Temporary Solutions

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: Don't own this stuff but you can bet if I did I'd give the Brotherhood more screen time. I was thoroughly disappointed that they got left behind in 'Dark Horizon'. I mean they have like one of the most powerful mutants in the show (Wanda) on their roster and they still get no respect. Anyways, this is just my little idea of what they were doing while the X-Men and the Acolytes were busy trying to save the world.

Bare. Wanda sighed in disgust as she slammed the cabinet shut and opened the next one. Bare again. She let out a frustrated growl and repeated the process twice with the same results.

"Is there any semblance of sustenance in this God forsaken rathole?" she asked as she turned towards the living room. Toad quizzically gazed at her. She could almost hear the gears grinding as he tried to decipher her question and formulate a reply.

"We're pretty much outta food," he said finally. Wanda threw up her hands. Well, of course, she could see that. She wasn't an idiot. She was about to unleash a blistering retort but she stopped herself. Toad was not the problem, not at the moment. The problem was, aside from that stupid TV which she refused to watch, there was no distraction to keep her from worrying about Pietro. He and the rest of the Acolytes had gone with Magneto, Xavier, and the X-Men to God knows where in order to stop Apocalypse. As usual, the Brotherhood had stayed at the house. Well, technically, she and Toad had stayed at the house. Lance had gone to a party since it was graduation and Freddy, lured by the promise of free food, had accompanied him. Wanda had opted to stay home and, as usual, she had her lovely amphibian shadow to keep her company.

"Not even any damn ice cream," she mumbled as she glanced at the fridge, "Probably go straight to my hips anyways." She looked around and noticed something odd. One of the cabinets was padlocked.

"Hey, Toad?" she asked, "How come this one's locked?" Toad got up and came into the kitchen.

"Oh, Mystique did that last time she was here," he explained, "She said she'd flay us alive if we ever opened it and kept the only key. We were gonna find out what was in it but with Magneto Jr. marchin' us around lately we don't have time." Wanda nodded. She still couldn't stop worrying about Pietro. Sure she seemed to be angry with him for no reason but he was still her brother and she was still concerned for his safety.

"Well," she said to herself as Toad went back to the TV, "let's just see what's in here." She ran her fingers over the lock and watched it melt in her hand. She opened the cabinet and arched an eyebrow. Apparently, Mystique had a fondness for liquor. Wanda instantly understood why she had locked it, what with four teenage boys living in the house.

"Say, Toad," she called back into the living room, "You ever drink before?" Toad got up and came back into the kitchen. He gave the cabinet's contents a skeptical look.

"Once or twice, yeah," he replied hesitantly, "It's not really my thing. Why?"

"Just wondered if you wanted to have a drink," replied Wanda as she pulled a bottle from the cabinet and then went to get a glass. She didn't remember ever drinking before and she had a very good memory when it came to things like that. Still, she didn't have anything else to do besides go crazy worrying about Pietro so why not?

"Uhm, sweetheart," said Toad, "I don't think that's such a good idea, you drinkin' and all." Wanda ignored his pet name and popped the top off the bottle with her powers.

"Why's that?" she asked.

"Because, well, for one thing it's bad for ya," said Toad, "and two, if ya get drunk enough ya might do some stuff you'd regret in the morning." Wanda rolled her eyes.

"Oh please," she replied, "I'm not going to turn into some blithering idiot or throw myself all over someone after a few beers. I have way too much self-control for that." Toad snorted. Wanda and self-control got along about as well as oil and water.

"So?" asked Wanda, "You going to join me? They say it's not good to drink alone." Toad sighed. He figured it was best to go along. After all, the more he drank the less for Wanda and it was probably the best way to keep an eye on her.

"Okay," he said, "but I'm stopping after one beer and you should too."

"Don't be a worry wart," cracked Wanda as she poured him a glass and handed it to him.

"Cheers," she said as they clinked their glasses together.


He should be happy. If he were any other normal teenager he would be happy about graduation. But no, he was Lance Alvers and all graduation did was depress him. He deserved that diploma as much as anyone after the hell he'd been through. It wasn't fair that a stupid little expulsion had to ruin his chances. He kept telling himself it didn't matter but he knew it was a lie. He had lost it, his one chance of showing everyone that he was more than a deadbeat delinquent. He had thrown away his last chance to make Kitty proud of him.

"Hell," he mumbled. He guessed it really didn't matter now anyway since she wasn't even speaking to him anymore. It didn't stop him from worrying about her. He hoped that wherever she was she was okay right now.

