Author's Note: A word of warning, do not drink or eat anything while reading this bit of insanity. I wouldn't want you to choke while laughing. Expect it to get funnier as the chapters are added. And no, I do not see the Twins acting like this. It's only a fanfic. lol! This story is NOT to be taken seriously!! It is only for comedy relief!!
Due to one review I got, I thought I should put this on here. Please DO NOT flame me for this story! Yes, this fic is rather embarrassing, I admit it, and it's way overly crazy. But, after all, this is only 'fan fiction'; a crazy story made up by an obsessed fan. I did not write it to make fun of or to insult the Matrix or the Twins in any way! I would never do a thing like that. So if you read it and don't like it, then please don't review it.
Disclaimer: I am only a fan and do not own anything of the Matrix!! All characters, names and anything else pertaining to the Matrix are owned and copyrighted by their rightful owners (the Wachowski brothers and Warner Brothers). The only thing I own is the fanfic itself and any fan-made characters that were created by me exclusively for the story. This fanfic and any of my other fanfics may not be copied, altered, edited or posted elsewhere without my permission. For those of you who may speak another language please feel free to translate my story into your native language for better understanding and your personal enjoyment ONLY, or to show to a friend that may not speak English.
Rated G – All age enjoyment
Twin Two sat huddled next to the window, his arms crossed over his chest, pouting. Twin One sat beside him, his left leg crossed over his right, and calmly flipping through a magazine. It was obvious that the two had been in another one of their brother arguments, One being the winner.
"One" Two calmly and softly began.
"No! I told you to behave yourself." One calmly but firmly said, not even bothering to look up from his magazine. "The Merovingian left me in charge so you do what I say."
Two's lip quivered while staring at One through his shades. He huffed and turned his head to look out the window while mumbling something about it not being fair. One sighed, rolled his eyes, and roughly turned another page. The roar of the plane engines and the chatter of the other people around them made it difficult to concentrate on reading anything. Two's whining didn't help matters any either. In fact One couldn't believe what they were doing now. The Merovingian had for some weird reason sent them on a crazy trip to some place called Hawaii. Why did the Mero think that they would even want to go to some place with a weird name such as that? Where was Hawaii anyway? The Mero had given them brochures telling about the place, some of which showed photos. It didn't look all that bad. One of the pamphlets showed a photo of a bunch of water coming up on, what was that called again? Sand? One shrugged at looking at the photo again then picked up another pamphlet that showed a picture of a woman having long black hair and dressed in a flowered necklace and a weird looking skirt. One shook his head and turned the booklet over. What was the Mero up to this time? A man's voice suddenly rang out over the plane's speakers announcing that they were about to take off.
A little later after the plane was in the air, Two slowly returned to his seat after nearly running over One and down the middle isle earlier.
"You ok?" One looked at Two in a concerned way as Two waited for One to move his legs to let him pass. Two silently shook his head yes. Two seated himself again and sighed. One continued to stare.
"What?" Two weakly asked.
"Nothing. You just look a little funny. That's all."
Two looked down at his lap.
"Plane sick?" One whispered. Two nodded his head.
Just then, of all times, the stewardess happened to be coming up the isle with that evening's meals. One breathed then glanced at Two, who looked worse than he did when he had returned. Finally the woman made her way to the Twins.
"Good evening. Since this is the ritziest Hawaiian flight, I have here a lovely list of delightful Hawaiian foods to choose from for your evening meal." The young woman smiled. One stiffened in his seat.
"Uh, I think we'll pass for right now." One glanced at his brother, who weakly looked up. "Because, you see,"
"Nonsense!" the woman cut off the rest of One's sentence. "Here would you like to sample the boiled lobster?" The woman grabbed a tray off of her cart and shoved it in front of One. His eyes bugged from behind his glasses then he shot a quick glance in Two's direction. It was too late. Two quickly got up from his seat, his hand over his mouth, and struggled to get by One's legs and the stewardess holding the tray. Two, half jumping over One, hit the tray with his hand, sending it and the lobster flying in the woman's face as he sped off down the isle like he had done earlier, his silver trench coat fluttering behind him. One stared over his shoulder, down the rows of seats, then slowly turned to the shocked and stunned stewardess.
"I told you we'd pass dinner!" One said.
"Well why didn't you tell me he's plane sick?"
"I was going to, but you never gave me a chance! You were too into that lobster that's now all over you." One picked a piece of lobster off of the woman's arm cringed then dropped it on the floor.
"Thank you. Now I have to pick it up." The stewardess bent down and started picking up the mess.
"The rest of it is down there anyway. Why should one more piece matter?" One leaned his head against the seat.
The stewardess held her tongue as she continued to pick up the pieces of lobster scattered on the isle floor, the other passengers trying to hide their laughter at what just happened.
When the stewardess left with her cart, Two returned yet again.
