I'm sorry everyone but we've come to our very last chapter. L This one is very very bizarre and messed up so read at your own risk. It's very random too. VERY random. You may find it longer than the previous because it's the Grand Finale so enjoy! Ohand it contains slight VashxMeryl. Sorry if you don't like that pairing but it's only a little bit so yeah go on and read.
Chapter Four- We're Trapped and…0.o
"What the hell are you guys talkin' about?!" Meryl exclaimed. "That cat is absolutely not trying to eat us!" Meryl turned her head to Vash, "AND YOU!! You're supposed to know how to get out of ANYTHING!!! BUT HERE YOU ARE ACTING STUPID!!!"
"Ahh, but Meryl! You might be the stupid one!" Vash said still in his deep voice that he used occasionally.
"What do you mean me the stupid one?!"
"Ahhh, but you're ALL the stupid ones!!" the cat said, glaring evilly at all of them.
"Nothing Meryl! Hehe. I don't mean you're stupid!" Vash said returning to his regular voice with a big grin.
"Grrrr…THE ONLY TIME YOU ACT SMART AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HELP US OUT OF THIS DAMN ELEVATOR?!" Meryl shouted with frustration.
"What? I don't act smart! I am smart!" Vash protested, trying to defend himself.
Knives spoke up…sort of, "*cough*NO!!*cough*"
"You all hurt my feelings!" Vash said bawling like a baby.
"Aw, don't cry!" Millie said trying to comfort Vash. "Here…pet the kitty. It will make you feel better!" Millie picked the cat up (against its will) and gave it to Vash. They all seemed to forget their accusations about the cat because Vash stopped crying and pet the cat.
"I hate this guy! Ooh, but that rub behind the ears is refreshing. Perhaps I'll save him for last!" Kureneko-Sama thought.
"I know!" Vash shouted, "I'll write a song about the cat!"
Millie, Meryl, and Knives looked at Vash with wide-eyed horror, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
But it was too late Vash had already started singing (really badly), "Liiiiitle caaaaaattttt sooooooo cuuuuuuuttttee!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh great, this imbecile is singing about me and very badly too!" the cat thought, looking with a disgusted expression at Vash.
"Oh make him stop!" Meryl shouted covering her ears along with everyone else.
"Uh Mr. Vash…?" Millie managed to say over Vash's "song".
"What's wrong Meryl?" Vash asked, who stopped singing after he heard Meryl tell him to stop. "It's not like you can sing better right?"
Meryl practically exploded on Vash, "WHAT'S WRONG?! WHAT'S WRONG?! I'LL TELL YOU WAT'S WRONG!!!! IM STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!!! Well except for the cat. And of course I can sing better! But I'm too HUNGRY to sing right now!! AND YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE YOU GOT US STUCK IN THIS DAMN ELEVATOR AND NO ONE ON THE OUTSIDE EXCEPT WOLFWOOD KNOWS WE'RE IN HERE!! BUT OF COURSE WOLFWOOD CAN'T COME GET US 'CAUSE WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO FLOORS AND BESIDES HE'S PROBABLY DRUNK!! AND I'M SO CLOSE TO KILLING MYSELF JUST TO GET OUT OF THIS ELEVATOR TRAPPED WITH ALL OF YOU!!!!! THAT'S WHAT WRONG!"
"Uh, does that include Millie too? Because if it did, you just dissed your best friend Meryl…" Vash commented, seemingly not fazed by Meryl's explosion.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Millie cried, "You think I'm an idiot?!"
"Uh no no! It's just that the hunger's getting to me that's all!" Meryl said trying to cover up what she had just said.
"Oh you needn't worry about your hunger woman! After you're in my stomach you won't need to eat…" the cat said to himself grinning.
"Well Meryl is right about the hunger. I'm hungry too…Hey that cat does look quite appetizing…hey wait! WHAT AM I SAYING?!" Vash said.
"Vash! Don't you dare eat it!" Millie exclaimed, "The hunger is just getting to us! Taking our last bits of sanity! Soon possessing our bodies, making us become…" Millie lowered her voice, "…cannibalistic!"
Vash sat down on the elevator floor, hugging his knees and chanting, "I will not eat it! I will not eat it! I will not eat it!"
The cat turned his head to Millie, "You should have let him eat me! THEN YOU ALL COULD HAVE BEEN SPARED!"
"I'm going to sleep…" Vash yawned. They had now been trapped for 10 hours and it was 3 AM.
"Yes, yes, go to sleep. Then I'll wait for the rest of them to slumber then I'Il make my move!!!!"
"Yes…now if the women sleep…I'll be all set"
"Aww Meryl doesn't Mr. Vash look so cute when he sleeps?"
