send me into the next life if I did, broken or not.

I chuckled slightly at that.

It's not like I would anyway. There's no reason to. And it spares Tidus the fear of being rejected. I could already see it when he looked at me in Bevelle. He knew I knew, and he cried after reading it in my eyes. His smile faltered and twisted back like when his mother had died. The day he had finally learned the basics of blitzball, after years of falling and tripping as I had heard from Jecht(though, I had also seen it for myself). He came running into her room, wanting to show her he could be just as good as her perfect husband. And he saw her sprawled across the floor, loosely grasping a photo of her and Jecht in their younger days. There was nothing I could do as he cried there, staring vacantly at the Zanarkand sea. I wanted to comfort him, somehow. I felt obligated to. But my presence would not make him feel any better.

After all, I'm an unsent too.

I wonder if my skin is cold like snow. Someone would have noticed, wouldn't they? Heat emits when you're near a person. Does heat emit from me? Or am I eternally frozen? Somehow it's easy thinking that way. Perhaps I've along since accepted the disadvantages of being dead. Well, no use in thinking such things. It's umimportant, especially now. Even though my problems are a thing of the past.

I decided to go for a walk around the Calm Lands.

Soon, we would be climbing Mt. Gagazet. That treacherous mountain that I crawled my way through from Zanarkand, or what's left of it. I could recall feeling pain from my wounds, and stings from the harsh weather. My fingers had gone numb, even through my armored glove. Then, when I was about to collapse, Kimahri found me at the Gateway that led to the Calm Lands. I told him all he needed to know, passed on my promise to Braska to him. Take care of her, I had said after the brief explanation of my purpose, Take care of Yuna. Kimahri nodded, and I knew Yuna would be in good hands. Ronso never went back on their word. Even one without a horn. Yes Braska, I had thought, I accomplished what I needed to accomplish. Yuna will be safe from Sin in Besaid. I think I had smiled, just a little, before I slipped from Kimahri's grip and died.

I was just about to be carried off to the Farplane, finally relaxing. Floating off to paradise. I would finally be at ease. I would be able to meet my dear lord summoner there and the wife he had proudly talked about. But then, I remembered I had also promised Jecht I would go to Zanarkand and watch over his son. I forced myself back, recollecting my spirit into a dead man's body. I searched all over Spira for a way to get there, and encountered Sin. Suddenly, I found myself inside a dream land. But it was so much better than Spira. There was no Yevon religion, no disgusting pilgrimages. Just life, and happiness. Though, I knew at one point everything may be in vain. Sin's appearance only confirmed it, and it was time to show Tidus reality. It was what Jecht wanted. It was in his eyes.

So many years ago. They aren't happy memories, but they aren't bad ones either.

And now, should I consider Bevelle a bad memory? I had agreed with Tidus meeting with Seymour, I gave the okay. And indeed, the blitz player did return, but then again he also didn't. He was gone, and far away now. Out of reach. And I gave the inital shove.

Heh, tell me Jecht. Do you find me despicable?

And not just for that, but for when I was living with your son. Along the way, I felt attracted to his charisma, his natural beauty. And I couldn't pull myself away. Whenever he'd smile at me, I thought I saw the sun reflecting light upon the ocean in those eyes. Now the sun is gone and veiled by the grayest storm. I remember our first meeting. It was none too happy. He sneered and glared at me like I was out to steal a cookie from him, or something. But as I later found, he really was a kind, determined person- but terribly misunderstood by everyone. In some ways, we are rather alike(though, he wouldn't admit to that.). I could see some of my former self in him. That naivety I used to possess. Did I wipe it all away though?

Yes, I am despicable.

I spotted Tidus over at Rin's Travel Agency, and he waved at me. Smiled at me. But it was all so empty, and frighteningly fake. I often liked silently comparing him to the sun. When he came to Spira, when I reunited with him in Luca, I could tell he was still very clueless about how utterly filthy the world was. There was still that innocence left in him, even after Operation Mi'ihen saddened him, even after leaving Home and discovering what a Summoner was truly meant to be. He had hope during all those times. That determination I used to have to save his dear summoner from becoming a sacrificial lamb. He was still like the sun, the only source of pure light in the world. The only one free of the painful truths of Spira. I envied him, just a little. Though, all it took was Seymour's lust to eclipse that light and shut it away forever. It'll never be the same anymore. I don't like knowing I was the one who started it from the very beginning. But people learn from their mistakes, and choose wisely later on.

But why did I have to make a mistake involving him?


"Hey, Tidus, what's wrong?" Wakka asked.