"Party's over," he said to himself as he looked around for Freddy. He had come to the party to try and take his mind off of Kitty placing herself in mortal danger. He had failed at that too. Best to just go back to the house and continue the road to nowhere.

"Hey, Lance." Lance turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Tabby?" he asked as the blond, ex-Brotherhood member gave him a smile.

"The one and only," she replied, "What'cha doin' here? Figured you'd be on red alert like everybody else." Lance shook his head.

"We're the second-stringers now," he replied, "This one's too hot for us. What about you?"

"Same deal," replied Tabby, "With the Prof and everybody else gone the mansion's too boring so I thought I'd have a little fun. You know me, Lancey, can't resist a party." Lance nodded. Tabby was ever one to have fun. He could tell she had already started drinking although with Tabby you could never tell what was drunk and what was just flakiness.

"So how's life with the nerd squad?" he asked. Tabby just smiled.

"Boring as ever," she replied, "You guys may not have been very exciting but you were better than the Xavier crew any day. You the only one here?"

"Nah," replied Lance, "Freddy's around somewhere, surprised you haven't already seen him." Tabby nodded, Freddy wasn't that hard to miss.

"His hair recovered from that surprise shave I gave him?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah," replied Lance as he shook his head and smiled. Tabby giggled.

"Well, no chaperones, no supervision, no curfew," said Tabby, "What's a girl like me gonna do with all her free time?"

"Something tells me you already have an idea and I'm not gonna like it," replied Lance warily. While Tabby hadn't been the worst housemate ever she had developed a successful track record in the bad idea department that didn't seem to show any signs of shortening.

"Well that all depends on whether or not you drove here," she replied in a flirty tone. Lance groaned.

"This isn't going to involve you stealin' my jeep again, is it?" he asked.

"Not if you agree to drive," said Tabby coyly, "Go get Freddy. We're gonna play a little game called 'Special Delivery'." Lance didn't like the sound of that.


"So then Dad comes in and boy is he pissed," said Wanda, "I don't think I've ever heard him yell that loud." She giggled as she tilted her bottle back and finished it. Both she and Toad were now sitting on the couch in the living room. Well, Toad was sitting and Wanda had just decided his lap would make a nice pillow.

"Do we have anymore?" she asked. Toad shook his head.

"I think you're through for the night," he said.

"Oh nonsense," replied Wanda as she unsuccessfully tried to get up, "I feel perfectly fine. I have too much . . ."

"Self-control," finished Toad, "You said that after the last one, cuddles." Wanda giggled again at his pet name. She stopped and stared at him with a dazed look on her face.

"I just noticed something," she said, "You have green eyes but they got this . . . yellow, filmy stuff over 'em."

"Yeah, so?" asked Toad. It was weird to watch Wanda actually behave like a normal person for once. Toad wasn't sure whether he should like it or not.

"They're kinda cute," she replied with a smile, "You're kinda cute actually." She hiccupped and then started laughing so hard she almost rolled off the couch.

"Alright," said Toad, "I think it's bedtime for you."

"No, no," replied Wanda, "I'm fine." Toad looked at her and shook his head.

"You're so drunk," he replied.

"I am not," she replied angrily, "I told you I'm fine. I'll prove it to you. If I can . . ." She let the word trail off as she looked around lazily.

"Set those bottles on the window," she said. Toad shook his head and grabbed the empty bottles. He got up and put the bottles in a row on the windowsill. Wanda sat up and had to brace herself to keep from falling over.

"If I," she stated, "can make all five of those bottles fall over then I'm okay." Toad shook his head but made a motion that Wanda should go ahead and try. There was no way she could do it, she was too drunk.

"Okay, watch," said Wanda as she pointed at the bottles. Toad yelped as the window shattered. That was certainly going to get them in trouble.

"Okay, two outta three," stated Wanda as she pointed again. Toad didn't really want to break anything else so he wrapped his tongue around Wanda's arm and pulled her hand down.

"You're way too drunk ta be hexin' anything, snugglebunny," he stated.

"I am not drunk," stated Wanda emphatically as she stamped her foot. Instantly, all five bottles spontaneously shattered.

"Okay, okay," agreed Toad, "You're not drunk but you do look tired. How about we go to bed?"

"Oh alright," said Wanda dejectedly. Toad happily helped Wanda up to her feet. Finally, this nonsense would be over. He could clean up the glass and when Lance came home they would figure out what to do about the window.

