Disclaimer:  Love Hina™ and all its associated characters are the sole property of Ken Akamatsu.  They are used without their permission.  I don't get anything, no money, no respect, no nothing.

The Immortal Keitaro

By WAFFaddict

Chapter 1


"What did I do to deserve this type of luck?  I must have really done something wrong in a past life.  If I had known when I woke up that by the end of the day I would be dead, I wouldn't have gotten out of bed.  As one lives their life, they weave a story, this is my story…"

May 21, The Day Hinata Stood Still

'The day started out just like any other day.  Motoko was busy with her thousand-sword swings, which she started every day off with.  Sarah as usual was busy making my life a living hell any way that she could. Sarah had kept me up later, calling me names and hitting me in the head. Kitsune was still sleeping off her hangover from the night on the town she had with Seta, Haruka, and I.  Su had already busted into my room and checked to see if I was dead 3 times, now she was probably busy in her room making some invention that would inadvertently cause me pain.  Shinobu, sweet Shinobu was, by the smell of it, in the kitchen making breakfast.  Tama-chan had decided that this room was the perfect place to avoid Su, so she slept beside my head.  Mutsumi was quietly sleeping beside me and Naru she was in her room with Mutsumi probably still asleep'…"wait Mutsumi, what are you doing here" Keitaro uttered.

"Oh dear, I must have feel down the hole again.  I remember following Tama-chan and here I am" Mutsumi gleefully replied.

Somewhere deep in Keitaro's mind, a conflict was about to be settled.  In a little room inside Keitaro's brain a meeting was taking place.  The room could easily seat around 100 by the looks of it, but there couldn't have been more than a couple dozen seats occupied.  The seats were occupied by miniature versions of Keitaro, from various regions of his mind, body and his soul.  In the middle of the room there was a boxing ring.  An announcer who also looked like Keitaro stepped to the middle of the ring as a microphone dropped into his hand.

"Keitaros and Keitaros, tonight we have an animosity packed rematch.  The last fight between these two was a knock down-drag out brawl. This is the one to end it all.  The winner will take main control of the body's personality while the loser will have to accept a very minor role."

The crowd began screaming and chanting "Keitaro, Keitaro, Keitaro".  The announcer signaled that he was ready to begin the introductions.

"To my right in the blue corner, weighing in at well over 10 million neurons, from the conscience, Good Keitaro.  His opponent, weighing at well over 1 million neurons and 500 nerve endings, from the ego, Evil Keitaro.  Let's get ready to rumbbbbblllleeeeeee.

As the bell rung, Evil Keitaro came out firing on all cylinders, while Good Keitaro took a defensive stance to look for an opening.  When Evil Keitaro swung, Good Keitaro was right there to counter.  This went on for a few throws until Evil Keitaro's punches seemed to slow down. Good Keitaro seemed to gain the upper hand and the end appeared to be close at hand.

"Well at least Naru isn't up yet...I can at least get you out of here"

As Keitaro glanced around, he realized that if he quietly snuck Mutsumi out, he could easily avoid any conflict or bodily harm.

"Wait, Kei, can I get a few more hours of sleep first?" whispered Mutsumi.

The crowd inside Keitaro was shocked.  Had Mutsumi joined forces with Evil Keitaro?  Did she want him to lose control and try something on her?  Maybe it was the fact that Mutsumi had ended up in his bed again combined with the pounding in his head from the large amount of sake he drank last night.  Good Keitaro was distracted long enough to be caught off guard with a cheap shot

"Sure, go right ahead."

"Good night, Kei" whispered Mutsumi as he gave Keitaro a slight peck on the cheek.

As his cheeks took a crimson shade, so did the floor in front of him.  He quickly pinched his nose to stop the flow and began to search for tissue.  Soon came the light-headedness and darkness took him as soon as he found the box.

The Keitaros inside his head were also fainting one by one.  Evil Keitaro appeared to be the only one still conscious, but he was knocked unconscious by Good Keitaro, who soon joined his unconscious brethren.