"Uhm, nothing Wakka. Really." The blond waved his hand dismissively, giving that fake smile again for show.

"You sure, brudda? Don't want you freaking out before you can see Zanarkand, ya?" He chuckled, and shook his head. And said that he was fine, he'll be okay. But it wasn't true at all. Tidus sighed and fell to the back of the party, which was unusual as he was normally running around in the front to see all of Spira's beauty.

Auron approached the boy as he sighed against a rock wall. The rest of the group currently were trying to convince Maester Kelk to let them into Mt. Gagazet. Tidus shook his head, and took a deep breath, trying to shake out the cold burning of snow off his skin. One amber eye looked at him.

"We're far from Bevelle now. It'll be okay." The boy slid down to sit on a nearby boulder. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head once more. "I know, Auron. I know. But, still..."

"We will be out of Gagazet before you know it."

"Easy for you to say." Tidus paused to think. "You aren't going to tell the others, right?"

"I haven't yet. Why start now?" The blond laughed, though it scared both males to find that it was shaking in an unsteady manner. Almost maniacal.

"You're right, Auron. But that's just like you." His laughter died down to a soft chuckle. "Heh, it never snowed in Zanarkand. This is really strange for me." Auron observed the younger man out of the corner of his eye.

"You don't have to pretend to be happy around me, Tidus." The said boy shook his head again, but kept that smile upon his face, though it had an edge of knowing to it.

"Just let me. It makes me feel better."

"To think you're fooling someone?"

"No, to think I'm fooling myself."

Utter silence.

"I always knew you were a strange child, but I never knew you were this strange." And Tidus truly laughed at that, yet it still caused a gaping hole in Auron's dead heart. Just seeing that, he knew it was would stop within a second's time. It used to last much longer than that. So much longer.


It made me feel better to know Auron cared. It makes me feel wanted. I know he's just trying in that Auron-sort-of-way to make me feel better about Bevelle. I'm trying too. Really. Though, his support just helps me keep on healing.

Just one step at a time.

Over these hills would be Zanarkand, the place I left. The place I wanted to see for myself. I needed to see if this was real. If my home really was in ruins, and I had just existed in a place 1000 years prior. I still had some difficulty accepting it fully. I felt like I was living a dream as I climbed up the snowy path. The bitter cold numbing my toes was gone now, and the wind whipping at my exposed chest and arms didn't hurt as much. Still, they kept reminding me of that disgusting Bevelle. I never want to go back there, like I never want to come back to Gagazet either- holy place or not.

I'm still getting over the shock of it. His eyes were still planted in my mind. Those harsh, frozen eyes staring straight through me. The pain kept lingering around me, and I found myself fiddling with what held outfit together protectively. It was hard to describe how I felt. One word was just not enough.

I don't think the others got it yet. Yuna, though, sometimes asked about my well-being. I don't know if she is convinced, because every encounter resulted in me hurriedly walking away with short and quick answers.

Oh, well, then she probably isn't. A fatal mistake on my part. I wince to myself, and Wakka is looking at me strangely. I wave it off to him with a smile. He shrugs and continues his pace along with Lulu. I sighed in relief as he took it so easily and continued on after him. He probably just thinks the cold is getting to me. It kind of is, now that I think about it.

Harsh on a guy whose only read about snowy climate.

Snow. I think I compared Seymour's eyes to snow. They were cold and barren, lacking of warmth. I wonder, though, did something happen to him? Or was it Spira?

What am I thinking? Seymour is bad! Bad and evil! He isn't some misunderstood freak! He just evil and stupid and a child-molester and I want him to go to hell! He should go to hell because he's cruel like the devil! Maybe he really is the devil. He must be, to pull something off like that! Because he lacks the compassion most people have. He isn't misunderstood, he's just..Seymour!

But then, I was misunderstood too.

No way! No way! I am not saying I'm going to end up like him! I'd rather die! I feel sick thinking that way. I think I need to sit down and rest. I realize then, I'm miles behind the group. Frantically, I practically crawled my way up the paths on all fours to catch up and made it to where Auron's red coat was in plain sight. I sighed, quite loudly I may add, out of relief.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" I looked up at Rikku's questioning green eyes, and gave her a reassuring gesture. "Yeah, just got caught up in my thoughts."

"You thinking about how to help Yunie? If not, I'll pound ya, you know." I laughed as she mock-punched my shoulder. I'm ashamed to think I'd forgotten about that. There are both terrible conflicts I needed to deal with. But Yuna's was much more important than my own. I should be thinking of how to save her instead of my spirit. I want to see she grow up to be a succesful woman one day. Her life shouldn't end here. Not now. There's still time.

