My Perfect Valentine (Wanda and Toad)

By TheLostMaximoff

Disclaimer: I actually do own something this time, the poems Wanda and Toad write were completely made up by me. Other than that I'm just a broke loser who likes sappy love stories. Oh yeah, this takes place after 'The Toad, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' (duh).

It's Valentine's Day again. I can remember what I did last Valentine's Day. I sat up on the roof and wished for a perfect valentine. Somebody upstairs sure must love me 'cause I got her livin' right here in this house. Sure Wanda don't love me right now but it'll get better. She quit blastin' me around the house and even smiled at my jokes a few times. Pretty soon I may get another kiss. Man, that first one was so amazing. I'd give anything for us to kiss again and for her to really mean it.

I gotta do somethin' special for her. I gotta show her I care about her. That's what Valentine's Day's for, ya know? It's for showin' the people you love how much you care. I don't know what I'm gonna do but it has ta be somethin' good, somethin' romantic.

I don't have much money so I guess I can't buy her anything. I'd use the old five-finger discount but she'd get upset with me if I stole a present for her. Besides, that's what everybody does, buy presents I mean. I need something more original than that. Wanda's not like most girls so I need something different than the usual box o' chocolates or bouquet o' roses.

I sit on the bed and think. I think so hard my brain almost wants ta explode. I could take her some place fancy to eat but that costs money and she ain't too keen on bein' seen in public with me that way. I don't think we've reached the dating stage yet. I could cook her dinner but I tried makin' her breakfast once and filled the kitchen with smoke. Lance was pretty upset about that, Pietro too. Okay, what else is there? I sigh. There has to be somethin' I can do. Somethin' that doesn't cost anything and somethin' that's really easy so I don't goof it up. I try to think of something like that. No candy, no flowers, no card. I stop for a second. My mind starts to finally work. I've got an idea.

I hop over to my backpack and pull out my notebook. I stare at the blank page for a second. How do love poems start out anyways? The really good ones never made since to me till I met Wanda. I know for sure I can't do something like that. What's an easy one? Roses are red, violets are blue. Everybody does that though. Let's be a little creative. How about witches are red, frogs are green? That sounds good.

Okay, now what rhymes with green? Well, that's easy. Seen, of course. There we go, nice little rhyme there. Now, what do I wanna say next? Well, I guess maybe I'd like for us ta go out on a date. We never really got ta do that and I think it'd be good for me ta impress her. Lessee, date. What rhymes with date? Oooh, got one.

Now what? Well, why do I think we should go out? Because I love her, that's easy enough. I guess I just want her to love me too. She really needs someone ta care about her and I just wanna be that kind of person to her. She's the only girl I've ever had the slightest chance with and I just wanna let her know that I think she's wonderful. Hey, I got somethin'.

Ya know, this poetry stuff ain't that bad. Neither is bein' in love, really. I mean yeah it makes ya feel kinda girly and wussy and all that but it's not so bad. It's way different than I imagined but different in a good way. Different in a good way just like my little snugglebunny. A special feeling for a special girl. I hope she likes this poem. I stare down at the paper and read what I wrote. It practically wrote itself, actually.

Witches are red

Frogs are green

You're the most beautiful girl

That I've ever seen

I think it'd be awesome, yo

I think it'd be great

If we could maybe go out

On one tiny, little date

You know that I'm crazy about you

And all I want is for you to love me too

So maybe once on this Valentine's Day

Your answer will be different than what you usually say

And maybe I'd get the tiniest kiss

From my Crimson Cutie, my Scarlet Witch

Ha, take that Willy Shakespeare. Todd Tolensky's got some poetry in him after all. I put a little note at the bottom sayin' that I'd like us to go out and that if she wants to then to let me know. After that I sign my name to my masterpiece and carefully fold it in half. I wonder if they give awards to fifteen-year-olds. Oh well, I'd just settle for bein' with Wanda. I go check to see if she's in her room. She went out for a walk I think. I put the poem on her pillow and go back to my room to wait.


Walking never seems to help much. It doesn't really do anything but temporarily alleviate my problems. Maybe that's all it's supposed to do. What a huge rip-off.

It's Valentine's Day. I'm sure Toad is busy doing something to try and charm me. He gets an A for effort, I'll give him that. He hasn't been so bad lately. Maybe he's starting to grow on me. Yeah, like a fungus. That's about how revolting he is sometimes.

I sigh as I return to the house. I'm not really sure why I'm depressed today. Then again I'm not really sure why I am the way I am a lot of times. I guess it's because of the holiday. I try to remember what I did on Valentine's Day last year. I draw a blank. Big surprise there.

I open my door, close it behind me, and smile a little as I look at my bed. There's a note on my pillow. I already know who it's from. I unfold it and giggle a little. It's a cute poem, sappy and goofy just like him. Why does he care so much? Nobody else does. Well sure Father and Pietro do but that's because they're family and they're obligated to. This is different though. Nobody but him has ever made me feel this kind of special.

