Title: Working for the Weekend
Category: Humor? Romance? I don't really know.
Spoilers: Um... "A Tangled Webb", I suppose.
Disclaimers: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, and Viacom. I am making no money off of this.
Author's Notes: Another challenge from Mae. This one had to be: Webb/Mac, Harm-bashing, under 1000 words, containing the phrase "I'm a ______, not a ______." Enjoy!
"I'm busy tonight, Harm," Sarah MacKenzie said without looking up from her paperwork.
"But Mac, this is really important. I can't show up without a date! That would make me look desperate," Harmon Rabb whined pitifully.
"Then you should've made arrangements beforehand. I'm a person with my own plans, not your fallback date. And I don't appreciate being treated as one."
"Come on, Mac..."
"No, Harm. Now go away; I need to get this report finished by 1700. By the way, don't you have paperwork of your own to do?"
Harm made a face. He had left JAG--again--and resigned his commission in order to rescue Mac from terrorists some months back. Fortunately, Admiral Chegwidden had taken him back on his staff. However, he was stuck processing Freedom of Information requests and working on dereliction of duty cases until the Admiral said otherwise.
"Yeah. When do you think I'll get something substantial to work on? I mean, it's been what? Three months now? I think I'm going to go insane from boredom."
"Isn't it a bit late for that?" Mac asked sweetly.
Harm glared. "Hey!" he pouted. "That wasn't very nice."
Mac grinned. "I know. That's why I said it." Harm threw a pencil at her, and she laughed. "Don't worry, Harm. I'm pretty sure you'll get back in the Admiral's good graces soon. He's probably just stressed out with the wedding plans, and taking it out on you."
"And I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, is that it?" Harm groaned.
"Yep!" Mac replied brightly.
"That was a rhetorical question, Colonel. So..." Harm said, changing the subject. "Are you sure you won't come with me tonight, Mac? It could be fun."
"I've already told you, Harm--I have plans for this evening. Now go away so I can get some work done."
"Who's the lucky guy, Mac? Are you happy with him? You'll have to bring him around so I--"
"Commander Rabb!" Mac finally shouted. "Out! Now!"
Harm's eyes widened. "Okay, okay. Jeez, you don't have to yell..." Muttering and grumbling about a certain Marine causing deafness, he left Mac's office.
'Finally, some peace and quiet,' Mac thought. Just then, the telephone rang. Mac sighed. 'Why me? Can I have one break today?' she begged any deity that might have been listening.
"Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie," Mac answered brusquely, hoping to get the call over with quickly.
"Are you ready for tonight, gorgeous?" The voice on the line sent shivers through her. She smiled. Looked like the gods were on her side after all.
"Of course I am," she answered, her voice a bit husky. "Where are we going?"
"That's need-to-know, Colonel."
"Well, I need to know, don't I?"
The man chuckled. "Not yet."
"Can't you just give me one tiny hint?" Mac wheedled.
"Nope. Patience, Sarah. It's a virtue, you know."
"I don't feel very virtuous when I'm with you," she purred.
"Really?" In her mind's eye, Mac could just see the smirk spreading across his face. "That's nice to know."
"You're not going to tell me, are you?" she mock-pouted.
"A man has to have some secrets, you know."
"And I've quite enjoyed discovering yours, Mr. Bond."
"Come on, Sarah. I hate it when you call me that." The voice took on a distinctly whiny tone.
"You're a brat; you know that, don't you?"
"Only because you spoil me."
"I've got to work on that."
"Oh, please, don't stop on my account."
"I couldn't do that. I love to spoil you. I love you."
"I love you, too, Sarah. Are you ready to leave?"
"What? It's not the end of the working day yet!"
"I know. I asked AJ if I could steal his Chief of Staff away for the weekend. He doesn't have any problems with it."
Mac's eyes narrowed. "Where are you?"
"Look out your window, Sarah." Mac stood and walked to the window behind her desk, stretching the phone cord to reach. A familiar convertible was parked in the visitors' lot.
"Clayton Webb, you do realize that I'm going to hurt you when I get down there, right?"
"As long as you kiss it better, you can do whatever you want with me."
"Oh, Clay, that's half the fun."
"Yeah? What's the other half?"
"Knowing you're getting what's coming to you."
"Should I start running?"
"Can I have a head start?" Clay smiled cheekily up at her window.
Mac thought for a moment. "No." She reveled in Clayton's laughter. "I'll be down in five minutes, Clay."
"Okay, Sarah. Not one second more, though. I'm starting to miss you already."
"Yes, dear," Mac quipped.
"Hey, I'm supposed to be the smart-ass here!"
"Don't worry, you have that title firmly locked up."
"You wound me, Sarah!"
"Not yet, Clayton."
"Five minutes, Sarah." He hung up the phone.
"Why, that..." Mac huffed in mock displeasure. She replaced the phone on its cradle and began throwing her belongings together, smiling secretly. She couldn't wait for the weekend to begin.