Title: Fade Out
Summary: Loss makes you turn to the person you need the most.
Authors Notes: Big hugs to Jeanine for betaing this for me!!! This is a series of 5 drabbles, each one exactly 100 words.
as they fight for life
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
All these things into position
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again
~ Radiohead ~ Street Spirit (Fade Out)
barely realized how fragile life was until this moment, and that's saying a lot
considering my occupation. But as I watch Gram trying to draw in
shuddering breaths I know that the sound I'm hearing emanating from deep in her
throat is a death rattle.
I lean over her bed, brushing my lips over her forehead as I hear her take her final breath, and ignore the tears that course down my face.
I pull out my phone and dial the number I know by heart, calling the only person who could possibly console me.
I call my Sara.
Where I End And You Begin
there's a gap between
there's a gap where we meet
where i end and you begin
and i'm sorry for us
~ Radiohead ~ Where I End And You Begin
She can hear the pain in his voice as she answers the phone. When he speaks she can picture the torment on his face, more defined than the shock, more dominant than the sorrow.
There's only one thing that could elicit this much emotion in him.
She listens as he chokes back the emotions and appeals to her. "It's Gram."
Words fail her as the anguish in his voice rolls over her, but her heart stops beating for a moment as she realizes that she is all that he has left.
And he needs her.
"I'll be right there, Warrick."
How Do You
He bitter and twisted, he knows what he wants.
He wants to be loved and he wants to belong.
He wants us to listen, he wants us to weep.
~ Radiohead ~ How Do You
She silently enters through a front door left open since the funeral director left with Gram's body. I'm still on the sofa, staring blankly at the wall and trying to shut the pain away.
I feel her settle on the sofa next to me, her arms slide around my body and she draws me into her embrace.
"I'm so sorry, baby."
It's enough to let me lower my defences and pour out my grief. I cry for Gram, the only family I've really ever had.
I cry in the arms of the woman that I love more than life itself.
Wake... from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Now we are one
In everlasting peace
~Radiohead ~ Exit Music
I hold his hand as the coffin is lowered into its resting place. I look at his face; see the desolation that he tries to hide. Our eyes meet, he offers a small smile.
He hasn't said anything, but I know he's scared. Scared to lose me, scared to let me go.
I am all the family that he has left.
He does not see his family of friends gathered around him, he only sees me. But we are all his family: Nick, Catherine, Greg and Grissom.
And I will always be by his side in good times and bad.
If I get old, I will not give in
But if I do, remind me of this.
Remind me that, once I was free,
Once I was cool, once I was me.
~ Radiohead ~ A Reminder
I don't think she knows how much her mere presence has helped me over the past few days. I don't think she knows how much I need and value her.
Tonight I'm going to change that.
A candlelit dinner, soft romantic music, I take her hand, smile at her and she smiles in return. I slide out of my seat, settle on one knee.
She blushes, grins, but her eyes hold mine.
I'm not a man of words. "Sara I love you so much. Will you marry me?"
Her smile grows--that beautiful gap-toothed grin I've grown to love.