Bake the Gravy
By Heather Goldbug
8/15/03

Maureen:
Every single day
I cook up some meat
I hear people say,
"Smells good, let's eat"
I'm no Chef Boyardee
But still people stare at me
Boys - girls
I just cook so yummmmmmy
So be kind
And don't lose your mind
Just remember to follow the recipe

Bake the gravy for the ham
Let the salt flow so free
And, if you add a gram
Bake the gravy, or leave me
(Bake the gravy, or leave me)

Hey, won't you hold this page?
Yeah, perfect, that's the one!
This diva loves her sage!
Gravy, on a bun!
I never watch the news
Yan can cook fills those shoes
You'd love his know-how too, baby
He's divine
Now pass me the thyme,
And the honey-bear -- are you mixing that gravy?

Bake that stuff for the ham
Let the salt flow so free
And, if you add a gram
Bake the gravy, or leave me

No way - can you borrow my pot
But hey - don't you like your stew hot?
No bites! Don't lose your head
Cause in a minute, you can be fed
You, you can be fed!
Crisp cookies?!

Joanne:
It won't work.
I love to fry things deep.
I love butter and margarine
I make fries in my sleep
Nothing to fry this in.
Never quit - I follow through
Need the pot - but I love stew
What to do?
I just don't wanna do gravy
So be wise
And let me make fries
Gravy's a prize
But let's compromise
Besides! Who needs gravy?!

Skip the gravy for the ham.

Maureen:
French fries reek.

Joanne:
Salt will still flow so free

Maureen:
They're fine, but over-inventive

Joanne:
And if I add a gram

Maureen:
You should be less Greek --

Joanne:
Skip the gravy, or leave me

Maureen:
And less preventive.

Joanne:
That's it!
You stole my oven rack

Maureen:
I quit

Joanne:
You'd better give it back

Both:
Women

Maureen:
What is it about them?

Both:
Can't cook -
With them -
Or without them!

Joanne:
Skip the crap for the ham
Salt will still flow so free
And, if I add a gram
Skip the gravy, or leave me

Maureen:
Bake the gravy!
Or leave me

Both:
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm gone!