He used to play with my hair at night, before we fell asleep, sometimes even braiding the white strands, loose enough so that if I feel asleep before him, he wouldn't pull and wake me up, but tight enough that on the morning, they were still there. I would wear them all day, or until Logan would run hid fingers through them, undoing the braids, so easily that he never caught one, and tugged. At times like that, I felt like I belong.

But now...

He doesn't do that anymore. He doesn't have anything to do with me anymore. Because he is too busy playing devoted puppy dog to Miss Jean Gray. Or he was. Now he too busy morning his precious dead girlfriend. The girlfriend that taught me just how long it takes to fry someone by lightly brushing my fingers across their temple. How long it takes for a normally calm and collected professor to break and scream until her throat becomes raw and soar, and she is begging for me to just kill her and put her out of her misery. And now I have her telekinetic and physic powers. I know what everybody is thinking. I also know everything Jean ever knew. I know that she never loved Scott or Logan, and I know her powers were even stronger then Professor X's. But she never told him for fear of what he might do to her. But I don't share that fear. Because I have one thing she didn't. The power to kill with a touch. And I won't hesitate to do so, if anybody tries to stop me. Because anger is the only thing keeping me going. Anger and hate and love. It is so weird to love, hate and look down on the same person. The last one is a leftover from Jean, while I hate Logan for lying and leaving me, but love him at the same time. Because he is my only love. And while she used to dream of Xavier, I still dream of Logan most of the time. The night after I killed Jean, I dreamed about her and Xavier doing things that creeped me out beyond belief. After that, I found a exercise that lets me control my dreams, with the help of Jeannie.

But now that she is out of the way, I'm sure that he will come back to me.

Because I love him so much more then she ever could have.