The boy next door/I don't belong/Like I did before/Nothing ever seems/Like it used to be/You can have your dreams/But you can't have me/Oh you can't come back here anymore/Cause I am not/The boy next door/You've been savin' those souvenirs/Faded photographs from my foolish years/I made plans but they're wearin' thin.........

We deserve to be shot. And, in fact, it would have taken longer, but I got sick of it and Kat's leaving on Saturday for five weeks anyway. On the other hand, not you have to prequel and sequel to look forward to......... if there's anyone left.

And also, a slight apology for parts of it. I had to rewrite the beginning as I've......... misplaced it, and bits of the middle are a bit dodgy. I wrote it at some god-awful hour on the 18 hour (?) bus ride back home after a trip to New York. Some of the words had to be changed.

Jack quote: "Must have been terrible for you to be stranded here, Jack, must have been terrible for you.........WELL IT BLOODY IS NOW!"

Oh, and we'd just like to thank you all for being such wonderful readers and reviewers......... if anyone is still reading. Thanks guys! We love you!

And now, with no further ado, the final chapter:

A few hours later, Jade came catapulting down the stairs to share the news. The instant they saw her, both Jack and Will Turner jumped to their feet. "Congratulations," she announced, "You have a brand new........." she trailed off as they both flew past her. "Daughter."

Jack watched them go. "I'd best be going after them. After all, we wouldn't want Will to do something stupid. He's quite good at that." He followed at a slower, more drunken pace. Jade took his seat, watching Norrington suspiciously as he grew more and more uncomfortable.

"Is there something the trouble?" he asked finally.

"No........." Jade answered slowly. "I was just trying to figure out how you managed to loosen your pants without, well, loosening them."

"Excuse me?" Norrington asked.

"Well, you know......... you're NICE."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, you have to admit, you weren't before. At least, not to 'the likes of us'. How did you go from, 'Hang them!' to, 'Welcome to Port Royal, please make yourself at home while I take your coats?'"

And to that, Norrington had no answer, as he couldn't really explain it himself. Instead, he got up and left the room, though not in an annoyed manner. Jade sat there alone, humming to herself and strumming her fingers against the arm of the chair until her husband reappeared, walking slowly down the stairs.

"I have a sister."

"You do."

"I have a sister."

"Yes. I was there when she was born."

"I have a sister."

"She has a name."

"I have a sister."

"You're going to strike those words from your vocabulary."

"I have a sister."

"Jack, you're starting to scare me."

"I have a sister."

"Alright, I'm calling in my father." As cute as her husband's actions were, he was beginning to get a little annoying. "Da-ddy!" Jade called out in a singsong voice, walking toward the stairs. "I need your help!"

"With what, cretin?"

"Jack," Jade replied.

"Can't handle 'im your onesies, eh?" her father questioned with a roguish wink as he came down the stairs.

Jade rolled her eyes in exasperation. "He's acting oddly. He just keeps repeating, 'I have a sister.'"

As if to prove her point, Jack said, "I have a sister," before walking off down the hall.

"Ah, that. Yes well, it runs in the family. Somewhat. His father is currently holding said babe and whispering, 'My daughter'. It's a little pathetic really."

"You were just as bad," Anamaria told him as she followed his steps downstairs.

"I was not!" Jack Sparrow protested indignantly.

Anamaria continued as though he hadn't said anything. "If I recall correctly........."


".........Which I know I do........."

"-No you don't."

".........You took one look at Jade, walked out of the room, went to the tavern, and drank seven tankards of rum while mumbling, 'A babe, a bloody babe. MY bloody babe.' To anyone who would listen. He then babbled the entire story to Gibbs and me. Drunkenly. We were given the impression that you were to be baptized in rum as soon as he could find a bartending priest with green hair and red eyes. Then he passed out. When he woke up I made him tell me everything, and you were baptized."

"With rum?" Jade questioned.

"No, with holy water."

"Oh," Jade responded. "Well, that's no fun."

Her husband appeared in the silence that followed. "I have a sister.

