Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha..........fuu, it's so unfair; but i do own this plot so please don't steal!
Summery: A one shot AU about Inuyasha and Kagome dealing with a serious problem, that could cost Inuyasha his life. Theme/Moral story
Authors Notes: I started writing this story last night, at first it was just going to be an odd sentence that popped into my head. A weird poem maybe, but I kept going on and eventually, well, I had 18 written pages -.- So I changed the characters and made it an Inuyasha fic. Rated for abuse and language, borders the rating of R, but its nothing you haven't heard before I'm sure.
By : SNOW...........................
"Leave it as it is, it's a dream so leave it be." I turned away from the shelves. "What?" Inuyasha shook his head. "Just leave it alone...who cares what dreams mean anyway?"
I drew my brow together in confusion turning to face him. "I do." I figured he might back down from his argument if I said that, but Inuyasha was stubborn.
He shrugged. "It's just a dream."
Now he was starting to annoy me. His ignorance was making me mad. I walked over and stared at his bowed head, my hands on my hips indignantly. "Since when have you been articulate? It's really charming." I stated cynically.
I didn't intend to be rude like that, it just came out. He didn't take it harshly though. He just kept looking down while I stared at the top of his unruly black hair. "You know me, Kagome." that was all he said and in a totally neutral and serious tone that had me baffled as to what came next.
So I just turned. "Well," I said, looking the other way. "I was just saying..." I sort of trailed off figuring he would drop it. But of course this was Inuyasha, he was very stubborn.
He stood up behind me as I crossed my arms for lack of something to do. "No Kagome, I'm sorry. Just tell me I wont interrupt this time." I rolled my eyes though he couldn't see me, but huffed in the end and sighed in defeat.
"I had an odd dream is all. I heard a rumor that dreams you don't tell anyone come true. You know how superstitious I am. I'm paranoid. It was just weird." I gave a worried look to the dresser, thinking my own thoughts.
Inuyasha prodded me to go on. "You can tell me, I wont make fun." It was impossible to detect whether he'd noticed my uncertainty from his tone, but I decided to tell the truth anyway. He knew when I lied.
"It was really stupid. I was here in my room reading. Something about scented space travel, making no sense; But it got dark quickly and I was talking to you again, and it was suddenly de ja vou and as soon as I said it, weird things started happening, and..."
I shivered visualizing the memories, rubbing my arms as a nervous habit. "And, I became so paranoid and afraid as things kept popping up; and suddenly I couldn't breath." I gulped a large breath shifting my eyes around. I shook my head swallowing.
"And I couldn't think of anything because it was so silent. There was so much commotion, but it was so silent, like I'd suddenly gone deaf or something. " I lessened my tension slightly, having understood that much of the dream.
"But then you were yelling, and then that's all I could hear. Your yelling and silence. And I didn't know why you were mad and it scared me; a lot. But in the end the darkness filled me up...like water, it was like I drowned."
I ended it calmly, but was still quite on edge.
I'd almost forgotten I was talking at all, it was more like memory playback. And then his arms were around me. I tensed up visibly at first, but mellowed out when I realized it was him.
Her rested his chin on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist in a comforting matter. I'd asked him once, why he did this. He'd answered, "To forget." and nothing more. It's only been recent that he started doing it more.
It was like a substitute for talking . A way of saying so much without opening your mouth. Something few could understand.
"I'm sorry." he said softly as his breath tickled my neck. But I was surprised. He'd never spoken when he'd held me before. "For what?" I was utterly confused.
He bent his head and nuzzled into my neck. "I've always been with you, always indulged in you, to forget everything else. You've become my narcotic, Kagome."
My heart leapt into my throat as he spoke, his choice of words that came naturally and sounded different than he meant, and that tone of voice with my name. Did he think he was selfish?
"I was wrong Kagome, I used you like a drug, I'm sorry." His grip around my waist lessened and while he pulled away, I knew he was walking to the window.
After a short moment I turned to him and grabbed his hand. "Inuyasha-" my words choked and died in my throat and were replaced by a small cry as he turned. For the first time that evening, I saw his face, and he was beaten; a lot.
My hands shot to my mouth. "Oh my God," He looked at me with a pained expression that seemed mixed and shamed. He turned away and didn't speak.
"Inuyasha," I hoped to get his attention, but he continued to stare at the ground, glaring holes through it and letting his jet black hair curtain his face. "Inuyasha," I spoke with more force and worry. "Who did this?"
He still didn't look up. "Don't ask my Kagome, please don't." I my hands. "Inuyasha, tell me. This isn't a joke!" I cried. He only turned further away. "I have to go now."
He started toward the window again, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist like before. "No, Inuyasha, please." I begged him, the sob evident in my voice.