When Keitaro came to, his face was no longer beet red, though he didn't remember how tissue ended up stuck in his nose or how returned to his futon.  Good Keitaro had been declared the winner.  Some how when everyone else came to Evil Keitaro was still knocked out.  As he turned over, he came face to face with Mutsumi

"Good morning, or should I say good afternoon"

"Oh hi Mutsumi, good morninnggggg...  ahhhh…what are you doing in here"

"Oh silly, you let sleep with you remember" giggled Mutsumi

"Oh in that case, what do you mean I let you….OH…I remember now, I thought that was a dream" replied Keitaro

"Well anyway, I have to go get ready for lunch, you missed breakfast.  I tried to wake you up, but I ended up falling asleep again.  How about I sleep over again tonight.  It'll be just like when we were kids"

"Sure, why not…oh I know…it's because if anyone catches you in here, they'll string me up and torture me" shrieked Keitaro

Mutsumi only smiled.

"Mutsumi, I've got to get you out of here, before now Naru…."

"What about Naru?"

Tama-chan's turtle sense went off and she decided that now was the time to leave, so she flew out the room.

Warning lights began to flash as the sirens went off inside the Keitaros' room.  This could only mean one thing: punishment was predicted.  Keitaros ran every direction trying to find some place where they could brace for the attack.  Good Keitaro was on his way to the brain so he could try to peacefully come to some type of agreement with the threat.

"Eeeehhheeeheee" Keitaro squeaked as he looked up to see Naru's head looking through the hole in the ceiling.

"Seducing Mutsumi again, when will you ever learn?  You get her drunk and then you try to take advantage of her when you could just have me all to yourself."

This was all that Keitaro brain could take, he simply froze.  No blood, no scream...  no nothing.  Good Keitaro didn't know what to do; even Evil Keitaro could only shrug his shoulders as he looked back at him.

"Kei, Hello…anyone home" Mutsumi said as she waved her hand in front of Keitaro's face

Good Keitaro had reached the brain and was busy with the brain Keitaros trying to unfreeze his brain.  Situations like this caught the brain off guard.  Sure there were simulations run in brain as fantasies, but this would never happen in reality.

"Keitaro, I was only joking…geez, can't even take a joke" griped Naru

Mutsumi stood up and stepped directly in front of Keitaro causing Naru to ready her protest. "I have no choice but to accept your stare down challenge" Mutsumi declared as she began her staring match with Keitaro.

The warning sirens had ceased and the Keitaros had returned to their various jobs throughout the body.  Although the brain had frozen, the operation of the body went on.

Naru fumed as Mutsumi inched closer and closer to Keitaro face until their noses touched.

The Keitaros never even saw it coming or else they would have surely been bracing for the impact.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!"  Naru screamed as she stood up and knocked Keitaro across the room much to Mutsumi dismay.

"I almost had him, now we have to start all over since Naru cheated"

"Oh brother, I'm out of here" Naru replied as walked out.

The brain is built to be able to absorb and repair itself after it suffers a blow.  Keitaro's brain had already been behind in its repair from previous blows.  This latest blow was the final one.  The brain simply shutdown, leaving the body frantic. 

"Status report" shouted Good Keitaro to the brain Keitaros

"The brain has shut down, sir.  We're cut off from the rest of the body."

"What's the situation on the brain repair and how long until it's up again."

"Its bad, sir.  We should be able to get it started up again in a few minutes.

"We're screwed" mumbled Evil Keitaro

"Minor role remember, so shut up" Good Keitaro said as he glared at him

Evil Keitaro stumbled back from the outburst as the brain Keitaros continued working frantically to restore the brain.  The brain began to start back up, but only basic parts.  Good Keitaro could only fear more bad news when the phone rang.

"Hello, is this the brain"

"Yeah, this is Good Keitaro, is this important because we have our hand full up here."

"I know, this is Keitaro in the memory, things are looking pretty bad here too."

"How bad is it?"

"Well, we've lost all memory, and I mean all memory"

"Geez, can it be fixed?"

"I'm not sure; the memory is a self functioning system.  The memories may still be in there, but we can't be sure where they are.

"Just great, my first day on the job and not only does the brain freeze, but I also lose all of the memories.

"All we can do is wait, without the memories then the brain will probably begin to set itself to auto-pilot."

Authors notes.

First off, neurons fire at such as quick pace that fight between Good and Evil Keitaro only lasted about 30 seconds at the most.  And no, Keitaro doesn't know what's going on in his head.  He has enough to worry about already.

This is the second version of this chapter.    I appreciate the reviews I received and I'll try to get these chapters out a little faster, at least like one per week.  As for the pairing of Keitaro and someone, I'm not sure. I like Naru and Keitaro together, but don't count out Kitsune, Motoko, or Mutsumi. Review this till your hearts content.  C & C's are very welcome.  Oh yeah...I'm looking for pre-readers. Just email me if you're interested.