Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, and all those good folks, not me.
Author's Note: Aaaand... it's another challenge response! Mae gave me the following challenge: AJ/Mac; Harm/Meredith; Harm- and Meredith-bashing; under 1000 words; "You know you want me, baby." Enjoy!
"Harm, no! Not in your office!" a feminine voice squealed.
"Come on, Merry. You know you want me, baby!" the voice of Harmon Rabb growled.
AJ and Mac exchanged horrified glances. "Uh, sir..." Mac said nervously. "Harm didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what, exactly?" AJ demanded. "That he was planning to engage in... indiscreet liaisons in JAG Headquarters?"
"Not exactly, sir. Although that probably would've been an interesting conversation," she muttered. AJ fixed her with a glare. "Sorry, sir. No, what he should have told you was that... uh..." Mac trailed off.
"Well? Spit it out, Colonel. What's Rabb gone and done this time?"
"Well... he's been seeing Meredith, sir." AJ didn't respond to this. Mac continued, "Meredith Cavanaugh, sir? Your ex--"
"I know who Meredith is, Colonel!" AJ barked. Mac blushed at a particularly loud moan from the office. "Well, they deserve each other. They're both adrenaline addicts, and hopefully Meredith can help temper Rabb's wild side." He snorted. "Although, knowing her, she's more likely to encourage it." AJ sighed. "At least they had the sense to wait until the bullpen was empty. Although I could have lived without knowing about this."
"Oh, I don't know, sir," Mac said, grinning mischievously. "Now we can get him to arrange the next fundraising activity."
AJ raised an eyebrow. "Blackmail, Colonel?"
"I prefer to think of it as simple persuasion, sir."
"Fair enough." They started walking toward the elevators. "I thought you had the McGregor case to work on, Mac?"
"Yes, sir, I do," Mac said. "Unfortunately, all of my information is in my briefcase."
"Do I want to know where your briefcase is, Colonel?" Mac bit her lip and just looked at AJ. Smirking, he said, "Should I charge Commander Rabb for a replacement?"
Mac chuckled. "No, sir. I think some industrial-strength bleach should do it."
AJ grinned. "I'll let the cleaning staff know."
Mac and AJ stepped off the elevator. As they passed the Marine guard at the door, AJ said, "Corporal, when Commander Rabb leaves, tell him to keep his private life out of the office."
Mac had to stifle a giggle. When they left the building, her shoulders began to shake. "Poor Harm. You know he's going to be traumatized for life when he realizes, don't you?"
"Hell, Mac, how do you think I feel?" AJ quipped.
Mac shook her head, laughing. "Good night, Admiral."
"Good night, Colonel."