"Uhh…oh hey where's Knives?"
"Damn! I forgot about him!"
"I'm right here pathetic human…"
"I forgot what that Knives person tasted like…*licks Knives* oh right…plant…"
"Stupid cat!" Knives threw him off.
"Damn that man!"
"Why'd you throw the cat?"
"It was pathetic like you."
"I'm up! What's with all the noise!?"
"Vash you're awake!"
"Of course Meryl, who could sleep? You're making too much noise."
"Dammit! He's up!"
"I need some kind of toy to sleep with...." Vash looked over at the cat, "That'll do!" Vash grabbed the cat and went to sleep with it snuggled in his arms.
"No! NO! YOU FOOL! LET GO OF ME!!!"
"Aw look Knives! Your brothers so cute!" Millie said clasping her hands together.
Knives ignored her.
"Aw stop being a sour puss!" Meryl scolded.
"Oh don't talk about sour Meryl! It reminds me of food!" Millie said holding her stomach.
"Yes I would like some food as well!
"I love you kitty toy…" Vash said in his sleep. ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZzZZZZZ.
"Aah, I see, this Vash fellow won't go to sleep unless he has a kitty toy. SO, I WILL BE HIS KITTY TOY!! Then while he's sleeping, I will secretly start chewing on....HIS FINGERS!!!MWUHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Hey Mr. Knives do you think that cat is actually planning something?" Millie asked.
Meanwhile, Vash was having a nightmare and talking in his sleep, "NOOO EVIL KITTY!!!"
"What the hell?"
"Meryl, what should we do?" Millie exclaimed worriedly. She grabbed Knives and started shaking him, "DO SOMETHING!"
"Why would I do something for you?" Knives asked Millie.
Er…Millie was foaming and in a deep scary voice with a fiery background, "JUST BECAUSE!!!!!!"
Knives shrugged, got up and kicked Vash.
Millie was now back in her sweet self, "You were having a night mare Mr. Vash!"
"You were yelling about some evil cat!" Meryl added in.
"Yeah! And the cat was planning to eat us! In fact it did eat us in my nightmare!" Vash exclaimed.
"HA!" Millie shouted triumphantly, "I TOLD you that cat was planning something!"
"Hey doesn't this cat look kinda familiar? I remember seeing it sitting atop a table…" Meryl said counting on her fingers.
"And on a leash!" Millie added.
"And right outside the mayor's office!" Vash inserted, remembering seeing it too.
"And it jumped out from behind a bar after some gunfire!" Meryl supplied, now with four fingers up.
"Oh! Oh! And on an old lady's lap!" Vash said thinking back to all the times he'd seen it.
"OH!! In a garbage bin that I was examining when Vash ran off!" Millie exclaimed.
"On a calendar too!" Meryl remembered.
"It was sitting with me and Kaite on the sand steamer once!" Vash recalled.
"And it was inside my bag once too!" Wolfwood, who was now back from being drunk and somehow got back into the elevator, added in.
"It was meowing loudly outside the hotel!" Vash said thinking really really hard.
"Oh! And it stopped me from cheating at chess!" Wolfwood said.
"OH!!!! It was nearby when I was playing dodge ball with those kids!" Vash said.
"Inside a garbage bin…" Millie said.
"On top of a mailbox when I was mailing letters to my family…" said Meryl
"Sitting on the floor…" Wolfwood recalled.
"It fell on Vash's head once." Meryl evoked.
"Oh God; this cat is evil! I remember seeing like a really, really, really long time ago! This cat is like 100 years old! I remember seeing it aboard the SEEDS ship!!" Vash announced, recalling the time he had spent with Rem up in the ship.
"That's 17! And I bet there was a lot more times too!" Meryl shouted holding up 10 fingers while Millie had the other 7.
"Oh Lord… you don't think that this cat has been trying to eat us for all those times…do you?" Wolfwood asked unsurely.
"You know, usually if someone accused a little innocent cat like that I would think that you were crazy but…since we've seen this cat around more than 17 times…" Vash stated, actually being smart in this fan fic for a change.
"SO!" Millie screamed picking the cat up by the collar (or at least where a collar would be if the cat had one), "THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STALKING US KITTY?! HUH?! HUH?! IS THAT WHY!!!!!!!????"
"Sooo…YOU THINK WE'RE APPITIZING HUH??" Meryl said balling a fist.
"Blast they've figured it all out!"
"This cat is more evil than you, Knives!" Vash exclaimed.
"I highly doubt that…" Knives replied shortly.
"Well you're not the evil master mind who wants to eat us!" Vash spat accusingly, glaring at the cat.
