A/N: Not many changes. Just fixed the grammar and spelling errors and added a line or two. You can now see a version of this story with pictures at http://www.swallowingshadows.nu/williesrevenge.html Hope you enjoy!

Willie's Revenge

a silly fic by Celes Chere

We see Willie creeping down the basement steps in the old house. He has a strange grin on his face and is holding something in his hand but we can't see what it is. He reaches the bottom of the steps and starts giggling while he continues towards Barnabas' coffin. When he reaches it he opens the lid, and bends over Barnabas' sleeping form. He giggles even louder as he starts to do something to Barnabas' face, but the camera is angled so we can't see what he's doing. Willie finishes whatever he's doing and closes the coffin.

"I shall have my revenge!" Willie screams and then he runs back up the basement stairs, laughing manically.


Later that night at the old House:

The camera is showing Barnabas' POV as he walks up the basement stairs, and looks through the bars on the door. Julia is sitting in a chair reading a book as she waits for Barnabas. Barnabas walks through the door.

"Good evening Julia," He says in his usual manner.

Julia turns around and is about to say something but stops. She stares at Barnabas for a few seconds and then starts to laugh uncontrollably.

"What is it Julia? You are behaving irrationally,"Barnabas asks as Julia continues laughing only, now she is rolling around on the floor. Barnabas taps his foot and waits for several minutes until Julia stands up and stops laughing.

"Now can you tell me what is so funny?" Barnabas asks in an aggravated tone.

The laughter threatens to return but Julia chokes it down."There's something drawn on your face." she says then starts to giggle a little. The camera finally turns so we can see Barnabas' face.

There is a beard and mustache drawn on it in black marker.

"On my face?.....WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In a few seconds we hear footsteps on the stars.

"What is it, Barnabas?" Willie asks and the he sees Barnabas' face and cracks up.

"Willie, get me a mirror," Barnabas commands.

Julia, who had managed to stay clam since Willie came down the stairs, crackes up again.

"Get... you.. a....mirror!" She manages to choke out.

"Yes. I want Willie to get me a mirror. What is so funny abou......I was joking."

"Sure you were,"Julia says with a huge grin on her face.

"Never mind," says a defensive Barnabas. Then he notices something in Willie's hand.

"Willie, is that a marker I see in your hand?" Barnabas asks as he narrowes his eyes, which don't look menacing with the picture drawn on his face.

"I.... I... gotta go!" Willie says and then runs out the front door.

"After him!" Barnabas yells then he runs out the front door with Julia behind him.


Eagle Hill Cemetery

We see Vicky wandering around the graves with a flashlight. Barnabas and Julia see her and run over to her. Barnabas' face is hidden in the shadows, as it tends to be.

"Victoria, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Barnabas asks.

"I don't understand. You know I always wander around the grave yard in the middle of the night for no aparent reason," Vicky says with a confused look on her face.

"Whatever. Have you seen Willie?" Barnabas asks.

"Yes, he ran into the mausoleum a few minutes ago," Vicky answers.

Barnabas steps out of the shadows and starts to go after Willie. Vicky sees the drawing on his face and begins to laugh.

"Oh no! Julia, make sure she remembers nothing. I can't let the woman I'm trying to force to marry me see me like this," Barnabas says and then heads towards the mausoleum.

"Why do I always have to do this?" Julia asks with an annoyed tone. Then she turns towards Vicky, who is rolling around on the ground laughing.

"Vicky, Would you like to see a pendant my grandmother gave me?"

"Sure!.......... Ohh! Sparkly!"


Inside the Collins mausoleum.

We see Barnabas opening the secret room. Willie is in there writing something on the floor by Barnabas' old coffin. Barnabas walks over to him and sees what he is writing. It's: 175 year old dork wuz here! with an arrow pointing to the coffin. Willie looks up and sees Barnabas.

"Oh. hay Barnabas," Willie says and then stands up.

"Willie why did you do this?" Barnabas asks in an angry tone.

"Because of what you did to me!" Willie whines.

"What I did to you?" Barnabas asks incredulously.

"Yes! Because of you there's a permanent wolf head imprinted on my ass!" Willie whines and then begins to cry.

"Oh. Well, fair enough but I still have to punish you to protect my evil vampire image."

"W....what are you gonna do?" Willie stutters in a frightened tone.

"I'm going to make you clean Adam's cell."

"which one?" Willie squeaks.

"The one he used before he was potty trained," Barnabas says calmly.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Anything but that! I wouldn't mind a whole family of wolves imprinted on my ass. Please!"

"Sorry Willie, you brought this on yourself," Barnabas says and then grabbes Willie and drags him out of the mausoleum, with him screaming all the way.


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