"Are you going to stay here this time or do you actually enjoy running down the plane's isle?" One moved his legs to let his brother pass by. Two only groaned as he seated himself heavily next to One.
"Whatever you do, whatever you say, please do not mention the F word." Two weakly said. One smiled evilly to himself.
"You mean 'Food'?"
Two groaned louder.
"I said don't say that!" Two snapped while placing his hand on his stomach.
"Boy you sure are irritable today." One opened up one of the Hawaiian brochures the Mero had given them and began flipping through it.
"You would be too if you felt like I do." Two said before groaning again. Changing the subject, One held up the pamphlet having the woman wearing the funny looking skirt and flowered necklace up for Two to see.
"Do you suppose they dress like this in this place we're going to?"
Two slowly turned his head to look at the photo. He stared for a good few minutes.
"I certainly hope not 'cause there is no way you're going to get me to wear something like that!" Two finally said after looking the photo over.
"Maybe just the women dress that way."
"I hope that's the case." Two leaned back in his seat.
"They call that skirt she's wearing a 'hula skirt'." One read aloud from the little booklet that told about what Hawaiian terms, phrases and words meant.
"Okay, so what does 'hula' mean?" Two looked up. One looked down the list of words.
"It says that it's a type of dance that's performed by both men and women."
"You still aren't going to get me into anything like that." Two breathed.
"The flowered necklace she has on is called a 'lei'." One continued. "It's made of flowers strung together."
"What is the skirt made out of to make it look so weird?"
"It says here that it's made out of long blades of grass."
"I wonder why the Mero gave us such idiotic looking clothes to pack in our cases." One said, still thumbing through the guidebook.
"What do you mean?" Two looked over at One.
"You didn't see them?"
One thumbed through the pamphlet he held until he found what he was looking for then he handed it to Two.
"There. That's what the clothes the Mero gave us look like."
One pointed to a guy wearing nothing but a pair of brightly colored shorts with flowers on them and holding some kind of weird looking colored board in his hand.
"No way!" Two gasped.
"What?" One grinned.
"No way am I going to wear that!" Two handed the book back to One.
"But you know how the Mero gets mad if we don't do what he wants."
"I don't care how mad he gets! I am not going to be seen wearing something like that!" Two glared at One through his shades. "It goes against everything we stand for! We're tough, bad, rough, mean assassins. We don't go around wearing flowered printed red boxers without anything else on!"
"I think the correct word for them would be shorts or swimming trunks." One corrected.
"I don't care what you call them. They still look like underpants, and I'm not going to be seen wearing just them by themselves in public!" Two crossed his arms over his chest again. One could only smile. He didn't want to wear them either, but he enjoyed hearing Two's anger.
"You aren't going to wear the skirt and you aren't going to wear the shorts. What, may I ask, are you going to wear?"
"This that I have on now!" Two ran his hands over the shiny silver trench coat and down his matching pants and smiled. One took another look at the guy in the flowered red shorts.
"Um, I think that's a good idea. I'll do the same." One quickly placed the pamphlet down and shuddered at the thought of wearing something like that in public.
"What are those called?" Two asked, pointing at a couple of long torches stuck in the sand in one of the photos. One flipped through the guidebook.
"They call them," One stopped to laugh. "Tiki torches." He finished while snickering at the strange new word.
"And what about the board that guy was holding?"
"It's called a surfboard."
"What's a surf?" Two asked, puzzled.
"Umm, it says here that surfing is, 'The sport of riding a surfboard toward the shore on the crest of a wave'." One looked over at Two and smirked.
"Whatever." Two breathed while shaking his head in amazement.
Grinning, One rested his foot on the back of the seat in front of him while he continued to look at the pamphlets.
"Hey! Watch it, buddy!" a loud roaring voice suddenly startled One. In front of him was the guy in the seat he had rested his foot on. Getting so into his reading, One hadn't realized that he had pushed the seat to the point of making it almost fold up on the guy sitting in it. Now he was looking into the red angry face of that guy.
"Oh my! I do beg your pardon, sir. I had no idea that," One's words were cut off when the muscular man grabbed onto his silver coat, lifting him out of his seat a little ways.
"Listen, punk, I have had a very bad week. And I'm on this plane and trip for one thing, and that one thing is peace and quiet. Understand?!"
One nodded quietly, trying not to suffocate on the guy's bad breath.
"Sir, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but do you know what a breath mint is?" One tried to smile, but something told him he shouldn't. The guy's eyes widened and his nostrils flared at One's words and the grip on his silver coat tightened.
"One more funny thing out of you and you'll see what I'm like when I get very angry." The man pushed his face closer to One's and tightened his eyebrows. One forced a slight grin before the guy dropped him back down in his seat and walked back to the seat in front. One turned a puzzled face to Two, who had been calmly watching the whole thing.
"Why didn't you just pull your razor on that guy?" Two asked
One shrugged and settled back down in his seat, careful not to rest his boots on the seat in front of him again.