Warnings/notes : Ryou/Bakura, songfic, shifting first pov, bits of bad language, hints at abuse (not by Ryou or Bakura), overly romantic/oocness for this chapter.
Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. The song 'Milk' belongs to Garbage. Lyrics slightly altered.
written at 30th june 2003, by Misura
//And I am cool
Cool as the deep blue ocean//[Ryou]
His question makes me nervous, in part because I'm not sure of the answer myself. Or rather, I do know why I came here, but I'm not sure how to phrase it.
"Why do you think I'm here?" I ask instead.
Before, I have always been the one giving, giving without receiving anything but a crumb of his affection. That's why tonight, I can't afford to give him anything.
As I raise my eyes to meet his, I make sure nothing shows in them.
If he returns with me, if he comes back to me, it will be because he wants to do so himself, not because he takes pity on me. Not because of a lie, since my yami taking pity on someone, even if that person happens to be his hikari, is definitely that.
I'm waiting for you//
He stares at me, trying to read my mind. I stare at him, with empty eyes.
The noise of the crowd seems to fade away to a blur, a buzzing sound in the background. No matter the distance between us, if he would whisper, I could still hear his every word.
If only he would speak.
The silence between us stretches, neither of us willing to break it, to be the weaker one. I don't want to prove the words he always taunts me with, but I know I can't keep this up much longer.
Still, I have to try. For both our sakes.
I may not think much of the life he has built for himself, mainly consisting of drinking and whatever he does for a living, yet that doesn't give me the right to take it all away from him.
He would give it all up to be with me, I know. He can't help himself. Maybe I can.
I'm waiting for you//[Bakura]
Why doesn't he say something? Why are his eyes so cold and empty of any feelings as he returns my gaze? He's my hikari! He should have some kind of emotion for me.
Like I have always had for him, even if I never showed it much.
Is thay why he's here? Because somehow he could feel I needed him, could hear me calling him? And if he is, what should I do now? I caused him grief, I know it well.
Do I really do him a favor if I return to him, if I admit I can't live without him? I'm his yami, his darkness. Wouldn't it be best for both of us if I just kept away from him? I don't think I could go through hurting him over and over again once more, yet I fear that's what would happen.
"I think you should leave here." I say finally.
I'm waiting for you//[Ryou]
His words are like a slap to my face. They sting. They wake me up from my near-trance.
He doesn't want me. I came all this way to follow a dream, an illusion.
I thought I knew what I wanted, but once again, I'm proven wrong. Like when Yami offered to split us and I so eagerly agreed, not knowing the pain it would cause me.
I turn my head away to hide the hurt in my eyes.
"W-why?" I ask. Because I want to know. Because there is no way in which he could hurt me any more and it's better to get it all in the open now, rather than having to wonder about things for the rest of my life.
I don't need the mind-link to tell me he's in pain. Once again, it's my fault. Doesn't this prove how right I was in running away from him?
Even if I'm not tied to him any more, I can't help myself. I run over to him, putting my arms around him, pressing his precious body close enough to mine to feel his heart beating against mine, its rhythm as fast as mine.
"Hikari! I'm sorry! I love you." He looks up at me, his brown eyes blurred with tears.
As mine are.
//I'm aching for you//[Ryou]
I hadn't expected this. I hadn't expected him to care, to hold me and even less to tell me that he's sorry. That he loves me. Can I allow myself to believe in this?
I raise my head to his, amazed to feel his tears mignling with mine as our mouths meet.
The Millenium Ring I still wear, even if its powers are drained, starts to grow warm. I have enough of a mind left to wonder what's going on.
"Let's get out of here."
I nod. While preserving as much physical contact as possible, we walk to the exit. Maybe people are staring at us ; I know nor care.
As soon as we are out of sight, a light starts to glow on my hikari's chest. He draws out the Millenium Ring, or rather, the worthless piece of jewelry that once wore that name.
I look at him questioningly, but he seems just as clueless as I am.
Putting my arms around him once again, I draw him closer, watching the glow spread over us.
Something's happening to me. I feel something touch my mind, lightly, teasingly. It tickles a little, like the feeling of butterfly-wings, brushing against the edges of my mind.
The light from the Millenium Ring washes over us. In my yami's eyes I read a hint of fear. Perhaps he remembers the first time the Ring flared so brightly, when his soul was imprisoned by it.
Someone is screaming now, I don't know if it's him or me.
My world goes dark. I feel I'm falling.
When Ryou opened his eyes, he was alone, the Millenium Ring around his neck no longer glowing. He rose groggily, wondering what had happened.
And then he felt it.
:: Yami. ::
The response was immediate.
:: Yes, hikari. I'm back where I belong. ::
:: Does this mean you need my body again to walk around? ::
A chuckle came from behind him, as arms encircled his waist. Ryou yelped with surprise.
His yami gently spun him around and leaned in for a kiss.
"Does this answer your question?" he murmured.
:: I can call this body whenever I want to, but I'll always be here too. I'll never leave you again. ::
:: Good. :: It was the last coherent thought he managed for quite a while.