"Not so fast," said Wanda as Toad helped her over to the stairs. He had to steady her to keep her from falling over.

"Sorry," he replied as they finally reached the top of the stairs. He looked over to his room and decided that since it was closer to the bathroom she should sleep in there for the night. He could sleep downstairs or something.

"Why're we in your room?" asked Wanda groggily.

"Because you'll be closer to the bathroom in case ya need ta throw up," explained Toad, hoping that she wouldn't think this was some kind of attempt to sleep with her. He may be slimy but he certainly had more class than that.

"What about you?" she asked. Wanda's legs had apparently ceased to function at this point and Toad was almost dragging her to the bed.

"I'll sleep somewhere else that's not your room or my room," assured Toad. Wanda's legs decided to awaken from their near-death experience and chose that moment to work again. Unfortunately, they got tangled up with Toad's and the result being both of them falling onto the bed.

"Well," said Wanda with a smile as she suddenly found herself on top of Toad, "this is certainly interesting." Toad turned bright red as he tried to get up. Strangely, Wanda kept him pinned down.

"Then again," continued Wanda, "you were the one who said we should go to bed."

"I didn't mean it like that," explained Toad sheepishly. Wanda smiled playfully and moved her face closer to his.

"I think you did," she said slyly, "I know you want me, Toady, and the funny thing is that right now I think I want you too." She kissed him on the lips. When she broke away he looked at her. It was the alcohol talking, practically screaming. She was drunk. This wasn't right.

"You're not yourself," said Toad, "I'm not gonna take advantage of you, Wanda."

"Fine with me," said Wanda seductively, "but right now I wouldn't mind it so long as it's you." She kissed him again. Toad pulled back using almost all of his willpower.

"I have to tell you a little secret," whispered Wanda hotly in his ear, "I think that tongue of yours is incredibly sexy."


"So how exactly do you play Special Delivery?" asked Lance as he turned into a suburban neighborhood. Tabby smiled from her position in the passenger seat.

"It's really easy," she said, "All you gotta do is get real close to people's mailboxes then drive away really fast."

"What're you gonna do?" asked Freddy from his seat in the back. Tabby's grin got even bigger.

"I'm gonna be the mailwoman," she said, "Lemme show ya." Lance pulled up near a mailbox. He should've seen it coming. You don't call a girl Boom Boom and expect her to not enjoy blowing things up.

"Go!" shouted Tabby as she quickly opened the box, lobbed a little time bomb inside it, and closed the lid. Lance jammed on the gas and sped away.

"Special delivery," shouted Tabby as the mailbox exploded. She began laughing hysterically.

"And here I thought livin' with the X-nerds had softened you up," said Lance sarcastically, "Tabby, you're gonna get us in serious trouble."

"Oh lighten up," replied Tabby with a smile, "It's not like you guys aren't used to it by now."

"Well, I think we've had enough for one lifetime," replied Lance.

"Hey," said Tabby, "let's do that one next. It looks really expensive." Lance sighed.

"Forget it," he stated, "We're going back to the house."

"Hey," said Freddy, "I think that one's Principal Kelly's house."

"See, there you go," said Tabby, "Don't you wanna get back at him, Lancey? I heard how he expelled you guys. Let's teach 'im a little lesson."

"Alright," sighed Lance, "but just his." Tabby nodded her head. Lance knew full well she wouldn't be satisfied with just one but he had to admit he did want a little revenge on Kelly.

"Don't even stop this time," said Tabby, "I think I can just open and drop." Lance nodded and sped past Kelly's mailbox. In a lightning-quick move that would've made Pietro jealous, Tabby opened the box and shoved a time bomb inside.

"Special delivery," she crowed as the jeep sped away while the box exploded, "See, don't you feel better?" Lance had to admit he felt a small sense of retribution. It had been a long time since he'd had fun like this. It felt good.

"Well," he stated, knowing he would kick himself later, "Maybe we could do a few more."

"I knew there was a reason why you're my favorite person," cooed Tabby.


This was not real. This was not real. Toad forced himself to mentally repeat the statement. He looked at the girl that was on top of him. This is not Wanda. This is not Wanda. This is an intoxicated seventeen-year-old who happens to look like her.

"You look tense," said Wanda, "It'll be much better for us both if you loosen up some. I promise I won't bite, much." The only biting occurring now was Toad biting all six feet of his tongue in an attempt to stop himself from giving in to the ungodly amount of temptation he was facing.