"Not yet. But, there's still distance between here and Zanarkand right? So we got to cram real hard now!" She nodded enthusatically, saluting me with a "Yes, sir!" and walked off, prodding her head for a good thought to run on. I nearly laughed out loud at the sight and followed on after her.

I must think about Zanarkand, not about Bevelle, or the past. Must think. Must think.

I still didn't know what to do. What could possibly stop the Final Aeon from destroying the summoner? Perhaps if one of use runs in and covers her? No, then we might die and it'd be just as saddening. I really don't know. I tried thinking of everything. Even running in and chopping the fayth statue to pieces, which obviously would get me life in solitude or death. Maybe, she could not accept the Final Aeon? No, she would want to, knowing her. Maybe we could say the statue is really made of cheap plastic and there is no Final Aeon? No, Yuna would whack me with that staff of hers for something that stupid.

I wonder if I could possibly buy a special whistle and get a giant chocobo to do my bidding and-

I just want to crush my head against a wall now. Thinking hurts.

Really, time is passing too fast. I can't get a single good idea. No, no I must get through this. Yuna's going to live, and be the way she wants to be. She'll live, I know it. She'll see Spira blossom into something much greater, and I'll be there at her side. I can't believe it though. I thought pilgrimages took longer, or something. Isn't there something to postpone this?

Why can't I think of anything? It isn't fair. I can't save Yuna? No, I can. I will. She deserves it. When this is all over, maybe we can have a party or something. Of course, Auron'll just be brooding in some corner while Rikku tries to get him to eat. I chuckled at the thought.

Suddenly, Rikku stopped and turned to look at me.

"Zanarkand is on the other side, you know?"

"I know." My shoulders slumped from all the tension built up from thinking too much.

"Yunie is gonna get the Final Aeon, you know?" I winced at that.

"I know."

"I still haven't thought of anything."

"Me neither." All my ideas are crazy and suicidal, but she won't know that.

"What are we gonna do?" I ducked my head in thought at that question, and pumped down my fist for encouragement. God knows I need it too.

"We'll do something! We just don't know enough yet. Until we do, we really can't help Yuna. Let's go to Zanarkand. We'll find something there. It'll all come together. I know it!" I don't know where it came from, but I knew it must've been from my heart. Even if it is cracked and broken, still... Yes, I truly believed the answers were somewhere ahead of us. They must be, no- They have to be. I can't let Yuna die. I have to focus on her problems, not mine. It's the least I can do for accepting me so openly while everyone thought my memories were created of toxin.

"Hey... Just now, you sounded like a leader, you know?" I smirked at that, pieces of my old happiness forming back together.

"Star of the Zanarkand Abes! Didn't anyone tell you?" She giggled and gave a playful bow. But then she gasped, and I dreaded the worse.

"Ah, the son of Jecht."


Frantically, I looked back to the Al Bhed's frightened face. "Rikku, run ahead and tell Auron!"

She stared at me, disbelief in her eyes as she grabbed my sleeve. "You are not fighting him alone!" I don't want to, but this is imporant. Maybe even too important, at least for me. Desperate, I gave her a shove to the back.

"Just go! Go!" Please, Rikku! Tell Auron, tell him 'he's' here and I need to see something of him to settle most of my nerves. Because only he knows, and that's enough already. I never wanted him to get involved though. Perhaps I'm being selfish for wanting to keep these things to myself. I smiled bitterly as I watched Rikku run off as fast as I've seen her go.

"It's been a while, love." I gritted my teeth, and whipped around to face that demon.

"Don't call me that." He merely smiled at my anger and came closer, touching my shoulder. Disdainly, I tried to shove it off, but he held my hand back with his other.

"Why not? After all, we did share such a beautiful moment in Bevelle. Surely, you haven't forgotten."

"I wanted to..." I whispered. He must've heard it, because he just smiled deeper until it looked more like a smirk.

"Then, shall I remind you?" He leaned in closer to kiss my lips. Angrily, I released my wrist and punched him in the face, sending him back.

"Bastard! You ruined my life! I don't ever want to see you around again!"

"Tsk, tsk. Someone's been misbehaving. Well then, I suppose I'll have to punish you, won't I?"

"Go to hell." He chuckled, and grabbed my throat, forcing the air from my lungs. I choked, clawing at his face to make him let go. Soon I was being flattened into the snow, cold crawling up my head as did my blood. I kicked out, hoping to hit him, as I couldn't see past my chin. That bastard! What makes him think he can do this?! It can't end like this. I still need to tell something to Auron. Wildly, I lashed out as though I were in berserk. It sure felt like it. Wild, impulsive, hostile.

