Warnings/notes : Aya/Schuldich, hints at Crawford/Nagi, Schuldich's pov, ooc Aya (Schuldich too probably)

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz. The song 'Violet' belongs to Savage Garden. Lyrics slightly altered.

written at 14th may 2003, by Misura


//If there's a way that you could

Be everything you want to be,//

It gets boring after a while, you know, visiting places like this one, getting drunk on other people's happiness, which is as fake as mine. Everything is just so ... meaningless.

Don't get me wrong here ; I'm not some kind of idealist who wants to change the world. Yet I do want to achieve something. I need some sort of success not stemming from the blood on my hands. I'm not like Crawford, who can rest content in the knowledge it were his hands that shaped the future ; I can only see the here and now. And there's nothing there.

I could seduce someone, using a fake name she (or he) would scream tonight but what would I gain from it in the end? A headache, some memories not my own to threaten my sanity ...

I want something different. Something new.

: Maybe you came to the wrong place then. :

Ah yes, my companion for the evening, if not the night. Nagi ...

He complained to me Crawford never let him out of the house save for school, so I agreed to let him ride along in my head. A bad idea if ever I had one, though I see the advantages.

This way, at least, he's perfectly safe for any creeps. He doesn't get really drunk (though he did smash a mug last time we did this). And he doesn't get another lecture from our leader about how he has higher responsibilities. I wonder if Crawford knows ...

: Of course he does. He knows everything. :

//Would you complain

That it came too easy?//

Hero-worshipping at its worst ... very illogical. I'm sure the object of it wouldn't approve, doesn't approve. Still, he does allow Nagi this little excursion, if the kid's right, so perhaps there's some affection between them beyond the leader and his subject.

: Stop prodding, Schuldich! It's none of your business! :

: But I'm curious! :

: You're nosy. Who I sleep with is none of your business. :

: Whaaaat?! :

A silver almost innocent laugh tinkling through my head. I can't believe such a comment from Nagi can actually make me blush ; it's embarrassing.

: Schuldich, Abyssinian is in the building. Stop him. Nagi, go do your homework. :

: Yes, Brad. :

I wait in vain for the expected 'don't call me that'-speech I have received so often. Then, sighing, I go to work. Right now, my job's my life. it may not be much of a job or a life, but it's something.

//Just like the games with you and me

A resolution hard to see,//

: Where is he? What's he doing here? :

: To your left. He's alone. His target's an acquaintance of Mr. Takatori's. :

Hmph. Nobody important in other words ; Crawford doesn't even call him by his name. I wonder what he did to draw Kritiker's fatal attention. Some deliciously violent crime?

: It doesn't matter. Distract him. I strictly forbid you to do any permanent damage. :

: Awww, Brad. You take all the fun out of this unexpected assignment. :

: You said you were looking for someone different ; why not try and seduce *him*? :

My mouth goes dry. Abyssinian is ... well, not quite as bad as Farfarello maybe, but he's seriously messed up. That thing he has with Takatoris is downright frightening sometimes, even if he falls on his face a lot of the times, thanks to Schwarz.

: Are you afraid of him? Don't call me 'Brad' by the way. You know I hate it. :

: You can't be serious about this! :

I know I may look like a slut but that doesn't mean you can point at a person and have me seduce him or her. I'll choose my partners on my own, thank you very much.

//But that's O.K. 'cause I don't

see things that are plain to see//

: Just look at him ... : Crawford's mindvoice is a near-whisper, fading slowly. I suppose that means he's already seen I will do it. It's almost enough to make me walk out of there.

Almost. Not quite. As he has undoubtedly foreseen as well.

Reluctantly my eyes wander over to the indicated spot, expecting to see the stiff figure of Abyssinian, looking totally out of place in this place filled with people dancing and smiling, whether it's because they're drunk or because they're actually having a good time.

Instead ...

He is beautiful in the way of a fallen angel ; divine, seductive, untouchable. His hair seems to be aflame in the spotlights as he sways his body in perfect harmony with the music.

His tight, leather pants make me want to jump him right there and then, mission or no mission, while his shirt hangs open just enough to reveal a tantalizing bit of white skin.

//I've got a dream to take you over

Exploding like a supernova//

As the initial daze wears off, I have a few moments to wonder what on earth Kritiker has done to him to make him behave this way. I mean, yes, it's nice to see him so uninhabited, heck it's a lot better than merely 'nice', but ...

It's not *him* anymore, this beautiful temptation. Somehow I feel cheated out of something essential when I look at him. I don't understand why I feel this way, which makes me even more uneasy. He turns his head, sees me and disappears.

This assignment is going to look worse by the second. Can't I have a simple evening of fun without someone messing it up and complicating things? Where is he? After his target?

A quick glance reassures me ; the nameless victim-to-be is still there.

//I'm going to crash into your world

And that's no lie//

All of a sudden I feel arms snake around my waist, while a body is pressed to mine.

A husky voice whispers "Schuldich" in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine while my heartbeat goes a bit faster.

I know I'm in deep trouble now. Because I enjoy it, would like to know what it would be like to have that body pressed against me when neither of us wears clothes or how those lips would taste on mine.