"No, see," he struggled to explain, "this is a bad idea. This is probably the worst idea in the history of bad ideas."

"Why's that?" asked Wanda as she took off Toad's shirt and threw it on the floor, "We both know you've been dreaming about this since you first saw me." Well, sure he had. He may love Wanda with all his heart but he wasn't blind to the fact that she was incredibly hot.

But this, this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be romantic, magical. He knew there was an almost one hundred percent chance this was her first time and, as much as it hurt him to say no, a drunken one-night stand was no way for a girl to lose her virginity. Plus, in the morning when she was thinking more clearly, she'd probably not only kill him for taking this much advantage of her but castrate him before doing so.

"Wanda, darling," he said as he tried to somehow get out from under her, "You know I love you but you're just not yourself tonight."

"That's perfectly alright with me," cooed Wanda, "I don't think you'll mind either in a little bit." Toad tried to protest but his mouth and Wanda's decided to have a more intimate exchange of ideas. He felt her mouth start to trail down his chest.

"Uhm, sweetie?" he asked as her mouth continued its downward spiral, "You're moving a little too far south here."

"Silly boy," said Wanda with the zipper on Toad's jeans between her teeth, "How else am I supposed to get these pants off of you." Dear Lord, there was no stopping her.

"Wanda," gasped Toad as Wanda deftly removed his pants. Of all days to wear boxers with smiley faces on them this was the most embarrassing.

"Oh, they're so cute," giggled Wanda, "You have to be the most adorable little frog ever."

"Okay, Wanda," said Toad as he tried to get out from under her, "Really, I think we need to stop." He knew she'd get mad but if a little slime in the face could stop both of them from making a mistake then so be it. There was a tiny problem, however. Whatever organ it was that made said slime just decided to go on strike.

"Naughty little boy," hissed Wanda as Toad realized his powers weren't working. Apparently Wanda's aim with hexing improved with proximity.

"What'd you do?" asked Toad. Wanda giggled as she straddled him and continued to kiss him playfully on the neck.

"Disabled your powers," she replied, "The first time I kissed you." Bad Wanda, very bad Wanda. Dear God, why must she torture innocent amphibians?

"Wanna see a magic trick?" asked Wanda. Toad gulped and shook his head in a violent no.

"It's really good," promised Wanda, "I'm about to turn a scared little tadpole into a big adult frog."


Lance had to admit he was having fun. It had been a long time since he'd randomly destroyed something for no reason. It was certainly a very good way to let out one's frustrations.

"Uhm, guys," said Freddy, "I think those police officers wanna talk to us." Lance looked in the mirror and saw the familiar flashing lights of "The Man" behind them.

"Now the fun's really startin'," said Tabby, "Should I blow out their tires?" Lance nervously counted three cruisers and tried to figure out the best way to lose them. He could always work up a few tremors but a driver with a huge headache was never a good idea.

"Rock 'n' roll," he nodded to Tabby. Tabby smiled wickedly as she let out a spray of time bombs that collided with the cruisers' tires and blew them off.

"Man, you guys sure know how to show a girl a good time," she said, "Not even Bobby could think up something this wild."

"Yeah, well I think we've had enough," stated Lance, "We fought the law and won, let's not push our luck."

"Party pooper," sang Tabby, "Hey, ya mind if I crash at the house?"

"You can take Pietro's room," replied Lance, "but just for the night."

"What about Pietro?" asked Tabby, "Don't tell me his sister finally killed him."

"Unfortunately, no," replied Lance bitterly, "He got kicked up to the A-list so he's out savin' the world."

"Aw," said Tabby sadly, "I was lookin' forward to makin' fun of him." Lance smiled at that. She and Wanda should talk.

"Oh yeah," he said, "Pietro's sister, Wanda, has a little bit of a memory problem so don't mention anything about that first time she came here."

"Why not?" asked Tabby. Lance sighed. Wanda's new attitude adjustment seemed to just make things more complicated instead of simplifying them.

"It's just not a good idea," explained Lance, "In fact, try not to interact with her very much at all." Tabby didn't say anything as Lance pulled up to the house.

"Hey, Lance," said Freddy, "Didn't we used to have a window there?"

"Oh hell," mumbled Lance, "Tabby, you stay here while me and Freddy see what happened." He figured Wanda had gotten mad, probably at Todd. He opened the door and smacked himself in the forehead. There was glass all over the floor. He eyed the coffee table by the couch.