"I-I won't ask, just, just stay. Let me look at you better." In that I meant, 'let me help you' buit he knew exactly what I meant, and I was so worried that he would climb out that window and I would never see him again. But he caved.
With a sigh he sat back on the bed, and letting go of his hand I got to look properly at his face. It was traumatic. His left eye was getting swollen and all under and around it was a dark ugly bruise, varying from black and purple, to a yellowish tint.
His lower lip was split and still slightly bleeding and there were other small cuts across his face, and a larger gash on his forehead. I could only stare at him in pain. "Oh, Inuyasha." I held both his hands kneeling in front of him with tears welling up in my eyes.
He looked at me and tried not to react, as he released his hand from my grip to wipe the tears away softly. "Please don't. He asked softly.
I bit my lip and nodded, getting up. I walked to the door and turned only to say "Please stay." and ran off.
In less than a minute I was back with an armload of supplies and a first aid kit. I dumped it all on the floor in front of him and began setting to work. I worked at a steady pace. I had to keep him here, at least long enough to talk.
I was almost positive who did it. There were only two possibilities, it being so recent. He had disagreements with his step mother and his half brother. It could have been either except for one thing.
Inuyasha's bruise was on his left eye. When people punched, they usually swung and hit the same side of the face as their dominant hand. Inuyasha's brother was left-handed.
And I'd be damned if I let him go back to him after this.
I shook my head absently as I finished cleaning the smaller cuts. How could I have been so blind? So oblivious? He seemed so normal when he climbed in the window. It wasn't odd, it was his way of entrance. Every other day he came to talk.
So when he insisted he had nothing to say, I'd started on about my dream, completely missing the fact that I hadn't seen his face since he'd come in, and never imagining that he would hide it. It was disturbing and I wanted to know. I felt I had the right. He was my best friend.
But I wouldn't pry, as long as it kept him here; or anywhere away from his father. He winced suddenly. "Sorry," I muttered, wincing along with him as I cleaned the gash on his forehead with an alcohol cotton swab.
I taped a rather large cotton square bandage to his forehead with the medical tape and finished. There was nothing keeping here now. I looked to the ground; it was times like these I felt so helpless. Not knowing what to do or say. I wanted to help him, oh God how I wanted to, but he was so damn stubborn, I didn't have much of a chance.
He started getting up. "Inuyasha," he paused looking at my bowed head and I couldn't help thinking we'd switched roles. "P-please don't go back Inuyasha. I know-I...please." He didn't move. "I can't stay here," "They won't find you!" I was becoming frantic.
His brother could kill him, and he'd be gone. I would be alone. And know I was being selfish. "They can't possibly- whoever- they won't know."
"But your brother doesn't!"
And I'd said it. And now he knew my thoughts. It was suddenly very quiet. "What makes you think it was him?" he said it calmly, but even he gave himself away in the fact that he said 'him' instead of 'my brother.'
He was quiet, like he was thinking.
"This wasn't the first time was it?" It was more of a statement than a question, something I somehow already knew.
"No..." he trailed off.
I started to get up. "But it's no big deal," "Don't you say that!" I spat adn stood right in his face. "Don't you lie." My eye's flashed dangerously but more in pain than anything else. And again he looked away from me, like it was too real for him to face.
"Inuyasha I don't care, I don't care about all those things you thought were selfish on your part." I stood right behind him.
"Cause they weren't, and you're my best friend. Damn it Inuyasha, you're my best friend! That's what I'm here for, we need each other. And all the times we talked or just sat here to forget everything else in the world, that wasn't selfish, it's our right... And I-I'll always help you through things Inuyasha. I will."
I paused as my heart pounded furiously. It was hard to tell him and I'd almost let something else slip out. Which was probably why my heart was pounding in my ears.
When he still didn't speak I took a stand, and mirrored his actions from earlier and so many times before. I stepped forward and looped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. He almost didn't tense at all and almost immediately rested his arms over my own, keeping me in place.
And we stood there for a long moment, feeling a lot safer than before, until the tension broke through. "Kagome, I really have to go." I tightened my grip instinctively. "Why?" I could only hope my voice didn't sound as scared as I felt.
"If he notices I'm gone,"
"He can't find you here Inuyasha, and do you honestly think I'd let you go back to him?!" Almost reluctantly he wretched away from my grip and spun around. "You can't stop me Kagome."
"Inuyasha he'll kill you!!" I all but shouted in his face. My family never heard, and sometimes I wondered if I had sound proof walls. I was shaking with the sobs that threatened my voice. "I can't let that happen, I can't let him hurt you. And if that means I have to fight you to keep you here, than so be it!"