"What d'you suppose he's thinking about now?" Wolfwood asked, glaring daggers at the cat.
"I bet he wants to put ketchup on us…" Millie implied, also glaring with fire in her eyes. (Something you don't see every day ^___^)
"…Or salt!" Knives insinuated, glaring at the cat who was supposedly more evil than him.
"Or worse…PICKLES!!!" Meryl suggested, making everyone scream.
"Hmm…" Vash said in the voice he uses in more dire and serious situations (not that this is that serious), "Let me think back to see if I can remember some words of wisdom and advice my old friend might have told me in case I get myself in a situation like this…"
"Vash, idiot. There's no way that stupid girl Rem could've for some equally stupid reason, tell you how to get out of an elevator, in between two floors, full of starving people, with a homicidal black cat who has been trying to eat you for the last 100 years!" Knives shouted, trying to knock some sense into Vash.
"No…wait! I think I'm getting something!" Vash yelled victoriously.
Rem: Good Morning Vash! Where's Knives?
Little Vash: Still asleep.
Rem: Oh…well I have something new to teach you two but I guess we'll just have to start without him.
Little Vash: Oh I guess he won't mind.
Rem: Okay Vash… -takes out chart- This is an elevator…
------Lesson Goes On------
Little Vash: WOW! That was really interesting!
Rem: Thanks Vash!
Little Vash: -starts to leave-
Rem: Wait Vash! I still need to give you some words of wisdom and advice!
Little Vash: OKAY!! ^____^
Rem: Okay…if you ever find yourself stuck inside of an elevator, in between two floors, full of starving people, with a homicidal black cat who has been trying to eat you for the last 100 years, it is important that you—
Joe (a crew member): -comes in- Hey Rem! We need you down at the control room!
Rem: Okay…I'll see you later Vash.
Little Vash: OKAY!! ^____^
------One Week Later------
Little Vash: Hey Rem! What were those important words of wisdom and advice you were trying to say last week?
Rem: Oh…I guess I forgot! I'll just tell you when I remember, okay?
Little Vash: OKAY!! ^____^End Vash's Flashback
"SHE NEVER TOLD YOU!!!!!!" Knives shouted grabbing Vash by the collar, "WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HER AGAIN?!!"
"W—well at that specific moment it seemed very impossible to happen…You know what are the odds that a homicidal black cat would be the cause of our deaths?" Vash stuttered attempting to fend for himself.
"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?! THE ODDS ARE PRETTY GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW, DON'T YOU THINK?!"
"I BLAME THAT WOMAN AND YOU VASH FOR THE SITUATION WE'RE IN NOW! WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HER WHEN SHE PUSHED US INTO THAT POD THAT LANDED HERE IN GUNSMOKE!?!?"
"Well I couldn't ask her then…I mean it was a dire situation!"
"THIS IS A DIRE SITUATION!!" everyone shouted at poor Vashy.
"And now we're trapped and there's no way out until the power come back on." Knives said slumping down to the floor.
"…Hey do you guys here that?" Wolfwood asked, cupping an ear. Thunder and lightning was heard from the distance.
"THUNDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vash shouted, "AND LIGHTNING!!!!!!! SAVE US!!!!! MAKE A HOLE IN THE ELEVATOR SO WE CAN FINALLY GET SOME DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The thunder made a small hole in the elevator and hit the cat.
So then, the cat screams out, like He-Man,
"I HAVE THE POWER!!!!"
And then he turns all large, and muscular, and robust, and crap.
So then he comes closer and is about to eat them all.
"We're going to die! Just like in my dream!" Vash cried, then turned towards Meryl, "Meryl! I love you!!"
Meryl glared at him and said, "There's no time for romance right now! You're Vash the Stampede! Get us out!!"
So then the cat comes closer with his mouth open and drool coming out.
But apparently, a mechanical noise has heard and the lights came on, and the elevator starts moving.
Then the elevator doors open, and the light shines through.
So the cat screams:
"THE LIGHT! I'M MELTING!!!!"
Wolfwood: WHAT THE CRAP?!?!?
"YAY! We're saved!" Vash shouted running out of the door.
"FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!! THANK THE LORD!!!" Wolfwood praised.
"PUDDING!!!!!!" Millie exclaimed running put with Vash and Wolfwood.
Meryl walked out all traumatized.
Meanwhile, Knives was dipping his finger in the puddle of what remained of the cat. He put his finger in his mouth, "EWWW!!! And I was considering eating it!"
Yes, see it was ten pages. Six more than the usual. So anyway if you want to read the RP it originated from here you go:
Very very fun. FerrygrlBotan is my sister. I added some stuff. K, bye!