"Beer?" he asked as he turned to Freddy, "Where did this come from?" Freddy shrugged. Lance heard a scream that could only be Toad. He ran upstairs and opened the door to Toad's room, figuring Wanda was in the process of torturing him. Well, she was certainly in the process of doing something with him.

"Uhm, Lance," said Toad as Wanda looked up and started laughing hysterically, "This ain't what it looks like, yo." Lance wasn't sure what it looked like. Wanda wasn't wearing a shirt, Toad was wearing only boxers, and it looked like she'd tied his wrists to the bedposts with something. Shoelaces?

"Well, that's good," he said as he came over and pulled Wanda off of Toad, "because it looked like you were about to have sex."

"Aw, Lance," whined Wanda, "You ruined the mood. And after I spent all that time tying him up too."

"Sue me in the morning," replied Lance as he caught a whiff of Wanda's breath, "Alright, I think you need to sleep it off."

"Well I was trying to do that with some help from Toady but somebody had to go and barge in," replied Wanda indignantly. Lance held up a finger in front of Wanda's face and passed it back and forth. Wanda's eyes lazily rolled around to follow it but she wound up getting cross-eyed and started laughing again.

"She's trashed, dude," said Toad as he tried to untie himself, "You wanna gimme a hand here?"

"In a minute," replied Lance, "Let's get her to bed first." He picked Wanda up and started for the door. Wanda groaned.

"Lance," she mumbled, "I think I'm gonna hurl."

"Trashcan," ordered Lance as he turned to see Freddy in the doorway, "I need a trashcan, stat." Freddy grabbed the trashcan. Lance put Wanda down and put the trashcan in front of her. Wanda promptly threw up.

"Now are you gonna untie me?" asked Toad. Lance sighed as he began freeing Toad.

"Pietro's totally gonna kill us for this," said Lance, "Where'd you two get alcohol anyways?"

"Well, that cabinet that had a lock on it," said Toad as he started putting his clothes back on. Lance rolled his eyes. He had figured that's what was in there.

"Wanda had the magic touch," explained Toad before Lance could even ask.

"Wait a minute," said Lance, "She was the one who started all this? And then she seduced you?" Toad nodded.

"I tried to stop her but she gets pretty forceful," explained Toad as Wanda stopped puking, "frisky too."

"Well, I think it's all outta her now," said Lance, "along with anything she ever ate."

"You okay, honey?" asked Toad. Wanda groaned in reply. Toad took that as a no.

"You better empty that thing," said Lance, "I'll get her to bed." He gently picked Wanda up and slowly moved out of the room. Toad nodded as he removed the trash bag and went to throw it away while Freddy went to get Tabby.

"What's Tabby doin' back?" asked Toad as Lance came back downstairs.

"Stayin' the night," he replied as Tabby and Freddy came back into the house. Tabby just looked at the glass on the floor and rolled her eyes.

"Home sweet home," she muttered as she headed up the stairs. Both Lance and Toad sat on the couch while Freddy went to bed.

"Is there any alcohol left?" asked Lance.

"Little bit," replied Toad, "but if you start tryin' ta kiss me I'll kick your teeth out."

"Deal," agreed Lance, "Man, I need a drink." He opened the last bottle and took a sip.

"Rough night?" asked Toad.

"Yep," replied Lance, "Let's just say it involved explosions, police cars, and us."

"Sounds like a bad action movie," cracked Toad, "Wanda okay?"

"Out like a light," said Lance, "She's got a trashcan by her bed if she needs it. She kept mumbling about how it was all her fault. She said not to blame you, that you had been a good boy." Toad beamed at that.

"Tomorrow's gonna be hell with her," said Toad. Lance nodded and took another drink.

"So Pietro and everybody else are out savin' the world," said Toad, "and we're here screwin' it up. Kinda crazy, huh?"

"Yep," replied Lance as he took the bottle into the kitchen and dumped its contents down the sink, "You really do love her, don't you Todd?"

"Of course I do," he replied with a smile, "but sometimes lovin' someone is knowin' when not to show it to 'em, ya know?" Lance shook his head. Tonight was not the night for philosophical musings.

"I say we wait till morning to clean up," he said as he went up the stairs, "I'm goin' to bed."

(Author's Note): Okay, sorry that was so long but thank you for being patient. Before you all start crying and whining, I am planning on continuing this for a part two. I just haven't got around to writing it yet because work sucks.