No, I can't disappear yet! I still have to save Yuna! I still have to live my life with Auron!

Everything was fading, even as dead lips pressed against mine. Tears were welling up in my eyes as my throat was rapidly going dry. Heat rushing to my head, causing a terrible ache. He was really trying to kill me. Did he want to make me an unsent? It isn't possible unless I want to be, right? Or maybe he wants more power? Either way, I needed to survive. Frantically, I clutched a handful of snow and threw it at Seymour's face, some hitting me as well. He cried out, cursing me as I clawed my away out from underneath him, catching my breath again.


I nearly laughed like a crazy man seeing Rikku arrive with the rest of the party. I would've too, if I wasn't so out of oxygen. Yuna came to my side, quickly casting her healing magic over my pain. I smiled and gave her my thanks.

"Lady Yuna, it is a pleasure." I heard Seymour spit out. I snarled and stood up, sword in hand as I stepped in front of the mentioned summoner. I could see Auron looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I paid no heed to him.

"Oh, so you still oppose me?" He chuckled, and it felt like ice was forming over my spine. "How very sweet. No wonder I grew fond of you."

Wakka glanced at me. "Hey Tidus, what's he sayin', man?"

"I would like an explanation as well." Lulu added. Kimahri said nothing, but I knew he desired the information as well.

"Tidus, what's going on?" Rikku. Oh Rikku, I can't tell you.

"Tidus?" Please, don't Yuna.

Auron said nothing. He didn't need to as he already knew. Seymour laughed this time, so amused it made me want to impale that heart of his. If he had one.

"You never told them, Tidus? How interesting. Shall I say it then?"

No, don't. I think I started trembling, because Yuna gently touched my shoulder in worry.

"That night, in Bevelle, Tidus and I shared a very special moment. Even though I am dead, he made me feel alive again." I could feel a thousand stares on me. No, don't look! Please, don't look at me like that! I can't stand it! Furious, I charged at Seymour and swiped viciously at him. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.

"Goddamn you! It wasn't supposed to be like this!" Why am I shouting? I have to stop shouting or else Auron'll come into my room and tell me I'm waking the dead again with my blitzball cheers. "We had a deal! Damn you! Damn you to hell! You disgust-" He kissed me then, in front of everybody. I think that was when I lost it.

And Auron too, apparently, as his sword came flying down on Seymour's side. I was released, but I quickly crumpled like a rag doll. I didn't know what to do anymore. Everyone knew. Everyone knew and I didn't want to look at them. Desperately, I shut my eyes, hoping this was just a terrible dream.

I opened them the minute I heard my guardian cry out.

His body whole body was green. A disgusting, sickly green. Seymour turned back to me, smiling that smile I always hated to see. He brought his stave up, and cast Cure. I saw Auron wince in deep pain and rushed to help, but got stopped by Lulu.

"Seymour has cast Zombie on Sir Auron. If you try to cure him, he'll end up taking damage instead. And..we don't have anything to aid him, I'm afraid." I heard Rikku gasp at the black mage's explanation, and Yuna put a hand to her mouth in silent shock. I stared at Lulu's expression, but she didn't look at me. Just as I feared would happen. But still, shoving her arm aside and I became the one to approach Seymour instead of vice versa. There was something I had to do.

"What is it you want, Seymour?" I had to be strong, for everyone. I don't want them to suffer from Seymour any longer. Enough is enough. He's ruined our lives for far too long, in my opinion.

"Come back with me, son of Jecht. Come live with me." Words I didn't want to do hear.

"Don't do it, Tidus." I heard Auron's clear statement, but I had to smile at it anyway. I just had to smile, like Yuna taught me.

"If you refuse, I shall target the last Ronso alive. Hm, the Ronso were...truly a galliant race. They threw themselves at me to bar my path. One...after another..."

"You didn't..." I could only stare. Faintly, I heard Lulu signal Yuna. Kimahri growl in rage. Wakka and Rikku stare in the same disbelief as I. And Auron? Auron was just looking at me. Did he want me to stay?

"A sending so soon, Lady Yuna?" He lifted a fading fist and charged up his magic once more, targeting the angered Kimahri. I saw Yuna stop out of fear from the corner of my eye. I knew what I had to do now. This is getting terribly out of hand here. Taking a deep breath, I accepted my decision with all I could.

"Seymour, stop this right now. Make Auron return to normal, and..."I faltered. Don't falter! Not now! "And..I'm all yours." I couldn't wipe that smile off my face.