I seemed so angry with him in all the ways I acted, but it was all I could do to keep from breaking down right there. I had to overcome it with an even stronger emotion, and my will to keep him safe; because I knew, if he left through that window I may never see him again.
"Kagome, please. I don't want to fight you, but I have to go back. I can't back own from my fears. I can't be a coward." I looked at him in utter disbelief. "Is that what it's all about? Not backing down? So you're not a bloody coward?!" How could you be so stupid!!"
My resolve depleted and I broke down in front of him crying, but I wasn't done, I wouldn't let him be hurt again. "Kagome don't. I'll be alright, I promise." I snorted a cynical laugh.
"Yeah? Like you were this time. Or all those other times, when you lied and said you fell, or ran into something or got hit with a baseball!" I stomped up to him in fury. "I won't let you go back to him, as long as I'm breathing I won't let you get yourself killed over this!"
"Kagome," he put his hands on my shoulders, but I hiccuped. "No! You, I- can't...!" I started hitting him, pounding my fists against his chest but he ignored it. Tears started leaving his own eyes as I slowed my onslaught into nothing, breaking down completely as he enveloped me in his arms.
I cried into his shirt as I fell on to my knee's and he followed me. The harder I cried the more he tried to comfort, and soon he held me against him with an arm around my back and the other on the back of my head, petting my hair softly.
"Kagome, please. I can't do this." I choked and finally subsided slightly, There was one more thing I needed to know. "Inuyasha, tell me the truth. Is there anything else that you've kept from me?" He didn't say and thing and he didn't break away.
Slowly he backed off and just sat before me, staring not at me, but at his leg. I was scared. To scared to speak as I reached down and pulled up his pant leg. I dropped it in utter shock. All along his calf were long, thin, red slices into his skin. Un even and new, there were several deep cuts into his leg.
"Oh my God, Oh my-" I couldn't say anything else, and I know he was regretting having shown me. I looked to him so confused. "Why?" He glared at the floor pushing his pant leg back down. "Cause my brother's a ing . And he can go to hell." He was angry so much.
:That's why I have to go back, I can't let him win. I'm not a coward." "He told you that, didn't he?" I pressed my luck, I had to convince him. "He said that you were a coward, and you're too proud to let that go."
He stood up and I stood with him. "You can't do that Inuyasha, you're not stupid, I know you, so why are you letting something like this get to you? It's so stupid! How can you listen to-"
"Stop it; Shut up! Shut UP!!"
I stopped immediately. He'd never yelled like that. He glared at me menacingly. "You can't tell me that, you have no idea what it's like! To always have someone over you, someone watching and controlling your life! To never be able to speak your mid in your own house because you're ing afraid! And to be called a coward all your life because you never fought back. You took it all and never complained. But you know what? I'm done. I'm finished with lying around and waiting to get hit! I can beat him now."
He was so serious and I'd never seen him this way. So violent and mad. I had to stop him. "Inuyasha no, don't you see what you're doing? You're acting like him! You're-"
"What if I want to?"
"I know you don't."
"You don't know anything."
"I know how I feel for you, I know I don't want you to get hurt!"
"That has nothing to do with this-"
"It has everything to do with this!!"
"Leave me alone!"
"No! You can't-"
"Why don't you just shut up!"
"Why don't you!!"
I stared in shock and moved my hand to touch my cheek. He slapped me...and the fact that it was hard and incredibly painful wasn't what hurt the most. I fingered the mark instinctively and found a little blood. He'd broken the skin with his nails. They weren't long, but he'd hit so hard...
He seemed to be shocked too. He wasn't saying anything and just stared in disbelief. "Kagome," I winced stepping back a little, and he cringed shamefully.
"Kagome, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" he cut off as I backed away further, sincerely afraid he might do it again. "It's making you like him, you've already changed." I said quietly, still avoiding his eyes and cradling my cheek. "You're becoming him, just like your father."
He stepped toward me and I stood still, squeezing my eyes shut bracing myself for another hit. But it never came. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was crying. Inuyasha was crying.
He shook his head slowly, gritting his teeth with force and his eyes boring into mine with intensity. "I will never be like him. Never." He spoke so strongly, and I knew. I knew this was what he feared most of all, this was what he hated. Of anything in the world, what he feared most, was becoming his brother.
I dropped my hand from my cheek and held both against my chest as he embraced me. His arms went around my back and hung loosely at my waist, as I leaned into him and sobbed silently in relief.
"I won't go," he whispered. "I won't be like him...I won't leave you."
Memories of the past flooded my mind in flashes as we stood there. I wrapped my arms around him too eventually, understanding him so well. I loved him, in a way that even I was not sure of. But what I knew was that nothing, nothing scared me more than the thought of losing him and the possibility of what could have happened that night. And that, and more than that, was why I kissed him.