Without a word, all three pirates turned for the pantry. Unbeknownst to Elizabeth, Will had been keeping a keg of rum hidden for their visits. There had never been such a dire need for it in the mansion.

The following morning saw the household sleeping peacefully, four from fatigue and three from gargantuan rum hangovers.

The peaceful silence of Jack's snoring was shattered by the shrill scream of the worst foe known to hung-over pirates- a baby. As the sound cut through the air, Jack woke up, yelling.

"Shut yer mouth!" Jade mumbled, groaning.

Squinting at her, Jack tried to decipher something in his muddled mind. "What do you have to be whining about?"

Well, I can't possibly imagine Daddy. It couldn't possibly be because of the massive hangover I have."

"What?" Jack roared, er, as much as one can roar when one had a hangover such as this. "How many times must you be told? You're too young to be drinking!"

Jade rolled her eyes.

Charlotte's cries grew louder.

"Somebody shut that damn child up!" Jade yelled, immediately collapsing in regret.

While Will and Elizabeth were still experiencing the euphoria of a daughter, by the end of the week the novelty had worn off for everyone else. It had gotten to the point where Jade was spending time with the commodore. By choice. Everyone knew it was bad then because while Cap'n Sparrow and Commodore Norrington had found some sort of respect for each other, Jade still held a great dislike for him. Even though she had invited him to her wedding. She was weird like that.

And so it was that the extended crew of the Black Pearl decided it was time for them to leave. Will, Lizzie, and Norrington stood on the deck in the grey morning to say good bye. As the Pearl left, Jade entered her room and sat down on her husband's lap. Grinning, Jack wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled against his chest.

"Jack?" Jade asked after a moment.

"Yes love?"

"If that's what babies are like, let's never have one.'

"Whatever you wish, darling," he laughed.

He had no answer. Jade, exhausted by the late nights and early mornings, had fallen asleep. Jack sighed and carried her to the bed.

They never meant to stay away so long. But Captain Jack Sparrow had always had commitment problems, and that included travel plans. So there they were, almost two years later, off the coast of India.

Jack Turner sat at a table with the captain, sharing a drink of rum

"You don't think it's anything serious, do you?" His chocolate brown eyes, exactly like Will's, were pooled with concern.

"Oh no, of course not," Jack assured him. He wasn't convinced though. It had been two weeks since Jade had suddenly retched over the side of the Pearl, and his daughter still wasn't feeling better. "I'm sure it's nothing. She'll be up again in no time," he added, more to himself.

The object of their discussions, meanwhile, was lying on her bed, wallowing in absolute misery. She closed her eyes as Anamaria soothingly applied a cool rag to her forehead.

"Anamaria, what in the name of the mother ocean is wrong with me?" Jade groaned, keeping her eyes closed.

"I think you know," was the cryptic response. Jade's eyes flew open, darting to the other woman who was smiling broadly.

"You mean........." Jade trailed off. She didn't want to actually give life to her thoughts for fear they were wrong. As it turned out, she didn't need to. The thrilled look on Anamaria's face told her all she needed to know. "Are you certain?"

"Absolutely," Anamaria affirmed. Jade laughed for the first time in two weeks.

"Excuse me," she said, rising carefully to her feet. "I have some news to share with my husband."

Jack Sparrow had gone to the hold in search of more rum, leaving his namesake alone at the table. He looked up as he heard the captain's returning footsteps, and was surprised to find Jade in the doorway instead.

"Jade, love, are you alright?"

She nodded, choosing not to sit down. Now that it came to it, she wasn't quite sure how to say it. She played with her rings and chewed on her lip nervously, trying to think of the proper words. "Darling, I need to tell you something." Jack waited patiently, letting his love take her time, even though inside he was screaming with curiosity. Jade drew a deep breath. "Jack, I'm pregnant."

Her response was two separate thuds. The first came from her husband, who had fallen from his chair upon fainting. But what Jade had been too preoccupied to notice was her father returning, just in time to hear her last words.

"I'll take that as a 'congratulations'," she muttered, stepping over her father's body on her way out the door.

The end. Go read the prequel.