"Truly?" He questioned.

"Hey, don't make me repeat myself," I chuckled shakily. "It's bad for my health."

"Tidus, you can't do this!"

"Are you crazy?!"


"I see." Seymour smiled, "Well then, come here." Gently, he held out his hand.

"Not until you change Auron back." He laughed, and indeed, Auron did regain his natural coloring. I'm really relieved. I thought he would leave me for good. Though, he might now, either way.



"Tidus!" Auron growled and charged at Seymour once again, Kimahri ready to follow up. Seymour charged up his magic again, and I pushed him out of the way as firaga sped right by. He grabbed me by the arms the minute he recovered.

"Don't do this. Don't be foolish."

"Auron, don't make this harder on me." Please.

"There's another way. We fight." Auron stared hard at me, and I couldn't pull away.

"But, if he casts Zombie again, what'll you do? I don't want to see everyone die."

"It's just like Bevelle, Tidus."

"..I know. But, I must. If it means that Yuna'll be safe, and you and everyone else- I'm willing to do it!" I shoved myself out of his grip, though the bracelet around my left wrist had to be sacrificed for that.

"You're just like Jecht, Tidus. Always wanting to help." He cursed under his breath. I smiled, as happily as I could muster.

"Yeah, well it's the blitzball way. Got to go for the goal, otherwise you're left with nothing at all. Determination and...courage." I choked out a laugh for him and quickly made my way back to where Seymour waited. Everyone suddenly stepped forward at that, wanting to stop me before I did that foolish thing again. But if it means they are safe from death, then it's fine with me. It's the..blitzball way. Got to go for the top prize- their safety. Even if it costs me myself.

Heh, Auron was right. I am really strange.

They're shouting for me, but I can no longer see them. Though, it's better this way. Now, this filthy boy is no longer tainting the purity of hope.


"No..he's gone."


Auron gripped the silver bracelet within his hand, nearly cracking the chain bonds. He had failed. He failed Jecht. Gritting his teeth, he swiped at the sky wildly, hoping he'd hit something, anything. He failed, he failed. If he had held on a little tigther. If he wasn't so angry. But seeing Seymour try to take advantage of Tidus once again, and admit his deepest secret to everyone when the blond wished it not. It was unbearable. But Tidus, stupid kid! He was so damn foolish, so damn stubborn! Why did he ever look after that damn kid?!

"Goddamnit!" The others silently watched as the cryptic guardian they knew as Auron was throwing a raging fit, something they had never seen before. Stabbing the blade into the snow, the man slumped to his knees.


The sun never shines on Mt. Gagazet.


Hm, still odd. I think Tidus gave in too easily. I'm sorry o_o. As for the uncurable Zombie thing, it's just the extremely off-chance you have no remedies and didn't pick up any Holy Waters(didn't happen to me, but I don't tend to drop by shops too often. So if it wasn't for my guide, I wouldn't know and would be all, ":o I'm dead! Again!"). And as for Seymour, he really isn't as bad as Tidus depicts him XP. I promise I'll bring him justice..I hope. Game quotes came from GameFAQs and the actions for said game quotes came from what I recall of the scene(i.e. Rikku's cute bowing.).

And here's a terribly OOC omake, if you hate me dearly for making Auron go nuts XD.

~ Seymour's LuvLuv Pad (O_o?) ~

Seymour: Ti~dus! I have a suprise for yooou~!*heart*

Tidus: Mrr, what? You've already tortured me enough with your insanity, so what could it be now?

Seymour: Aw, you're so cute ^.^!(Tidus: Shut up -_-.) Well, if you really want to know, it's this!*holds up a piece of paper*

Tidus: What the hell?

Seymour: Just sign here, and here, and here, and-

Tidus:*raises an eyebrow* WHAT is it?

Seymour: ^__^ A marriage liscense*heart*

Tidus:*falls off chair* o_o Y..you..

Seymour: If you tear it up in your rage, don't worry. I have many copies ^_^. And once you sign it and we elope, we can go on a grand honeymoon over at the ruins of Baaj Temple.

Tidus: Oh, barf.

Seymour: I know it's a wreck now, but it's perfect for my morbid insanity and getting my evil plots done on time. Plus, you can meet my mom, though she'll probably say something like, "Now, Seymour, I told you many times before: Power brings status and fame and money and women and some real spiffy-looking kimonos, but not love." and I would say, "That's why I threatened his summoner group, Ma ^_^." Though, first she'll be skeptic, but I know she'll accept you sometime in the next century.

Tidus: ¬_¬ Great...

~ The End? ~