I owe him an answer, I suppose. This time I'll try the truth. Honesty's always the best policy, right? Maybe it's time I started being a little honest with myself. I guess I like Toad. He's always trying to make me laugh or smile. He's never done anything to hurt me and if I ever wanted to talk to him about something I'm sure he'd listen. I guess he's kind of my friend.

I sit on my bed and think. I tear a page out of my diary and grab a pen. I look at his poem. Witches are red, frogs are green. Cute, Todd, very cute. It's only fair I reply in the same manner.

He loves me so much and all he wants in return is for me to love him back a little. I'm sorry that I can't do that. I'm sorry that he wants what I can't give him. Why can't I give him what he wants? Why can't he be more than just a friend to me? I don't know. All I know is that for some reason the more he pushes, the closer he gets, the more I get scared and pull away. I want someone to love me, yes, but if I'm being honest with myself then I have to say it isn't Toad. I have to tell him that I'm just not ready, that we need to just be friends. My hand has suddenly developed a mind of its own it seems. I stare down at the poem I just wrote.

Witches are red

Frogs are green

I'm sorry Todd but

It just wouldn't work out between you and me

It's not that I don't like you

It's definitely not that

You're sweet and goofy and cute

And all that other mushy love crap

No, the reason that I must regretfully decline

Is that I like being your friend and you being mine

But that's as far as I'd like it to go

I'm sorry but I'm just not ready, you know

You've been a prince to me, a regular saint

But when it comes to you I'm just not ready to date

Not exactly on par with William Blake but it works, I guess. I write him a little note saying I'm sorry but I can't love him like he wants. The only thing I can be right now is a friend. I sign my name and hope he's not too disappointed. I fold the poem and put it in my coat pocket. There's some noise on the roof. I suspect it's him.


Wanda opened her window and climbed out onto the roof. It was a nice night, a bit chilly but clear. She stared at the full moon. It reminded her of something but she couldn't exactly remember what. She saw Toad staring at it too.

"Toad?" she asked.

"Hey," he replied as he turned to notice her, "What'cha doin' up here?" Wanda nervously avoided meeting his eyes. Was she actually starting to get shy around him?

"Nothing much," she replied, "Just needed some air I guess."

"You wanna sit with me?" asked Toad. Wanda seemed to have a hard time forming coherent thoughts. She felt her face start to turn red. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Sure," she managed to reply. She sat down next to him. She couldn't remember them ever sitting this close. His arm moved around her shoulder. Instinctively she moved to brush it off but then stopped.

"The moon's really pretty tonight," said Toad. She could tell he was a little nervous too. She found that somewhat comforting. It was good to know they were on an even playing field.

"Yeah," she replied. It was a beautiful full moon. It reminded her of something, something to do with Valentine's Day.

"It reminds me of last Valentine's Day," continued Toad, "I sat up here then too." Last Valentine's Day? What had she done last Valentine's Day? Something to do with the moon. Had she been staring at the same moon as he had been?

"What did you do last year?" she asked him.

"You'll laugh if I told you," replied Toad as he shook his head.

"Try me," she dared.

"I imagined myself a perfect valentine," explained Toad, "A dream girl to fall in love with. I thought up everything, described her perfect, and then thought about us gettin' married and stuff." Wanda had the oddest feeling that she'd done the same thing last year.

"Hey, did you get my poem?" asked Toad. Wanda reflexively smiled but her hand closed around the poem in her pocket.

"Yeah," she said, "we need to talk."

"You didn't like it?" asked Toad glumly. Wanda almost wanted to cry. She'd never really seen Toad look sad before. She didn't like it at all.

"No, it was really sweet," she explained, "It's just that I'm not sure how I feel about you. I don't know if you're a friend or . . . or something more."

"Is there any way to find out?" asked Toad. Wanda thought about it for a minute. She'd tried everything she knew. She looked at him. He was cute, loveable, cuddly. He was always willing to do anything for her, always ready to make her smile. He treated her like the center of his universe, like a princess.

"Just one," she whispered as she kissed him on the lips. She had meant it to be a small one just to see if she liked it or not. Her answer came almost immediately as she refused to let their lips part.

"That's your present," she breathed as they separated.

"So," said Toad as soon as he caught his breath, "what am I now?"

"Almost there," replied Wanda, "but I still need some time to think."

"I can wait," assured Toad, "for as long as it takes."

"Thank you," said Wanda as she turned to leave, "Hey Toad, what was your perfect valentine like?"

"Exactly like you," replied Toad with a smile, "You're the only girl for me, Wanda." She smiled too.

"Happy Valentine's Day, slimeball," she said as she climbed back down to her window.

"You too, cuddlebumps," replied Toad. Wanda went back inside her room and shut her window. Her hand reached into her pocket and closed around the poem she'd written for him.

"Just like me," she mumbled as she crumpled it up and threw it away. She could remember playing a game just like that. She could remember her perfect valentine being a lot like him.

"Just friends," she said to herself, "maybe a little bit more." Maybe she did think of him as more than a friend. Maybe she really did love him. Maybe, just maybe, Toad wasn't the only one who had found a perfect valentine.