Worst Fears

Summary: Sharona's reflections on why Adrian Monk is braver than he thinks... short, semi-shippy drabble.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just enjoy getting inside their heads.

Spoilers: Oh, yeah ... lots and lots and lots. None major, I don't think, but minor for many of the eps... Sorry I can't list them all. It's 3am and the muses refuse to let me sleep until this is done.

Feedback is a girl's best friend...

Worst Fears

Adrian Monk's biggest fears... That's a long list. Where to start?

Germs: The man once walked through a sewer to save my life.

Heights: He climbed to the top of a Ferris Wheel to save my life.

Milk: Well, okay, so I still haven't gotten him around to that one yet...

Crowds: He acted in a play, in front of hundreds of people, to help my sister. Just because it was important to me.

Nudity: He's got this weird hang-up about nudity – scares the crap out of him. But he looked at pictures of me, naked and at my most degraded, and he still saw a woman he could respect and care about.

Being Alone: He walked through a sewer, climbed to the top of a Ferris Wheel, braved a crowd of hundreds... All for me.

Adrian Monk is not a man who likes being alone and, yet at the same time, is afraid to be. If nothing else about him is certain, that is.

Sharona Fleming is a woman who is scared to be alone and unloved. If nothing else is certain about her, that is. And there is a man in her life who sees it, who knows, the way only Adrian Monk can know things. And he has done everything in his power to prevent that from happening. I've walked out on him more times than I can count, but I always come back. Not surprisingly in light of everything he knows, he's known that I would too. And he does what he can to make it easier on us both.

It's a strange relationship, ours. Adrian Monk and Sharona Fleming. There are times when we can't stand the sight of each other, more times when one can't live without the other. He's my patient, my boss, my partner, my friend, the most infuriating person I've ever know. Superman to my Lois Lane...

How many times have I walked out on him in a moment of anger? Or come close to leaving for real? He always welcomes me back, acting as if nothing has changed.

How many times have I soothed his fears? How many times has he soothed mine?

Life's funny that way. It throws people together in the most unlikely combinations, and then it works out, exactly as if it was meant to be that way all along. How could it be, though, considering what he had to lose to make me a part of his life? There are times when I wonder what Trudy thinks when she looks down on us. I can only hope that I'm doing enough for him to make her happy...

She must have been an extraordinary woman to have such an impact on a man like Adrian Monk. And, as Stottlemeyer frequently gripes, to put up with him. And he is not an easy in man to put up with, in spite of all the things he's done for me, all the times he's saved my life or steered me from bad relationships... but he is a good man, and Trudy must have been one hell of a woman to recognize him for what he was.

And as he could look past his fears and uncertainties for her, he does with me as well.

There is no fear that Adrian Monk would not brave in my defense, nothing he would not do to keep me safe and happy. Obsessed as he is with solving crimes and putting away the bad guys, he would even look the other way to keep me safe. There is no phobia that he would not ignore, if only for a time, to help me. Adrian Monk has come to depend on me, to care for me. As fearful as he is of getting close to someone else, he has. As fearful as I am of letting someone else get close, I have.

Adrian Monk would go to the ends of the earth for me if I asked. Not that I would. He's afraid of planes and, for that matter, of traveling in general. Add that to his list of fears. But understand that he would.

He may have fears, but he is not without the ability to overcome them, either. He has. More times than I can count. He is not as fearful as he and others tend to think he is.

As frightening as the world is to him, Adrian Monk is one of the bravest men I have ever known.

The End